Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
This episode proudly contains true stories shared with us by our audience.
The monologues of Maureen and David come directly from their submitted stories, edited for dramatic purposes.
We appreciate their contributions.
- Rose - Hi!
- This is so weird. - Ya.
Truthpaste: it never occurred to me that I might see anyone I actually know at one of these.
So, you're...
Oh ya, I'm totally gay.
I think my mom is still in the pretending to be "okay with it" stage.
Those two men you came with are they...?
Oh no! That’s my dad and his friend.
- Mmm, his "friend". - No! I mean, he really is just his friend.
I recently came out to my dad.
No way! That's awesome!
I guess.
And your mom, does she know?
No...
I don't have a mom, she died.
- I'm sorry. - It's just me and my dad.
Your dad?
Oh, no.
My dad's not really apart of my life.
It's mostly just me, my mom and my brother.
As freaked out as mom is, at least she’s playing along.
I dunno how my dad will take it.
This is the second meeting we’ve been to and it’s been really good. She’s really learning.
- Oh my god I’m talking way too much. - It’s okay, um...
I get really quiet when I’m nervous.
Okay everyone!
Let's get back. It's an emotional night, we have other stories we want to hear.
So let's get back in the circle.
Are you going to share?
I dunno...
See ya...
Hi My name is Maureen. I am a PFLAG Mom.
Many of you already know me, and of my son David.
He came out here tonight.
He's the reason I joined PFLAG.
And, he’s the bravest person I have ever known.
David came out when he was in high school.
He’d go to high school every day and every day he was terrorized.
Every single day.
They would call him names, they would push and shove him.
Make him feel worthless.
And he didn't get any help.
Anyone. Not even from his teachers.
He was alone.
I tried to deal with the school system, and I couldn't affect change.
He was robbed of his education,
youth,
joy.
And he didn't get much relief at home either.
When I wasn't around, his siblings were as unkind as the people at school.
And then there is my ex-husband.
He thought the only way to deal with it was to beat the gay out of him.
That was about that time, that David...
...my baby, my boy,
...left school and didn't finishing.
He moved to Toronto, from Chatham, where we used live.
And he disappeared.
He was gone for a whole year.
He was only 17.
And I couldn't find him.
Oh, I looked, I scanned faces whenever, all the time. But I couldn’t find him.
Where he was, what he did that year. I won't ever know. Because he doesn't talk about it.
But I do know he started cutting.
And considered suicide.
I’m sorry, honey, am I saying too much?
No, no go on.
He finally came home to even more trouble.
He tried to reconcile with his dad.
And ended up hospitalized.
Now I know it is not the only brave one in this room.
I look around the room and all the faces, and I see a lot of the stories are the same.
But I cry because...
When I think about, and I talk about how hard it is for a mother,
...to see that pain,
...and not be able to fix it.
I'll never know what he goes through.
But he's the bravest person I know.
I don’t think I need to introduce myself.
If it’s alright, I'd like to tell a fun story.
I’ve got a lot of serious stories.
But I think I'd like to tell about the first, well, my first dance with a boy.
So, grade ten. I was sixteen years old. I was out.
I was fabulous.
And I had a pretty good group of friends.
There was a new guy to the group.
Let's call him J.
J was absolutely and utterly beautiful.
He was like 6’3", 190lbs, all muscle.
He had blonde shaggy hair.
And the most beautiful hazel eyes I'd ever seen.
Needless to say, I was head over heels from the moment I saw him.
As was every other girl.
Fast forward to the last school dance of the year.
I used to love school dances, I went to every one.
I'd go there and I'd dance with my girls and I'd get my groove on, I'd ham it up.
We'd usually make a production of the entire thing.
You know, at my school dances,
it was me and the girls on the dance floor,
the guys were off to the wings waiting for the slow songs.
First slow song of the night comes up,
J comes over to me and asks if I want to dance.
I remember looking at him like he had three heads or something.
I thought it was a big joke, I thought he'd embarrass me if I said yes.
Or worse, if I said yes he’d say:
"Well I’m not a *** so DEAL!"
I told him no.
Be he kept asking me.
It's the last slow dance of the night.
J comes over to me and taps me on the shoulder and asks if he could cut in.
It's the last dance of the night. I could go out and get some fresh air. So I back up so he could dance with my girl Trish.
To my surprise, he grabs me and he pulls me next to him.
It was with such force that I literally had to wrap my arms around him to keep from falling over.
I looked him in the eye and all I could get out was "why?"
And he said:
"All night you've danced with girls...
...you've not actually had the chance to dance with anyone you actually like"
"I know you've got a crush on me"
"And I'm flattered, but I'm not gay"
"But I don't mind giving you this dance"
The tears began to well up in my eyes at that moment.
At this point, I'd never been kissed.
Never had a boy friend.
This was the closest I’d ever gotten to physical intimacy with someone I actually wanted.
I remember saying:
"But all the guys are going to assume..."
He told me to shut up.
And he said,
"Dude, I couldn't give a *** what the morons in this school think."
"So shut up and enjoy your dance."
The tears were coming at full force now, I buried my head in his shoulder.
But he just, he held me, and he danced with me while I cried.
That was my first dance with a boy.
Is it okay if I go next?
Go ahead sweetie.
Hi, I’m Nathan.
My daughter just came out to me.
I had a hunch.
Well, more than a hunch, actually.
But she wasn't telling me.
And I'm okay with it.
But she wasn't telling me.
And that part, I wasn't okay with.
It's just the two of us.
And we've always had each other's backs.
So the thought that she was hiding something from me was killing me.
Anyway...
She's out now.
To me, not others.
Well,
to some others.
So,
it was a colossal act of stupidity...
...when I...
...outted her to somebody.
And it's had a profoundly negative affect on Rose
I'm try to make it right.
But as a friend of mine pointed out to me,
I can't make the world a better place for my blossom.
No matter how hard I try.
Or even how hard I want to try.
I am so sorry honey. I...
I really screwed up.
I know.
I'm sorry.
It's just that, all your stories...
I mean, you're all so brave.
And that's not me.
I...
That'll come.
The bravery, it'll will come.
It's just...
Before anyone knew,
I was still able to see my best friend.
I just want things to go back to the way that they were.
I’m so tired.
It’s exhausting being emotional.
I’m going right to bed.
Dad?
Thanks.
I'm really glad that we went.
Would you go again?
Good night sweetie.
Please support Out With Dad! visit outwithdad.com