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Supporting Families Living with FASD in Haldimand and Norfolk Counties
Reflections of a birth mother By Elizabeth Russell
There is something inside her at last For the longest time there was nothing
She gazes into the mirror And raises her glass, drinks and turns away
Pragmatism wins over introspection Her glass is empty
She already loves her baby more than she has ever loved herself
But will that be enough? She imagines how he will look when he is born
How will she dress him What sort of man he will become
She already loves him more than she ever thought possible
He nudges her and she smiles briefly She feels different now ñ special ñ and
for someone who has never felt special in her life
Itís a good feeling She watches as her image fills the glass and
raises it to her lips And she sips the only thing that has ever
made her happy, her baby waits to be born. Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is an umbrella
term used to describe the range of disabilities associated with prenatal alcohol exposure.
These disabilities include physical and intellectual disabilities as well as problems with behaviour
and learning. Health Canada estimates that there are more than 3,000 babies a year born
with FASD and about 300,000 people currently living with it in Canada.
FASD has no cure and has huge public health implications in terms of personal, societal
and economic costs. In a recent Canadian study on FASD, it was reported that the lifetime
cost of fetal alcohol spectrum disorder was estimated at 1 million dollars per case.
FASD is not isolated to any specific population group, as it touches all social classes and
ethnic groups and exists in communities both large and small throughout Canada and the
world. We were able to get the information from the
birth mother cause we knew who she was. So we were able to talk. I had a picture of her
with a glass in her hand, a Christmas picture. And I knew at that time she was about four
months pregnant. So I showed her the picture and said OK, when did you stop drinking when
did you find out you were pregnant because she wasnít, she was, they were a university
couple, so there wasnít a lot of alcohol and drug abuse. And ah, she says well I was
four months - she says I donít like alcohol that much anyway but when I was four months
pregnant was when I found out and thatís when I stopped drinking. And she said we only
drank the odd time on the weekends but sometimes thatís all you need, you know? A few too
many drinks on the weekend. Itís not like thereís an amount that you can drink thatís
safe. It just doesnít happen. So... But she was honest about it.
No alcohol during pregnancy is the safest and best choice.
The Haldimand-Norfolk Health Unit collected data in 2010 from adults aged 18 years and
older focusing on the perceived risks of drinking during pregnancy. This process began after
2 local bars in Norfolk had concerns over serving pregnant woman at their establishments.
A woman does not usually set out to deliberately harm her unborn child. If it occurs the reasons
are multifaceted and complex. Many do not realize that depression and anxiety can be
controlled, so they medicate with alcohol. Parents with children having FASD have found
contacting services to be the most frustrating, humiliating and demoralizing experience.
He finally got his laptop cause he canít write. It was the end of grade six, he applied
for it in grade three. And the teacher at the elementary school tried to take it away
from him as a disciplinary measure every time he acted up. So thatís like saying to me
ìOk, when I donít like what youíre doing Iím going to take your glasses so you canít
seeî My glasses are an assistive technology, right, without them I am as blind as a bat.
So, they just donít get it. The teacher actually, when they, he was rolling down the hall, itís
self soothing, they roll. They comfort, right. He was rolling down the hall and the teacher
actually said in front of him to me, ìthe school would be a better place without him
in it, it would be a quieter place without him in itî and he wasnít the noisiest squawk
in the special ed class. Iím the visible teen with the invisible disability
Nobody can see my disability. I look just like every other teenager. Attractive, friendly,
talkative. But nobody sees my disability. They canít see how my neurons are scrambled
in my brain. And they canít see the misconnections between the left and right brain. They canít
see the little empty spaces in my frontal lobes where brain cells were supposed to grow
by didnít. Okay, than you lead through it and ask questions
then cause I cannot lead through talking. It does not work.
Well letís just say I run around the halls like crazy and usually I choose from one of
the special ed classes my little accomplice and we go play tricks and stuff. And it was
fun but I got in trouble for it. I didnít really have a reason, I ah got bored
and I didnít like class. So I ran around and played tricks.
Youíre not paying attention, youíve got to put more effort into what youíre doing,
why are you doing that ñ and it would start. Next thing you know, down the hall heíd go
and then Iíd get a phone call to come pick him up. Heís not behaving himself.
She totally gets it. And she will not let anybody tell these kids that they canít do
something or their not worthy or stupid or treat them the way they are not supposed to
be treated. -How old were you when you were diagnosed
with FASD? Do you remember? No, how old was I?
-I think you were about 9. Huh... I donít remember that.
You were diagnosed - He was diagnosed with tourettes. At the time we got him he was 3
months old. It was sensory issues that he had, and i thought somethingís up, somethingís
up. And we knew the birth family had bi-polar disorder which Iím sure he has. And we didnít
know about the tourettes, but he was having some tics and facial tics and what not and
I thought hmmm.... I have a bookmark and Iíve been student of
the week assembly before -perfect
Itís like when you did something very well. I got it at least two or three times this
year. So, Iím gonna get to go to the elementary
school dance if itís ok with Mom. Itís just in our own gym and the lights are out and
balloons are falling all over the place. But I need to bring a canned food item and a dollar
but if I bring more money I can buy balloons, those ñ um ñ I can buy food, I can get those
bracelet things that glow in the dark. I hope that I make it college one day.
I like to meet new friends there. Mmmm, Iím not sure if Iím gonna get to highschool.
As caring people and professionals we can reduce stress and certain behaviours and create
effective lifelong support networks that allow families with FASD to navigate their world
safely and constructively. We need to start by listening.
- Whatís the best part about school? That I get to hang out with my friends
-If you could say anything to your teachers about FASD what would it be?
Ah, listen to my mom for once {laughs} no just kidding
-Are you mad at your birth mom? No. No cause Iím still here arenít I?
Just a few drinks Some parents have a hard time getting their
kids to just act normal Some parents have a hard time getting their
kids to just dress formal Some kids have trouble most of the time even
before they were nine Some kids have trouble most of the time even
before there was a sign Some families need to look for some help before
their families will melt Some families need to look for some help so
everything can be dealt People need to learn to open their eyes and
stop ruining little ones lives People need to learn to open their eyes before
another little one dies Alcohol will always taste just so great but
when you are pregnant just wait Alcohol will always taste just so great because
after a few drinks itís just too late Supporting Families Living with FASD in Haldimand
and Norfolk Counties The Haldimand-Norfolk Health Unit would like
to acknowledge the entire Asquith family of Hagersville for sharing their strength, sense
of humor, kind spirit and wisdom. We would also like to give thanks to Anne-Marie
Lenos, Paige and Mogan Dunn. Video Created by: Angela Swick, RN, BSCN,
Public Health Nurse, Haldimand-Norfolk Health Unit
Video Edited by: Katie Sinkowski, RGD, Communications Services, Haldimand-Norfolk Health Unit
© Haldimand-Norfolk Health Unit.