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IrreverenTV and Mundo Joven present
Chapter 2 (France): Baguettes would be better with jalapeños
We're about to start the official tour with Mundo Joven
Around 5am or 6am in London
Is that milk or is it…
It's hot milk with asldkcsndf
Hot milk in the morning gives me diarrhoea…
We had no idea that we'd make this great friend, Felipe,
who helped me out with so many things.
Morfo hasn't arrived yet, we've already put the luggage on the bus-
here he is.
Come on man!
The door to Europe
Do you guys realise that this is barely the beginning?
Good morning.
The truth is I really did like London 'cuz it's like… futuristic.
The only thing missing was robots cleaning up the bird ***...
which I don't doubt is possible.
We're about to take the ferry which is taking us to France.
I introduce you to Felipe.
Hey, how's it going?
(In the future)
It's huge!
I'm Tato and behind me we can see England!
The tour we're doing really starts here on this ferry.
It takes about an hour and a half to get from Dover, England to Calais, France.
I feel like I'm on the Titanic
It's like… you always present like a little girl
What do you mean, little girl?
Dunno, it's like "omg like, everything's so, awesome!"
It's so that people of all ages can understand this ***, man
It's not only for your followers who are vulgar
There are also kids who watch us.
My people aren't vulgar…
My people are studious…
Uh-huh
And… overall very intellectual
Well, there'a bit of everything...
Well, I didn't mean that the people who watch Morfo
lack education or are vulgar…
What I meant was that the people who watch Morfo are a little more…
like him… a little more… free when expressing himself
I am the producer of this programme
and I was trying to speak to Tato professionally.
And I told him the truth: he's a little girl…
I'm getting so dizzy…
I'm getting so dizzy.
We have arrived in France.
Yup- we're in France.
We came by sea, crossing the English Channel
All this has happened so fast, I haven't really realised what's happening
and we're in France…
I fell asleep and now everybody's got off the bus without me
So we're staying here?
Yeah, we've arrived at camp…
Soon this will be a little village of travellers.
And your snoring will fill the air.
I don't snore, Tato…
All these rumours about me snoring like a lion and what not..
it's all lies! He's making it up to make me look ridiculous
in front of my people. I never snore.
I'm really worried about the fact that we don't have electricity.
It's the truth, now Tato's scratching his balls…
What are you doing Tato?!
Let's not talk about your ***, Tato.
Let's talk about the camera.
What we experienced in the hostel was different to what was in store for us,
we would be staying in tents.
Do you know how to put up a tent?
I used to be a boy scout. And that doesn't mean I'm a momma's boy.
What are you making, Felipe?
I'm cutting some pumpkin…
What if we sleep right in the middle so that
everyone can hear your *** snoring,
and so nobody else can sleep but you.
You just went really personal, man.
So, I edit this thing, and so I'm not gonna
show the snoring - the snoring that doesn't exist, by the way...
No man, seriously
Man there's nowhere else!
In the corner, mate!
What's the problem? If I can put up with it so can they…
Cameras, cameras…
camera ***…
cameras…
So this is your residence?
Your flat?
Yeah man…
Interesting
We've finished putting up the tent...
Morfo's put our stuff in the tent and has arranged them tetris-style
A basic rule for any explorer
I have hungry, let's eat
So you eat this...
stupid...
We're in Paris, the city of love, the city of lights.
A completely different atmosphere because we're
a group of people from everywhere around the world.
We all help out around the camp, for example Felipe,
Where are you from, Felipe?
Colombia.
And Felipe's helping out in the kitchen today.
Guess where I am, friends!
I'm at the ice-cream and panini shop!
Every time I'm hungry I wanna come here and get a panini.
They're delicious.
Paris is the most visited country in the world.
You can see the Eiffel Tower right behind me,
a majestic monument to humanity.
Just look how great it looks at night…
Wow, the tower shines at its best
Early in the morning…
Let's go guys…
One of the great myths about Europe is that there is wifi everywhere.
Correction. There is no internet. And when there is, they charge for it.
*** man, everybody thinks I was snoring last night but no,…
it was you. Like a bear. Those are her words.
They said "We thought it was the *** fat dude".
But no. It was this *** right here.
"Get up and shower, etc.", *** hell…
And in the car in Mexico I was saying,"It's gonna be great
and the show's gonna be epic and thanks for the support,
it's a dream come true!"
And we're gonna be prepared so that this project is really a success.
My balls!!!
We slept about 3 or 4 hours…
Who's fault was that?
Yours.
MINE? It's you who wouldn't let me sleep.
Shut up, because me?
I showered at night because I knew this was gonna happen.
I told Morfo to shower and he didn't.
No because I was editing.
Why don't we see a clip from last night?
What are you doing?
Editing, look…
In the toilet?
Where else?
Cuz, one thing we didn't know about Europe is that there's no internet…
I'm editing to get a head start on the episodes for Aventurista...
We're in line to get into the Louvre…
There it is…
Morfo, we're in front of one best known works of art in the world.
Yes.
The Mona Lisa
Milo's Venus
What about this guy? Why's he holding a business card?
The Louvre in Paris was one of the things I wanted to see in my lifetime
and I had the opportunity to do so on this tour…
I am, especially me, I'm a massive fan of museums.
Nah, just kidding.
How much is it?
I'm gonna have half the baguette now and save
the rest for later.
Ok so one each then…
We went to the supermarket, bought those massive breads,
parma ham, cheese, lettuce, and everything in French.
The prices, the numbers everything. Nothing in Spanish.
Baguette camera.
It won't fit in that one…
Hurry up guys…
Have you got yours already?
This one's soft, do you like it hard?
Just tell them already, Tato…
Yeah, I like it hard.
1 euro for this?
What is this?
Polenta
***, seriously?
It's polenta…
It's so cheap!
Well, yeah…
Of all the tips that Alexis gave us there was one in particular which I liked
which was to go to the supermarket and buy your own ham, cheese and bread
to save money and make your own sandwich…
Baguette!!!
We sat on the sea shore- well it wasn't the sea it was some river there,
but it wasn't any river, it was a river… in Paris, man.
So Alexis has brought us to this part of the river…
What are you doing, Morfo?
I'm setting up the camera for a sick shot.
Here Morfo, professional cook, is preparing himself a baguette,
traditional French style.
Let's see what the ham tastes like…
Tates like ham.
The good thing about being in Europe is that it's such a small continent…
France, Italy and Spain together are almost the size of Mexico.
I want to say… that it needs some jalapeños.
I didn't dare say it so as to not break the illusion.
We were eating our lunch, weren't we? With some wine…
and I was like "wow, we're in Paris" and we were there in the open, chilling,
and then the idea hit me… I miss jalapeños so bad…
OK, so while we were walking around Paris we made a new friend.
This is Lizzy.
When we were in Paris a Mexican girl came up to us…
as you know there's always Mexican in every country.
We were opposite the hunchback of Notre Dame- or what's it called?
Dude! It's cuz I don't know, man, I don't like the Hunchback of Notre Dame
I never saw the Disney movie…
OK, man! I mixed up hunchback with ***… building, what's the problem?
We were in front of that building where the hunchback of Notre Dame used to live…
It's his, man…
Let's say it was like his house before he died…
and this strange girl came up to us and said "Hey, you guys are Mexican!"
and we were like… "Yeah, yeah…"
I suppose she said it because she saw my belt, as I have a Mexican belt.
What are you doing here, Lizzy?
Umm… I dunno, walking around, meeting people, Mexicans…
…and getting to know Paris.
How many stops left?
"Chateau d'Eau"
It's a myth that all the Paris metro smells like *** and sweat…
… it's not true. The people are pretty polite…
She's waiting for some friends from London- no, from Brittany…
and while she waits for them she's stick around with us for a while…
and now we're going to a curious and special place…
… that Alexis is taking us to.
What's up?
Umm, we had to change but it's only one station away.
I could feel a vibe, because I'm all about vibes…
I don't do witchcraft- well, only white witchcraft
because black witchcraft is the devil's.
Which way is it?
Hold on...
Alexis knows France pretty well, but he took us through
a neighbourhood that didn't look exactly… nice…
Why the camera?
Why? Because we're making a show here…
A what?
A documentary…
When we got out of the metro I was about to be robbed by someone…
and he was going to take my camera.
Tato was recording the whole time…
I didn't understand what was happening yet.
I had the camera round my neck and I put it back in the bag,
and I thought "these guys want to mug us"…
so this guy tries to take Tato's camera,
and Tato simply doesn't let him.
…but I'm scared that they'll take the camera.
Yeah man that's what they wanted to do so hide it for now.
Please! We're Mexicans! I mean… In Paris, the thugs try to
steal things in a nice way, I mean dude! In Mexico
they'll pull out a knife and that's if you're lucky because most use guns.
Alexis brought us to a place where not every tourist comes…
Look at this spectacular view…
There's some pretty interesting stuff going on…
There's someone over there with a football, I'll show you guys a clip.
As Mexicans, it is our responsibility not to abandon Lizzy,
and now she's got us walking all about the city.
We went to a neighbourhood where we were invaded by like seven guys
five seconds after coming out of the station saying "why are you recording, etc."
He could have taken the camera but he didn't so…
Yeah we don't know exactly what was going on because it was
pretty confusing with the mixture of languages so what we decided
was to do *** all.
By then I was a little tired, a little bothered, and sincerely frightened
of what had just happened. I didn't want to risk losing the equipment,
and I wanted to rest because we were getting up at 6am the next morning.
We're in the neighbourhood this Mexican girl is staying in…
because… we've come to pick up her girl friends.
We'll see if tonight we...
So Lizzy's friends showed up and the only thing they did was
delay the recording and lose quite a bit of time.
What's up, Tato?
That's not a valid answer, man that doesn't say anything.
I'm a little confused because there's no organisation...
also my philosophy is to be an Aventurista
Aventurista
So Alexis took us to a place which was pretty cool,
I have to admit, it was pretty cool… a place where everyone goes
to drink and have some fun, to record some clips for Aventurista.
But my intention was to record and go to sleep because we
had to be up early in the morning.
You said you wanted to be the one in charge and that I'd record,
and I'm recording… you're the boss, man.
I said we should leave.
So what are we doing here?
And I also told you to support me, remember?
Yeah, so what are we doing here?
I don't have a voice or a vote because you're the boss.
***…
I said… so in that moment you turn around and we leave,
you don't go on, you don't keep walking…
Where?
Nowhere.
You never said that, don't be an ***.
OK, you say "Let's not argue like children".
The only child here is you because you can't make a decision
and you don't have the balls to say what you really want.
"Do whatever…" that's for little girls, not even little boys!
It's clear that you don't want to go, what I don't understand
is why we're still walking. Let's turn back and go towards
the Eiffel Tower, and that's it.
Things shouldn't be tense, but they are…
Tato was blaming it all on me,
saying that I was responsible for everything
and that I was the worst person in the world.
Hello, welcome to Paris.
It's incredible that she speaks perfect Spanish, don't you?
Sort of…
It's incredible… if I spoke another language I'd sound like
some sort of bilingual monkey.
More wine!!!
Is Red?
It's ***…
After a long day in Paris, we've arrived at Bastille,
where the French Revolution began.
After three hundred years it has
become a place where young people come to enjoy the night.
By the way, we're with our two friends from Brittany.
How are you? Are you having a good time here?
Yeah, really good… we're going to get drunk…
What's a the French nightlife like?
Lots of wine, lots of people and lots of sex…
Well, Alexis, as you've seen throughout Aventurista,
...our cameraman is drunk, that's why the camera's moving so much…
Watch out, watch out…
… he's our guru and he's the one who- it's *** man, what the…
The truth is that we were very tired, but not enough to stop us
from continuing the adventure…
So we've decided to come to a latin bar because
there are also latin bars here in Paris where people like to come
and dance to reggaeton… do you like reggaeton?
Yeah, yeah. Of course I like reggaeton.
Let's go man!
I was told we were going to leave, we recorded the clip,
with the intention of going to sleep at camp
But the guys wanted to keep on… celebrating…
Well, Tato's really really pissed off and blaming it all on me…
and I kind of understand… we've got eight more countries to visit
and we're already having serious arguments…
I had to go back to camp with Morfo and Felipe,
pissed off because we had an argument.
Um… Alexis stayed with the girls…
and we're on our way back to camp….
We're waiting here for a cab to pass… we're pretty desperate…
We've finally arrived at camp without Alexis.
It was a great effort to get here to say the truth
because of the barrier and impediments of the difference in language…
I was pretty upset because I thought that perhaps,
not knowing the country, the people and the language,
we might miss the bus, which leaves very early tomorrow morning.
Despite all the friction caused that night-
-Alexis, with this attitude-
-of wanting to keep on partying-
-made me thing that the project was fu-
-we were going to have a REALLY good time.
In the next episode of Aventurista,
Tato, Morfo, Alexis and Felipe
will live new experiences full of love…
that sounded gay.
Oh, and Alexis and Morfo will take a big jump over the Swiss Alps.
If you're an Aventurista then please comment, share and like!