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Hello, I'm Dr. Poonam Sharma, author of Strong Women, Strong Love: The Missing Manual for
the Modern Marriage.
I'm a licensed psychologist in the State of Texas, so please be advised that any information
provided in this video is purely for educational purposes, and should not be thought of as
any form of counseling or psychotherapy.
In today's video, I'd like to talk with you about the topic of stress, and especially
how affects relationships.
All of us pretty much know that life in the United States is highly stressful. All you
have to do is look around you and you will see people rushing around trying to juggle
work, family responsibilities, and they are also trying to squeeze in some exercise, time
out with friends--all the things we've been told we should be doing to have a well-rounded
life.
Low levels of stress in our lives add challenge, add stimulation. The problem comes in when
the levels of stress get very high and they are constantly high. If you look at the latest
surveys from the American Psychological Association, one of the things we're seeing is that not
only are adults in this society stressed, it's also trickling down to our teens.
So getting a handle on stress is incredibly important for all of us because high levels
of stress, one of the biggest impacts they have is that they tend to cause breakdown,
and breakdown physically, a person who has been stressed for a long period of time is
often more vulnerable to being sick, they may have problems with sleep, their appetite
may be off, just may not be functioning at their best. They are usually functioning at
their worst.
So, in terms of a relationship, if you have a partner that is stressed or you are the
person who is stressed, when you show up in that relationship, you're really not at your
best and the stress itself impairs your ability to engage your partner, to really be there
with them in a constructive way.
Someone who is stressed is often more agitated, they're more defensive, they have a harder
time thinking constructively about things. They are just really just putting out fires
as they come along, and that's a hard way to function in a marriage.
I'd like for you to step back and look at your own relationship. Ask yourself, "How's
my relationship when the stress level is low?" Are things pretty great then? And do they
start to unravel as the stress level gets higher? Or, is that I really do have some
other issues, and it doesn't really matter what the stress level is. They are always
there. That's one of thing you can do to start teasing out whether the problem is coming
from outside or if it's something that is inherent to one of you.
If you'd like to hear more about this topic, stay tuned for future videos about stress
and how to manage it. Also, you can go to my blog, StrongWomenStrongLove.com and sign
up for my mailing list so that we can be in touch.
Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you next time.