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So this is going to be about junior and senior year of college.
As I said yesterday, I was going to talk about what I learned at the end of sophomore year and how that affected me later in college.
One of the big things was realizing that race played a big factor in dating.
And it happened to be that junior year I got more involved within the Indian community at the university of michigan.
I did this thing called IASA which is the Indian American Student Association and thats pretty much where you
put on a dance show and there's like a couple hundred people that join and then you get split up in teams. It doesn't matter how skilled you are.
But regardless, I met a lot more indian kids on campus and it was really really cool being able to meet other brown kids. The weird thing is
that lots of the kids in IASA were already friends. Either they went to high school together or they'd already been doing IASA together for a couple years.
And since this was my junior year, I was entering kind of late so I didn't know them that well. I felt a little bit alienated because I didn't know too much about
Bollywood or anything related to India.
Because I grew up around so many white people, I have assimilated more to "white culture," whatever that means. I definitely didn't get in touch with
my indian roots.
Even just the fact that everyone could speak another language, even though my parents speak Telegu and Kannada, I can only speak English.
Because I was a little brat when I was younger and would not respond to my mom in Telegu or Kannada so she gave up on me and my sisters.
It was one of those things where I didn't feel Indian enough.
Which I think a lot of people kind of go through being in a diaspora. Is it diaspora or diaspora?
I don't fricken know. Anayways,
I felt kind of lost and I thought that if I were to meet more brown kids that it would be a little bit easier for me to figure things out as far as what
it means to be brown. But, it wasn't that easy and I ended up seeing this kid who was brown. The first brown guy that I've ever quote on quote "dated"
nothing official but we had a thing.
And there were just so many things where I had no idea what he was talking about. I just didn't know anything about Bollywood and he had a huge
interest in it and I would just be like "yup, haven't heard about that song. Don't know what you're talking about". I mean
the last time I was really into Bollywood films was when I was in fourth grade and that was like Dil Chahta Hai and Khabi Kushi Khabi Gham. So
old old Bollywood classics.
But nothing current.
But one great thing is that there was so many things that I was a lot more comfortable about. He understood immediately when I was like yeah
I didn't date in high school. It wasn't this shocking thing which was really cool not having to explain myself on so many things that
I normally did have to explain myself. Even some of the other brown girls on the dance team would talk about how they had
been in a relationship that they had to keep private from their parents. Whether they are currently in those types of relationships.
So it was really interesting being surrounded by that and it was a lot more comforting knowing that there were other people that were kind of
going through the same thing as me. Especially in the area of having difficulties talking to your parents about dating. It was a good thing and a bad
thing. So great that I didn't feel like I had to explain myself as much but a little sad because I didn't feel Indian enough.
Now I don't have any obligation to live up to anyone's standards to be "more indian". It's just kind of a realization that it's a big part of something
that I've missed out on. And I've worked on a little bit more to get in touch with that and learn a little bit more about India.
Whether that be it's history or mainstream media. To bring it back to dating I realized that dating someone brown makes a big difference
and it is something that is very important to me. I used to say things like "oh I'm not into brown guys," mostly because I was only ever surrounded by white people so
I was just conditioned in a way to believe that you know the whole beauty standards of European beauty standards and to think that is more attractive and
That was like a lot of internalized racism and throughout college I definitely unlearned a lot of that. I don't feel that way at all anymore.
At the end of senior year, another thing I realized is that obviously not all brown people are the same and just because like you're both from India
or you're both brown, that doesn't make it any easier.
In terms of dating. Like some things get easier but then there are other problems that arise.
Whether that is just the difference that people project on north indians versus south indians or muslims versus hindus.
Which, there's those other issues that come along into, into the I guess, into the realm of dating that I didn't expect and I'm definitely learning a lot more about it.
But overall with dating now, after I've met a couple people whether that be white or brown, I just don't really care to date anyone. I'm not interested in anyone currently
It's not a priority. I've distanced myself from people that prioritize dating and it has been really good for me because I don't feel this pressure.
It's not something I'm against, it's also not a priority for me anymore and I'm a lot happier that way not caring about whether or not I'm
dating someone. Which is really good. I noticed that about myself at the end of senior year that you know I just don't care to date right now.
There's too many other, there's too many things that I'm working on that are higher priority for me like work and just figuring out what myself
that I'm putting first before it comes to dating. So that concludes this, today's VEDA which is what VEDA day 6 and I hope you enjoyed it.
Tomorrow I'm going to do kind of like a Q & A so if you have any questions please please please comment below. I'm going to recap some of the questions
that people have commented in the other videos but yeah that is all for today!