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WHAT'S UP NEXT, QUIET RIOT AND
TRICKSTER.
I HAVE A
[ EXPLETIVE ]
REPUTATION IN THIS INDUSTRY THE
I DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT.
I'M OUT.
THIS IS SEBASTIAN BACH, OUT.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> SEBASTIAN BACH.
CRAIG GASS, OUR NEXT PRESENTER,
MAY KNOW HIM FROM "SEX AND THE
CITY" WHERE HE RODE SARAH
JESSICA PARKER TO VICTORY IN THE
KENTUCKY DERBY EPISODE.
GIVE IT UP FOR CRAIG GASS.
♪♪♪♪
♪♪♪♪
♪♪ DON'T YOU SEE NO EVIL ♪♪
>> THANK YOU, MEAT LOAF.
I'M A BIG FAN.
AND I LOVED YOU IN -- THE MOVIE
"MISERY."
LOOK AT THIS DAIS.
IT'S A VIRTUAL WHO GIVES A
[ EXPLETIVE ]
ABOUT ENTERTAINMENT.
THERE IS MORE OLD SAGGY BALLS ON
THIS DAIS THAN THERE ARE ON ROB
HALFORD'S CHIN RIGHT NOW.
THAT'S RIGHT.
ASK YOUR METAL HEAD FRIENDS.
BUT I AM GOING TO TILL YOU
SOMETHING, YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF
MUSIC THAT CAME FROM THE '80s.
BUT FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW
THERE WAS A LOT OF GREAT
[ EXPLETIVE ]
MUSIC THAT CAME OUT OF THE 80s.
RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
WITH A LOT OF GREAT BAND.
AND THAT EVERYBODY LOVED.
AND NONE OF THEM ARE HERE ON
THIS DAIS HERE TONIGHT.
SOME WHERE IN AMERICA THERE IS A
COUNTY FAIR WITH AN EMPTY STAGE.
SORRY.
SORRY.
SORRY.
I HAD TO SAY IT.
HOW DARE ANY YOU MAKE FUN OF
THIS GREAT MAN.
MY FRIEND.
DEE SNIDER.
ONE OF MOST POWERFUL VOICESEN
-- IN ALL OF ROCK 'N' ROLL.
GRANTED HE PUT OUT AN ALBUM,
STAY HUNGRY AND THE BAND GOT
[ EXPLETIVE ]
BLOATED AFTERWARD.
HOW DARE ANY OF YOU MAKE FUN OF
THIS GREAT MAN.
SCOTT IAN, YOU
[ EXPLETIVE ]
MIDGET.
ANTHRAX.
WHAT A GREAT NAME FOR A BAND
THAT MAKES PEOPLE
[ EXPLETIVE ]
SICK.
WHEN SOME ONE COMES TO YOUR
HOUSE, SAYS HEY, MAN I BROUGHT
SOME ANTHRAX WITH ME.
YOU HOPE THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT
THE
[ EXPLETIVE ]
DISEASE.
MICK FOLEY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
HERE TONIGHT.
HE -- OUT.
[ EXPLETIVE ]
HIM.
I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH A
GUY THAT WRESTLES DUDE FOR A
LIVING.
I WOULD RATHER HANG OUT WITH JIM
NORTON WHO WRESTLING DUDE FOR
FUN.
THERE ARE SOME DANGEROUS PEOPLE
ON THIS DAIS.
I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THAT MOSTLY
EVERYBODY HERE HAS DROPPED ACID
OR IN THE CASE OF JIM NORTON
LOOKS LIKE HE POURED SPLIT ON
HIS HEAD.
OR EDDIE TRUNK HAS BEEN DROPPING
ANTACID FOR 20 YEARS.
JIM FLORENTINE,
[ EXPLETIVE ]
YOU.
JIM DOES IMPRESSIONS TOO.
I DON'TF YOU ARE AWARE OF
THAT.
ON THAT METAL SHOW, HE GIVES AN
IMPRESSION OF A GUY WHO GIVES A
[ EXPLETIVE ]
OF WHAT EDDIE TRUNK HAS TO SAY.
>> VERY GOOD.
>> EDDIE, I'M GOING TO GO EASY
ON YOU TONIGHT.
I KNOW YOU ARE, YOU ARE GOING
THROUGH A TOUGH TIME.
FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW, THEY
STOPPED MAKING TWINKIES.
PENN JIMMETTE, YOU.
[ EXPLETIVE ]
CREEP.
>> I AM.
>> PENN, I, I -- I KNOW YOU ARE
A MAGICIAN.
AND I GUESS -- IT IS A MAGIC
TRICK TO GET ON "CELEBRITY
APPRENTICE" WHEN YOU ARE'A
CELEBRITY.
I KNOW YOU ARE A MASTER
ILLUSIONIST.
WE ALL SAW YOU FIRST 15 MINUTES
OF THIS SHOW MAKINGLAUGH --
LAUGHTER DISAPPEAR IN THE ROOM.
PENN, YOU ARE.
[ EXPLETIVE ]
WITH A ROCK GOD.
AND YOU ARE AN ATHEIST.
>> I AM.
>> THAT'S RIGHT FOR THOSE WHO
DON'T KNOW.
ETTE IS AN ATHEIST.
WHICH MEANS HE DOESN'T BELIEVE
IN -- LOSING WEIGHT.
ZAKK WYLDE, I'M.
[ EXPLETIVE ]
SCARED OF YOU, MAN I AM
[ EXPLETIVE ]
SCARED OF YOU.
SUNS OF ANARCHY CALLE -- SONS
OF ANARCHY CALLED.
THEY WANT YOU BACK AT THE
CLUBHOUSE.
ZAKK, I -- YOU KNOW, I SAW AN
INTERVIEW WITH YOU RECENTLY
WHERE YOU SAID THAT, YOU WERE
TKING ABOUT YOUR NEXT ALBUM.
NEXT ALBUM IS A DEPARTURE, WHICH
MADE ME LAUGH.
I THOUGHT THAT IS NOT A
DEPARTURE.
A DEPARTURE IS WHEN OZZIE
OSBORNE SAYS GET THE
[ EXPLETIVE ]
OUT OF MY BAND.
LITA FORD, YOU ARE A HOT
[ EXPLETIVE ]
[ EXPLETIVE ]
WHAT ANYONE HERE IS SAYING, YOU
ARE
[ EXPLETIVE ]
HOT.
LITA FORD!
LITA FORD
[ EXPLETIVE ]
A LOT OF FAMOUS DUDE IN THE
'80s.
YOU WOULD THINK ONE OF THEM
WOULD HAVE HELPED YOU WITH YOUR
CAREER.
LITA WAS ACTUALLY ENGAGED TO
TONY AOMI, NOW WE KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED TO HIS MISSING FINGERS.
RONNIE JAMES' DEAL LASTED LONGER
WITH TONY AOMI THAN LITA DID AND
THEY MADE A BETTER RECORD.
BUT LITA, THE THING I ALWAYS
FUND THAT WAS INTERESTING ABOUT
HER IS THAT -- SHE IS STILL THE
ONLY WOMAN IN METAL.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WOW.
YOU LITERALLY OPENED THE DOOR
FOR NOBODY.
AT ONE TIME LITA FORD WAS
MANAGED BY THE ONE AND ONLY
SHARON OSBORNE.
AND, NOT, NOT, NOT THE LOVABLE,
SKINNY, REALITY SHOW, SHARON
OSBORNE THAT YOU ALL KNOW AT
HOME.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT FAT
SLOPPY
[ EXPLETIVE ]
FROM 1984.
AND ANY OF YOU ARE GOING TO TRY
TO GET ON THIS STAGE AND MAKE
FUN OF THIS GREAT FAN, THIS
POWERFUL VOCALIST, YOU ARE GOING
TO
[ EXPLETIVE ]
WITH ONE OF THE GREATS, IS HE
UGLY?
YEAH, HE IS
[ EXPLETIVE ]
HIDEOUS.
BUT HE HAS GOT TALENT!
AND HE'S GOT STAGE PRESENCE!
DOES HE LOOK LIKE ROCKY DENNIS?
YES, HE DOES.
BUT WHO ARE ANY OF YOU TO JUDGE
THIS GREAT MAN?
YOU KNOW THAT -- DEE AND HIS
BROTHERS USED TO TERRORIZE
BALDWIN LONG ISLAND.
IT'S TRUE, BALDWIN, THE SNIDER
BROTHERS.
LIKE GILBERT GOTTFRIED.
I WILL DO GILBERT GOTTFRIED.
THE SNIDER BROTHERS, TERRORIZING
LONG ISLAND!
EACH ONE OF THEM UGLIER THAN THE
LAST!
ONE OF THEM SO UGLY HE DIDN'T
EVEN HAVE A FACE.
THEY TORE HIS FACE OFF.
AND HE JUST HAD A GIANT
[ EXPLETIVE ]
FOR A FACE.
[ EXPLETIVE ]
FACE THEY CALLED HIM.
DUMB, DEE, AND
[ EXPLETIVE ]
FACE.
TERRORIZING LONG ISLAND.
THEY WOULD SAY, YOU KNOW, DEE, I
COULD HANDLE DUMB, MAYBE.
BUT WATCH OUT FOR
[ EXPLETIVE ]
FACE.
DON'T LET HIM BREATHE ON YOU.
[ EXPLETIVE ]
FACE WITH HIS
[ EXPLETIVE ]
BREATH, TERRORIZING LONG ISLAND
UNTIL ONE DAY THE LOCAL PEOPLE
ON BALDWIN, LONG ISLAND, SAID
THEY GRABBED THEIR PITCH FORKS.
WHEN THEY USED THEIR TORCHES,
[ EXPLETIVE ]
FACE WOULD FART AND BLOW THEM
UP.
THEY GRABBED THEIR TORCHES AND
SAID, NO!
WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT!
WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT,
[ EXPLETIVE ]
FACE.
I WALKED INTO YOUR DRESSING
ROOM, 15 YEARS AGO, IN SEATTLE
WASHINGTON AT A CLUB CALLED THE
BALLARD FIREHOUSE.
I SNUCK IN.
I SAID, DEE, MY NAME IS CRAIG
GASS, I'M A COMEDIAN.
INSTEAD OF SAYING, GET THE
[ EXPLETIVE ]
OUT OF MY DRESSING ROOM.
HE SAID I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
I LISTEN TO YOU ON HOWARD STERN.