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female announcer: LAST SEASON
ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
[cheering]
[dogs yapping]
- HEY, HEY.
- [laughs]
[cheering]
- I'M LOVING THE SUNGLASSES. - $25,000.
- INSANE. - THAT'S RIGHT.
- IT'S A TOUGH LIFE, BUT SOMEBODY'S GOT TO DO IT.
- BIG HANDS, BIG FEET, BIG DISAPPOINTMENT.
- BEVERLY HILLS, DARLING. SHE, SHE, SHE, SHE, SHE.
- WE'RE OFFICIALLY ENGAGED.
- [laughs]
[orchestral music]
♪ ♪
- WE'VE GOT A NEW MAN. WHERE IS HE?
- HI.
- IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME THAT MY SISTER SAY, "I LIKE HIM."
- BLECH.
- THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I CHOSE,
TO LOSE THREE OF MY KIDS.
- SHE SOUNDED LIKE SHE WAS INTOXICATED.
- AND IF YOU 'FESS UP AND JUST SAY, "I MISSED MY FLIGHT"--
- THERE'S NO NEED TO 'FESS UP' WITH, MAURICE.
I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.
I COULDN'T LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR ANYMORE.
- BRANDI. - NICE TO MEET YOU.
- IF YOU HAVE A BROKEN LEG,
WOULD YOU REALLY PUT A STILETTO WITH IT?
- IF YOU GIVE OFF, LIKE, BITCHINESS,
YOU'RE GETTING IT BACK.
AND I'M PRETTY GOOD AT BEING A ***.
- BRANDI, I SWEAR, GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY HUSBAND.
DO I HAVE TO COME OVER THERE?
- THIS IS DANGEROUS. I SWEAR TO GOD--
- JUST DON'T INTERFERE WITH MY BUSINESS.
- I DON'T KNOW WHO'S MY FRIEND. MAYBE NOBODY IS.
- TAYLOR, DON'T [bleep] WITH ME LIKE THAT.
I DON'T LIKE THAT, OKAY?
- IF YOU CAN'T BE MY FRIEND,
JUST PLEASE, DON'T BE MY ENEMY.
- YOU NEED TO BE HONEST.
'CAUSE THAT'S NOT COOL.
- FRIENDS DON'T SUE FRIENDS.
- TAYLOR IS IN A SUITCASE!
- I WANNA GO HOME.
- YOU'RE HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
- YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE'S DONE TO ME.
- STOP! STOP, STOP!
- AT LEAST I DON'T DO CRYSTAL ***
IN THE BATHROOM ALL NIGHT LONG, ***.
- YOU WATCH YOUR [bleep] STEP. - WATCH YOUR [bleep] MOUTH.
- YOU'RE A *** PIG.
- I WILL [bleep] KILL YOU.
- ENOUGH!
[upbeat music]
- LIFE ISN'T ALL DIAMONDS AND ROSE,
BUT IT SHOULD BE.
- MONEY DOESN'T GIVE YOU CLASS.
IT JUST GIVES YOU MONEY.
- KNOW YOUR FRIENDS.
SHOW YOUR ENEMIES THE DOOR.
- I FOUGHT TOO HARD
FOR THIS ZIP CODE TO GO HOME NOW.
- I LIKE TO HAVE FUN,
BUT I DON'T PLAY GAMES.
- LIFE IS A JOURNEY,
AND I'M FINDING MYSELF EVERY DAY.
- I'M BORN AND RAISED IN BEVERLY HILLS.
THIS IS MY TOWN.
- I'VE MOVED HOUSE.
IT'S JUST AROUND THE CORNER FROM MY OLD HOUSE.
MISS MALOOF ISN'T ACROSS THE ROAD.
GOOD BOY.
[doorbell rings]
- LISA. MRS. VANDERPUMP.
- HELLO.
- HELLO. - HEY.
HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
- OH, GOOD LORD, LOOK AT YOU. YOU KNOW I HAVE A PREREQUISITE.
- I HAVE TO TAKE MY SHOES OFF? - IF WE'RE TO BE FRIENDS,
YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF, GO DOWN ON YOUR KNEES, AND--
both: GAIN 20 POUNDS. [laughing]
- I WANTED TO BE THE FIRST ONE TO SEE LISA'S HOUSE.
BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M THE CLOSEST
WITH HER RIGHT NOW, AND I'M A LITTLE COMPETITIVE,
AND I'M, LIKE-- YOU KNOW, I WANT TO--
I'M A RACER, I'M IN A RACE, AND I WANT TO WIN.
OH, THIS IS FOR YOU.
- OH. - BUT I NEED KEN TO BE HERE.
SHOW ME, SHOW ME. I WANT TO SEE.
- OH, YOU DO? - IT'S AMAZING.
- WE'LL OPEN THIS IN A SECOND. YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE.
I THINK I WAS RETICENT TO BE FRIENDS WITH BRANDI AT FIRST,
BECAUSE I KNEW SHE HAD CONNECTIONS WITH CEDRIC.
I DON'T THINK I GAVE HER A FAIR SHOT.
I'M HONEST WITH THAT.
SO I'VE DONE--
GONE FOR A REAL KIND OF OPEN PLAN.
YOU KNOW ROSIA, BRANDI?
- I DO.
- YEAH, YEAH, YOU'VE MET HER BEFORE.
- HI. NICE TO SEE YOU.
- THIS KITCHEN IS SO-- - KIND OF, LIKE, REAL OPEN PLAN.
I'VE JUST KIND OF EXTENDED IT FROM THERE TO THERE.
AND THEN IT'S GOT A POOL TABLE.
- THIS IS LIKE THE BACHELOR ROOM, KIND OF, RIGHT?
- YES. - IT'S A LITTLE SEXY,
WITH THE DARKER COLORS, NOT SO MANY DIAMONDS.
- I'M JUST LOVING THIS NEW HOUSE.
WE WANTED SOMETHING MORE OPEN PLAN,
WHERE WE COULD ACTUALLY FIND EACH OTHER.
DARLING?
KEN?
- YEAH? - WHERE ARE YOU?
IT'S VERY TRANQUIL HERE, AND, UM, NO NEIGHBORS.
- SHOULD I DROP MY PURSE HERE?
- DO YOU-- DO YOU WANT TO SEE UPSTAIRS?
- YES, ARE YOU KIDDING? THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. - TO GO INTO YOUR BEDROOM.
- BUT WITH ME, NOT MY HUSBAND.
- I KNOW.
MY FRIENDSHIP WITH LISA SINCE HAWAII,
WE'VE REALLY BONDED.
YOU KNOW, WE STARTED HAVING LUNCHES,
AND THEN LUNCHES TURNED INTO DINNERS,
AND THEN DINNERS TURNED INTO SLEEPOVERS,
AND THEN-- JUST KIDDING.
- WELL, THERE'S A GUEST BEDROOM THERE,
A GYM, AND ANOTHER BEDROOM, AND A TERRACE.
THAT'S KEN'S CLOSET THERE.
[both laughing]
- WOW, I LOVE ALL THE COLOR. - STOP SNIFFING HIS UNDERWEAR.
- HE DOESN'T CARE THAT YOU HAVE, LIKE, AN ALL-PINK ROOM?
- NO, HE'S VERY SECURE.
- WITH HIS MANHOOD.
- YOU LEAVE HIS MANHOOD OUT OF THIS.
- I-I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK OF IT.
- WE'LL NOT TALK ABOUT MY HUSBAND'S MANHOOD, OKAY?
- [bleep] YOU.
- [laughs] I DO LOVE IT.
- I'M SO JEALOUS RIGHT NOW.
- ARE YOU--NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE JEALOUS.
- NO, I THOUGHT THAT WAS A MIRROR.
- NO. - IT GOES INTO YOUR BATH--
I CAN BE JEALOUS IF I WANT TO BE.
MY WHOLE HOUSE IS THE SIZE OF YOUR CLOSET AND BATHROOM.
THIS IS SO PRETTY. OH, MY GOSH.
- HI. - HI.
HONEY, YOU'RE HOME.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? - I THOUGHT YOU'D ARRIVE.
BRANDI'S VERY HONEST.
SHE SAYS SHE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH KEN.
KEN'S VERY HONEST.
HE SAYS HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME.
I'M VERY HONEST.
I SAY I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH NOBODY.
- THIS ONE IS FOR KEN. - OH, MY GOD.
- ME? - YES, MY BOYF--
I MEAN, MY FRIEND.
YOU NEED THAT TO GET TO THIS.
- WHAT IS THIS?
- OH, YES. - SUPER STRAP?
- YOU PUT IT OVER YOUR MATTRESS.
- I SLIP AND SLIDE?
- YOU PUT IT OVER YOUR MATTRESS.
- WHO AM I GOING TO SLIP AND SLIDE WITH?
- KEN. AFTER YOU DO A SHOT OF TEQUILA.
- WHAT IS THAT? both: TEQUILA.
- TEQUILA GUN. - OH, YOU'RE VERY SWEET.
- PUT IT IN YOUR LITTLE, LIKE, THAT MAN BAR DOWNSTAIRS.
RUBBER SHEET, TEQUILA GUN.
NORMAL TUESDAY NIGHT FOR THE VANDERPUMPS.
KEY WORD PUMP.
- I WAS WORRIED WHEN IT SAID "SUPER STRAP."
[both laughing]
- I THINK-- I THINK I'LL GO DOWNSTAIRS.
- IT'S LIKE WE HAVE A LITTLE SISTERLY BOND,
AND WE BOTH HAVE, LIKE, DIRTY MINDS.
- THANK YOU FOR MY SLIP AND SLIDE.
- YOU'RE WELCOME. SO WHAT'S THE--
VILLA BLANCA'S THE THIRD ANNIVERSARY PARTY.
- YEAH. WE'VE BEEN OPEN THREE YEARS.
IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, JUST ONCE A YEAR,
WE HAVE A FEW PEOPLE TOGETHER, HAVE A DRINK.
- IS EVERYONE COMING?
- YEAH. EVERYBODY'S COMING.
- ADRIENNE?
- UM, NO, I DIDN'T INVITE HER.
NO.
I WAS VERY HURT BY WHAT WENT DOWN WITH ADRIENNE.
IT TAKES A LOT TO *** ME OFF, BUT SHE MANAGED IT.
- YOU'VE NEVER SOLD A STORY? - TO THE TABLOIDS?
- YEAH. - I'VE NEVER SOLD A STORY...
- I DON'T BELIEVE THAT FOR A MINUTE.
- IN MY LIFE,
AND I WON'T BE ACCUSED OF THAT.
I THINK THAT'S SUCH A [bleep] INSULT.
IF SHE WANTS TO EVER OPEN A CONVERSATION
WITH AN APOLOGY,
THEN SHE'LL HAVE ME AS AN AUDIENCE.
UNTIL THEN, I'M NOT INTERESTED, TO BE HONEST.
SO, THAT'S IT.
- WELL, DON'T YOU THINK THE OTHER GIRLS
ARE GOING TO TELL HER ABOUT THE PARTY?
- OH, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.
WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING ANGST ABOUT IT?
- WELL, YOU'RE A BETTER PERSON THAN ME.
- NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
MAYBE I'M JUST OLDER THAN YOU. OLDER AND WISER.
- WELL, YOU'RE DEFINITELY OLDER. [laughs]
- [laughs]
OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- LIFE HAS BEEN VERY HECTIC LATELY.
MY SISTER KIM GOT OUT OF REHAB,
AND WE REALLY HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REBUILD OUR RELATIONSHIP.
SOME DAYS, IT'S EASY.
SOME DAYS, NOT SO MUCH.
- HONEY.
I'M HOME.
- HI, HONEY. - HONEY?
- I'M GETTING READY, 'CAUSE WE HAVE DINNER
WITH FRANCISCO AND DEBRA.
- CAN YOU COME DOWN FOR A SECOND?
SOMEBODY, LIKE, DESTROYED OUR FRONT LAWN.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I WAS JUST OUTSIDE.
[gasps] - [chuckles]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- IT'S THE ONE YOU LIKED, SO WE JUST--
- OH... - WHEN WE WERE WINDOW SHOPPING.
- MY...GOD.
WAIT, IS THAT MINE?
OBVIOUSLY, IT HAS A BOW ON IT, IT'S MINE, RIGHT?
OH, MY GOD.
- CONGRATULATIONS. - THANK YOU.
OH, MY GOD.
- THAT'S THE ONE. - I'M SO EXCITED.
THANK YOU.
- DON'T YOU LOVE IT?
- OH, MY GOD. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
MY HUSBAND KNEW THAT I WANTED THIS CAR
FOR QUITE SOME TIME,
SO I HAD BEEN DOING MAJOR HINTING.
- SO HOT. - WAIT, I WANT TO HEAR.
- IT'S A LITTLE TOO MASCULINE.
I MAY NOT LET YOU KEEP IT.
- OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS NOT MASCULINE, HONEY. THIS IS SEXY.
I'VE DONE THE MOMMY CAR THING FOR A LONG TIME,
SO MAYBE IT'S TIME TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, AUSTIN.
[engine revving]
WHOO-HOO!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- LIFE'S BEEN GREAT.
PAUL AND I ARE BUSY WITH OUR CAREERS.
MY CHILDREN ARE BEAUTIFUL AND HEALTHY.
I'M VERY LUCKY.
- THANK YOU, MY FRIEND. - THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- YOU WANT TO ORDER NOW, OR YOU WANT TO WAIT?
- SHOULD WE DO IT? - GO AHEAD, THEN, IF YOU--
- HE KNOWS WHAT I WANT.
- [indistinct] WITH SPAGHETTI.
- LET'S CLOCK HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR HIM TO ORDER.
- NO, NO. THIS'LL BE QUICK.
WATCH, IT'S QUICK. YOU READY?
I'LL HAVE THE, UM, TRICOLORE.
- YES, SIR.
- AND I'M GOING TO HAVE THAT SPELT.
- SPELT SPAGHETTI.
- HOWEVER, THE SAUCE-- GIACOMINO GAVE ME, LAST TIME...
- HERE IT GOES. - AT THE OTHER RESTAURANT,
SOME, UM-- IT WAS A VERY HEALTHY SAUCE.
IT WAS NOT ARRABBIATA. IT WAS SOMETHING.
- WAS IT WHITE OR RED? - FRESH TOMATOES, GARLIC, BASIL?
- YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M GOING TO HAVE THE ARRABBIATA.
- THE ARRABBIATA. THAT'S PRETTY HEALTHY.
- THAT'S NICE AND SPICY. - THAT'S NOT SO BAD.
- I'LL HAVE THE ARRABBIATA. - YEAH.
WONDERFUL. THANK YOU.
[phone ringing]
- IS YOUR PHONE RINGING?
- HEY, TAYLOR.
HOW-- HOW ARE YOU DOING?
WELL, I'M ACTUALLY HAVING DINNER WITH PAUL.
- WHY DON'T YOU PUT HER ON SPEAKER?
- CAN I PUT YOU ON SPEAKER? HE WANTS TO SAY HI.
- HI, TAYLOR.
- HI, PAUL.
WELL, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT HAVING A ROMANTIC DINNER?
- OH, YES, WE ARE HAVING A VERY ROMANT--
IT'S A DINNER OF LOVE.
- [laughs] I DON'T WANT TO KEEP YOU.
I WANTED TO SEE IF YOU HAVE ANY TIME
TO GO SHOPPING WITH ME THIS WEEK
BECAUSE I GAINED TEN POUNDS, AND NOW I CAN'T SQUEEZE
INTO A SINGLE COCKTAIL DRESS THAT I OWN,
AND WE HAVE THE VILLA BLANCA ANNIVERSARY EVENT COMING UP,
AND I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR.
- IT WAS VERY SHOCKING,
'CAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT LISA'S PARTY.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
I LOOK FORWARD TO IT, AND I MISS YOU.
- I DON'T WANT TO KEEP YOU. - ALL RIGHT, GIRL.
- BYE. - THANKS.
- OKAY, HONEY. - BYE.
THE LAST TIME WE WERE ALL TOGETHER,
IT WAS A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE BETWEEN LISA AND I.
- I DON'T NEED $100. REALLY, ADRIENNE.
- I THINK IT'S MORE LIKE, WHAT, $25,000?
- FOR WHAT? - TO SELL A STORY.
- ABOUT WHAT? - I DON'T KNOW.
YOU WOULD KNOW. I DON'T SELL STORIES.
BUT I HAPPEN TO THINK THAT IT'S A WASTE OF TIME
TO HOLD A GRUDGE. YOU MOVE ON.
THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO.
- VILLA BLANCA ANNIVERSARY PARTY?
- THE ANNIVERSARY PARTY. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
- WELL, SHE'S PROBABLY NOT INVITING US.
- DON'T SAY THAT. THAT'S NOT NICE.
TO NOT BE INVITED IS A LITTLE BIT EMBARRASSING.
AND IF THAT WAS HER INTENTION, THAT'S REALLY [bleep].
announcer: COMING UP...
- FOR HER NOT TO INVITE YOU... - YEAH.
- TO SOMETHING, IT JUST NEVER EVEN CROSSED MY MIND.
- IT'S GETTING TO BE VERY PETTY.
- SO CUTE.
YOU'RE SO CUTE, FLUFFY.
MY NAME IS YOLANDA FOSTER.
I WAS BORN IN A SMALL TOWN CALLED PAPENDRECHT, IN HOLLAND.
AT THE AGE OF 16, I WAS DISCOVERED BY EILEEN FORD.
THE NEXT THING I KNEW, I WAS ON THE RUNWAY
IN PARIS AND MILAN,
AND MY LIFE AS A MODEL STARTED.
- GOOD BOY, FLUFFY.
[makes kissing noises]
GOOD BOY. YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY.
WHEN PEOPLE WALK
INTO THIS HOUSE, THEY'RE LIKE,
"OH, MY GOD. THIS IS INCREDIBLE."
I ACTUALLY DREW AND BUILT EVERY INCH OF THIS HOUSE.
LISA HAS INVITED ME TO GO TO HER ANNIVERSARY PARTY
AT VILLA BLANCA.
FLUFF! OH, YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY.
AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
- I KNOW YOLANDA OSTENSIBLY AS MOHAMED'S EX-WIFE.
OH, I LOVE HIM.
- LOOK AT THIS.
- I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MOHAMED,
MOST IMPORTANTLY, WHO'S SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.
I'M PRETTY CLOSE TO HER CHILDREN, ACTUALLY,
BECAUSE WHEN THEY'RE WITH MOHAMED,
WE OFTEN HAVE LUNCH AND DINNER.
I THINK SHE'S A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH.
- I HAVE THREE CHILDREN.
ANWAR IS 12 YEARS OLD,
BELLA IS 15, AND GIGI'S 17.
I'M CRAZY FOR MY BABIES.
I MEAN, THEY ARE MY LIFE.
MY HUSBAND IS DAVID FOSTER, 16-TIME GRAMMY AWARD WINNER.
HE'S WORKED WITH BARBRA STREISAND,
WHITNEY HOUSTON,
CELINE DION, MICHAEL JACKSON.
- [indistinct] IS GONE. - YEAH.
- AND, UH, HE'S A GENIUS.
HI, MY LOVE. - HI, BABY.
- COFFEE. - OH, NICE.
THANKS, BABE.
- DAVID...
HE ALWAYS LAUGHS ABOUT ME, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
I AM THE MOST ROMANTIC PERSON HE'S EVER MET.
- A LITTLE FLOWER TO BRIGHTEN US UP.
- THANK YOU. - EXACTLY.
- 'CAUSE WE ARE NOT VERY BRIGHT RIGHT NOW.
- I KNOW.
FLOWERS FROM YOUR GARDEN, MY LOVE.
WHEN I MET DAVID, I SAID,
"DON'T BUY ME ANY JEWELRY. JUST WRITE ME LOVE NOTES."
ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD DAY, OR NOT A GOOD DAY?
- UM, ARE WE HAVING A GOOD DAY?
- NO, WE'RE NOT. - WELL, WE'VE DONE--
WE'VE DONE THREE SONGS. THIS IS NUMBER FOUR.
WE HAVE 20 SONGS TO DO.
- BEFORE TUESDAY? - NO, BEFORE TONIGHT.
WELL, FOR SIX YEARS, I'VE BEEN WRITING LOVE LETTERS.
IT'S NOT EASY, BUT IT'S, UM--
IT'S SOMETHING THAT SHE DOESN'T DEMAND,
BUT IT'S SOMETHING THAT SHE COMMANDS.
- BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW HAPPY YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO MAKE
ALL THESE PEOPLE THAT LOVE ANDREA BOCELLI?
- AND VERONICA AND ANDREA ARE GOING TO SING ON A BALCONY.
THEY'RE GOING TO SING A SONG TOGETHER ON A BALCONY.
- OH, THAT'S SO ROMANTIC. - THAT'S CUTE, YEAH.
- WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT NEED, YOU KNOW, ATTENTION,
I JUST GO TO MY BOX WHERE I HAVE, LIKE,
A STACK OF LOVE LETTERS, AND I JUST READ ONE,
AND IT JUST MAKES ME HAPPY.
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A ROMANTIC NIGHT WITH YOUR GIRL?
- YEAH, IF THEY CAN COME. - NO, THEY CAN'T.
ROMANTIC FOR TWO ONLY.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I WOULDN'T GO THE OBNOXIOUS ROUTE WITH ME RIGHT NOW
AFTER ALL...THIS MEANS TO ME.
THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME FOR YOU TO BE MEAN TO ME.
HELLO?
- HI, HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU LOOK SO GOOD. - THANK YOU.
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- HI. - HI, HONEY.
- I LIKE YOUR HAIR. - YOU HUNGRY?
- YES. - I'M STARVING.
- STARVING. - LET'S GO EAT SOMETHING.
- SO I'VE BEEN HOME FROM TREATMENT
FOR A LITTLE OVER A MONTH.
THESE FLOWERS ARE AMAZING.
- THANK YOU.
- MY KIDS WENT WITH ME TO TAKE ME THERE.
I'VE HAD AMAZING SUPPORT THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE.
- WELL, TODAY IS ALL ABOUT YOU. - MM-HMM.
BECAUSE OF KIMBERLY'S PROM, THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL DAY.
SHE'S MY YOUNGEST,
AND I WANT HER TO FEEL THE MOST BEAUTIFUL.
AND I KNOW MY SISTER KATHY HAS BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL DRESSES.
- YOU DEFINITELY WANT TO WEAR WHITE?
- MM, I DON'T KNOW.
I KIND OF WANT TO WEAR BLACK. BLACK OR WHITE.
- SHE'S CHANGED HER MIND, KATHY.
BUT I FIGURED YOU'D HAVE A VARIETY.
- BLACK OR WHITE. - I WORE BLACK.
AND DID YOU ORDER HIS BOUTONNIERE?
- WHAT'S A BOUTONNIERE? - WHAT IS A BOUTONNIERE, KATHY?
- YOU'RE JOKING. - YOU'RE JOKING.
- WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO GET A CORSAGE.
- YEAH, OKAY.
- AND THEN THE BOUTONNIERE IS, LIKE, THE LITTLE--
- OH, THE-- - THE FLOWER THING.
- OKAY, THE FLOWER THING. - RIGHT.
SO WE HAVE TO DO THAT.
- YEAH, I HAVE TO DO THAT NOW.
- HEY, WHAT'S IT CALLED?
- A BOUTONNIERE. - [laughs]
I MEAN, I'VE GOT A BOOT, AND I CAN HEAR.
I'M VERY CLOSE WITH KATHY.
WHEN WE'RE NOT TOGETHER, WE'RE ON THE PHONE.
AND UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T HAVE THAT WITH KYLE RIGHT NOW.
REMEMBER THE PROM THAT I WENT TO WITH DAN?
- YES, I DO.
- THE CAR PULLS UP, AND IT'S...
A PICKUP TRUCK WITH THE CAMPER ON THE BACK.
AND ALL I KEPT THINKING WAS, "HE'S GOING TO TRY
AND GET ME IN THE BACK OF THIS CAMPER."
THAT WAS WHAT WENT THROUGH MY HEAD,
THE WHOLE NIGHT. I WAS SO SCARED.
THEN HE TOOK ME TO THIS PARTY,
AND WE HAD FUN,
AND WE GOT HOME, AND HE KISSED ME.
[gasps]
HE STARTS TO LEAN TOWARDS ME, AND I'M LIKE,
"OH, NO. I NEVER DID THIS BEFORE."
HE PUT HIS TONGUE IN MY MOUTH. IT WAS SO GROSS!
[both laughing]
- OH, WOW. - OKAY.
- OH, MY GOSH.
- MY LITTLE SALON.
- IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
I LOVE, I LOVE, THE FLOWERS ON THIS.
- ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL? - IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
I GUESS I COULD CHANGE FROM BLACK TO WHITE.
- NOW LOOK AT THIS. - ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
SEE, THAT'S WHAT I WANTED. I WANTED AN OPEN BACK.
- I TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU,
I TOLD YOU AUNT KATHY WOULD HELP YOU.
- AND IT HAS THE LITTLE BUILT-IN BRA,
SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANY LITTLE--
- THAT'S AWESOME. - YOU DON'T WEAR ANYTHING.
- THAT'S GREAT.
- LOOK AT THAT COLOR.
- THAT I SEE ON PARIS. - YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHE WORE THE SHORTER VERSION TO MY BIRTHDAY.
- I CAN SEE THAT.
IT'S TOUGH WATCHING YOUR KIDS GROW UP
AND BECOME YOUNG WOMEN AND YOUNG MEN,
BUT I LOVE IT.
both: LET ME SEE.
- TURN SIDEWAYS.
IT IS BEAUTIFUL ON YOU.
WHAT WE COULD DO, EVEN?
WE COULD TAKE IT UP JUST A LITTLE BIT IN FRONT,
AND THEN LEAVE--
- YEAH, THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE PRETTY.
- ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL, THOUGH?
- IT FEELS SO SOFT.
- HELLO? - CAN YOU HELP ME GET UP NOW?
- HELLO? - HELLO.
- HI. - THAT'S MY WORKOUT.
- OH, MY GOD. - HI.
- THAT LOOKS GORGEOUS ON YOU. ARE YOU EXCITED?
- VERY EXCITED.
- OH, MY GOD. LET ME SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS, KIMBERLY. I LOVE THAT.
HI.
- HI, SWEETIE.
- HI, HI. - HI.
- I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY THAT MY SISTER IS SOBER.
ALL OF OUR ARGUMENTS REALLY HAS STEMMED
FROM WHEN SHE WASN'T CLEAN.
NOW, SO HE'S PICKING HER UP? I'M ALWAYS SCARED AT PROM.
- HAVE YOU MET HIM YET? - NO.
- HE'S CUTE, HE'S BIG. HE'S NOT A LITTLE GUY.
HE'S NOT, LIKE, TINY, LIKE KIMBERLY.
- HOW OLD? - 20.
- OOH, THAT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE.
- I KNOW. AND I-I DID TELL YOU AND KATHY,
I FOUND THEM KISSING THE OTHER DAY.
- WHAT'S NEXT? - JUST STOP!
- JUST KEEP YOUR EYE ON THINGS,
AND DON'T GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO BE ALONE.
- EVER. - EVER.
I JUST DON'T SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH KYLE.
WHEN I SAW HER, IT WAS JUST--
IT'S HARD.
- I'M TELLING YOU, THAT'S WHAT-- - THEY DON'T--
- THEY ALL SAY, ON PROM NIGHT.
- I SEE THAT ALL THE TIME IN MOVIES.
- THAT'S WHAT I HEAR. - BUT MY KID'S NOT.
AND I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH--
- YOUR KID HASN'T BEEN TO A PROM YET.
- HE SAID THAT THEY WEREN'T GOING TO DO IT
'TILL THEY'RE MARRIED.
- HMM, THAT'S GOOD. YOU JUST--
- THAT'S WHAT THEY DECIDED.
IN MY SOBRIETY, I NEED TO FORGIVE,
AND I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD.
THE HARDEST PART IS, SOMETIMES, TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY
TO SOMEBODY YOU FEEL HAS WRONGED YOU.
I'M TRYING. I'M TRYING.
- COMING UP...
- HELLO, DARLING.
- IS THAT LITTLE PORTIA? - YEAH.
I'M INVITING YOU OVER TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- HI, KYLE. IT'S BRANDI.
- OH, HEY, BRANDI. HOW ARE YOU?
- YOU GUYS CAN'T HAVE THIS MANY TREATS.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO FOR ME?
CAN YOU DANCE? CAN YOU DANCE?
CAN YOU DANCE?
- OKAY.
[knocks at door]
- HELLO. - HELLO!
- OH, YOU'RE TALL TODAY.
- OH, I'M TALL. LOOK AT YOU.
- YES! I HAVE FLATS.
- OKAY, YOU'RE NOT WEARING THAT DRESS AROUND MY HUSBAND.
- WELL, THAT WAS WHY I BOUGHT IT.
- [laughs] OKAY, PERFECT.
HELLO. WHO ARE THESE?
- THAT IS CHICA, AND THAT IS SUGAR.
- OH, THEY'RE SO SWEET. AND THESE ARE BOTH
FROM THE SHELTER, AREN'T THEY? - YEAH.
WELCOME TO MY HOME.
- ALL RIGHT. - [laughs]
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WEAR ON WEDNESDAY?
- OH, GOD, I HAVEN'T EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
SOMETHING PINK, SO DON'T EVEN GO THERE.
- NO, I WON'T. I THINK I MIGHT WEAR BLACK.
- UM, NO, I DON'T KNOW. JUST A DRE--NOT--
NOTHING TOO DRESSED UP. - I'M NOT SUPER EXCITED ABOUT
SEEING TAYLOR AT THE VILLA BLANCA PARTY.
WHEN'S THE BOOK COME OUT, ANYWAY?
IT'S BEEN, LIKE, A HOT MINUTE. - THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
OKAY? YOU'RE WAY OUT OF YOUR PLACE.
- YOU'VE MADE IT THE WORLD'S BUSINESS!
SO I'M HOPING THAT WE CAN JUST
SAY "HI," AND, LIKE, DO OUR SEPARATE THINGS.
- I HAVEN'T SEEN--
WELL, I'VE SEEN KIM ONCE.
- AND SHE LOOKS GOOD, YOU SAID. [liquid tinkling]
THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. - YEAH.
I THINK SHE'S DOING QUITE WELL.
- KIM AND I DON'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW.
SINCE HAWAII WE HAVEN'T REALLY HAD ANY INTERACTION.
- I THINK THE SISTERS ALWAYS GO BACK AND FORWARDS.
I DON'T HAVE A SISTER, BUT-- - IF MY SISTER LIVED IN TOWN,
I WOULD PROBABLY-- WE ARGUE ENOUGH WHEN SHE'S...
- EXACTLY. - YOU KNOW, AN HOUR AWAY FLIGHT.
- YEAH.
- I'M GLAD YOU DIDN'T BRING GIGGY.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN DRAMA.
AND THEY COULD HAVE MAYBE HAD A THREESOME.
- [laughs] GIGGY'S A ***.
- LET'S MAKE SOME CALLS.
WHO ARE YOU GONNA INVITE TO YOUR PARTY?
- WHAT'S THE NUMBER?
- WHAT'S THE NUMBER?
OKAY, I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO DO IT.
PORTIA IS TURNING FOUR YEARS OLD,
AND SHE WANTS TO BE INVOLVED.
SHE'S REALLY ENJOYING PLANNING THIS BIRTHDAY.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO CALL FIRST?
- [takes big breath] UM, KENNEDY'S MOM.
- KENNEDY'S MOM? [chuckles] OKAY, THAT WOULD BE TAYLOR.
MY GOD, FARRAH'S ALREADY GRADUATED COLLEGE.
ALEXIA'S GONNA BE DRIVING SOON.
SOPHIA'S GRADUATING ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
IT'S ALL FLYING BY WAY TOO QUICKLY FOR ME.
[line ringing]
- HELLO? - WHO IS THIS?
- HI, IT'S TAYLOR. WHO'S THIS?
- THIS IS PORTIA.
- HI, PORTIA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- WE'RE INVITING YOU TO MY-- TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- YOU ARE? - YEAH.
- I AM SO EXCITED. I WILL BE THERE!
- SEE YOU SATURDAY! - OKAY, HONEY.
OKAY, BYE.
- BYE. OKAY.
[dialing number]
[whispering] IT'S AUNT KIM. [line ringing]
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY TO AUNT KIM?
- [whispering] I DON'T KNOW. - WELL, BE THINKING ABOUT IT.
I MEAN, IF YOU'RE GONNA PLAN A PARTY,
YOU'VE GOT TO DO IT RIGHT, PORTIA.
HELLO?
- YOU HAVE REACHED THE SPRINT VOICE MAIL BOX...
- UGH. - OF 3-1-0--
THAT MAILBOX IS FULL. - BIG SHOCK.
JUST BECAUSE KIM IS SOBER DOESN'T MEAN I CAN REACH HER.
STILL UNPREDICTABLE.
- GOOD-BYE. - OH, IT'S SO, SO ANNOYING.
- [laughs]
[line ringing] - KYLE.
- OH.
- HELLO? - HELLO?
- HELLO, THIS IS LISA. WHO'S THAT?
IS THAT LITTLE PORTIA?
- YEAH. - HELLO.
- HELLO, DARLING. - [laughs]
- WHAT DO YOU WANT, LITTLE PORTIA?
- I'M INVITING YOU OVER TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- OH, I WOULD LOVE TO COME--BIRTHDAY PARTY.
NOW, WHEN IS IT?
WHEN IS IT? - 1:00.
- 1:00.
IT'S SATURDAY AT 1-- - I CAN'T WAIT!
- IT'S SATURDAY, 1:00, AT OUR HOUSE.
- OH, HELLO, MOMMY.
SATURDAY, 1:00, AT YOUR HOUSE.
- HI, KYLE. IT'S BRANDI. - I DON'T EVEN WANT--
OH, HEY, BRANDI. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, THANKS. - OKAY.
BRANDI-- - BRANDI, WHY DON'T YOU COME
AND BRING YOUR BOYS?
- I WOULD LOVE TO. - THAT'S NICE.
- THANK YOU VERY-- THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.
KYLE AND I ARE FINE.
WE'VE HAD OUR UPS AND DOWNS, AND OUR CRAZY TIME,
BUT WE ACTUALLY GET ALONG REALLY WELL.
AND I THINK WE'RE FINE. I MEAN, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW.
- OKAY, YOU GUYS. SAY, "WE'LL SEE YOU SATURDAY."
- WE'LL SEE YOU SATURDAY.
- ALL RIGHT, DARLING. I'LL SPEAK TO YOU LATER.
- SAY, "BYE, DARLING."
- TELL PORTIA THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- BYE, DARLING.
- OH, BYE, DARLING. [laughs]
SHE'S SO CUTE!
- THAT IS--
I KIND OF--I THINK I JUST FORCED MYSELF ON HER WHEN I SAID,
"HI, IT'S BRANDI." - NO, YOU DIDN'T.
- I MIGHT HAVE.
- LOOK, SHE'S-- - BUT I-I--
- THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.
IT'S ALL GOOD. LET IT GO, IT'S FINE.
AND IF YOUR BOYS ARE AVAILABLE, THEN TAKE THEM.
WE NEED TO START MENDING SOME BRIDGES HERE.
FOR GOODNESS SAKE.
[beeping]
- BYE, DARLING. - BYE, DARLING.
[laughs] - BYE.
- OH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! - [giggles]
WHY ARE YOU SO DARLING?
- WHY ARE YOU SO DARLING?
WHY ARE YOU SO DARLING? - [laughs]
- IT'S BEEN NINE MONTHS SINCE I LOST RUSSELL.
AT TIMES I DO GET OVERWHELMED
WITH THE SITUATIONS I'VE BEEN LEFT WITH,
LAWSUITS, AND FINANCIAL STRUGGLES.
BUT NOW IT'S JUST ABOUT GETTING UP EVERY DAY
AND PUTTING ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER
AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PICK UP ALL THESE PIECES
AND START A NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE.
HI. - HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. THANK YOU. - GOOD.
I'M IN THE MOOD FOR SOMETHING NEW.
- ALL RIGHT, WE GOT TONS OF THAT.
- ONE THING ADRIENNE AND I CAN ALWAYS
CONNECT ON IS SHOPPING.
WE HAVE, LIKE, SIMILAR TASTE AND IT'LL BE FUN.
SHE'LL GIVE ME HER HONEST OPINION.
- HELLO.
- HEY, YOU. [chuckles]
HERE I AM ON THE BLACK AND GRAY RACK AS ALWAYS.
- OF COURSE, I KNOW. I LOVE BLACK TOO.
HI. - HOW ARE YOU?
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. - YOU LOOK GOOD.
- THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MEET ME.
- TAYLOR SAID SHE HAD GAINED TEN POUNDS.
THOSE TEN POUNDS LOOK TERRIFIC ON HER THOUGH.
- SO HOW'S PAUL?
- UM, HE'S BUSY WITH THE PRACTICE.
HE'S THINKING ABOUT BEING BICOASTAL.
HE MIGHT MOVE PART OF HIS PRACTICE
TO NEW YORK, SO BACK AND FORTH.
- GIVE YOU A REASON TO GO.
- YEAH, TO BE BICOASTAL. - YEAH, EXACTLY.
- BUT OF COURSE, I--YOU KNOW,
I DON'T WANNA LEAVE MY KIDS TOO MUCH, SO--
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
AND PLUS YOU WOULD MISS PAUL, TERRIBLY.
- I WOULD. YOU'RE RIGHT. - [laughs]
- YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.
- I JUST THOUGHT I'D HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT ONE.
- YEAH, YES. THANK YOU, DEAR.
- OKAY, I'M COMING OUT.
OKAY, I CAN'T DECIDE IF LIKE THIS,
OR IF LOOK LIKE MC HAMMER.
- NO WAY. I LIKE THAT.
- [laughs] ARE YOU SURE?
- YES, IT'S ACTUALLY VERY FLATTERING.
- YEAH? - IN THE COLOR.
- AND IT'S DRAWSTRING, SO IT'S FORGIVING.
- LOVE THAT. - OKAY, CHECK--
ON ONE THING. [laughs] - THAT'S A MUST.
- THIS IS CUTE.
- OKAY, I KNOW THAT WE AREN'T LOVING THE CAPRI,
BUT WHAT ABOUT THESE ROLLED UP
FOR RUNNING AROUND WITH KENNEDY?
- I LIKE THAT. - THEY'RE SUPER STRETCHY.
- AND I LIKE THE TOP.
WELL, YOUR LEGS LOOK REALLY TINY
IN THOSE BIG SHOES. - PERFECT.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO LIVE IN THE BIG SHOES.
- [laughs]
JUST LIKE THE BIG PURSES, REMEMBER.
- EXACTLY, THE BIGGER THE PURSE,
THE SMALLER THE BUTT. - YES, YES.
AND THE HIGHER THE HEEL, THE CLOSER TO GOD.
- I'M FEELING A LITTLE AWKWARD
BECAUSE LISA CHOSE NOT TO INVITE ADRIENNE
TO VILLA BLANCA.
AND I FEEL LIKE A BIG JERK
FOR LETTING THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG.
SORRY I HAD TO BE, LIKE,
both: THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS.
- IT'S OKAY. - AND I JUST--
YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN NEIGHBORS FOR SO LONG.
SO FOR HER NOT TO INVITE YOU TO SOMETHING?
IT JUST NEVER EVEN CROSSED MY MIND,
EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE HAD A LITTLE FRICTION OR WHATEVER.
- YEAH, BUT-- - IT JUST SEEMS LIKE
THE LONGEVITY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP,
IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED.
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN JUST GO ACROSS THE STREET
ANYMORE THOUGH, NOW THAT SHE MOVED.
- NO, NO. - IT'S PROBABLY GONNA--
- I THOUGHT WE HAD MOVED ON AND--
AND, UM, APPARENTLY SHE'S STILL UPSET.
TO NOT BE INVITED IS A LITTLE BIT MEAN GIRL-ISH.
AND IT SEEMED PRETTY, UH, FRIVOLOUS
TO GO TO THIS EXTENT.
I DON'T LIKE THIS. THIS ISN'T ME--
I THINK IT'S SUCH A WASTE OF REALLY VALUABLE TIME.
AND IT'S GETTING TO BE VERY PETTY.
AND NOT ONLY ALL MY FRIENDS,
BUT MY FRIENDS' FRIENDS WERE GOING.
SO OF COURSE BEING LEFT OUT IS HURTFUL.
- COMING UP...
- IT'S A SMALL TOWN. - YEAH.
- YOU KNOW EVERYONE. YOU'VE SLEPT WITH EVERYONE.
- WE JUST SLEPT WITH EVERY GUY IN THIS TOWN, INTERESTING.
[cork pops]
- THAT IS SO CUTE.
IF YOU'VE GOT TIME TO SIT AROUND,
THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE.
GET ON EVERYBODY.
YOU'RE, LIKE, ONE OF MY HEAD SERVERS.
COME ON.
I'VE BEEN SO PREOCCUPIED WITH MOVING,
I REALLY HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO SEE ANYBODY LATELY.
BUT IT WOULD BE NICE JUST TO KIND OF
SEE SOME FAMILIAR FACES.
KNOCK IT BACK DOWN IN ONE.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DOWN IT IN ONE, RIGHT?
- OH, JESUS.
- YOU DON'T LOVE THAT? I LOVE THAT.
- OH, YEAH. IT'S HOT THOUGH.
[background chatter]
- THANK YOU. OKAY.
- WOW. BEAUTIFUL DAY.
- [chuckles] - THANK YOU.
WOW, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.
HI. - HELLO!
- LISA, HOW ARE YOU? - YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD TO SEE YOU. - NICE TO SEE YOU.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
- OH, NO, YOU'RE WELCOME.
LET'S GET YOU A DRINK.
- [giggles] THANK YOU.
- AH, HELLO! HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- YOU TOO. - [chuckles]
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR AGES. - I KNOW.
- YOU LOOK WELL. - THANK YOU.
LOOKIN' GOOD. BABY STEPS.
- NO, YOU'VE DONE A BIG STEP.
I'M PROUD OF YOU. - YEAH, THANK YOU.
- KIM WAS THERE, HALLE-BLOODY-LUJAH.
ANYWAY, I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO SOMEBODY.
- OKAY.
- YOLANDA, THIS IS KIM.
- HI, KIM, HOW ARE YOU? - NICE TO MEET YOU.
- SO WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
- JUST WATER-- I'M GOOD RIGHT NOW.
- SOMETHING? ARE YOU OKAY? - I'M GOOD RIGHT NOW.
- YOU STAY CLOSE TO ME, BECAUSE I'M DRINKING WATER TOO.
WE'LL HAVE A WATER PARTY. HOW ABOUT THAT?
- THAT WOULD BE REALLY EXCITING.
- REALLY EXCITING.
DO YOU LIVE IN BEVERLY HILLS, OR WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
- I JUST MOVED BACK, LIKE, HALFWAY IN BETWEEN--
I WAS LIVING OUT IN WESTLAKE. - YEAH.
- IT WAS A LITTLE TOO FAR OUT FOR MY FAMILY,
SO NOW I JUST MOVED A LITTLE BIT CLOSER.
NOT QUITE ALL THE WAY, BUT I GET A LITTLE CLOSER.
YEAH. - YEAH, GOOD.
- THIS IS WATER, RIGHT? - YES.
- THANK YOU. CHEERS, GIRL.
- ALL RIGHTY.
- YOU MUST BE FREEZING.
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
THERE ARE, LIKE, NAKED ANGELS
WITH BIG FEATHERS AND WINGS AND...
I WOULDN'T HAVE EXPECTED ANYTHING LESS.
HELLO! - HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU? HI, YOLANDA.
- THIS IS YOLANDA. - I KNOW YOLANDA.
NO, I KNOW-- I MET HER BEFORE.
- NO. - YEAH, WE'VE MET.
- YEAH. - YEAH, OKAY.
- WE, UH--I MEAN, WE DO LIVE IN THE SAME TOWN.
- I KNOW, RIGHT? - HELLO.
HOW ARE YOU? - HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- YOLANDA.
- YOLANDA, IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU. - THANK YOU.
- UH, REMEMBER ME?
- I-I'M JUST GETTING TO KNOW HER.
- YOU'RE GETTING TO ME, RIGHT? OKAY.
- OH, IT'S SO PRICKLY.
IT'S LIKE KISSING A BROOM. - OH, GIVE ME A KISS.
- YOU LOVE IT. - I DO NOT LOVE IT.
- WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING YOU DON'T
HAVE TO SLEEP WITH HIM.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW I DON'T HAVE TO?
- [laughs]
- I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING TO VILLA BLANCA.
I GUESS THE ONLY THING THAT I'M NOT
LOOKING FORWARD TO IS SEEING BRANDI.
WOW, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL IN RED.
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
- TAYLOR, YOU KNOW YOLANDA?
- HI. WE'VE NEVER OFFICIALLY MET,
BUT IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. - IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
HOW ARE YOU? - NICE TO MEET YOU.
VERY WELL, THANK YOU.
- OH, GOSH.
THANK YOU.
WOW. [laughs]
THIS IS CRAZY, WOW. THIS IS AWESOME.
YOU GUYS SHOULD COME HOME WITH ME.
THAT SOUNDS WEIRD. [laughter]
both: HELLO! - OH, MY GOD.
NOW I REALLY DO FEEL LIKE A DWARF.
OKAY, GREAT. THANK YOU.
YOLANDA, MEET BRANDI. - HI.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU? - NICE TO MEET YOU.
- YOLANDA. NICE TO MEET YOU.
- YOUR EX-HUSBAND IS MOHAMED.
- YES. IT'S A SMALL TOWN.
- YEAH. YOU KNOW EVERYONE.
YOU'VE SLEPT WITH EVERYONE.
IT'S ALL GOOD. IT'S ALL GOOD.
- I WAS SPEECHLESS.
WE JUST SLEPT WITH EVERY GUY IN THIS TOWN,
INTERESTING.
- WHO'S HERE? WHO'S HERE? I'M NERVOUS.
- WHAT ARE YOU NERVOUS ABOUT? - WHY?
- I DON'T KNOW, I'M KINDA NERVOUS TO SEE EVERYONE.
- BRANDI STARTED OFF ON A KIND OF BAD--
IN A BAD PLACE WITH THE OTHER WOMEN,
TO BE HONEST. - AND I'M STILL THERE.
I'M REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT SEEING KIM
AT VILLA BLANCA, BECAUSE SHE STILL
KINDA BLAMES ME FOR ALL OF HER PROBLEMS.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
- "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"
- THEY'RE HER RESPONSIBILITY,
AND I'M NOT GONNA BE A SCAPEGOAT FOR HER.
- ACTUALLY, WE BONDED WHEN--
- WE MADE OUT. - OH.
WE DIDN'T MAKE OUT.
SHE SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT, WHICH GET HER IN TROUBLE.
- WE DID. - SERIOUSLY?
- PORTIA CALLED YOU TEN TIMES YESTERDAY,
TRYING TO REACH YOU. - I SAW.
I DID SEE TWO MISSED CALLS. I CALLED YOU BACK.
- YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID?
SHE KEPT CALLING, CALLING.
AND THEN SHE GOES, "UGH. ANNOYING."
- [chuckles] - I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD."
NO, 'CAUSE 1:00 SATURDAY IS HER BIRTHDAY PARTY.
AND I WANNA GIVE YOU GUYS A HEADS-UP.
AND I KNOW BOTH OF YOU AREN'T
GONNA LIKE THIS, PROBABLY.
INITIALLY, I DID NOT INVITE BRANDI,
JUST BECAUSE YOU GUYS HAVE YOUR ISSUES WITH HER.
AND I DON'T WANT, OBVIOUSLY, ANY PROBLEMS AT PORTIA'S PARTY.
BUT WHEN WE CALLED LISA TO INVITE HER,
I GAVE HER ALL THE INFORMATION ON THE PHONE.
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN BRANDI GOES,
"HI, KYLE. IT'S BRANDI."
AND I REALLY FELT PUT ON THE SPOT.
AND SINCE SHE HAS LITTLE KIDS, I SAID,
"LISTEN, WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH YOUR BOYS
AND WHATEVER?"
BRANDI AND I MADE UP A LONG TIME AGO.
I STILL HEAR LITTLE WHISPERINGS OF THINGS SHE SAYS ABOUT ME.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I ACTUALLY DO ENJOY SEEING HER FACE--
BOTH OF THEM.
- IT'S NOT MY PARTY.
- WELL, OBVIOUSLY WE DON'T WANT PROBLEMS
AT PORTIA'S PARTY, SO--
- WELL, I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO COME ANYWAY.
both: WHY?
- BECAUSE ALL MY KIDS AREN'T TOGETHER ALL THE TIME,
AND SO WE'RE ALL PLANNING ON SPENDING THE WEEKEND TOGETHER.
SO UNLESS MY KIDS--
- TWO HOURS WITH YOU AND YOUR KIDS
TO BE WITH YOUR NIECE AND THEIR COUSINS.
- IF I CAN GET AWAY, BUT I'M NOT GONNA
LEAVE ALL MY KIDS--
- I DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE THEM.
I WANT THEM THERE. IT'S THEIR COUSIN'S BIRTHDAY.
- THEY MAY NOT WANNA COME.
- HAVE YOU MET BRANDI? - HI. YES.
- OH, YEAH, WE'VE ALREADY SAID HELLO.
HI. NICE TO SEE YOU.
- HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? - HI.
- HOW ARE YOU? - HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO SEE YOU. - YOU TOO.
- I'M GONNA GO TALK TO YOLANDA.
I'LL BE BACK. - OKAY.
- I LIKE YOLANDA.
SHE'S GOT A BEAUTIFUL AURA ABOUT HER.
- I DON'T-- I GET IT. I GET IT.
- I'M SORRY. - NO. GOSH, NO. IT'S FINE.
IT'S LIKE, BABY STEPS, BABY STEPS.
- LIKE, INFANTILE STEPS.
- LIKE, I'VE JUST GOTTA-- JUST SWALLOW ME UP NOW.
THIS INCIDENT SPEAKS VOLUMES
ABOUT MY FUTURE WITH KIM, BECAUSE
CLEARLY SHE STILL BLAMES ME
FOR ALL OF HER DRUG AND ALCOHOL ISSUES.
- CALL IT A DAY.
- OH, KIM WENT TO GO LOOK FOR YOLANDA THAT WAY.
SHE'S GONNA BE COMING AROUND THIS WAY.
- MY SISTER KIM'S ON THE HUNT FOR YOU, YOLANDA.
- WHERE IS SHE? - I DON'T KNOW.
SHE'S LIKE, "I WANNA GO TALK TO YOLANDA."
- WE HAD--WE HAD SOME GOOD BONDING TIME.
- YOU DID? - YEAH.
- WHAT SIGN ARE YOU? - CAPRICORN.
- OH, MY GOD!
ANOTHER CAPRICORN! both: FINALLY!
YES! THESE WOMEN ARE ALL VIRGOS.
- NOT US, BUT EVERYBODY ELSE ARE VIRGOS.
- AND WHAT ARE YOU? - I DON'T KNOW WHAT BRANDI IS--
A GEMINI. - GEMINI. YOU?
- CAPRICORN. - OH, LIKE ME? GOOD.
- WHAT DAY? - YOU GO, GIRL.
JANUARY 11TH. - ME--
- OH, NO WAY! - YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
- NO, YOU'RE KIDDING. - WE'RE THE SAME DAY?
- NO WAY. - OH, MY GOD.
- I JUST WENT LOOKING FOR YOU. - YOU KNOW WHAT
I JUST FOUND OUT? - WHAT?
YOU KNOW WHY I JUST ADORE YOU RIGHT AWAY?
- YOU'RE A VIRGO? - NO.
I'M A CAPRICORN, BORN THE SAME DAY AS YOUR SISTER.
- OH, YAY.
NO, I'M JUST JOKING. [laughter]
I DIDN'T-- - SHE'S SUCH A TREAT SOMETIMES.
- WHY, IS THAT NOT GOOD? - NO, IT IS GOOD.
- WE WERE THE ONLY ONES. YOU'RE CAPRICORN.
BRANDI'S A SCORPIO.
SSS! - OOH.
THAT'S WHY SHE SAID I SLEPT WITH EVERYBODY IN THIS TOWN.
I WAS LIKE-- - SHE DID THAT?
- YEAH, BECAUSE I GUESS SCORPIO THEY SAY
IS THE MOST *** SIGN OF THE ZODIAC, RIGHT?
- SHE SAID THAT I SLEPT WITH EVERYBODY IN THIS TOWN?
- WELL, SHE SAID THAT THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL.
- THAT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME. NO, NO, NO!
I TAKE THAT BACK. NOT THAT SHE DID THAT,
THAT SHE WOULD SAY THAT. [laughs]
LET ME CLARIFY THAT.
I JUST MEANT THAT IT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME
SHE WOULD SAY THAT, NOT THAT SHE DID THAT.
- NO, NO, NO, I MEAN, WHICH IS FINE.
BUT SHE SAID THE TOWN IS SO SMALL
THAT YOU KNOW EVERYBODY, YOU KNOW?
SHE'S PROBABLY JOKING. I MEAN, WHATEVER.
[laughter] I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW HER.
- THE TOWN IS SO SMALL IT'S HARD
NOT TO SLEEP WITH EVERYBODY.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? - THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
WELL, I MEAN, NOT FOR ME, LIKE--
- OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
- EVEN IF SHE HAS SLEPT WITH ALL OF BEVERLY HILLS--
AND LISTEN, I DON'T DOUBT IT--
I DON'T KNOW THAT SHE NEEDS TO BE ANNOUNCING IT
AT A VILLA BLANCA ANNIVERSARY PARTY
TO SOMEONE SHE JUST MET.
[indistinct chatter]
- OH, PERFECT.
- THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE.
- I DON'T WANNA INTERRUPT YOU,
BUT YOU HAVE A FLOWER DELIVERY.
- OH, I DO? - YEAH, YEAH.
- FROM WHO? - I DON'T KNOW.
THEY WANNA TELL, SO--
- OOH, A SECRET ADMIRER.
- I WISH. - THEY'RE STUNNING.
I WANNA SHOW YOU. - REALLY?
- I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THEY'RE FROM.
- WHO'S IT FROM? - ISN'T THAT GORGEOUS?
- I DON'T KNOW WHO THEY'RE FROM. I HAVE NO IDEA.
- WHO'S IT FROM? - WHO'S IT FROM?
- ADRIENNE MALOOF...
SENT THESE TO YOU WITH LOTS OF BEST WISHES.
- THANK YOU. THAT'S SO SWEET.
- LET'S FIND OUT WHY--
- A PERSONAL CARD?
- CAN I SEE IT? - NO, A PERSONAL CARD.
WHAT PART OF PERSONAL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
- SHE'S GONNA SAY, "I CAN'T MAKE IT TONIGHT BECAUSE--"
- "BECAUSE I WASN'T INVITED."
I THINK IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN OLIVE BRANCH,
BUT IT LOOKED LIKE THE WHOLE DAMN TREE CAME IN THE ROOM.
- YOU FORGOT TO INVITE HER?
- NO, I DIDN'T.
WE ARE NOT IN A GREAT SPACE, TO BE HONEST.
THE LAST FEW MONTHS, I'LL TELL YOU.
IT'S NOT--
- WOW, YOU GIRLS HAVE A LOT OF DRAMA.
- IT'S KIND OF STRANGE
FOR SOMEBODY TO SEND FLOWERS TO AN EVENT
THEY'RE NOT INVITED TO.
- COMING UP...
- YOU WERE SAYING YOU DON'T WANNA COME MAYBE
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA BE WITH YOUR KIDS?
- I'M NOT SAYING I DON'T WANT TO.
- IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE.
- OH, WELL TELL HER I SAID HI.
[indistinct chatter]
- WELL, IT'S THE BIGGEST FLOWER ARRANGEMENT
I'VE NEVER RECEIVED.
- ARE YOU SURE IT'S FROM THEM? - ABSOLUTELY.
- NO WAY.
- IT'S CALCULATING. IT'S ALL ADRIENNE.
- "ADRIENNE. DEAR KEN AND LISA,
"CONGRATULATIONS ON THE ANNIVERSARY.
WISHING YOU A VERY SPECIAL EVENING,
ADRIENNE." - THAT'S A LIE.
THEY DON'T MEAN THAT. - WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST COME?
- THEY DON'T MEAN THAT. - THEY WEREN'T INVITED.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS "LET ME MAKE SURE
EVERYONE KNOWS WE WEREN'T INVITED,"
OR, "THIS IS REALLY A GESTURE AND I'M REACHING OUT."
I SAW IT COMING IN AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT IS THAT?"
I THOUGHT IT WAS A SHAPE OF AN ANIMAL.
- IT'S LIKE A TURKEY.
IT'S LIKE A THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE FLOAT.
[laughter]
- OH, MY GOD.
OKAY, HELP.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
[laughter]
[indistinct chatter]
- WHAT ABOUT SATURDAY?
ARE YOU GONNA COME OR NOT?
- I WOULD RATHER SAY TO YOU
THAT THERE IS A POSSIBILITY I CAN'T BE THERE NOW
THAN TO SAY TO YOU, "OKAY, I'LL BE THERE," AND NOT SHOW.
- I DON'T GET THE REASON STILL, BUT THAT'S FINE.
YOU'RE SAYING YOU DON'T WANNA COME MAYBE
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA BE WITH YOUR KIDS?
- I'M NOT SAYING I DON'T WANT TO.
- IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE.
I JUST FEEL LIKE BETWEEN KIM AND ME,
THERE TENDS TO BE AN UNDERLYING TENSION.
AND I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S BECAUSE
I HAVE RESENTMENT FROM THINGS
SHE'S DONE IN THE PAST.
- YOU STOLE MY *** HOUSE!
- [bleep] YOU FOR TALKING LIKE THAT!
- IT'S NOT M-ME.
I STARTED SEEING HER DEMEANOR.
I DON'T FEEL LIKE I KNOW HER SO MUCH.
- WELL, IT'S BULL[bleep].
- I'M RIGHT HERE. - IT'S NOT BULL[bleep].
- IT IS BULL[bleep]. - MM-KAY, WELL--
- WHEN I WAS ANGRY WITH KIM, WHEN SHE WAS DRINKING,
SHE WAS ANGRY AT ME AND THE WAY I REACTED TO IT.
BUT NOW THAT SHE'S SOBER, I KIND OF WONDER, LIKE,
WHY DO I STILL FEEL TENSION?
- WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE SOMETIMES
WE'LL JUST NEVER GET BACK TO THE WAY WE WERE.
[sniffles]
- THIS SEASON ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
[exclamations]
- FIND YOUR INNER SEXY!
- AHH. - LET'S GO.
- OH, MY GOD. - VROOM, VROOM, SHABANG!
- AAH! [laughter]
- DON'T DO--
I'M GONNA [bleep] KILL YOU.
WE'RE CRAZY.
- OH, MY GOD.
OH, I LOVE THIS.
- DIMITRI. - YEAH, I KNOW.
- THE SECRET MAN IS OUT AND ABOUT.
- I JUST HAVE NEVER FELT THIS ***.
- WE BETTER GIVE SOME OF THOSE PILLS TO LISA.
- GIVE ME THE WHOLE BAG.
KEN, NO!
WAIT TILL OUR ANNIVERSARY.
KEN!
- [laughs] THIS IS--
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN.
- WHATEVER I SAID 30 YEARS AGO STILL STANDS.
I WILL OBEY YOU.
[laughter]
- DARLING?
YOU NEVER REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT SOMEBODY IS
UNTIL THERE'S JUST A CHANCE
THAT THEY COULD BE TAKEN FROM YOU.
- HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
HE WAS MY EVERYTHING.
YOU WERE THE OTHER WOMAN.
[crying]
I'LL BE FINE. I'M ALWAYS FINE.
[exhales]
- KIM?
BECAUSE OF MY SISTER'S HISTORY,
I'M TERRIFIED AS TO WHAT I MAY FIND.
- I WAS GONNA DIE.
- EVERY TIME MY PHONE RANG IN THE NIGHT
I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA SAY, "YOUR SISTER'S DEAD."
- YOU DON'T SPEAK, YOU DON'T SING.
- REALLY, WE DON'T WANNA SING.
WE DON'T WANT TO BE A PART OF IT.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
WE'RE NOT MAKING AN ALBUM HERE.
- YOU REALLY *** ME OFF, BECAUSE
YOU'RE A REAL [bleep]HOLE.
BUT IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS.
- THAT'S OUR POINT. - THAT'S THE POINT, YOLANDA!
- WHO IS ADRIENNE MALOOF IN THIS WORLD?
- UGH. - SHE'S NOBODY.
- WE JUST HEARD COMMENTS THAT THAT *** MADE,
SO I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE. - WHO?
- YOU JUST CALLED ME A ***. - YOU ARE A ***.
- [bleep] YOU. - YOU'RE A PIECE OF [bleep].
- WELL, SCREW YOU. - PIECE OF [bleep].
- YOU THINK I GET BRANDI TO SPEAK ON MY BEHALF?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- I THINK THAT YOU GET HER WORKED UP.
- CAMILLE IS BEING A TOTAL ***
TRYING TO HUMILIATE ME.
- WHO GIVES A [bleep] ABOUT SETTLING SCORES?
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SOMEBODY'S LIFE HERE.
- YOU NEVER LISTEN.
- HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT LIES AND PETTY GOSSIP
AND BULL[bleep], KEN.
- FRIENDS DO NOT SUE FRIENDS.
WE COULD'VE TAKEN UMBRAGE AGAINST
BERNIE AND YOU FOR WHAT YOU SAID.
- LET ME FINISH MY STATEMENT.
- OH, YOU FINISH YOUR BULL[bleep],
AND THEN WE'LL TALK. - MY BULL[bleep]?
- YOU'RE NOT SUING ME?
- NO. THERE WAS NO LAWSUIT.
- ADRIENNE, YOU'RE FULL OF [bleep] [bleep].
- ADRIENNE, DO YOU SMELL SMOKE?
THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE.
[coughs] - I'M LEAVING.
I'M TAKING THE KIDS. - WE GOTTA GO IN.
- LET'S JUST GO. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT THAT.
- JUST WAIT A MINUTE. - MOVE!
PAUL DOESN'T GET IN THE CAR WITH THE KIDS AND I.
BAD CHOICE.
- PAUL AND ADRIENNE SEPARATED.
- [crying] - ADRIENNE.
- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,
GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.