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So, what are the biblical secrets of a long and happy marriage?
Well firstly you need to recognize that you will fight
often! So, fight well!
now where, you think, did I get that from in the Bible? well
seems to me that you can't talk about marriage in the Bible without going back
to Genesis chapters 1&2
but most of us stop there, and we shouldn't
because if we read on into Genesis 3 we discover
very quickly, that our world is broken, broken because of human sin and sinfulness
and because our world is broken we will fight in marriage
we are told in Genesis chapter 3 verse 16
"to the woman he said 'I will greatly increase your pangs in childbearing
in pain you shall bring forth children, yet your desire shall be for your husband
he shall rule over you'"
It's the first time in the Bible that
notions of one human ruling
over or dominating another come to the surface
and that's what happens in marriage
because both partners in every marriage are human
and because all humans are sinful, we will try
to control, to dominate, and when we do it's the other partners duty
to resist; because of the total depravity or
radical corruption or whatever you want to call it of humankind
of the world in which we live, fighting in marriage is inevitable
without it want us becomes a doormat
but that's where the second part my
little bit of advice comes in, though you'll fight often, fight well!
because any human relationship
if one person wins, both lose.
because the relationship breaks not instantly,
but sooner or later. So, when you fight
make sure you don't win! When you fight make sure that you make peace
again not instantly, but soon
Now, that may or may not
make your list of biblical advice for a long and happy marriage
I hope the rest of this little video will make your list
you see marriage
is a partnership, according to the Bible, where
both get fulfilled and by fulfilled
I mean, just like I mean elsewhere in these podcasts, filled out
filled up, completed. In marriage
both partners get full filled
It's strong, strongly clear in Genesis chapter 2
in verse 18 God notices
that having created one single human being
there is a problem: "it's not good for the man to be alone"
then in
verse 23 the man
finally
recognizes his other half, his partner
"This, at last, he says, is bone of my bones
flesh of my flesh this one shall be called woman
for out man [and there is a pun in the Hebrew as well]
this one was taken." Marriage is a partnership
where both get fulfilled, it's not about the kind of fulfillment that our world talks
so much about
about your every desire
your every wish being met, but it is
about fulfillment, being completed, being filled up
and one of the mechanisms that God has built into the world for this
one of the the means of grace in this world is marriage
the partnership man and woman
completing each other but it's more than that
marriages also spiritual.
You see in marriage, we become, like we do
in many other parts of life, but for the moment let's focus on marriage
we become reflections of the very Godhead
that's what we are called to be, remember in Genesis chapter 1
verse 27
"So God created human kind in his image
in the image of God He created them
male and female he created them."
it's in our relationship, our relationship
of difference and equality
that we reflect the very nature of God
at least the Christian God, who is 3 and 1
in difference and equality
and you see, it's not just you just in Genesis chapter 1 that we find this, its also
at the end of chapter 2
"therefore a man leaves his father mother and clings to his life and they become
one flesh."
its that unity in difference which reflects the nature of God
and which allows us to reach our full potential
thats a Christian theology for a long and happy marriage
May God bless you!
fAmen.