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Mike: Hey, Kevin, how you doing?
Kevin: I don't know.
I just feel like I don't get
enough... thrills in my life,
you know?
Mike: I've got just what you
need.
It's WD Thrillex, for when you
need that full-on adrenaline
rush.
Here, Kevin, try some.
Kevin: Oh, boy.
♪♪
announcer: Your blood pressure
is about to explode.
Because we've got 20 of the most
high octane...
adrenaline pumping,
heart thumping...
"dumbtacular" clips.
With extremely hilarious
commentary from our cast of
panelists.
Bryan: That video alone gave me
a tummy ache and a ***.
announcer: Plus, which thrill
seeker was dumb enough to make
it all the way to number one?
Stay tuned for clues throughout
the show.
Brendon: Oh, my God, he's
bleeding from his back too?
announcer: So get ready...
because truTV presents
"World's Dumbest Thillseekers"
and the action starts...
(screaming)
...now.
Kevin: Holy crap, this is
amazing.
Are there any side effects?
Mike: No, no, ha-ha.
Just watch the show.
Closed Captions Provided by truTV.
announcer: In October, 2012
Austrian daredevil
Felix Baumgartner jumped to
earth from the stratosphere
breaking several records
including greatest freefall
velocity.
This year in England, a wannabe
daredevil is prepping his own
version of the famous
space jump.
Brad: So the English space
program is doing, you know,
good.
woman: I can actually see how
small you are through your
jumpsuit.
Seems like it's chilly.
Billy: Okay, folks, this is
a status check for launch.
Ball inflation.
man: Fully blown.
Billy: Pitch.
man: Pitch look real good.
Billy: Do we have gravity?
man: Roger.
Billy: Gentlemen,
we are a go for launch.
(man screaming)
Billy: We did it, boys.
Kevin: All right.
(screaming)
Jared: Application to the space
program... rejected.
(moaning)
Brendon: Everybody, don't just
do something, stand there.
(screaming)
Jared: At first I thought that
there was a cocker spaniel
giving birth, but then I
realized it was just this guy
screaming like a little ***.
announcer: The man who fell to
Earth is rushed to the hospital
with two broken vertebra.
Amanda: People are so negative.
What about all the vertebrae
he didn't break?
John: Well, you just
missed Earth.
(screaming)
...But you landed on your ***.
High five.
(screaming)
announcer: At the semi-annual
Utah Rampage, a pro-mountain
biker named Cam Zink attempts
the event's most dangerous
course.
man: Yeah, Cam Zink's in the
house!
announcer: It finishes with an
80 degree drop-off that launches
Mr. Zink over a 500 foot deep
canyon.
man: It's been an amazing run so
far, my-- uh.
My adrenaline is pumping, man.
Chris: To an action sports
junkie like me, this was like
POV *** is to other people.
And to me, I also like POV ***
quite a bit.
man: All right, coming up on the
whoa-- on the tough part of the
course here in, whoo!
Yeah, nailed it.
Gilbert: We can just file this
entire thing under things Jews
don't do.
man: All right, here we go with
the big finish.
What's up, guys, and, uh...
All right we got this.
Oh, yeah, yeah...
Oh, yow!
Cam Zink!
(coughing)
Brad: Now see, that looks like
a fun way to die.
Kevin: Hey, Mr. Zink, looks like
you were too heavy.
Maybe you should've been like
Mr. Chromium...
or something 'cause that's...
a lighter atomic weight,
I'll leave.
(laughing)
man: Uh, dude, he's got this,
man.
Look at him, man, he is hot
stuff, look at him.
Oh, go, Cam... oh!
Oh!
Brendon: Oh, wow, this is like
that scene in "ET" except for
there's no magic and everybody
breaks their pelvis.
(man screaming)
man: Yes, he's got this, man.
Mike: I'm so good, I don't even
need this bike at all.
Oh, Cam!
Oh, no, help me, bike.
man: Oh-- oh, no.
man: Oh, my God.
Chris: How are his femurs not
simply a tripod for his skull
right now?
announcer: Amazingly, Cam
suffers only minor bruises
on his heels.
Brendon: What-- his heels?
The guy was wearing heels when
he did this?
Well no wonder he crashed.
man: He's got it, he's go it.
Go Cam!
Ohh... oh.
announcer: Ladies and gentlemen,
we now pause our countdown to
bring you, "Ta Da."
man: Okay, if I could just call
your attention to the center
ring, ladies and gentlemen,
at the wheel of death.
Now our daredevil, Tim, is gonna
attempt a handstand...
Ahh, oh!
Okay, do we have a doctor in the
house tonight?
all: Ta-Da!
announcer: Thrillseekers
live for snow.
man: Whoo!
announcer: Whether they're on
skis...
man: Check it, check it!
announcer: Snowmobiles...
or a sled tied to a pickup
truck.
woman: Whoo, go Gina!
Judy: You know, in rural
Indiana, this counts as a school
bus.
woman: Wanna go faster?
Gina, should we go faster?
Mike: Oh, damn!
That is how you fetch, ***.
Dan: Wish I had a dog that
fetched women.
I got a lot of room in my
basement.
(laughing)
woman: Gina, should we go
faster?
Daisy: I'm sorry, someone has to
say this: "Ror-ror."
(dog barking)
woman: Oh, my God!
(shouting)
Chris: I can't tell if she's
crying or laughing
and that's probably why
I'm a terrible boyfriend.
woman: What happened?
What happened?
Mike: Did a dog hit you?
Is that why your jacket's so
ugly?
Burn.
announcer: The girl and the dog
are uninjured.
man: She hit me so hard,
I crapped all over the place.
In her defense I was already in
the middle of crapping all over
the place.
woman: Should we go faster?
(screaming)
announcer: Coming up...
find out exactly what this guy's
trying to accomplish.
And these thrill seeking
skydivers double their danger.
man: No-no-no-no-no-no!
announcer: Then later...
(whistling)
(barking)
Brendon: Oh, hey, what's that,
boy?
(barking)
The number one clip, you say?
(barking)
What, a guy takes his shirt off?
(barking)
Oh, my God, he's bleeding from
his back too?
(barking)
Come on, let's check it out
then.
(barking)
Hey, dog, are you as high as
I am right now?
announcer: When
"World's Dumbest Thrillseekers"
continues.
announcer: Our countdown
continues at number 17 with this
Polish gymnast practicing
a new move.
Judy: And so a whole new genre
of Polish jokes is born.
commentator: Come on, come on!
Jared: Oh, dude, I see the
problem.
There's a wall there.
commentator: I can flip,
I can flip.
Kevin: It's like my dad always
told me.
Just quit, you're embarrassing
the family.
commentator: This is the one.
Brad: This guy is an inspiration
unless, of course, there's
someone in that building in
which case he's just a noisy
(bleep).
Brendon: And with the steady
hand of Abraham, I perform
this circumcision.
(grunting)
Oh, what the...
Oy vey!
What's all that meshugganah
stuff going on out there?
commentator: Ha, come on!
Here we go!
Forget number one.
Now I have it, now I have it!
Yes... yes, yes!
Ted: I actually thought the
first one was fine.
(grunting)
announcer: High above Mexico,
two experienced skydivers are
recording their double jump.
commentator: Go!
(grunting)
Oh, yeah, yes, yes!
Hang on a second.
Give me your hand.
commentator: Check it out,
check it out.
commentator: I know!
(laughing)
commentator: Amazing.
Daisy: There's way more hand
holding in skydiving than
I thought.
Chris: Hey, man, nice shoe
Bryan: Thank you.
good arch support.
Chris: Oh, I love good arch
support.
Bryan: Arch support's very
important for me 'cause I'm an
athlete and a dancer
in my spare time.
commentator: Let go, let go.
commentator: Yeah, okay, see ya.
(laughing)
man: Amazing, yes!
Amazing!
Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no.
Oh, no, please, please, don't.
Oh, God.
announcer: As if the twisted
chute wasn't bad enough.
man: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no.
(screaming)
No!
(grunting)
Jared: You'd think with the
entire sky to work with, it
would be easy not to fly
straight into your friend's
parachute.
(grunting)
announcer: The skydiver deploys
his backup chute.
man: Oh, thank you, God,
thank you, God, thank you.
announcer: Both thrillseekers
make it safely to the ground.
man: Whoo!
Bryan: Good job on ordering the
mushroom risotto!
Chris: Oh, man, it's delicious.
You should try some!
Bryan: I don't eat carbs!
Chris: Ah, you're gonna change
your mind after this!
Bryan: Maybe a little bit!
Chris: Okay!
Bryan: You make me wanna
break my rules!
announcer: It's time for "How
Not to Ride a Bike off a Truck."
man: Are you scared?
man: Little bit.
You do this.
man: It's already filming,
come on then.
It's for Facebook.
announcer: And now back to the
regularly scheduled countdown.
Now to sunny Florida where
a young man is attempting to win
his high school's coveted
most talented award
by jumping over this pool.
Billy: This is the dark side of
the foreclosure crisis, people.
man: There's Jeremy right over
there.
This'll prove that he is the
most talented at
Fleming Island High School.
Jeremy's so talented he doesn't
need to campaign.
Chris: Me-me-me-me-me, I'm going
to win the most talented.
What, Jeremy's, uh, jumping over
a pool?
Why do I even try?
man: We don't know the exact
distance from ledge to ledge but
we're about to find out.
Jared: Well, I don't think
Olympic long jumpers could make
this jump so I'm kind of
skeptical about Jeremy's
chances.
man: He's praying right now.
commentator: Please dear God,
please, please, please let me
make this jump.
man: Really, for this?
Come on, dude.
man: You're limber,
good to go.
commentator: Yeah, I know.
(coughing)
man: What do you think's gonna
happen?
Mike: There's no way he makes
this.
Sorry, Jeremy.
Also I boinked your sister.
I'm not sorry about that.
man: This is nerve wracking.
man: Three, two...
Kevin: Back off, bro.
I got a system.
man: The moment we've all been
waiting for.
Fleming Island's most talented,
Senior class, 2013.
Here we go.
man: Are you all right?
Jeremy: No.
Judy: He is so talented.
Chris: Right when he hit,
whatever happened in his colon
made that water a little bit
murkier.
announcer: Jeremy didn't wind up
winning most talented but he did
walk away from the pool without
any serious injuries.
Daisy: Aw, he should've entered
in 2012.
The field was empty that year.
announcer: And now
"That's Gonna Leave a Mark."
man: Ow! (bleep) (bleep).
Ow, my God, you see that!
announcer: "That's Gonna Leave
a Mark."
At number 14, our countdown
rolls over to Newcastle,
Australia where a skateboarding
cameraman is about to film his
friend Danny's latest stunt.
man: Okay, this is Danny's run,
and he's gonna be frickin'
awesome.
♪♪
Daisy: Ooh, the camera guy is on
his skateboard too.
I like a clip with an extra
helping of dumb.
commentator: Yeah, check me out!
Whoo!
Ooh... (bleep) (bleep)
Cut...
Jared: Australia just released
a statement saying, "These guys
do not represent us."
man: Check me out, whoo!
(grunting)
(bleep)
Jared: And then the rest of the
world released a statement
saying, "Ehh, they kinda do."
(shouting)
(bleep)
Amanda: Camera guy,
get it together.
Your job is to capture your
friend's failures,
not to join in.
man: Ooh, that (bleep) hurt.
(bleep)
Chris: I'm hungry for pastrami,
how 'bout you guys?
Mike B.: It's like poker, it's
like, I see your shoulder.
And I'm gonna raise you a hip.
Did you see my hip?
Rachel: Serves you right for
stealing that little girl's
skateboard.
You're such a (bleep).
man: Ooh, that (bleep) hurt.
announcer: Coming up...
The continuing saga of dumb
human versus wild bull.
But first...
Amanda: Mirror, mirror, on the
wall, who's the dumbest
thrillseeker of them all?
Mike B.: Now you know I cannot
divulge that type of information
at this point in the show.
But what I can tell you is,
it's a white dude.
He's in Africa and he messin'
with the wrong cat.
Amanda: That sounds so amazing.
And so dumb.
announcer: When "World's Dumbest
Thrillseekers" continues.
announcer: Our countdown
continues in a Canadian mall
where this young man has been
dared to jump three stories into
the shallow pool below.
man: No, dude, no way.
man: I'm gonna do it.
man: There's no way, man,
he's gonna get hurt.
There's no way, dude.
man: Dude, if he does this...
Daisy: Hey, buddy, this isn't
sex, take your socks off.
man: Dude, now's the time, now.
Go, do it!
man: Oh, he's doing it,
he's doing it, Oh, my God.
man: Ow!
Amanda: Whoa, he actually
did it.
That's gotta be the best thing
to happen in a mall since I lost
my virginity.
man: Oh, my God.
Rachel: I wish a man would like
just fall into my life.
man: Ow!
Rachel: Not that *** bag.
man: Oh, my God.
Ted: Even if it hadn't worked,
what a glorious paradise
to die in.
announcer: The thrill seeking
Canuck is soaked but unhurt.
Brendon: Unfortunately, the mall
had to close down for three days
'cause he contaminated the water
with all of his AXE body spray.
man: He's doing it, he's doing
it, Oh, my God.
announcer: Now it's time to
"Flip Out."
commentator: Come on,
you can do it.
You can do it!
Give it gas, go!
Oh, no-no-no-no-no.
No, oh!
(gasping)
This brand new Mercedes.
man: Who's gonna win this?
man: Right here.
man: Whoo!
man: All right, now.
announcer: At a South Carolina
rodeo, members of the crowd
volunteer to play...
"Cowboy Pinball."
Brad: Aw, a rodeo.
Where the smartest mammal is the
one getting ridden.
announcer: Competitors must hold
their ground inside their
circles versus a ticked-off
bull.
Daisy: It's a very efficient way
to get rid of our nation's
idiots.
commentator: Let's do this!
announcer: One brave cowgirl
joins the men in the circle.
man: Yeah, baby!
Rachel: You're like the Hilary
Clinton of hillbilly bull
(bleep).
man: One, two, three.
Bryan: That's exactly what I say
when I take my pants off.
man: Release the beast!
commentator: Whoo, here we go!
man: Back up, back up.
Whoa, Nelly.
Back up!
Here it come again, run.
(shouting)
Heads up, heads up,
Oh, my God.
Don't you worry, little girl.
He won't-- oh, the hell
with this.
man: Oh, my God,
are you all right?
Are you all right?
Mike T.: And just like that
another *** bites the dust.
commentator: Don't you worry,
little girl, he won't come for
us, no, sir.
Oh, the hell with this.
Oh, my God!
woman: What are you trying to
prove, lady?
That ain't gonna get you
a husband.
commentator: That's a mean bull,
son of a ***.
(laughing)
Oh, no, you see what I'm saying.
That's a mean angry bull.
Billy: Who says women aren't as
stupid as men?
Huh?
announcer: The woman suffers
facial fractures
and a broken nose.
commentator: That was just
awful.
How you feeling?
Brendon: Even though that lady
got her face all smashed apart,
she still won the rodeo beauty
contest at the end of the day.
commentator: Oh, my God,
are you all right?
announcer: At number 11 on our
countdown we meet a pint-sized
thrillseeker eager for some air.
man: All right little sister,
here we go, whoo!
(giggling)
Ready to go again?
Whoa!
Billy: Ladies and gentlemen,
that is how honey got her
boo-boo.
woman: Imagine she went through
the window?
That would be hysterical--
I mean awful.
man: Whoa!
Gilbert: I know it's a little
girl getting hurt
but can we see that, uh...
ten more times?
man: Get back up there.
Daisy: You're still my cool big
brother, I love you.
man: Whoo!
announcer: The little girl is
scared but not scarred.
(girl crying)
commentator: And we got white
hat in the lead, white hat in
the lead, pull up the second
hand, pull up the rear in the
black cap, black cap pull up the
rear.
Whoa, whoa... up top,
what's going on?
Here comes black cap,
black cap in the lead.
Oh, he wins it by a kneecap.
What a race, ladies and
gentlemen, what a race.
announcer: Riding into the
number ten slot on our
countdown, these BMXers who are
trying to one-up each other.
Mike T.: It's not just a treat
for the eyes, it's also
enjoyable for the ears as well.
(scraping)
♪♪
man: Holy (bleep) (bleep).
Jared: He ran into that wall
like the road runner had just
painted a tunnel on the
side of it.
man: (bleep) (bleep).
man: Dude, are you all right?
man: (bleep).
man: Dude, are you okay?
(bleep) (bleep) (bleep)
woman: Of course he's not all
right, he's walking up the
street like an extra from
"The Walking Dead."
(groaning)
(bleep) (bleep).
Dan: Uh, who is Joe?
Does he have a degree
in putting heads back together?
(phone ringing)
John: Yeah, what happened?
man: James just smashed his head
into a wall.
man: Holy (bleep) (bleep).
man: Dude, are you okay?
John: Calm down.
It's a 4 B Fix.
Burn the bike, bury your buddy,
all right?
announcer: James walks away with
just a bloody lip
and bruised forehead.
Dan: Hey, can one of you guys
grab my helmet, I-- oh, that's
right.
Never mind, never mind,
I'm good.
man: Oh, (bleep) (bleep).
announcer: When we come back,
one thrillseeker's skateboard
turns into a meat seeking
missile.
Then later...
Mike T.: Madame Veselka,
Tell me about the
number one clip.
Rachel: I see hugging.
Mike T.: Hugging?
Rachel: Yes, and biting.
And, oh, nibbling.
Oh, this is rough stuff
going on.
And now...
Mike T.: What?
Rachel: You must watch rest of
"World's Dumbest" to see
what I saw.
Mike T.: Well, it's still the
best $50 I've ever spent.
Rachel: For another 25 I'll help
you finish.
♪♪
♪♪
Gilbert: Hi, I'm Gilbert
Gottfried and this is what we've
learned so far.
Exercise balls are not good for
your back.
(screaming)
*** and sleds don't mix.
(screaming)
Try to stay on your bike.
Gravity always wins.
So that's what we've
learned so far.
commentator: Hola amigos.
Legend has it that somewhere in
Juarez, Mexico there is
a motorcycle stunt rider who
does stunts so mind boggling
that they've erected shrines
in his honor.
This man you see here popping
a wheelie...
man: Check it out, dudes.
commentator: ...is not that guy.
Chris: He always wanted to be
a beautiful ballerina.
Alas, he was a boy
with a motorcycle.
Gilbert: Hey, you're losing
the crowd.
Do something interesting.
Ted: Welcome to our grand
opening.
After three generations of
sacrifice, we finally have the
taco stand that will take care
of us for the rest...
commentator: Ahh!
woman: Got that?
man: Yeah.
Jared: Everybody help pick this
up, five second rule.
commentator: Where's the
motorcycle guy, dude?
Have you seen him?
Brad: That's what I call
a gordito messo.
I do not speak Spanish.
Billy: The good news is that the
ingredients were smashed
together in a way that led to
the invention of an entirely
new type of burrito.
(shouting)
announcer: Skateboarders are
always finding new more painful
ways to fail.
Whether they're soaring through
the air...
Staying low to the ground...
Or in the case of the next guy
on our countdown, landing
somewhere in between.
man: Ow, ah, ah!
Dude, dude!
Dan: That kid's taint
snapped that skateboard
in half.
I wish I had a taint
half that tough.
man: Ah, ah!
Daisy: He might not be a
***... but he has one now.
man: Dude...
Dude, I'm not fine.
Bryan: Is that a polite way of
saying, my genitals are flat.
Jared: When I was his age we
hurt our genitals experimenting
with ***.
man: Yo, that was
a ball buster, man.
Mike: They're probably gonna
need some kind of special
instrument to fix him.
That how up his nuts he got it.
man: (bleep)
man: I got it on film.
Brendon: Ooh, film.
Were you making,
"Apocalypse Ow, My Balls?"
announcer: The bruised
skateboarder is taken to the ER.
Kevin: Hi, I'm Dr. Kenneth
Grundlemen, taint specialist.
I'm not the greatest doctor,
I'm not the worst.
I'm somewhere in the middle.
man: Ah, ah, dude, dude.
man: Check it out, check it out.
Here we go.
(man laughing)
man: Oh, did you hit your head?
man: Yeah.
announcer: Let's head over to
Russia and meet our next
thrillseeker and the brick wall
that he absolutely, positively
must climb.
commentator: Look at him go.
The little monkey
climbing a wall.
Whoa, be careful, be careful,
it's not good wall.
Billy: You can tell he's a
professional Russian rock
climber, uh, just by his gear.
commentator: Okay, I think
you're gonna make it.
Whoa... (laughing)
I think you're going to make it,
actually.
(man laughing)
Amanda: Jenga, nice work.
commentator: I think you're
going to make it... oh!
(man laughing)
You look like idiot!
(laughing)
Brad: No, no, you stay in the
dumpster and you think about
what you did.
commentator: Are you okay, hey?
Jared: He was just returning
those jean shorts to where they
needed to go.
commentator: Hey, you all right?
You okay?
man: Leave me alone.
commentator: Yes, shake it off,
shake it off.
Gilbert: Hey, I can't climb but
I could always fly away.
Bryan: What a metaphor for life.
Right before you're gonna get to
the top of that wall
your whole world crumbles
and you're cast to the dustbin.
commentator: Come on,
give it another shot.
Climb again, one more time.
man: No, no.
announcer: From insane jumps to
spectacular crashes...
(screaming)
skiing fails typically happen on
the slopes but our next dumb
thrillseeker can't even make it
that far.
commentator: Thank you, thanks.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,
sorry, hang on.
Okay, all right.
And thanks dude...
Jared: This dude is doing some
extreme snow sitting.
commentator: Okay.
Thanks you, thanks, dude,
sorry 'bout before, got it.
No problem, just back off.
It's too much pressure.
Kevin: Dude, I think that big
yellow stop sign is talking
directly to you.
commentator: Okay, yeah, I got
it, I got it, it's cool, I got
it-- yeow.
Hang on, back off.
Sorry, sorry, sorry...
Mike T.: Look, I didn't take
this job 'cause I like working
hard.
Figure it out.
commentator: Okay, yeah, I got
it and... oh, lean forward.
I got it-- no, no problem, no.
Oh, come on.
Hang on, hang on...
Rachel: Hurry up before the snow
melts.
I'm not paying the sitter
overtime.
Chris: Did anyone bring a gun?
No? All right,
I'll be right back.
commentator: Okay, got it, got
it, I made it, I made it, got
it, no-no-no, no, come on.
Brendon: If at first you don't
succeed, try, try again.
And then try again.
commentator: I got it,
I got it, oh.
Brendon: And then try again.
commentator: No problem.
Back off, back off.
Brendon: But then give it up at
some point.
commentator: All right, just
give it to me.
Back off, back off, dude.
Back off.
Mike: Guys, I finally made it up
the mountain.
Ha-- no, please, I was so
close...
(screaming)
announcer: We've got the best
metaphor for a doomed marriage.
(screaming)
announcer: That's coming up
along with reason number one
why there are no bungee
jumping teams.
When we return.
♪♪
announcer: In Russia, a group of
comrades gathers to watch their
friend, Dumb Thrillseeker
number five, bungee jump
off a building.
commentator: You don't have
battery power--
(shouting)
(shouting)
Mike T.: In Russia, the bungee
jumps you!
I love this country.
Brendon: The first rule of
bungee bystander is never grab
the rope,
and the second rule is...
man: Just don't mess up!
(screaming)
Brendon: What are you doing?
I said don't grab the rope.
commentator: Why are you
on my bungee?
commentator: Because you jumped
too soon.
commentator: I didn't jump
too soon.
You make me so angry.
Dan: I wonder why
the camera guy just laughs.
He could still fall and die.
commentator: Don't miss a second
'cause it's important!
announcer: Both men reach the
ground safely.
commentator: You're an idiot.
announcer: It's time for
"World's Dumbest Thrillbillies."
commentator: Hot diggity.
woman: I'm ready.
man: All right, she's ready.
Start her up.
commentator: Go Scooter, whoo!
Oh no, oh no, oh, my God.
(laughing)
commentator: I got it,
check me out, whoo!
Yeah, no-no-no-no-no, no!
commentator: Yeah, do it up, hot
thing, whoo, oh!
(shouting)
man: This is awesome.
(laughing)
(shouting)
commentator: Hell ya, whoo!
announcer: Lovebirds Jonathan
and Karen want to do something
different for their wedding.
With about a dozen close
friends, they take to the sky in
a balloon to say their vows.
(whistling)
John: Yo, Karen, ho!
I used to hit that.
announcer: But a sudden gust of
wind forces the pilot to abort
the ceremony.
He's soon instructing wedding
guests to prepare for a crash
landing.
man: All right,
everybody, hold on.
Brace for impact, everybody.
Brace yourselves, brace.
woman: Brace?
Billy: If anyone knows any
reason why these two should not
be joined in holy matrimony,
speak now because we are about
to crash.
(screaming)
man: No, no, no.
Whoo!
Rachel: So are we gonna throw
the bouquet or is that like not
happening?
Karen: This is our crash and
landing here.
Oh, the house might not be too
happy about that.
Daisy: Okay, this is the most
bull (bleep) destination wedding
I've ever seen.
announcer: One guest is treated
for minor back pains.
Jonathan and Karen are forced to
postpone their nuptials.
commentator: That's a damn
shame.
Come out to get married and end
up crashing in a balloon there.
Ted: Great way to dodge getting
married, Jonathan.
Kevin: Hey, I got you that gravy
boat you wanted.
(rattling)
commentator: I need my hat too,
I can't find it.
Karen: Just follow
the skid marks.
That's where I found my phone.
There's a skid mark.
Mike: The skid marks start where
the balloon touched down
and they end in Jonathan's
underpants.
Daisy: What a way to start
a marriage... on the rocks
and in the hospital.
announcer: At the annual Calgary
Stampede one brave cowboy
prepares to ride the event's
most feared bull.
Bull's name?
Wranglers Rock Star.
Mike: What are you nuts?
That bull is sponsored.
man: If you haven't had enough,
we're gonna open it up for you
one more time.
Ladies and gentlemen--
Mike T.: Damn, is he gonna come
back down?
(screaming)
man: Oh, no.
Dan: That was eight seconds,
hang time.
commentator: Ow, ow, ow,
stay in there, Sam, oh, no...
No, no.
Mike T.: At least there's a
qualified announcer that'll walk
us through this emotionally.
man: That is man hit.
How high can a human body fly?
announcer: Despite being tossed
over 12 feet into the air,
Jeb walks away with no serious
injuries.
man: You okay, Jeb?
Gilbert: Well, at least he
landed in some nice soft
bull (bleep).
man: Oh, no.
No, no.
announcer: Let's take a break
from our countdown and head over
to Brazil for a "World's
Dumbest" Vacation.
Where a man's friends are daring
him to pole vault across
a stream.
commentator: You can do this.
It's not a problem, do it.
Come on, come on.
Rachel: This is the best
vacation ever.
John: I know.
Rachel: Careful where you put
that big stick.
John: Sorry babe.
commentator: Go, go, go!
(laughing)
Rachel: Now there's a tadpole
in my cocktail.
(laughing)
Brendon: Oh, man, cool laugh,
dude.
Remind me to never do anything
funny around you.
(laughing)
(laughing continues)
Rachel: Ow.
announcer: Coming in at number
two on our countdown, it's the
thrillseekers edition of
"Dumb-nastics"
with Jared Logan.
Jared: So what could go wrong
here?
commentator: You ready?
You got it, you got it, whoo!
Jared: These guys swing
both ways.
(shouting)
Jared: Round and round they go.
Why they're doing it,
nobody knows.
commentator: One more time
around, okay.
(laughing)
Jared: My one question is
how do they stop.
commentator: You ready?
man: Yeah.
commentator: And... go!
Jared: Okay, I see.
commentator: And... go.
Mike: All right, ma'am I want
you to take your time.
Do you see the number one clip
in this lineup?
Amanda: I do.
Mike: Are you sure you see the
number one.
Amanda: I'm positive.
I've never seen anything like it
before.
That's it, that's the number one
clip.
(gasping)
Mike: Good God.
announcer: See it for yourself
when "World's Dumbest
Thrillseekers" continues.
♪♪
Mike: Look how sick and twisted
all five of them are.
Are you sure you see
the number one?
Amanda: That's it, that's the
number one clip.
(gasping)
Mike: Good God.
(lion roaring)
Charlie: Going in
inside the cage
in a few minutes.
announcer: Charlie Starmer-Smith
is a British reporter
on a daring assignment
in South Africa.
Charlie: The one thing they just
said to me is, "Don't be scared,
they can sense fear," and I am
quite scared.
announcer: Charlie's mission:
enter the pen with a newly
captured lion just brought in
from the wild.
Jared: Go cover something safer
like a llama farm or
a hurricane.
Charlie: Okay.
John: This guy looks skinny,
hungry.
If I go in and pet a lion,
I wanna be healthy looking.
You know, a little plump.
announcer: But sensing Charlie's
fear, the lion gets agitated.
Gilbert: Careful, he's a hugger.
Judy: Oh, he's playing all
right, he's playing
with his food.
Mike B.: He's like stop that.
Hush.
And the lions like,
"Man would you shut up? "
I am a lion, not no (bleep)
kitty cat.
announcer: The lion finally
makes a leap for Charlie's neck.
(roaring)
Billy: Now don't you feel like
a big silly for being scared?
Brendon: I don't know,
call me a *** but
the first time the lion bites me
I'm out of that cage.
Charlie: Let's go, let's go.
That was amazing, whoo.
Mike T.: Yeah, that was amazing.
I'm gonna start crying like
a baby as soon as you turn
these cameras off.
But for now, whoo,
what an adventure.
announcer: Besides some
scratches, bruises and stitches
to repair his shin, Smith
escaped relatively unharmed.
woman: Oh, my God.
man: How cool is that?
woman: I probably would've taken
a bite of him too.
And I ain't lyin'.
(roaring)
Kevin: This one's for Biggie.
Rachel: It's the best vacation
ever.
Brendon: It was a big
*** scheme.
Billy: Crotch, crotch.
Brad: Goonies.
Daisy: Po-po-po-po-po...
Judy: Hey, there's a reason they
call it a snapper.
(laughing)
Gilbert: Oh, boy.
Kevin: Was that too funny?
Mike T.: It's not funny.
Judy: Can I get some Tang?