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It seems Rihanna and Chris Brown have made a song about their relationship, and called
it, “Nobodies Business.” That’s true. Whatever Rihanna and Chris Brown do together
is nobody’s business…well, except for the record label of course, who hope that
you remember that Chris Brown is on probation for beating Rihanna.
But Chris Brown beating Rihanna is truly nobody’s business. That’s why they wrote a song about
it. Everyone knows the best way to keep things private is to make hit songs about them. Which
is why future planned collaborations include songs like “My ATM Code”, “Stop Buying
Our Music, B*tch,” and “Here’s A Picture of My ***, But Don’t Look At It.”
They just want you to leave them alone, except for the part where they don’t. They want
you to spend money to buy the song, hoping that “Nobodies Business” is everybody’s
business. And, undoubtedly, many women, young and old,
will make it their business. A good percentage of them will listen to the song and realize,
just like Henry Hill in GoodFellas, “everybody takes a beating sometime.” “If Chris Brown
and Rihanna can make it work, so can me and my punchy boyfriend.”
So thanks Chris Brown, and especially you Rihanna for teaching us that when life gives
you lemons, you just keep having sex with those lemons until the world learns you like
it sour and gets off your *** about it.