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>> Nina and Anaar: It is time to talk; it is time to change.
[Music]
>> Nina: Hello, I’m Nina and I have depression.
>> Anaar: Hi, I am Nina’s mum Anaar.
>> Nina: I think the benefits of being able to talk about my mental health
with family and friends and in particular with my Mum, who has been great
it is just feeling less alone. That someone – even if they can’t directly understand
what you are going through, you feel like you are not doing it by yourself.
It is a hard journey from diagnosis to treatment. Everything like that.
So I don’t think anyone should have to do that journey alone.
>> Anaar: In the early days when I first kind of found Nina upset and stuff
I really didn’t understand because there is no family history
either from my side or my husband’s side for depression full stop.
It was very difficult for me to understand why she was feeling the way she was.
And it was a case of feeling really helpless.
And the more she started to talk, which took a long time – because she didn’t want to worry us.
But the more she opened up I then realised
being in the mental health field working myself in the inpatient that,
do you know what - I think it is time to get the treatment.
So it was only through talking that made us aware that things are not quite right.
It wasn’t just the teenage years – not just the hormones. Because I was kind of in denial.
>> Nina: I suppose I was most open with how I was feeling with my brother.
He is a couple of years’ older than me and I would tell him how I was feeling.
And that was one of the ways in which I first realised that maybe how I am feeling isn’t quite normal
although I don’t like using that word.
But it is slightly different to how other people of my age are feeling and how they react to situations.
Erm, and I think also by describing how I feel to him it was a good outlet as well.
>> Anaar: Growing up in an Asian culture like Nina has, she has been one of the lucky ones I would say
because she was liberal – would you not say – to a larger degree.
But in the early days certainly yes, there was a lot of shame
a lot of kind of embarrassment as though we were almost embarrassed to tell friends
say if there was a family gathering for example.
If Nina didn’t feel up to coming she would be put under pressure on some occasions to come.
You know we would say "Oh come on you have got to come; you have got to come."
Or if she didn’t come what would we say to people at the wedding? Why Nina didn’t come. 0:02:41.001,0:02:46.000 So there was a lot of hiding kind of stuff from our point which was very wrong.
But as we have evolved together through this really painful journey we have got a lot closer.
And obviously the family do know about it now. And it is generally more accepted.
>> Nina: I think the person that has changed the most in our family is my Dad.
We had – we didn’t really discuss emotions at home when I was growing up as I say.
But more recently we have been talking about like when I was younger.
And looking back I have been sharing my perspective with him and he has been sharing his perspective with me.
Because we were all in the same boat of not knowing what to do for the best.
So yes, I think talking about it even reflectively now is just a help and it has brought us all closer together.
It has helped people – well it has helped us all understand a lot more about mental illnesses.
So I think it is just important for everyone to talk about them.
[Music]