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The world will forever remember the tragedy of September 25, 2002.
Porsche unveiled the Cayenne on that day, shocking the Paris auto-show crowd with a
five-door SUV so horrid to behold that, after gazing upon it, no fewer than 17 members of
the media were turned to stone.
Nine others were then crushed when the vehicle, which outweighed a family of elephants, hurtled
wildly off the stage.
The company’s reaction has verily defined corporate callousness ever since: Porsche
announced that it was immediately ceasing production of its 911 and destroying all spare
parts for the venerable sports car.
So, that’s not entirely true.
But reactions to Porsche’s first foray outside of sports cars were no less fantastical.
One infamous media gadfly proclaimed that the Cayenne threatened to “destroy the very
soul of the company,” presaging the Supreme Court’s 2010 Citizens United decision by
a good eight years.
The New York Times published a lengthy story in which one 911 owner said: “Every S.U.V.
I’ve seen is driven by some soccer mom on her cellphone.
I hate these people, and that Porsche would throw me into that category made me speechless.”
Our own reaction was only slightly more levelheaded: “It’s either a brilliant marketing scheme
or a sure sign that The End is near.”
Twelve years later, Rapture is still a ways off (we hope), and Porsche is back at it with
the 2015 Macan.
This time, the true disciples of the left-handed key slot will find cause to complain that
Porsche’s smaller crossover is based on the Audi Q5, with which it shares some structure
and a 110.5-inch wheelbase.
Perhaps Porsche Design should work up a pitchfork for the catalog—might be a hot seller.
Or maybe the faithful could just accept that Porsche knows what the hell it’s doing.
Starting with a few common stampings and fleshing out the rest with exclusive Porsche kit, the
company has produced the most-amazing-to-drive crossover ever unleashed on Starbucks drive-thrus.
We’ll get to that fun part of the story shortly.
First, we’ll give those of you who like to complain about the utter lack of affordability
of every car we feature in these pages time to defenestrate your magazine.
If ever you folks were right, it would be now.
The Macan Turbo has a base price of $73,295, while the Macan S, which also happens to be
turbocharged, starts at $50,895.
But the one you see pictured here rings the bell at an almost-completely loaded $104,440.
Yes, Rod Serling himself delivered our test car.