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Cris is in the past. It’s over. Dead. Finished. Forgotten.
It means “Cris”.
It doesn’t. It means “moron”.
How can you be so stupid?
The good thing is that since it’s written in Papuan… I can use it with other girls.
It means “I love you Lucía”
Really? But it’s pretty short.
‘Cause it’s abbreviated, like Papuan txt.
Tattoos? I could tattoo Prison Break’s map on my ***.
Through some kind of mental process, Óscar came up with a new idea to get me laid.
Thing is, I was watching this film and…
What film?
THIS is why my films are a great success.
Gay men get all hot and *** for this.
Some film. That doesn’t matter.
Thing is, why don’t we shoot…?
A *** movie!
He was nuts, of course.
Nuts? Why? You get laid and I get to shoot it.
You always say that I have the looks of Guillermo del Toro, Peter Jackson…
And Santiago Segura, sure, but I meant that you looked as fat as them.
SO, do you want to be the leading actor or you don’t?
Okay, it wasn’t such a bad idea.
He kept it shut and I achieved my purpose. So we started with the casting.
Your resume is impressive.
You’ve taken part in lots of *** films, but…
Sometimes the problem is I do not have enough experience,
sometimes it is I have too much. Nothing pleases you.
We set up a great casting call.
I’d go for the old lady. I see her in the role.
She’s the only one who came to the casting.
Yes. It’s brilliant.
We’ll call it “All About My Mother”.
I can see the poster already. She will be completely soaked in white liquid…
So the shooting began.
Come in.
Do you want your glass of milk, son?
Milk? Come here and milk me.
Dude, I can’t with these lines.
Don’t go all Al Pacino on me.
SAY IT, rip off her gown, *** her from the front, ***.
Then you eat her out. Then *** her from behind…
Not from behind, or else I’ll get hemorrhoids.
I wanted really bad to stick it in, but… not that bad.
What if we change roles?
Do you want her to *** you?
No!
Action!
Son, want some milk?
Come here!
Don’t forget your lines, Óscar. Hey! Watch it, she’s an old la…
Now suck!
Ma’am, don’t take your dentures out, for God’s sake!
I’m sorry, but I’m not good at this.
In fact, since I saw them… I feel sick every time I watch a ***.
And I believe… it has affected Óscar, too.
We’ve been nominated in the Annual *** Awards.
In the Best *** Scene category.
I’m going to make it big!
Hi. Are you by yourself? I’m 19. What about you, sir? I mean… Pal?
I’ve always considered myself too hetero to handle, but damnit…
If it’s either that or kill myself…
Hell no, I’d rather die. My *** is remaining ***.
Subtítulos por Aída Oda Domínguez