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I'd like to tell you the story of a beautiful little girl born in the 70's. She had a good
life, liked to play dress-up, had a favorite purse, and even watched the lone ranger sitting
on her Mickey Mouse sleeping bag. However, as she grew up, it became evident to herself,
and to everyone else, that she looked like a boy. So she tried to live a boy's life.
She still liked tucking her dolls in at night, but she also loved He-Man and Transformers.
So what that she loved her Mother's clothing and make-up and liked to look through and
wear her jewelry? So what that she fit in better with the little girls than she did
with the little boys? That was all secret, and she was afraid it was wrong, and that
it might make her a freak. So she kept it hidden. She hid it so well, and deep that
she even let herself deny it. When she hit puberty, it became undeniable that her body
looked like an awkward young man, further convincing everyone, including herself, that's
what she was. As she grew, she got very good at pretending. Pretending to have control.
Pretending her best to be a boy. Pretending to be happy. Pretending she wanted to live.
She fooled lots of people for lots of years and though she knew she was unhappy, and that
she wasn't interested in living, she didn't talk about it because she didn't know why.
Things got worse as her denial got worse, it was getting harder to pretend. She had
a hard time being in control, hard time loving people in a healthy way, and eventually became
so depressed, she wanted to die. To save herself, she let the boy drop away and let herself
be real for the first time in her entire life. This is me, Brooke, a few months before starting
Hormone Replacement Therapy, and a few years after realizing that I'm Transgender. That
means that the gender I feel in my brain doesn't match the sex of my body. The only treatment
for me was to start hormone replacement and to transition full time to live my life as
the correct gender. My second puberty has felt just about as awkward as my first one,
but instead of things becoming more and more difficult for me, things are becoming easier,
because I'm becoming who I'm supposed to be. I got through my first real awkward phase
and I started to really blossom. I was feeling happy for reasons that I really couldn't say.
Whereas, in the past, events would make me happy, like a birthday, but now I could just
be driving down the street and feel happy. I started to really get to know and to understand
myself. Several things about me, instead of really changing, they just came to light.
I was able to be honest with myself and with other people for the first time in my life
and it's been great. I'm a little over a year into my transition now, and everything hasn't
corrected itself, it hasn't all just fixed itself, but the things that are still wrong
are things that I can continue to work on, and things that I can really get my hands
around instead of just having this misunderstood unknowable depression constantly around me.
My wonderful and beautiful wife has stuck with me. Our relationship has transitioned
along with us and we're now closer than ever. My son is my biggest supporter. He now calls
me Mari instead of Dad and told me once, "Do what makes you happy and if anyone's mean
to you, ignore them." Life is better and I'm so happy and I'm so lucky to be surrounded by friends and family
that still love and support me. I've lost some people in this transition but the most
important people in my life are still there, still caring for me. My advice to everybody
watching this video is to be true to yourself right now. Don't wait forty years like Idid.
It's true what they say that sometimes things feel like they get a little harder before
they get better but being better, oh my Gods, it's ... it''s so much better. It's hard to
explain. I'm happy and I want you to be too. Thank you for watching, love you all, bye
bye.