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CODEX: There's a saying, keep your friends close but your
enemies closer.
Right?
Can I change that to the closer your friends come, the
more they look like enemies?
I mean, come on.
First, Tink steals my server key.
Then Zaboo moves into my work.
I was so dumb to think I could keep The Game and the Guild
separate, even for a day.
And then when they mix, it's like oil and water, fire and
gasoline, nuclear dragon and fairy toadstool village.
Those analogies got weird quick.
At a certain point, all you can do is triage
the infected area.
Meaning with Zaboo, I will amputate him.
That's my mean face.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
ZABOO: Something's corrupted this database, but there's a
backup on the floor server.
So I can fix that pronto.
CODEX: Hey, Floyd.
What's going on?
FLOYD: Oh.
It's just great to have a dedicated IT guy up here.
CODEX: Yeah.
I hired him.
Theodora authorized it.
Don't talk to her about it.
FLOYD: Awesome, righty.
Yeah, we're just trying to get this file fixed.
My hate spreadsheet got corrupted.
It's ironic.
CODEX: Hate spreadsheet?
FLOYD: Yeah, I have Sula collect every negative thing
ever said about me for weekends or
if I ever feel happy.
Oh look, Dickspawn29.
He said Floyd Petrowski single-handedly ruined gaming.
Put that in row 49,212.
ZABOO: Ah.
Done.
I really admire your thoroughness,
one collator to another.
CODEX: Is there anything else I can help you with so you can
work on that expansion?
No nagging.
FLOYD: Oh, if you have time, I need you to burn all my socks.
I only wear them once.
CODEX: You can donate them.
FLOYD: No.
I can't stand the idea of other people's feet being
where my feet have been.
So behind HQ, there's a burn barrel.
It's labeled Floyd's sock barrel.
That's the barrel.
Don't burn in any other barrel.
All right.
I got to go.
Chris Avellone has a thing with little
sandwiches and tea.
ZABOO: All set.
FLOYD: Grazi.
CODEX: Bye.
Just buzz me if you need me.
What are you doing?
You're just pretending to work here?
FLOYD: I'm working a lot.
OK.
Sula, the community manager, she had me
reformat her hard drive.
And then Roy--
CODEX: Do not be on a first name basis with
people who hate me.
You are just wandering around fixing things, and nobody is
questioning it?
ZABOO: Well, Indian guy in a cubicle.
I mean, where's the red flag?
CODEX: I cannot believe this.
First, the Guild crashes my work.
Then Tink steals my server key.
It's like you want to ruin this job.
ZABOO: We're trying to help.
CODEX: Oh, well, why don't you help me get Floyd to release
the new expansion?
Because somehow that's on my shoulders now.
ZABOO: All right.
Well, I'll just download these files from HR, and you can use
these facts to get him motivated.
Insta-helped.
CODEX: I didn't expect you to have a solution.
Thanks.
ZABOO: Where is my lady?
TINK: Hey.
If you were normal and I flirted with you and you
didn't bite, that means you'd have Asperger's
or something, right?
VORK: Gruuuunt.
TINK: What's your damage?
VORK: Madeline denigrated The Game.
Called it a fantasy world that means nothing.
How can we have such explosive mind-melding chemistry and be
so far apart?
TINK: That's what you get for dating a civilian.
I take my policies from the Ferengi.
Relationships are transactional only.
VORK: If only I could get her to understand how much I care
about things.
That the thing I stand for is standing for everything.
TINK: Well, then get your face off the ground and do
something about it.
I could pretend to be supportive for a few more
minutes or I can go.
I'm going to go.
Cool?
VORK: Cool.
Do something?
What can I do?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
CHRIS AVELLONE: Remember, Floyd, the crust
protects the bread.
Don't remove the crust.
That's a metaphor.
FLOYD: I was right.
Whoa.
CODEX: I decided to liven up your office a little bit.
Maybe you can log on to the expansion with new eyes.
Find the fun in it again.
It's stupid, right?
FLOYD: No.
No.
This is great.
I love that song "99 Luftballons."
There's only 39 here.
But that's cool.
And how'd you know I like cupcakes?
CODEX: Unobtrusive non-creepy research.
So you think it'll help?
FLOYD: Yeah.
I think it will.
You know what?
Here.
I'm ready to get to work.
CODEX: OK.
I'll get burning.
FLOYD: Ugh.
Well.
I dunno.
CLARA: Are you reading all the comments on my video, honey?
Are you?
Are you?
WIGGLY: Yeah.
It's very cute.
Wait.
Is that a still of my face on that sidebar?
BLADEZZ: Oh, ignore that.
50 hits.
You got no appeal.
Clara here is the jackpot.
CLARA: They want advice from me.
I'm going to be the next Dear Abby, except not
black-and-white-faced and helmet-haired.
WIGGLY: Yeah.
You made one video.
It's not the same as actual parenting.
You haven't started dinner, and the kids are covered in
shaving foam and oatmeal for some reason.
So don't get more distracted.
No more videos.
Please.
Kids, oven strudel.
CLARA: Bladezz, he doesn't want me to
make any more videos.
And I was so inspiring, I inspired myself.
BLADEZZ: You have got to keep filming.
I am getting so--
you are helping so many people.
Look.
Take my camera.
I'll keep Wiggly distracted.
You keep cranking out that vlog mommy gold.
CLARA: Wow.
And we always thought you were such a ***.
CODEX: [SCREAMS].
Zaboo, I hate horror films.
ZABOO: She's gone.
My collage is gone.
OK.
My blueprint to eternal happiness, gone.
CODEX: I'm sorry.
ZABOO: At least I got this test server key for you.
Theodora gave it to me after I filled
out the start paperwork.
You know she never finishes her--
CODEX: I know.
This is awesome.
Thank you.
ZABOO: OK.
Blech.
I guess I'm just going to go.
CODEX: Wait.
Where are you going?
ZABOO: I don't know.
I was going to go and start my collage over again or just
live alone.
Maybe I'll just stay in this burn barrel.
Better than Vork's place.
CODEX: OK.
Here.
If you stick around without getting me in trouble, I'll
just watch you play over your shoulder.
ZABOO: You're giving me the test server key?
You know, I was already planning on dying for you
someday, but this really seals the deal.
CODEX: It would be nice to have someone I don't have to
tip toe around.
And if I keep Floyd working on the expansion, you know,
things might actually work out here.
ZABOO: Let's burn some socks.
CODEX: Yeah.
Get out first.
OK.
FLOYD: There is a sense of wonder in
this underwater world.
Maybe it's not that bad.
VORK: [COUGHS].
Mr. Petrowski, it's time for a reckoning.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]