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0:09 EMCEE Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great
pleasure to welcome a certified coach and a member of the International Coaching Foundation,
a lady with over thirty years’ experience. On behalf of the Department of Romance I’m
proud to present our Dating Diva, Dee Frazier. 0:28
DEE FRAZIER Thank you. Okay, so we have a lot of work to do here. Okay, so here. Okay,
so what I want you to do first, I want you to touch your heart, and say, I am ready to
date. I am ready to date! 0:40
AUDIENCE I am ready to date. 0:41
DF Now you touch the person next to you and say, I am ready to date.
0:44 AUD I am ready to date.
0:46 DF I walked into this big room, I knew no
one. And I went over to the buffet table and got a tray of food; and I was nervous. I mean,
this is not who I am today but I was nervous. And I went over to all the tables of ten,
and I went over to a table where there were five women and five empty chairs, and I said,
Hi, my name is Dee Frazier, may I join you? Well, two of the women said no, the other
three shook their heads no. And I’m standing there with my tray, totally wishing that the
floor would open and swallow me up. So why do you think they said that?
1:20 Well, you know what? I went over to another
table and thankfully, they invited me to sit down. And the truth is, the next twenty to
thirty minutes, I obsessed over that rejection. And the truth is, I had one word, and that
was “no.” So the other thing that’s really important is to have extreme self-care,
whether you’re married or you’re just now getting out of a marriage going into a
single world, taking care of yourself is really really important.
1:48 And of course, the rules today are: there
aren’t any. You make up your own rules. My rule is that we don’t talk money, or
sex, or marriage, until I’m, you know, we’re really into the relationship. And that’s
just my rule. Because what sex does, particularly for women more than men, because of the way
they think – yeah, the part of their body they think with, do you know what I mean?
So women tend to get attached much quicker emotionally, and it may be too soon.
2:19 Here it is, Friday night in Dallas, Texas,
and I’m getting all ready – and I’m excited, because, again, I’m gonna be out
dancing and I’m gonna be with this person that I call “The Peacock.” And the reason
I call him The Peacock, his name was James [unintelligible] – it’s one of those rednecks
that you referred to – and it’s because when he’s strutting, and when he’s just
so dynamic and so exciting and he can spin me and do these magical things that get a
lot of attention; one night, we’re out, and he literally does a backbend, he goes
all the way backwards, and I bend down, and it looks like I’m picking him up – in
reality, the sonofagun is leaping to his feet. 3:00
And so I said to him, James, listen, maybe it’s not your dancing, maybe it’s my outfit.
And he looked at me like, how dare you say that. But anyway, it was – and then I went
over to the group and I thanked them, I said, the good news is, if anything happens to either
one of us, we’re both on Medicare. So it’s just about, you know, you’re never too old
to play, you’re never too old to have a good time. And that’s what’ll keep you
young and enjoying each other and enjoying being single, married, whatever, for at least
the rest of your life. 3:33
I was gonna kiss a thousand frogs before I met a prince, and I had this image of frogs
jumping through my head. So I was smart enough to get up and walk around and meet some other
people, and that night a man did ask me out. And we agreed to meet for dinner, and we met
at a restaurant someplace. And he does something that for men is totally not okay: he takes
out a coupon. First date, and he’s got a coupon. And he’s telling me what to order,
and I’m going, okay. And so the night goes downhill from there, of course, and at the
end of the evening he proceeded to ask me to go home with him. And I’m saying, does
this mean I have to kiss — no, I have to, there’s 999 more of these? And then I decided
that if I didn’t kiss him, I didn’t have to count him. And then I said, you know, you
don’t have a coupon for that. Thank you.