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SO, NOW, WHAT IS THIS NOW?
GOOGILY WORM.
( giggles )
AND THIS?
GLOW POP JIGGLY JAMMER.
( laughs )
BAIT IS SO FUNNY.
HEY, UM, WHAT'S THIS?
OH, A HUNK OF SANDWICH FROM LAST YEAR.
OH, GELLER'S GOT ONE HOOKED.
OH! LOOKS LIKE A BIG ONE!
UH-OH, IT'S THE CLASSIC STRUGGLE BETWEEN MAN AND...
SOMEONE KNOCKED OVER A LAMP.
HEY, YOU GUYS, YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO BE GREAT
ABOUT THE FISHING TRIP THIS YEAR?
WHEN MY DAD GIVES ME THAT
"JOEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?" STUFF
I CAN SAY, "WELL, I'M DOING A MOVIE
"WITH CHARLTON HESTON, DAD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?"
( quacking )
YOU DON'T HAVE TO STOP HAVING FUN JUST BECAUSE I'M HERE.
KATHY DIDN'T CHEAT ON ALL OF YOU.
WELL, EXCEPT YOU.
( quacking )
Monica: HEY, JOEY, I DON'T THINK
YOU SHOULD LEAVE CHANDLER ALONE.
IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO DAYS
SINCE HE BROKE UP WITH KATHY.
MAYBE YOU CAN GO FISHING NEXT WEEK.
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO FOR HIM NOW.
HE'S STILL IN HIS SWEAT PANTS.
THAT'S ONLY PHASE ONE.
YOU KNOW, I'LL BE BACK FOR PHASE TWO.
I WOULD NEVER MISS PHASE TWO.
WHAT'S PHASE TWO?
GETTING DRUNK AND GOING TO A STRIP CLUB.
HOW DOES GOING TO A STRIP CLUB
MAKE HIM BETTER?
THERE ARE NAKED LADIES THERE.
IT HELPS HIM GET TO PHASE THREE:
"PICTURING YOURSELF WITH OTHER WOMEN."
THERE ARE NAKED LADIES THERE, TOO.
YEAH.
( quacking )
WOULD YOU GIVE ME ONE MINUTE, PLEASE?
[Captioning sponsored by WARNER BROS. TELEVISION, NBC
and OCEAN SPRAY. REFRESHINGLY HONEST.]
♪ SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY ♪
♪ YOUR JOB'S A JOKE, YOU'RE BROKE ♪
♪ YOUR LOVE LIFE'S D.O.A. ♪
♪ IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR ♪
♪ WHEN IT HASN'T BEEN YOUR DAY ♪
♪ YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR ♪
♪ BUT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪
♪ WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO POUR ♪
♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪
♪ LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE ♪
♪ I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME, TOO. ♪
THESE WILL MATCH THE JACKET YOU PICKED OUT FOR ME?
MM-HMM.
THERE WE GO.
THERE IT IS.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED?
YEAH?
GLOVES.
BROWN LEATHER DRESS GLOVES.
OH, OKAY, UH, WELL, LET'S SEE.
YOU'RE ABOUT A, WELL
THIS ONE IS LARGE.
AND, UH, THIS ONE...
ALSO LARGE?
YEAH. OKAY.
TWO LARGES COMING RIGHT UP.
OKAY.
( scoffs )
RACHEL, COULD I HAVE A MOMENT?
YES.
I WAS WONDERING...
MY NIECE, YOU SEE, IS IN TOWN FROM LONDON.
SHROPSHIRE, REALLY, BUT YOU KNOW...
WELL, SHE'S ABOUT YOUR AGE, I'D SAY.
ANYWAY, I HAVE TICKETS FOR THE OPERA, DIE FLEDERMAUS
AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WOULD LIKE
TO KEEP HER COMPANY THIS EVENING.
SURE, YOU GOT IT.
GREAT. COUNT ME IN.
ME, FLEDERMAUS, GREAT.
I REALLY...
HMM? OH, YES, OF COURSE.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.
SO?
SO?
GLOVES?
OH, RIGHT, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I KIND OF... I GOT TO TAKE OFF
BUT I WAS CURIOUS...
DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
NO. NOTHING!
I INVESTED IN THIS NIGHTCLUB AND IT'S OPENING TONIGHT.
YEAH, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
YOU'RE INTO HARD-CORE S&M, RIGHT?
WELL, I-I GU... I GUE...
I'M KIDDING.
( chuckles )
WHEW!
I GOT TO GET THERE EARLY
BUT I'M GOING TO PUT YOU ON THE V.I.P. LIST.
LOOK FOR ME.
YEAH. GREAT.
OKAY.
I ALMOST FORGOT THE TICKETS, DIDN'T I?
WHAT?
FOR YOU AND EMILY.
TONIGHT.
DIE FLEDERMAUS.
OH... OH, RIGHT.
I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT.
IT HAS TWO OUT OF THE THREE TENORS.
OH, YAY!
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE KATHY DID THIS TO ME.
I REALLY THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS THE ONE.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
FROM NOW ON, I'M NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS CHAIR EVER, OKAY?
FROM NOW ON, THIS CHAIR IS "THE ONE."
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS "THE ONE"?
MY SWEAT PANTS.
COME ON, MAN
JUST-JUST TAKE THE SWEATS OFF, OKAY?
JUST TAKE 'EM OFF, AND WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN.
HEY, HEY.
HI.
HAVE A GOOD TIME? CATCH A BIG ONE?
OH, GOD, YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA.
WOW, YOU STINK!
ARE YOU KIDDING?
YEAH, THREE DAYS ON THE LAKE WITHOUT A SHOWER.
PLUS, I FELL INTO THAT BIG TUB OF WORMS AT THE BAIT STAND.
HEY, H-HOW'S HE DOING?
HE HASN'T MOVED IN TWO DAYS.
HEY, BUDDY, HOW'S IT GOING?
HEY, YOU SEE THAT?
HE JUST NEEDED HIS PAL TO COME HOME.
ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO GO MEMORIZE MY LINES.
ME AND CHARLTON HESTON, BRIGHT AND EARLY TOMORROW, BABY!
YEAH, YOU DO 'EM!
HEY.
Ross: HEY.
Phoebe: HEY, MONICA.
UH-OH, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
OH, IT'S...
JOSHUA INVITED ME TO THIS FANCY CLUB OPENING TONIGHT.
OOH, BUT I ALREADY TOLD MR. WALTHAM
THAT I WOULD TAKE HIS NIECE
TO THE DUMB OLD OPERA, SO...
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
( sighs )
I DON'T KNOW, SWEETIE.
NO! HELP ME!
I CAN'T. I HAVE TO WORK.
PHOEBE...?
I WOULD, BUT I GET MORNING SICKNESS IN THE EVENING.
UNLESS... SHE WANTS TO SPEND THE NIGHT
HOLDING MY HAIR BACK FOR ME.
OH, GOSH, YOU GUYS, COME ON.
THIS IS... I HAVE TO MEET JOSHUA.
THIS IS MY ONE CHANCE FOR HIM TO SEE THE FUN RACHEL.
YOU KNOW, THE WOULDN'T-IT-BE-GREAT-
IF-SHE-WERE-MY-WIFE RACHEL?
OH, ALL RIGHT.
ARE JOEY AND CHANDLER BACK?
CHANDLER'S STILL IN PHASE ONE
AND JOEY'S THAT THING YOU SMELL.
OH, THAT'S...
HI.
HI.
SO...?
NO.
OH, COME ON.
( knocking )
BET SHE'S HERE.
NO, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. ROSS, PLEASE!
YOU WANT ME TO TAKE SOME GIRL I'VE NEVER MET TO THE OPERA
SO YOU CAN GO TO A CLUB AND FLIRT WITH SOME GUY? HMM.
YEAH, THAT-THAT IS A TOUGHIE...
OH, SHE'S LOOKING
DOWN THE HALL.
( gasps )
SHE LOOKED RIGHT AT ME.
OH, WAIT, YOU CAN'T SEE PEOPLE THROUGH THAT LITTLE HOLE
CAN YOU?
HELLO?
Woman: HELLO?
( shrieks )
OH, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
OKAY, ROSS, PLEASE COME ON.
I THOUGHT WE HAD MOVED ON.
I THOUGHT WE HAD GOTTEN TO A PLACE
WHERE WE COULD BE HAPPY FOR EACH OTHER.
WAS THAT JUST ME?
ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
EMILY?
OH, YES.
I'M RACHEL GREEN.
YEAH.
THERE'S BEEN A TEENY, TEENY CHANGE OF PLANS.
TURNS OUT I'M NOT FREE TONIGHT, SO...
REALLY? WELL, THAT'S JUST LOVELY, ISN'T IT?
I MUST HAVE MISSED YOUR CALL
EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T LEAVE THE FLAT ALL DAY.
OH, WELL, NO, I...
NO, NO, NO, THAT'S NOT RUDE.
IT'S PERFECTLY IN KEEPING WITH THE TRIP
WHERE I'VE ALREADY BEEN RUN DOWN BY ONE
OF YOUR WIENER CARS
AND BEEN STRIP-SEARCHED
AT JOHN F. KENNEDY AIRPORT.
APPARENTLY TO YOU PEOPLE
I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO'S GOT A BALLOON FULL OF ***
STUFFED UP THEIR BUM.
I-I-I THINK YOU LOOK GREAT.
GOOD NIGHT.
IT WAS VERY NICE TO MEET YOU ALL.
I'LL GET HER.
PLEASE, HURRY.
SO, DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THE WAY THEY TALK?
"OOH..." UH, YOU KNOW...
OH!
WHAT?
I THINK THE BABY KICKED.
OH, MY GOD!
( laughs )
OH, NO, WAIT, OH, THAT WAS THE ELASTIC
IN MY UNDERWEAR BUSTED.
MY GOD! I OVERSLEPT!
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE SET A HALF AN HOUR AGO!
I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
OH, JOEY, YOU CAN'T GO LIKE THAT.
YOU STINK!
I FELL ASLEEP BEFORE I COULD TAKE A SHOWER.
THEY'RE JUST TEN BLOCKS AWAY.
IF I RUN, I CAN MAKE IT.
YEAH, RUN TEN BLOCKS.
THAT'LL HELP THE SMELL.
HEY! OH! SLOW DOWN.
NO, KEEP MOVING.
SO, HOW DID IT GO WITH JOSHUA LAST NIGHT?
OH, WELL, I DIDN'T SEE JOSHUA
BUT I DID PUNCH A GIRL IN THE FACE.
WHAT?
WHY?
IT WAS POURING DOWN RAIN
AND WHEN I GOT THERE, THERE WAS NO RACHEL GREEN ON THE LIST
BUT THERE WAS A RACHEL "GREEP."
OH, SO DID YOU GET TO MEET HER?
NO, THERE IS NO RACHEL GREEP
BUT THEN THIS OTHER GIRL OVERHEARD US
AND SHE WAS ALL, "I'M RACHEL GREEP!
I'M RACHEL GREEP!"
AND HE LET HER RIGHT IN.
SO YOU HIT HER IN THE FACE?
NO, SHE WAS ALREADY IN
BUT THEN THIS BIG *** BEHIND ME
TRIED TO STEAL MY UMBRELLA, SO I CLOCKED HER.
OH! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
ALL I WANTED WAS JUST
A FEW HOURS OUTSIDE OF WORK TO SEE JOSHUA
SO THAT HE COULD GO AHEAD AND START FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME.
OH...
PHEEBS.
HONEY, THAT'S YOUR NAME.
THAT'S SHORT FOR PHOEBE?!
I THOUGHT THAT'S JUST WHAT WE CALLED EACH OTHER.
Monica: HEY, YOU'RE WEARING PANTS.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WHERE ARE THE GUYS?
I'M READY TO GET DRUNK
AND SEE SOME STRIPPERS.
IT'S 9:30 IN THE MORNING.
THEY GOT A BREAKFAST BUFFET.
( phone rings )
HELLO? OH, HEY, ROSS.
OOH! LET ME TALK TO HIM.
OH, MY GOD!
WELL, CAN I JUST...?
SHH! WAIT, WHAT?
SHE'S SHUSHING ME.
SHH! PLEASE!
WHAT'S HE SAYING?
HE'S WITH EMILY AT A BED AND BREAKFAST IN VERMONT.
WHAT? OH, MY GOD!
WHAT? WHO THE HELL IS EMILY?
NO!
OW.
HOW-HOW DID HE END UP
IN VERMONT WITH THAT AWFUL WITCH?
WELL, MAYBE SHE DOESN'T HIT HIM ALL THE TIME.
Ross: When we first met her
SHE WAS SOAKING.
HER FEET WERE WET.
WHO WOULDN'T BE MISERABLE?
I'M TELLING YOU, ONCE I GOT HER INTO A DRY PAIR OF SHOES
SHE WAS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON.
ROSS, COME QUICKLY.
A DEER'S OUTSIDE, EATING FRUIT FROM THE ORCHARD.
THERE'S A DEER OUTSIDE, EATING FRUIT FROM THE ORCHARD.
HE HAD TO GO.
THERE WAS A DEER JUST OUTSIDE, EATING FRUIT
FROM THE ORCHARD.
I DON'T GET THIS.
SHE WAS HORRIBLE.
OKAY, I'M GOING TO GO STAND OVER THERE.
WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ANYWAY?
I DON'T CARE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M JUST UPSET
THAT I'M GETTING NOWHERE WITH JOSHUA
THAT... YOU KNOW WHAT?
STILL, YOU DO NOT JUST MEET SOMEONE
AND GO FLITTING OFF TO VERMONT.
WELL, WHEN YOU FIRST MET BARRY, YOU FLITTED OFF TO VAIL.
OH, WOULD YOU JUST FOR ONCE NOT REMEMBER EVERY LITTLE THING?
SO, YOU KNOW, UH, WHEN'S HE GETTING BACK?
COUPLE OF DAYS.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I KNEW SOMETHING
LIKE THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
CHANDLER...
YOU CAN'T JUST GO BACK A PHASE.
YES, YOU CAN.
YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT TIME.
YOU CAN'T
GO BACK IN TIME.
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST...
WHY DON'T YOU DO YOUR PHASE-TWO STRIP-CLUB THING WITH US?
COME ON, WE CAN BE GUYS.
( chuckles ): NO, YOU CAN'T.
COME ON, LET US BE GUYS.
MAYBE WE WANT TO BE GUYS.
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE GUYS.
YOU'D BE ALL HAIRY, AND YOU WON'T LIVE AS LONG.
YOU... WOULD YOU JUST STOP BEING SUCH A WUSS
AND GET THOSE OFF, AND YOU COME
WITH US AND WATCH NAKED GIRLS DANCE AROUND!
OKAY.
I'M SORRY.
COME ON.
HEY. JOEY TRIBBIANI. I'M HERE.
CALM DOWN, WE GOT TIME.
WE'RE RUNNING A LITTLE LATE.
OH.
ALL SET.
Joey: LOOK AT THAT.
CHARLTON HESTON EATING A LICORICE WHIP.
YEAH, HE LOVES 'EM.
I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM WITH...
( sniffs )
( both sniffing )
HEY... WHOA...
YEAH, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
WHAT SMELLS SO BAD?
YOU.
OH. I COULD SEE WHY YOU WOULD THINK THAT
BUT, UH...
ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHO I THINK IT IS?
YOU?
NO, NO, IT'S, UH...
IT'S HESTON.
WHAT?
OH, THE MAN REEKS.
SMELLS LIKE HE WENT ON A THREE-DAY FISHING TRIP
THEN ATE LICORICE.
THERE'S NO WAY HE SMELLS.
HE'S THE ONLY ONE WITH A SHOWER IN HIS DRESSING ROOM.
REALLY?
A SHOWER, HUH?
AND, UH, WHICH ROOM MIGHT THAT BE?
THE ONE WITH "HESTON" ON IT.
INTERESTING.
HEY...
I GOT SOME ONES.
YOU WANT TO PUT THEM IN HER ***?
NO, THANKS, MOM.
OH, NO, UM, HI.
THAT, THAT... UM, YOU HAVE TO PUT THAT OUT
'CAUSE I'M PREGNANT, SO...
WELL, MAYBE YOU AND YOUR BABY
OUGHT TO GO TO ANOTHER STRIP CLUB.
HA-HA, IT'S NOT MY BABY, HA-HA-HA.
VERY GOOD, YES.
THAT WAS SO GOOD.
REALLY, REALLY ENJOYED IT.
YOU KNOW, VERY EXOTIC.
WELL, I JUST CHECKED OUR MESSAGES
AND JOSHUA DIDN'T CALL.
YOU WOULD THINK
HE WOULD BE WORRIED
ABOUT ME NOT SHOWING UP AT HIS CLUB.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES IT SO MUCH WORSE?
ROSS IS ALL HAPPY IN VERMONT.
COME ON, LOOK WHERE YOU ARE.
IF YOU GET A SEC, ANOTHER ROUND OF DAIQUIRIS.
REMEMBER, UM, *** FOR ME, PLEASE.
DON'T LET ME LEAVE WITHOUT GETTING THE NAME
OF THAT CARPET GUY.
OH, COME ON!
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M JUST GOING TO GO HOME AND CALL KATHY.
WELL, IF YOU THINK IT'LL HELP.
NO, THAT WAS A TEST.
IN A COUPLE HOURS, I'LL GET REALLY DRUNK AND WANT TO CALL.
YOU GUYS HAVE TO STOP ME.
AND THEN AFTER THAT, I'M GOING TO WANT TO CALL JANICE.
YOU SHOULD. HOW IS SHE?
OH!
I THINK SOMEBODY NEEDS ANOTHER LAP DANCE.
( imitating pistol firing )
( door slams )
HELLO?
WHO'S IN THERE?
HOW YOU DOING?
WHO IN THE HELL ARE YOU?
UH...
I GUESS YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME
IF I SAID I WAS KIRK DOUGLAS, HUH?
PUT SOME PANTS ON, KID, SO I CAN KICK YOUR BUTT.
NO-NO-NO, NO, NO, WAIT, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
SEE, I'M AN ACTOR.
JOEY TRIBBIANI.
I'M DOING A SCENE WITH YOU TODAY
AND, WELL, I STINK.
YOU'RE IN THIS PICTURE?
YEAH, YEAH.
I'M ONE OF THE COPS WHO WON'T WORK WITH YOU
'CAUSE YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON.
ANYWAY, LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT I JUST... I STINK.
JOEY, RIGHT?
YEAH.
COME ON, COME ON.
EVERY ACTOR AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER...
AH!
EVERY ACTOR THINKS HE STINKS.
EVEN LAURENCE OLIVIER SOMETIMES THOUGHT HE STANK.
BOB REDFORD WON'T EVEN WATCH HIMSELF.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
LISTEN TO ME.
OH, YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW ONE ACTOR
WORTH HIS SALT WHO ONE TIME IN HIS CAREER
DIDN'T SAY, "GOD, I STINK."
HELL, I JUST DID A SCENE OUT THERE, FIRST TAKE...
I STUNK THE PLACE UP
BUT...
THE IMPORTANT THING
YOU MUST REMEMBER:
NO MATTER HOW BADLY YOU THINK YOU STINK
YOU MUST NEVER, EVER BUST INTO MY DRESSING ROOM
AND USE MY SHOWER.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
YES, SIR. YES, SIR. I'M-I'M VERY SORRY.
WAIT A MINUTE.
TAKE YOUR PANTS.
YEAH, OH, YEAH.
( chuckles)
SO, WE DID OKAY AT THE STRIP CLUB, RIGHT?
OH, YEAH, THAT WAS GREAT.
THANKS TO YOU
THE HOTTEST COCKTAIL WAITRESS THERE IS QUITTING
TO TEACH THE THIRD GRADE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
HE STILL HASN'T CALLED.
WHO? JOSH?
IT'S JOSHUA.
HE DOESN'T LIKE "JOSH"?
NO, I DON'T.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M GOING TO PUT MY SWEATS BACK ON.
NO, WAIT, WAIT.
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU WERE RIGHT.
WE REALLY WEREN'T GREAT AT BEING GUYS
BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE WE'RE GIRLS.
YEAH?
KNOW WHAT GIRLS ARE REALLY GOOD AT?
STRIPPING.
NO. LISTENING.
SIT.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE JUST IT WOULD REALLY, REALLY HELP
IF YOU WOULD JUST TALK.
YEAH, COME ON.
WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?
Monica: YEAH.
AND, YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT TO CRY...
THAT'S OKAY, TOO.
OKAY, LOOK, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK
YOU ALL TO LEAVE.
COME ON, CHANDLER.
OH, LOOK, FORGET IT.
WE TRIED, BUT PHASE THREE IS A LOST CAUSE.
OKAY? THOSE STRIPPERS WERE INSANELY HOT
AND I COULDN'T PICTURE MYSELF WITH ANY OF THEM.
( sighs )
THEY REALLY WERE PRETTY, WEREN'T THEY?
OOH...
I REALLY LIKED THAT FIGHTER PILOT ONE.
OH, CANDY? OH, SHE WAS SO SPUNKY.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, I THINK
IF I WERE GOING TO BE WITH A WOMAN...
IT'D BE WITH SOMEONE LIKE MICHELLE
BECAUSE SHE WAS... SHE WAS JUST SO PETITE.
SEE, I DON'T KNOW.
FOR ME IT WOULD HAVE TO BE CHANTAL.
OH, CHANTAL.
YOU KNOW?
OH, MY GOODNESS. OH...
SHE HAD THE SMOOTHEST SKIN.
I MEAN, WHEN I STUFFED THAT DOLLAR BILL IN HER G-STRING
AND GRAZED HER THIGH...
PHASE THREE!
I JUST ACHIEVED PHASE THREE!
REALLY?
I AM TOTALLY PICTURING YOU WITH ALL THOSE WOMEN.
THAT'S... THAT'S NOT PHASE THREE.
WELL, I'M THERE, TOO.
WELL, ARE WE ALL TOGETHER, LIKE IN A GROUP?
STOP IT!
YOU'RE KILLING ME!
I THINK I JUST MOVED ON TO PHASE FOUR.
OH, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THAT?
WHERE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP EVER.
I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH STRIPPERS AND MY FRIENDS.
COME ON.
LET ME SEE THAT SMILE.
I DON'T WANT TO.
PLEASE?
I WANTED TO GO TO THE STRIP CLUB.
I KNOW, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE PLENTY OF CHANCES.
THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF WOMEN OUT THERE
WHO ARE JUST WAITING TO SCREW ME OVER.
YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
HEY.
HEY, OH, HOW WAS VERMONT?
EMILY IS...
INCREDIBLE.
I MEAN, THERE ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HER.
THE WHOLE WEEKEND WAS, WAS LIKE A DREAM.
OH, AND YOU... RACH.
HEY.
YOU WERE SO RIGHT.
WHAT?
WHAT YOU SAID
ABOUT US FINALLY BEING IN A PLACE
WHERE WE COULD REALLY BE HAPPY FOR EACH OTHER.
I MEAN, I... I-I ADMIT I WASN'T QUITE THERE.
YOU KNOW? I MEAN, THE THOUGHT
OF YOU AND THAT, THAT JOSH GUY...
JOSHUA.
JOSHUA... GUY...
AT THAT CLUB, DANCING, HAVING A GOOD TIME.
THE THOUGHT OF IT KIND OF...
YOU KNOW?
YEAH...
BUT NOW-- BUT NOW
I'M TOTALLY THERE.
I'M FINALLY WHERE YOU ARE.
OH, THANK GOODNESS.
YEAH, AND... AND THANK YOU FOR EMILY.
OH, NO PROBLEM.
I'M SO GLAD I COULD HELP.
YOU KNOW, HAPPY FOR YOU.
HAPPY FOR YOU.
OH, NO.
HAPPY FOR YOU.
HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO.
YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES;
YOU TWO GO GET THE OILS;
AND YOU JUST CONSTANTLY SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR VOICE
"CHANDLER'S THE KING! CHANDLER'S THE KING!"
I WANT TO BE WITH HER.
I LIKE HER.
OH, THAT'S FINE.
GO WITH YOUR INSTINCTS.
WHAT AM I DOING AGAIN?
WOULD YOU PLEASE
PAY ATTENTION?
I COULD WAKE UP AT ANY MOMENT.
I'M JOSHUA. I'M HERE TO PICK UP RACHEL.
NO, NO. THAT'S NOT JOSHUA.
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
I NEVER MET THE GUY.
SO, ANYWAY, RACHEL, I'M SORRY YOU CAN'T STAY.
THE REST OF US HAVE
A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
[Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, I GOT TO WAKE UP.