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OK, I’m going to read off, or say three sentences and two are true and one is false.
And you have to ask me questions to discover which, which one’s false. Alright? I have
sung in a choir. I have hiked a thousand miles. And, I have acted in ten plays.
You’re a talented guy. If they’re true.
That was before breakfast. Nice.
OK. Right.
So, I have sung in a choir. How many people were in the choir?
There were about twenty, I think, twenty, twenty-five.
And, what voice do you have? Is it a . . . ?
A terrible voice A, somewhere bet-, a baritone, I think. Tenor,
Bass. Uh-huh. And, where did you perform?
I performed in Italy in a community, well, it was, it was, it was in high school.
What’s your favorite song? Jeeze, I don’t remember which songs, Hallelujah.
Christmas songs, things like that. How old were you?
I was about eighteen. And how long were you in the choir?
Two and a
half years. What were you doing in Italy?
I was, I was living, I was a, my father was a teacher in Italy. And so, I was living with
him . . . What do you guys think? I think it’s true.
. . .at an American School. Sounds reasonable.
I don’t know. I think he’d need to sing for us.
Well, I did say I sang, sang, terribly, didn’t I?
So, why did they let you in the Choir? Well, if, if you’re in a group, it doesn’t
stand out as much. Well, and it was a small school, so they didn’t have much to choose
from. Did the teacher tell you sometimes you had
to mime? No, I, I was supposed to sing my part but
well. And when you, when you mix in with everybody, it sounds OK. I did sing a duet, though, once.
Well, your voice couldn’t have been that bad.
No, it was terrible. What do you think, should we test, should
we test another one? Well I’ll, I’ll tell you, another one.
OK. I’ve walked, or I’ve hiked a thousand miles.
Over what period of time? Four months.
Where was, where were these thousand miles? It was on the Appalachian trail
Oh, lord. From where to where? Well, from, Smoky Mountains to Maine. Mount
Katahdin, in Maine. Smokey Mountains are in Georgia?
No, between Tennessee, well, Tennessee and North Carolina. On the border.
Did you go alone? Yes, I did.
Why did you do it? Because it was there. It was fun. A lot of
people do it, so you meet people on the way. You’re never alone.
It’s a, an established trail? Yes, it is. It’s the, it’s managed by
the Appalachian Trail Club. OK.
Did you get a certificate at the end? Oh, no, you don’t. You don’t get those
sorts of things. What was the most difficult part?
No, it was all more or less the same. No, I don’t mean region, I mean aspect.
Aspect? Yeah, well, you know. . .
Oh, OK, right. I don’t know, some days you, well a lot of days you’re, you’re totally
alone, the whole day. So, and you sleep alone. And sometimes you hear things running around
at night. Well, you can’t see them, so . . .
You sleep in a tent? No, mostly I slept in shelters.
OK. They’re set up by the Appalachian Trail
Club. Sounds . . .
Sounds legit. Very legitimate.
Another one. Another one. I’ve act, or I’ve acted in ten plays.
Name the most famous director of the ten plays. I don’t know that.
I mean, not the director, the playwright. Well who wrote Arsenic and Old Lace? I don’t
know. Damn.
The movie had Cary Grant. I was, I was Teddy Brewster.
Uh-huh. Were you normally in the starring role?
Never. I was never a star. I was always secondary, support.
And where were these plays shown? In a community center.
OK, and where was that? That was in Italy.
Mm-hmm. And the plays were . . . And that was at the same time I was in the
Yeah. And the plays were performed in which language?
In English. Name all ten.
I can’t name them, though. No, I can’t remember.
Because it’s not true! It’s nine plays, isn’t it?
No, I don’t even remember how many exactly anymore. But it was just something I always
said was, “ten plays”. Now I don’t remember, just Two from Galilee and Arsenic and Old
Lace. So which is the falsity?
Well the false one’s the thousand miles. Really?
Oh, I knew it from the start. I only walked about a hundred. I never walked
the whole thing. Ah, you dog!