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SURE, LINDSAY.
YOU CAN GO SEE THE WHO.
AND YOU CAN GO SEE
THE ROLLING STONES
AT ALTAMONT, TOO.
COME ON, DAD.
DON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL
OUT OF IT.
IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN.
I'M SURE IT'D BE FUN.
WHAT'S NOT FUN
ABOUT SITTING AROUND
IN A CLOUD OF
MARIJUANA SMOKE,
WATCHING SOME MANIAC
WAG HIS BLOODY TONGUE?
THAT'S NOT THE WHO, DAD.
THAT'S KISS.
THE WHO SMASH
THEIR GUITARS.
Jean: UGH.
THAT'S TERRIBLE.
THEY DON'T DO THA ANYMORE.
MOM, THE WHO
WROTE A ROCK OPERA.
I'M SURE IT'S TERRIFIC.
HONEY, I DON' SEE WHAT THE
BIG DEAL IS.
SHE'S BEEN TO
CONCER BEFORE.
WE TOOK HER TO
SEE RICH LITTLE
LAST SUMMER.
[IMITATING JOHNNY CARSON]
MAY AN OVERFED YAK
RELIEVE HIMSELF
ON YOUR BUICK.
HA HA HA!
HA HA!
THAT'S GOOD.
THAT SOUNDS
JUST LIKE HIM.
MOM, RICH LITTLE
ISN'T A CONCERT.
OH, YEAH? WELL,
YOU TELL THA
TO THE 2,000 PEOPLE
THAT WERE LAUGHING
THEIR BUTTS OFF.
THEY'RE NOT TOO LOUD,
ARE THEY?
NO.
SAYS THA
THE GUINNESS BOOK
OF WORLD RECORDS
T THEY'RE
THE LOUDEST BAND
ON EARTH.
SAM.
HEY, IF I'M NO ALLOWED
TO SEEKENTUCKY
FRIED MOVIEEVER,
THEN YOU SHOULDN' BE ALLOWED TO SEE
THE WHO.
DADHOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO BECOME AN ADUL
IF YOU NEVER
TREAT ME LIKE ONE?
FINE.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
I'M GONNA LISTEN TO ONE
OF THESE RECORDS,
AND IF THERE'S NOTHING
OBJECTIONABLE ON IT,
I'LL LET YOU GO.
[SIGHS] THANKS, DAD.
I'M SURE IT'S FINE.
DON'T GET AHEAD
OF YOURSELF.
I'LL BE LISTENING
TO IT BACKWARDS, TOO.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DREAMWORKS TELEVISION, L.
L.
C.
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN LIVIN' IN THE PAST,
'BOUT MY REPUTATION IT'S A NEWENERATION
GO AND DO
WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
AND THAT'S WHA I'M GONNA DO
AND I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION
OH, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO
NOT ME
WHAH! NO!
NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO
NOT ME
ME, ME, ME, ME
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
'BOUT MY REPUTATION
IE NEVER BEEN AFRAID
OF ANY DEVIATION
ND I DON'T REALLY CARE
IF YOU THINK I'M STRANGE
I AIN'T GONNA CHANGE
AND I'M NEV GONNA CARE
'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION
NOT ME!
TBALL,
NOT A TEA PARTY!
COME ON, MOVE IT!
MOVE IT, YOU GUYS!
COME ON!
MAN, THIS IS
SOME SLOPPY PLAY.
[THE WHO PLAYINGI'M FREE]
I'M FREE
I'M FREE
GIMME
THE BALL!
GIVE ME
THE BALL!
AND FREEDOM
TASTES OF REALITY
HAVERCHUCK!
I'M FREE
I'M FREE
BILL, PUT IT IN!
OH, NO!
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
FOR YOU TO FOLLOW ME
NICE SHOT,
HAVERCHUCK.
Neal: TOLD YOU NO TO PASS IT TO HIM.
I'M TELLING YOU
GUYS, SERIOUSLY.
NO DISRESPEC TO ZEPPELIN,
BUT I SAW THE WHO
INDIANAPOLIS.
BLEW MY MIND.
IT WAS CRAZY.
MAN, I CAN'T WAI TILL THEY HIT DETROIT.
OH, I HOPE MY EARS
START BLEEDING.
HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.
MY COUSIN FLOYD,
HE'S GOT THA SCHOOL BUS
HE GOT A THE CITY AUCTION?
WE COULD ALL GO IN THAT--
ON OUR OWNMAGIC BUS.
YEAH, A MAGIC
SCHOOLBUS.
SHUT UP.
I HOPE LDSAY
GETS TO GO.
I WANT TO WRITE HER
A SONG ON MY GUITAR
TELL HER HOW I FEEL.
YOU CAN'T EVEN
PLAY THE GUITAR,
THANK GOD.
THAT'S WHERE
YOU'RE WRONG.
I'M LIKE PETE TOWNSHEND,
MAN.
SELF-TAUGHT.
I'M A MASTER.
WANNA SEE?
READY, MAN.
RIP ONE OFF.
THIS IS A LITTLE SONG
I WROTE FOR YOU GUYS.
[STRUMMING "C" CHORD]
MICHAEL, ROW
THE BOAT ASHORE
HALLELUJAH
MICHAEL, ROW THE BOAT
HEY, HEYCOCO
THIS ISN'T THE CAFETERIA
FROMFAME.
UNCLE, UNCLE.
WHO THE HELL'S
COCO?
SHE WAS THAT HOT CHICK
WHO TOOK HER SHIRT OFF
IN THE MOVIE.
OHH, YEAH!
THAT WAS SWEET, MAN.
[INTRO TOI'M ONE
BY THE WHO PLAYS]
EVERY YEAR IS THE SAME
AND I FEEL IT AGAIN
I'M A LOSER
O CHANCE TO WIN
LEAVES START FALLIN'
COMEDOWN IS CALLIN'
LONELINESS
STARTS SINKIN' IN
BUT I'M ONE
I AM ONE
AND I CAN SEE
THAT THIS IS ME
AND I WILL BE
YOU'LL ALL SEE
I'M THE ONE
I'M ONE
I AM ONE
AND I CAN SEE
THAT THIS IS ME
AND I WILL BE
YOU'LL ALL SEE
I'M THE ONE
I'M THE ONE
I'M THE ONE
EH-HEH, HEH
HEY, LITTLE MAN.
HEY, MOM.
HOW WAS WORK?
OHDEAD.
I MADE 18 BUCKS
IN TIPS TODAY.
HOW IS ANYBODY
SUPPOSED TO LIVE
ON THAT, HUH?
OH, NO, YOU'RE NO GONNA START DANCING
AGAIN, ARE YOU?
NO.
GOOD.
BESIDES,
THEY DON'T WAN
AN OLD BROAD
LIKE ME ANYMORE.
MOM.
IT'S TRUE.
SOGUESS WHAT?
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
A GUEST OVER FOR
DINNER TONIGHT.
DAD?
NO, NO.
THIS IS A
A NEW FRIEND.
ANOTHER NEW FRIEND?
IT'S
SOMEONE YOU KNOW.
NEAL'S DAD?
*** SCHWEIBER?
NO! GROSS!
GOD, YOU GOTTA
BE KIDDING ME.
NO.
THIS IS
SOMEBODY THAT I ME AT YOUR SCHOOL.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN
I HAD TO COME IN
FOR THA PARENT-TEACHER
CONFERENCE
'CAUSE YOU WERE
HAVING A HARD TIME
AT GYM?
YEAH.
WELL, I'VE BEEN
I'VE BEEN SEEING
MR.
FREDRICKS.
MY GYM TEACHER?!
PHYSICAL EDUCATION
TEACHER.
NO, YOU CAN'T!
HONEY, HE'S
A REALLY NICE GUY.
NO, HE'S NOT!
HE'S A JERK.
HE'S A DUMB JOCK.
NO, HE'S NOT.
YOU JUST DON'T KNOW
HIM VERY WELL.
I KNOW HIM
BETTER THAN YOU DO,
BELIEVE ME.
I DOUBT THAT.
WE'VE BEEN SEEING
EACH OTHER FOR
A LITTLE WHILE NOW.
WHAT? WHY DIDN' YOU TELL ME?
BECAUSE I DIDN'T WAN YOU TO GET UPSET.
I WAS JUST WAITING
TO SEE IF IT WAS
SERIOUS OR NOT.
IT'S SERIOUS?
I THINK SO.
YOU GOTTA--
YOU GOTTA--
YOU GOTTADUMP HIM.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
WHO'S THAT?
HOW MUCH DO
TICKETS COST?
NEVER TOUR.
I HEARD THIS IS
GONNA BE THEIR
LAST TOUR EVER.
I HEAR FLEETWOOD MAC
IS AMAZING IN CONCERT.
I HEARD STEVIE NICKS
IS A WITCH.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I DON'T KNOW.
SHE DOES WITCH STUFF.
SHE CASTS SPELLS
ON PEOPLE.
I HEARD SHE CAS A LOVE SPELL ON
LINDSAY BUCKINGHAM.
I LIKE
ALL HER SHAWLS.
MAYBE I SHOULD
BE A WITCH.
CUT OFF A LOCK
OF DANIEL'S HAIR
AND STICK IT TO
A VOODOO DOLL.
THAT WAY, WHENEVER
HE GETS OUT OF LINE,
I'LL JUST JAB HIM
WITH A PIN,
AND HE'LL SHUT UP.
I DON'T THINK SO.
VOODOO'S PRETTY SERIOUS.
WELL, I'M
PRETTY SERIOUS.
IT'S ABOUT TIME
I HAD SOME
SUPERNATURAL POWERS.
[LARGE CLUNK]
WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT?
I THINK YOU
HIT SOMETHING.
NO.
IT'S MY SHOCKS
OR SOMETHING ARE
OUT OF WHACK.
I DON'T KNOW.
DANIEL WAS WORKING
ON MY CAR.
I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK IT COULD'VE
BEEN A SQUIRREL.
WE SHOULD TURN AROUND.
LINDSAY, WE
DON'T HAVE TIME.
THE WORLD
WILL SURVIVE WITH
ONE LESS SQUIRREL.
ONE OF MY
FAVORITE CUSTOMERS.
HE'S A REGULAR.
HONEY,
THE SOUP WAS COLD.
I MEAN,
I'D BE MAD, TOO.
NO, THAT IS
NOT MY FAULT.
I DO NOT COOK IT.
I SERVE IT.
HEY, BILL--
GREATEST MOVIE
OF ALL TIME?
UH-UHROCKY II.
IT IS.
ROCKY II.
MUCH BETTER THAN
THE FIRST ONE.
THAT CARL WEATHERS
HE'S RIPPED.
HE'S GOT THE ABS, BUDDY--
THLLLT--THE SIX-PACK.
DOING SOMETHING.
WELL, SWEETIE,
YOU JUST SAW
A MOVIE RECENTLY.
WHAT WAS IT?
A MOVIE CALLED
STRIPES.
I SAW THAT.
DID YOU LIKE IT?
COME ON.
BILL MURRAY'S
A WISEASS.
SOMEBODY OUGHTA
SMACK SOME RESPEC INTO THAT GUY.
BILL MURRAY'S
THE FUNNIEST MAN
ON THE PLANET.
I, UMGUESS IF
YOU'RE A COMEDIAN,
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE A WISEASS, HUH?
GLORIA,
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN BILL
IN GYM CLASS TODAY.
BUDDY, I'M TELLING YOU,
YOU APPLY YOURSELF,
YOU'LL BE PLAYING FOR
THE SCHOOL TYOU GOT THE HEIGHT FOR IT.
SWEETIE, MAYBE BEN
COULD GIVE YOU
SOME PRIVATE LESSONS
OR SOMETHING.
WHO'S BEN?
EH-HEHHE IS.
BENFREDRICKS.
EXCUSE ME.
I HAVE
TO USE THE RESTROOM.
WE DON'T HAVE
A RESTROOM.
WE HAVE A TOILET.
JUST CALM DOWN.
THEY'RE STOLEN
HALL PASSES
IT'S FINE.
HA HA HA!
HEY, MILLIE,
WHAT'S WRONG?
GOLIATH'S DEAD.
OH, GOD, MILLIE.
[SNORTS]
WHO'S GOLIATH?
GOLIATH'S HER DOG.
WHAT HAPPENED?
SOME MANIAC RAN OVER HIM
LAST NIGHT WITH THEIR CAR.
GOD, MILLIE
SOMEONE HIT HIM
WITH A CAR?
THAT'S HORRIBLE.
I'M SO SORRY.
HE MUST'VE GOTTEN OUT.
[WEEPING] MY DAD FOUND
HIM ON THE STREE
RIGHT BETWEEN
OUR HOUSES.
THE WORST PART IS
THEY DIDN'T EVEN STOP.
WHO WOULD DO THAT?
WELL, I GOTTA
GO TO CLASS.
I HAVE A TEST.
SEE YA.
YEAH, SEE YA,
MILLIE.
OH, MY GOD.
LINDSAY
WE KILLED MILLIE'S DOG.
HEY, GUYS
I KILLED MILLIE'S DOG.
LIKE, WITH
YOUR BARE HANDS?
NO.
I RAN IT OVER.
OH.
YOU'RE PRETTY SICK.
I DIDN'T DO I ON PURPOSE, ***.
YEAH, IT WAS
AN ACCIDENT.
I ALWAYS SAY
GIRL PLUS CAR
EQUALS DEAD ANIMAL.
HOW TRUE.
WE HAVE TO
TELL MILLIE.
WHY?
IT'S NOT GONNA BRING
HER DOG BACK, LINDSAY.
IT'LL JUS UPSET HER MORE.
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU
KILLED A HUMAN BEING.
IT'S JUST A DOG.
IT'S EVEN WORSE, KEN.
I LOVE DOGS.
WHY? DOGS SUCK.
THEY'RE STUPID,
AND THEY SMELL,
AND THEY'RE UGLY.
THEY DON'T EVEN
LIKE US PEOPLE.
THEY PRETEND TO,
BUT THEY'RE JUS KISSING OUR ***
SO WE'LL FEED 'EM.
I AIN'T BUYING
INTO THAT HOODWINK.
OH, MAN.
LINDSAYLOOK.
OH, GOD.
POOR MILLIE.
SHE'S JUST
SITTING THERE
BY HERSELF.
I AM TELLING YOU,
MASHIS NOT FUNNY.
I HEARD RADAR O'REILLY
HAS, LIKE, NO FINGERS.
THAT'S WHY HE ALWAYS
CARRIES A CLIPBOARD.
HEY, HEY, BILLY!
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M STILL STUFFED
FROM YOUR MOM'S POT ROAST.
I COULDN'T EVEN EA BREAKFAST THIS MORNING,
BUT I'LL TELL YOU,
IT WASGOO-OOD!
I'LL SEE YOU IN
GYM CLASS, BIG GUY.
WHOA
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT?
WHAT--I--WH-WHAT?
HE ATE YOUR MOM'S
POT ROAST?
IREALLY DON' WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.
COME ON, BILL.
YOU HAVE TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
YOU CAN'T TELL
ANYONE, OK?
WHAT? TELL US.
MY MOM ISKINDA DATING
MR.
FREDRICKS.
DON'T SAY A WORD.
I DIDN'T SAY
ANYTHING.
GOOD.
DON'T.
HEY.
HOW'S IT GOING?
OK.
YOU?
I DON'T KNOW.
PERLICK'S GONNA
KILL ME.
I DIDN'T DO ANY
OF THE ASSIGNMENT.
ME, EITHER.
YOU KIDDING ME?
I WAS
UP ALL NIGHT CRYING.
YOU KNOW
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
I HAD A DOG
THAT DIED ONCE, TOO.
WHAT WAS HIS NAME?
BOBO.
HE WAS SO SMART.
HE USED TO SI WITH ME AND WATCH TV
ALL DAY LONG.
HE LOVED TV.
GOLIATH USED TO ATTACK THE TV
IF THERE WAS A CAT ON IT.
HA HA HA!
SO, WHAT HAPPENED?
WELLHE WAS
EPILEPTIC
SO, ALL OF A SUDDEN,
HE WOULD START TO
FROTH AT THE MOUTH,
AND THEN HIS
LITTLE LEGS WOULD
GET ALL TENSE,
AND HE WOULD STAR SHAKING AND THEN
POOP HIMSELF.
AND GET HIS PAWS IN
THE POOP AND GET POOP
ALL OVER THE PLACE.
AWPOOR PUPPY.
MY PARENTS
COULDN'T TAKE IT.
THEY DIDN' EVEN TELL ME
THAT THEY WERE GOING
TO PUT HIM TO SLEEP.
ONE DAY, I GOT HOME,
ANDHE WAS GONE.
I'M PUTTING GOLIATH TO RES UNDER HIS FAVORITE TREE.
DO YOU WANNA COME?
YEAH.
WELLHERE COMES
BILL'S FUTURE DAD.
OH, COME ON, NEAL.
WE PROMISED BILL THA WE WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
WE CAN MAKE JOKES
TO EACH OTHER,
JUST NOT TO BILL.
BESIDES, I CAN KINDA
SEE WHY MR.
FREDRICKS
IS DATING HER.
SHE IS KINDA HOT.
OH, GOD! SHE'S
YOUR FRIEND'S MOTHER.
Fred
WEIRDO.
WE H
ricks:
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
AVE SOME POTENTIAL
BASKETBALL SUPERSTARS
IN THIS CLASS,
SO TODAY, WE'RE GONNA WORK
ON FUNDAMENTALS, ALL RIGHT?
WHO KNOWS?
MAYBE ONE OF YOU
MIGHT EVEN MAKE
THE SCHOOL TEAM
NEXT YEAR.
BUT, UH, LET'S
WARM UP, ALL RIGHT?
THE GYM.
COME ON.
MR.
FREDRICKS?
YES, BILL?
I CAN'T RUN.
WHY?
I HAVE BETTER
THINGS TO DO.
EXCUSE ME?
I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO
THAN RUN AROUND A GYM
AND SHOOT A STUPID BALL
IN A HOOP.
OH, REALLY, BILL?
WHAT BETTER THINGS
DO YOU HAVE TO DO?
ANYTHING.
PICK MY NOSE
AND EAT IT
OR READ THE COMICS
OR GO TO THE BATHROOM.
UH, ALL THOSE ARE
BETTER THAN GYM CLASS.
HEH! HE
IS SO DEAD.
KILL HIM,
MR.
FREDRICKS.
SHUT UP, ALAN.
FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE,
SHUT YOUR BIG, STINKIN'
TRAP, OK?
HE WAS THE ONE--
I'M TALKING TO YOU.
SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
I'VE HAD IT TH
THE CONSTANT COMMENTS AND
THE INCESSANT CACKLING.
YOU GOT ME?
OK.
BILL, YOU'RE GONNA
RUN THE LAPS
AND YOU'RE GONNA
DO THE DRILLS.
YOU KNOW WHY?
'CAUSE THIS
IS MY GYM.
I'M THE TEACHER.
YOU'RE THE STUDENT.
OK? SIT DOWN--
YOU CAN'T TELL ME
WHAT TO DO.
YOU KEEP WALKING,
YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE,
MR.
HAVERCHUCK!
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO,
CALL MY MOM?
HEY, BILL!
LEAVE ME ALONE.
[WHISPERING] I never
thought I'd say this,
but Haverchuck's the King!
Heh heh heh.
Millie: YOU WERE
ALWAYS THERE FOR ME,
MY ENTIRE LIFE,
BUT I KNOW YOU'RE
WITH JESUS NOW,
AND YOU'RE HAPPY IN HEAVEN
WITH ALL THE OTHER DOGS,
AND YOU CAN RUN AND PLAY,
AND YOU NEVER HAVE TO BE
ON A LEASH AGAIN
'CAUSE THERE ARE
NO LEASHES IN HEAVEN.
YOU'RE MY FAVORITE PUPPY.
I LOVE YOU, GOLIATH.
LINDSAY, YOU WANNA
SAY SOMETHING?
HUH?
DO YOU WANNA SAY
SOMETHING TO GOLIATH?
UMNO.
THAT'S OK.
LINDSAY
SAY SOMETHING
TO GOLIATH.
UM
GOLIATH
YOU WERE A SWEET DOG,
AND
YOU HAD REALLY NICE FUR
ANDTHERE'S NO LEASHES
IN HEAVEN
I ALREADY SAID THAT.
OH.
UMI REMEMBER WHEN
MY MOM USED TO COME OVER
IN HER FURRY BOOTS
AND YOU WOULD
HUMP HER FOOT
HA!
AND WE THOUGH THAT WAS FUNNY
AND THEN YOU GOT SPAYED,
AND YOU DIDN'T DO I ANYMORE.
AND WE'RE NOT SAD NOW
BECAUSE
YOU LIVED A VERY LONG
LONG, HAPPY LIFE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
A LONG
AND HAPPY LIFE.
[LOVE, REIGN O'ER ME
BY THE WHO PLAYS]
ONLY LOVE
CAN MAKE IT RAIN
THE WAY THE BEACH
IS KISSED BY THE SEA
ONLY LOVE CAN MAKE IT RAIN
LIKE THE SWEAT OF LOVERS
LAYING IN THE FIELDS
LOVE
REIGN O'ER ME
LOVE
REIGN O'ER ME
REIGN O'ER ME
REIGN O'ER ME
SELLS T-SHIRTS
AND, LIKE,
CONCERT STUFF.
HEY, LINDS,
YOUR OLD MAN
MAKE UP HIS MIND YE ABOUT THE CONCERT?
HUH? NAH,
BUT COUNT ME IN.
HE'S JUST MAKING
ME SWEAT IT.
AFTER SCHOOL,
KIM AND I ARE GOING
TO THE RECORD STORE.
YOU WANNA COME?
UH
WHAT?
I'M GONNA BUY
SOME WHO ALBUMS
SO I CAN SING ALONG
TO THE CONCERT.
YOU'RE GOING
TO THE WHO CONCERT?
MILLIE, WHAT ABOU YOUR PARENTS?
EVER SINCE MY DOG DIED,
THEY'VE BEEN LETTING
ME DO ANYTHING.
WELL, I'M GONNA GO
HOME AND STUDY FOR
MY TRIG TEST.
RIGHT, MILLIE?
DON'T YOU THINK
YOU SHOULD STUDY?
OH, YEAH.
THAT'S RIGHT.
I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.
WELL, YOU KNOW
BLOW IT OFF.
YOU'RE IN MOURNING.
YOU CAN'T BE EXPECTED
TO DO HOMEWORK.
GOOD POINT.
I GUESS I'M GONNA
BLOW IT OFF.
OH, MY GOD.
I AM SO BAD.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL
MEET YOU OUT FRON RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL,
AND WE'LL GO
TO THE MALL.
AND YOU'RE GONNA
WEAR YOUR BIG COAT,
RIGHT?
THE ONE WITH
THE POCKETS?
OK.
SEE YOU, LINDS.
SHE LOVES MY BIG COAT.
SHE'S BEEN TALKING
ABOUT IT ALL DAY.
MILLIE, PLEASE DON' WEAR YOUR BIG COAT.
YOU KNOW, LINDSAY,
WHEN YOU STARTED
HANGING OUT WITH THEM,
I FELT KINDA BAD FOR YOU
BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GONNA TURN INTO A DIRTBAG.
BUT THEN I REALIZED THA YOU WERE JUST EXPLORING,
AND NOW I GUESS I'M
KIND OF EXPLORING, TOO.
[INTRO TOSQUEEZE BOX
BY THE WHO PLAYS]
IT'S KINDA CATCHY.
YEAH.
I LIKE
THE BANJO.
MAMA'S GOT A SQUEEZE BOX
SHE WEARS ON HER CHES
AND WHEN DADDY COMES HOME,
HE NEVER GETS NO RES WHAT'D HE SAY? SQUEEZE BOX?
'CAUSE SHE'S PLAYING
ALL NIGH IS IT JUST ME,
OR DOES THA SOUND FILTHY?
HONEY.
AND THE MUSIC'S ALL RIGH I THINK IT'S ABOU AN ACCORDION.
MAMA'S GOT A SQUEEZE BOX,
DADDY NEVER SLEEPS AT NIGH
WHAT?
IT'S NICE.
SHE GOES IN AND OU AND IN AND OU
AND IN AND OU AND IN AND OU "IN AND OUT"?
THE INSTRUMENT.
SHE'S PLAYING ALL NIGH JEAN, THAT IS NO ABOUT AN ACCORDION.
AND THE MUSIC'S
ALL RIGHT
THAT ISIN AND OUT!
YEAH--IN AND OUT.
IN AND OUT?! IN ANDOFF
IS WHAT IT'S GOING!
DADDY NEVER SLEEPS
AT NIGH
HEY, KIM.
OH, HEY.
HEY, WILL YOU
DO ME A FAVOR?
WILL YOU GIVE THIS
TO KEN?
YOU'RE COPYING
KEN'SHOMEWORK?
ATTEMPTING TO.
HE WRITES LIKE
A MENTAL PATIENT.
I WAS THINKING,
WE SHOULD TELL MILLIE
THE TRUTH.
WE CAN'T DO THAT.
WE HAVE TO.
WHY?
BECAUSE SHE'S GONNA WIND UP
GETTING INTO TROUBLE.
WHY? 'CAUSE SHE'S
HANGING OUT WITH US?
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
YOU'RE ONLY HANGING OU WITH HER 'CAUSE YOU
FEEL GUILTY.
NO, I'M NOT.
SHE'S KINDA FUNNY.
YEAH, BUT YOU DON' KNOW MILLIE.
SHE'S REALLY SMART,
AND SHE REALLY
LOVES CHURCH,
AND SHE LOVES
HER FAMILY A LOT--
AND WHAT, WE'RE ***?
NO.
THAT'S NO WHAT I'M SAYING.
WELL, WHAT ARE
YOU SAYING, LINDSAY?
I JUST DON'T THINK
WE SHOULD INTERFERE
WITH HER LIFE.
WHAT ARE YOU SO WORRIED
ABOUT ANYWAY, YOU KNOW?
THAT MILLIE'S GONNA STAR HANGING OUT WITH US
AND THEN YOU'RE NOT GONNA
HAVE ANYONE TO RUN TO
WHEN YOU GET SCARED
OF YOUR BAD FRIENDS?
AND YO
KIM.
U KNOW WHAT,
IF YOU DO TELL HER,
I'LL KICK YOUR ***.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT ELSE I COULD DO.
I MEAN, IF HE HATES ME,
HE HATES ME.
HE'S JUST HAVING
A REALLY HARD TIME
WITH THIS.
WELL, SO AM I.
HONEY, YOU JUST NEED
TO SPEND MORE TIME
WITH HIM.
YOU NEED TO GE TO KNOW EACH OTHER
A LITTLE BIT BETTER.
LOOK, HE DOESN' WANT TO KNOW ME.
HE DOESN'T CARE.
OH, COME ON.
DON'T BE
SUCH A BABY.
COME HERE.
COME HERE.
WHAT?
YOU SHOULD TAKE HIM
SOMEPLACE SPECIAL.
YOU KNOW, SHOW HIM
THAT YOU LIKE HIM.
WHAT, LIKE THE MOVIES?
I'M NOT SEEING
THATSTRIPESCRAP AGAIN.
HE'S BEEN BUGGING ME
TO TAKE HIM
TO THIS GO-CART CITY
PLACE,
BUT I KEEP
SAYING NO.
MAYBE YOU COULD
TAKE HIM THERE.
REALLY? I LOVE
GO-CART CITY.
YOU DO?
I DO.
YEAH, I'LL TAKE HIM THERE.
REALLY?
YEAH.
HE'S A
HE'S FAT.
GYM TEACHER,
AND HE'S NOT EVEN
IN GOOD SHAPE.
AND
HE NEVER RUNS,
YOU NEVER SEE HIM
PLAY THE GAMES WITH US.
Neal: YOU SHOULD
TELL YOUR MOM
TO DUMP HIM.
EVEN IF HE WASN' THE BIGGEST JERK
IN THE WORLD,
HE HAS
A TERRIBLE JOB.
HE'S A GYM TEACHER.
THERE'S NO
UPWARD MOBILITY.
IT'S NOT LIKE
YOU CAN BECOME
C.
E.
O.
OF A SCHOOL.
YEAH.
MY MOM REALLY
LIKES HIM, YOU KNOW?
AND HE ACTS DIFFEREN AROUND HER THAN HE
DOES AROUND US.
HE'S ALL SWEET AND PHONY.
IT'S SICK.
MAYBE--MAYBE HE'S NO SUCH A BAD GUY.
EXCUSE ME?
HE LET YOU BE CAPTAIN
IN GYM CLASS.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'LL JUST STAR CALLING HIM "DADDY" NOW.
THANKS FOR REMINDING ME.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Bill: COME IN.
HEY, GUYS.
HEY, MR.
FREDRICKS.
HELLO.
HI, FREDRICKS.
UH, LISTEN, BILL,
I WAS JUST WONDERING,
YO
MAYBE TOMORROW,
U MIGHT WANT TO GO
TO GO-CART CITY WITH ME.
UM
WE'D LOVE TO GO.
"WE"? UH
OK.
ALL RIGHT.
WE CAN ALL GO.
YOU WANNA GO, SAM?
SURE.
ALL RIGHT.
OK, BILL?
I GUESS.
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
ALL RIGHT.
THE 4 MEN
ARE
GONNA HAVE SOME FUN.
THANKS A LOT, NEAL.
WHAT?
NO ONE ELSE IS GONNA
TAKE US THERE.
IT'S ALL THE WAY
OUT IN THE BOONIES.
SO, YOU KNOW I DIDN' WANNA GO WITH HIM.
WE'LL JUST DITCH HIM
AND RIDE GO-CARTS
ALL DAY.
NO WAY.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
LINDSAY, THAT SONG
IS PORNOGRAPHIC.
DAD, COME ON.
DON'T BE A PRUDE.
IF I WAS SUCH A PRUDE,
YOU WOULDN'T EXIST.
FINE.
THEN I'M GONNA
BE THE ONLY KID
IN THE WHOLE SCHOOL
WHO CAN'T GO
TO A ROCK CONCERT.
Jean: ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
MAYBE WE COULD
CHAPERONE YOU.
YOU KNOW, SIT BEHIND YOU,
BE REAL QUIET.
IT COULD BE FUN.
I DON'T WANNA DO THAT.
DAD, LOOK, I UNDERSTAND
YOUR CONCERNS.
I HAVE THEM MYSELF,
BUT I
I WOULDN'T BE
FIGHTING YOU.
IT'S JUST THA MILLIE IS GOING.
MILLIE IS?
YEAH.
HER PARENTS
SAID SHE COULD GO,
AND I JUST SORT OF
WANTED TO GO
TO KEEP AN EYE
ON HER.
OH, HONEY, YOU REALLY
ARE SUCH A GOOD RL,
AREN'T YOU?
YEAH.
I CAN
HANDLE MYSELF.
HONEY,
MILLIE IS GOING.
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
GO.
YOU JUST KEEP THOSE BOYS
AWAY FROM YOUR ACCORDION.
SO, FORGET BILL RUSSELL.
GREAT.
GIVE HIM
THE TROPHIES, WHATEVER.
YEAH, HE WON
THE CHAMPIONSHIPS.
I TELL YOU,
THEY CHANGED THE GAME
FOR ONE MAN--
WILT CHAMBERLAIN,
WILT THE STILT.
WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE
BASKETBALL PLAYER?
COME ON.
FAVORITE PLAYER.
NEAL.
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T WATCH
BASKETBALL.
NO? SAM.
UM
HAVLICEK?
DR.
J?
FROM THE A.
B.
A.
?
GOT YOU GUYS
SOMETHING.
HERE YOU GO, BILL.
COOL.
ALL RIGHT.
THANKS.
JUST WHA I ALWAYS WANTED.
DOODY.
ISN'T IT CRAZY?
I GOT I FROM THE JOKE SHOP.
I HEARD YOU GUYS
WERE INTO COMEDY,
SO I PICKED YOU UP
A COUPLE OF THINGS.
HERE YOU GO, NEAL.
ALL RIGHT! VOMIT.
IT KINDA LOOKS
LIKE PIZZA.
I DON'T HAVE
THIS ONE.
OH!
[LAUGHING]
HEY.
HEY, NEAL,
I GOT YOU A PRESENT.
ISN'T THAT GREAT?
Sam: HEY, BILL,
YOU WANT A DOLLAR?
DO YOU WANT A DOLLAR?
NO, THANKS.
[ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYS]
I SAID, LADY L,
LET YOUR SOUL BE FREE
YOU CLOSED YOUR EYES,
AND YOU WOULDN'T SEE
THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD
EASE YOUR PAIN WAS ME
AS I RIDE ON MY HORSE
THROUGH THE COUNTRYSIDE
I SAID, LADY L,
LET ME GIVE YOU A RIDE
BUT AS I PULLED
THE REINS OF THAT HORSE
SHE PULLED THE REINS
OF HER SOUL
I'M OUTTA CONTROL,
LADY L
LADY L
LADY L
YOU COULDN'T SEE
THROUGH MY CLOUD OF SMOKE
YOU HELD MY HEAR
NOW IT'S BLOODY
AND BROKE
AND IS YOUR
GREEN ARMY JACKE
THE ONLY THING KEEPIN'
YOU WARM TONIGHT?
LADY L
LADY L
LADY L
SHE'S MY LADY L
[FALSETTO]
LADY L
LADY L
LA-LA-LA-LA
LA-LA-LA-LA
THAT'S THE SOUND OF L
YOU'RE MY LADY L
YEAH
WHAT'D YOU THINK?
WELL, YOU KNOW,
I--I--I
I THOUGH I WOULD HATE IT,
BUT, YOU KNOW,
I KINDA LIKED IT.
REALLY?
NO.
MAN, THAT WAS TERRIBLE.
"LADY L"?
SEHER REAL NAME.
YOU SHOULDN'T USE
YOURREAL NAME,
YOU'RE WRITING THAT STUFF.
WELL, I THINK AS LONG
AS THAT I AM USING
MY REAL EMOTIONS,
THAT THAT'S ALL
THAT MATTERS.
LOTS OF WACKOS USE
THEIR REAL EMOTIONS.
[WHISTLES]
WHOO-HOO!
GO-CART CITY, BOYS!
HUH? WHO'S THE MAN?
YOU ARE!
YOU ARE!
THIS IS SO GREAT!
AOWW! GO-CART CITY!
HUH? ALL RIGHT?
HEY, THANKS SO MUCH,
MR.
FREDRICKS.
THIS IS SO COOL.
YEAH.
THANKS, MR.
FREDRICKS.
MY DAD WOULD NEVER
TAKE ME HERE.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
HEY, GET READY TO RACE,
'CAUSE I'M NOT GOIN'
EASY ON YOU GUYS.
WELL, YOU'RE GONNA
BE THE LOSER.
TR
YOU THINK SO?
IPLE ICE CREAM CONE
SAYS I KICK YOUR BUTTS.
OH! YOU'RE ON!
ALL RIGHT.
YOU IN, BILL?
YEAH.
LET'S RACE.
WHOO-HOO!
I'M GOIN' HOME
AND WHEN I WANNA
GO HOME
I'M GOIN' MOBILE
OH, YEAH!
WHOO!
GOIN' MOBILE
KEEP ME MOVIN'
NO! NO! NO WAY!
I DON'T CARE
ABOUT POLLUTION
I
'M AN AIR-CONDITIONED
GYPSY
I GOT YOU!
THAT'S MY SOLUTION
WATCH THE POLICE AND
THE TAX MAN MISS ME
I'M MOBILE
WHOOO, YEAH!
EE-EE!
MOBILE, MOBILE,
MOBILE, YEAH
Fredricks: HERE I COME!
BILL, THAT WAS
INCREDIBLE!
BILL, THA WAS SO COOL!
YOU SHOULD'VE
SEEN YOURSELF
SPIN OUT.
THE ICE CREAM
IS MINE.
WHAT IS IT, BILL?
I HATE YOU!
YOU WHAT?
YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO WIN.
ALL YOU CARE ABOU IS WINNING.
YOU DON'T CARE AT ALL
ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S
FEELINGS.
I'M SORRY, BILL.
I
[THE W'SDROWNEDPLAYS]
I AM NOT THE ACTOR
THIS CAN'T BE THE SCENE
HEY, GUYS.
HAVE YOU
SEEN MILLIE?
NO.
OK.
Daniel: HEY.
HEY.
HOW DO YOU LIKE
THE MAGIC BUS?
WOW.
IT'S AMAZING.
YEAH.
HEY, COME BACK.
I GOT A WHO-DOG
WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.
OK.
HEY.
HEY.
HAVE YOU
SEEN MILLIE?
YEAH,
SHE'S RIGHT THERE,
PLAYING FRISBEE
WITH STROKER.
YOU KNOW,
SHE'S PRETTY HOT.
I LIKE IT WHEN
THE GOOD GIRLS
CROSS OVER.
SHUT UP.
KEEP AWAY FROM HER.
GOD.
WHO ARE YOU,
HER MOM?
HEY, MILLIE.
MILLIE?!
MILLIE!
Mark: UH-OH.
SKINNY'S IN TROUBLE.
MILLIE.
HONEY,
I THOUGHT WE AGREED
THAT YOU WERE NOT GOING
TO GO TO THIS CONCERT.
I DIDN'T.
YOU DID.
WELL, YOU'RE NOT GOING.
YES, I AM.
DON'T TALK BACK TO ME.
MOM, THIS IS IMPORTAN TO ME.
I'M A STRAIGHT "A" STUDENT.
I NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG.
HONEY,
YOU'RE JUST A KID.
MOM, I'M 15.
YOU DON'T KNOW
THE KIND OF THINGS
THAT COULD HAPPEN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU CAN'T TRUST ME.
IT'S NOT LIKE
I'M GONNA DROP ACID
OR HAVE SEX
IN THE PARKING LOT.
MILLIE!
YOU
YOU GET IN THIS CAR.
I AM TAKING YOU HOME
RIGHT NOW.
NO.
JUST LVE ME ALONE.
FINE.
YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD
AND DO WHAT YOU
WANT TO DO.
OBVIOUSLY,
YOU DON'T CARE
WHAT I THINK.
Mark: WHAT A MOUTH
ON THAT CHICK!
THAT'S IT!
YOU TELL MAMA!
TELL HER HOW IT IS!
I'M SORRY, BILL.
I DIDN'T MEAN
TO CRASH INTO YOU.
IT'S A WET TRACK
TODAY.
I DON'T KNOW.
WE JUST DON'T KNOW
EACH OTHER, DO WE?
I MEAN, I THOUGH WE KNEW EACH OTHER
IN CLASS THIS YEAR,
BUT WE DON'T KNOW
EACH OTHER AT ALL.
BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU
THINK OF ME.
YOU THINK
I'M A STUPID JOCK
GYM TEACHER, RIGHT?
BING! YOU--YOU'RE
PROBABLY RIGHT.
BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO--
I MEAN,
YOU KNOW WHAT I AM?
I'M A GUY WHO LOVES
YOUR MOTHER VERY MUCH.
SHE'S A SPECIAL WOMAN.
I LOVE HER.
YOU KNOW,
SHE'S HAD A HARD TIME
THE PAST FEW YEARS.
WHAT DO YOU
KNOW ABOUT IT?
LY WHAT SHE TELLS ME.
BUT I THINK SHE DESERVES
TO BE HAPPY,
AND, YOU KNOW,
I CAN MAKE HER HAPPY.
I'VE NEVER CARED
ABOUT ANYBODY
AS MUCH AS I CARE
ABOUT YOUR MOM.
I MIGHT NOT BE
AS BAD A GUY
AS YOU THINK I AM.
HEY.
HEY.
I'M REALLY GLAD
THAT YOU COULD COME.
HUH? OH.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
I LOVE THE WHO.
PETE TOWNSHEND'S
REALLY BEEN INSPIRING ME
AS A SONGWRITER.
OH, REALLY?
YEAH.
ACTUALLY, I WROTE
A SONG FOR YOU
IF YOU
WANT TO HEAR IT.
NUH-UH.
YEAH.
CHECK IT OUT!
WHOO! UH
UH, HEY,
LOOK AT ME!
I'M PETE TOWNSHEND!
ALL RIGHT, TOWNSHEND!
WHOO!
YEAH!
Daniel: YEAH, MAN!
TONIGHT'S GONNA ROCK!
Mark: NICE!
YEAH, KEN!
SMASH ME
A PIECE OF THAT!
THAT--HE--HE'S
A CRACK-UP, RIGHT?
YEAAAAAH!
THIS IS THE BIGGEST FAVOR
I EVER DID FOR YOU.
Nick: YOU'RE BUYING ME
A NEW GUITAR, MAN.
HEY.
YOU OK?
I'VE NEVER SEEN HER
LIKE THAT.
I FEEL KINDA SICK.
HEY, WHO WANTS A BEER?
ANYBODY?
I'LL HAVE
ONE OF THOSE.
GO AHEAD.
SNAG IT.
HERE YOU GO.
OPENER.
MILLIE,
YOU DON'T DRINK.
NOW'S A GOOD TIME
TO START.
BOTTOMS UP.
I KILLED
YOUR DOG!
WHAT?!
UM
I WAS THE ONE
THAT RAN HIM OVER.
I'M SO SORRY,
MILLIE.
THAT'S NOT VERY FUNNY.
I'M NOT KIDDING,
MILLIE.
IT'S TRUE.
WHY DIDN'T YOU
SAY SOMETHING?
WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL ME?
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, WE DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO.
LINDSAY?
I'M REALLY SORRY,
MILLIE.
SHE'S REALLY MAD.
GOOD.
I'M GONNA GO
TALK TO HER.
HEY, KIM.
THANKS.
[SEALS AND CROFTS'
SUMMER BREEZEPLAYS]
Lindsay: YOU KNOW,
I'M GLAD WE DIDN'T GO
TO THAT CONCERT.
I HEAR THEY'RE
SO NOISY, ANYWAY.
YEAH.
I HEAR
THAT THE BATHROOMS
SMELL REALLY BAD
AND THAT IT'S
NOT SAFE TO SIT.
COULD YOU IMAGINE
HOLDING IT FOR 4 HOURS?
OH!
LOOK.
I FOUND THIS
IN MY DRAWER THE OTHER DAY.
I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU MIGHT WANT IT.
WOW.
I REMEMBER THAT.
THAT'S THE DAY
GOLIATH
STOLE ALL THE STEAKS
OFF THE BARBECUE
AND ATE THEM.
OH, YEAH.
YOUR DAD WAS SO MAD.
YEAH.
HE WAS A GOOD DOG,
LINDSAY.
YEAH,
HE WAS A GOOD DOG.
Announcer: LOOKS INSIDE,
TRIES TO PUSH THE BALL
IN THE CORNER TO WARNSEY.
THERE'S NOTHING THERE
OH, I'M--
I'M SORRY, BILL.
DID YOU WAN TO WATCH SOMETHING?
DALLAS IS ON.
Bobby Ewing:
YES, I'M RIGH IN THE MIDDLE.
Pam Ewing:WELL, BOBBY--
WAIT A MINUTE.
IS IT TRUE?
YOU CAN DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
WHAT?
HONEY, IT'S LIKE
J.
R.
SAID.
I EITHER VOTE
FOR MAMA OR DADDY,
AND EITHER WAY
I LOSE.
WELL, CAN'T YOU
JUST NOT VOTE?
YES, I CAN ABSTAIN,
OR I CAN ASK
TO BE EXCUSED
FROM THE COMMITTEE;
BUT I'M NO GONNA DO IT.
THAT'S PAMELA
AND BOBBY,
J.
R.
's BROTHER.
OH, YEAH?
J.
R.
's EVIL,
SO BOBBY HAS TO
PROTECT PAMELA.
WHAT, SO--SO
BOBBY'A GOOD GUY?
YEAH.
YEAH, BUT RIGHT NOW
HE'S CAUGHT IN
A EWING LAND BATTLE.
WHAT KIND OF LANBATTLE?
WITH BOBBY, OR--
WAIT--
I'M SORRY.
IT'S OK.
I'LL TELL YOU
DURING THE COMMERCIAL.