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♪♪
MY DADDY WAS ELECTED MAYOR TWICE
AND I USED TO WALK DOWN THE STREETS HOLDING HIS HAND;
EVERYBODY'D STOP AND PAT ME ON THE HEAD AND SAY,
"HOW YOU DOING, LITTLE MAYOR?" (CHUCKLES)
YEAH, I HAD A WONDERFUL DADDY.
AND UH, WHEN I WAS ABOUT 14, HE SAYS, "SON, LOOK.
"YOU COME FROM A LONG LINE OF CHRONIC ALCOHOLICS.
"I'M AN ALCOHOLIC JUST WAITING FOR THE FIRST DRINK
AND I REFUSE TO TAKE IT."
HE SAID. "IF YOU DO, YOU'LL GET AWAY WITH IT FOR A WHILE,
BUT IT'LL DESTROY YOUR LIFE AND PROBABLY KILL YOU."
AND HE SAID, "I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER THAT."
AND I SAID, "OKAY, DADDY, I"LL GIVE IT SERIOUS THOUGHT."
I GAVE IT ENOUGH THOUGHT THAT HALLOWEEN.
I WENT TRICK-OR-TREATING WITH MY BUDDY
AND WE PASSED A HORSESHOE OF FRAT HOUSES.
THOSE KIDS KNEW WHO I WAS.
EVERYBODY KNEW WHO MY DADDY WAS.
AND ONE OF THEM FRAT BOYS SAID, "HEY, YOU EVER HAD A DRINK?"
AND I SAID, "NO, I HADN'T."
HE SAID, "NOW, YOU DRINK THIS. IT'S GONNA BURN.
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THIS."
I NEVER FELT SO GOOD IN MY LIFE.
AS LONG AS I HAD ALCOHOL IN MY SYSTEM,
I WAS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE,
A SELF-CONFIDENT, GOOD-LOOKING, WITTY HUMAN BEING.
AND IT WORKED VERY WELL FOR 40-SOME MORE YEARS OF MY LIFE.
-MUST TAKE A LOT OF SELF-DISCIPLINE TO TURN AROUND.
-WELL, IT TOOK MORE THAN THAT.
I HAD JUST BEEN RELEASED FOR MY 28TH TREATMENT FOR ALCOHOLISM.
THE DOCTOR TOLD ME WHEN I LEFT, SAID, "I'LL GIVE YOU TWO WEEKS
AND THEN I'LL READ YOUR NAME IN THE OBITUARIES."
SO I WENT TO THE CEMETERY WHERE MY MOTHER AND DADDY WERE BURIED
AND LET 'EM KNOW THAT I'M SOBER.
AIN'T GONNA DIE THIS WAY.
SO THEN I CAME ON DOWN TO A PLACE I KNEW
WHERE THERE WAS AN EXIT RAMP WHERE CARS COME AROUND.
I HELD A SIGN THERE; THAT'S WHERE I MET YOU.
EVERY TIME YOU CAME BY,
YOU'D STICK OUT A $2.00 BILL AND A CAN OF TUNA FISH.
AND IT WAS NEW YEAR'S EVE AND I HAD NOWHERE TO GO.
COULDN'T DRINK, EVERYBODY'S PARTYING.
AND YOU WALKED ON OVER AND SAID, "REMEMBER ME?"
I SAID, "YEAH, YOU'RE THE $2.00 BILL MAN."
HE SAID, "I'M GONNA TAKE YOU HOME WITH ME
FOR A NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?"
I SAID, "I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD WORK, SIR.
"YOU GOT A WIFE?
"SHE'S GONNA HAVE A LOT TO SAY TO YOU ABOUT BRINGING
A HOMELESS, SMELLY-OLD MAN HOME WITH YOU."
YOU SAID, "MY WIFE WILL RECEIVE YOU WELL."
I WENT TO YOUR HOME AND HAD A SHOWER
AND YOU GAVE ME SOME CLEAN CLOTHES
AND WE SIT DOWN AT THE TABLE AND I TOLD YOU SOME STORIES
ABOUT WHO I REALLY WAS AND WHO MY DADDY WAS.
THERE WAS A LOT MORE TO ME THAN YOU MIGHT IMAGINE.
-I HOPE I WAS A LITTLE BIT OF A HELP ALONG YOUR PATH.
-WELL, YOU KNOW, DAVID,
WITHOUT YOUR KINDNESS, AND OF YOUR FAMILY AND ALL,
I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD SAY I'D HAVE GONE BACK DRINKING AGAIN,
BUT I SAY, IT WOULD'VE BEEN ROUGH.
♪♪