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Hi, my
name is Lareena Smith, and this is my movie.
I was born a member of the Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, which is the Mormon Church
And I was raised in Utah.
All my life I've dreamed of being a science fiction writer and
someday making blockbuster feature films.
But I also believed that to be happy, I had to
follow God's will. So I gave up my writing
and set out on a quest to find God.
(Chinese) I spent
18 months on a mission in Taipei, Taiwan. After I
came home, I converted to Mormon fundamentalism,
which looks forward to Zion, a utopia without pain, sorrow
or sickness. I think everyone wants to be involved
in a greater cause or change the world somehow.
I was looking for meaning. Polygamy was just a side effect.
And anyway, I had to get married, right?
But it seemed like the good ones were already taken.
Then, I met Bruce.
"Hi, how are you?" "Good."
He seemed like the perfect man.
Spiritual, intelligence, and dedicated to
his wife and six kids.
Bruce introduced me to fundamentalism.
He believed that to be saved in the highest
heaven, he had to live polygamy.
He asked me to marry him, and become his second wife.
"Have you read this?" "I have actually, it makes a lot of sense."
I became convinced that this was was God wanted me to do.
The three of us talked about the marriage. She told me that she
wanted it. Otherwise, I wouldn't have done it.
I was 27 at the time.
We wanted to stay in the LDS church, so we agreed to keep the marriage a secret.
(conversation)
(voice offscreen) "You're the one with two wives!"
"You knew what you were getting into. I told you. I explained everything about this to you."
"It's not working. Can't you see that?"
"It's not going to happen." "Listen...
They exected instant spirituality. Instead their lives were disrupted.
Three weeks into the marriage, Bruce stopped sleeping with me.
Seven months later, he gave me a note saying that it wasn't working out...
and that I should pack my stuff and go. "Don't pout," he said.
Three and a half years later, he came back. And we tried...
again for five months. But Bruce had his own
problems. And again our marriage didn't work out.
Maybe it was all for the best.
In spite of this small setback, I hung on to my beliefs.
And my next polygamist marriage was more...
normal. I joined the True and Living Church in
Manti, Utah. People I meet ask me how does
a man manage more than one wife.
One strategy is to alternate sleeping with wife every other night.
I knew a man with 5 wives and spent 2 nights with each one
in a set cycle. At the end of it, he spent two nights alone.
For a bit of a rest. My second husband was single...
when I married him and the first six months were bliss (tv sounds)
(tv sounds) Then he married a second wife
a beautiful, 17 year old girl.
I was 35 years old, so she got a lot of attention.
When they got a revelation that they had been my parents in a previous life,
I decided it was time to move on.
My third husband did better. He believed in equality..
and I appreciated that.
He spent the nights fairly, but he was more stern and critical.
I think men who live polygamy...
and want to succeed, should spend equal time as much as possible.
"We know that obedience..." Some polygamists believe that they can do...
whatever they want and the woman should just put up with it.
Marriage is not about romance, it's a duty.
It's hard for most women to imagine living...
with their husbands other wives. But sister-wives often live...
together in the same house.
For men, the advantage is...
that he can save on rent, and his whole...
family is together. (singing: There is beauty all around)
Women, they can share the cooking, cleaning and babysitting
The disadvantage is obvious: jealousy.
A lot of women don't like sharing space with another wife.
One of my...
sister-wives delighted in spying on me during the day, then...
tattling on me at night to our husband. That
kind of stuff drove me nuts. (Voices: "No, you..
One man had 8 wives who each had their own home.
He claimed it was worth every penny (Voices: "You do that all the time..." "You know...)
(Voices: Guys, you work on the week-end. You don't work at all!" "I work!")
"Honey, can you
come help me with the babies?
I... they're both being really fussy. I just can't hold them both at the same time.
People asked me how I felt about sharing my husband.
To tell the truth: Jealous.
But if a husband treated me fairly, then
I was okay with it and worked to get along with the other wife.
"Hey guys,"
"I got paid today" "Great. Awesome."
"Alright." Polygamy is a religious doctrine...
and jealousy is not a spiritual type of feeling.
"Here's the keys. Have a good day."
I wanted my husband to live polygamy...
because I liked the idea of an extended family with other wives...
and kids.
And I thought that polygamy would give me more freedom, since my husband would have...
other wives to take care of him. But... often the idea was better than the reality.
At the time, I was proud...
of living polygamy and having sister-wives because I felt I was living my religion
and that God was pleased with me.
"Here's your cereal honey." "Thank you."
"Can I get some juice to?" "Sure." "It's really hot so be careful."
"Oh, could you get my lunch too, please?"
People see polygamist wives and subservient... and they are.
But inside polygamy it still seems the same.
Women end up waiting on men.
During those then years,
I gave up everything. Myself, my dreams, and my worldly possessions.
And in the end,
I hadn't found true happiness. The deeper meaning I'd been searching for
eluded me. (music)
(music)
"And he hath made us unto our God kings and prienst. And we shall reign..."
The doctrines began to be a bit much for me, like when
evil spirits were declared to be the cause of every ill.
Or when everyone was declared to a biblical prophet in a previous life.
Or when our leader said that Jesus
would return at a certain time.
And he didn't. I began to regret...
not following my dreams. I wanted to write again.
Then someone told me to follow ...
my intuition. I realized that if I did, I would
be miles away from there. I felt jealous of those whose lives
weren't complicated by the demands of salvation
I couldn't believe God was as stern and unforgiving
as I'd been taught. It was June
1999, six months before the "end of the world."
I was afraid that if I left,
God would condemn me. But sometimes,
it's worth taking a chance.
(Song: Girl you have much...)
(Song: More to you than you know)
I'm not sorry I lived polygamy because...
it was something I believed in. It forced me to re-examine
my own views. Now I look to myself for
direction. And I feel freer than ever before.
(Song: You can think for yourself. )
(Song: Cross the desert alone.)
(Song: You can bloom like a rose.)
(Song: Find your path on your own.)
(Song: Blaze a trail through the dark)
(Song: Go and follow your star)
(Song: You can live all your dreams) "Slate it."
(Song: Your own Zion's not far)
(Song: Girl, sing a song, weave a tale. Live your dreams)
(Song: Go on up ...)
(Song: ...the down stairs)
(Song: Draw outside of the lines)
(Song: Break a rule, speak your mind)
(Song: Make a scene) "I want a little more emotion this time, and action"
"Cut. Cut. Okay. That was great."
"Okay, cut!" (Laughter)
DIrected by
Re-enactments:
Extras
Director of Photography Additional cinematography
Crew
Narration recordist Sound recordists
Original score "Dream Your Dream"
Hymns Sound Mix
Special Thanks
made possible by a grand from Kodak
Produced at the University of Utah Copyright: Lareena Smith