Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
-Boom goes the dynamite!
We've got breaking news!
Mustaches are all the rage,
thanks, in part, to the
world-renowned fashion designer
and former international
criminal, Mango Le'Stache.
-[French accent]:
Ho-ho-ho, yes!
Mango is-a very stylish.
-But this startling trend
has led to more
than a few fashion victims.
Fruits and vegetables unable
to grow their own lip-ticklers
have resorted to purchasing
dangerous counterfeit mustaches
which tend to explode!
[explosions]
-[chuckles]
Explosions?
I know nothing!
-Sounds like a hairy situation.
Who's gonna shave us now?
[laughs]
[explosion]
-All right, huevos.
Put your gun down
and step away from the squash.
-[whimpering]:
Please, let me go.
I just wanted to buy a mustache.
-[Hispanic accent]:
Make with the money
or scramble, small fry. This
ain't gonna be over easy, ese.
-Bad news, huevos.
The only thing
you'll be eating is...
Eggs Benedict.
-***-a-doodle-doo!
[squash!]
-Oh! I'm all wet!
-Did you say "omelet"?
Hehehehehehehe!
Yeow!
-Aw, can it, Caruso.
I'm not interested in yodeling.
I wanna know where we're at
with the exploding mustaches.
And listen here, Midget Apple:
don't give me any of that...
[imitating Midget Apple]:
It's Mango Le'Stache, Chief.
Let's go bust him.
[normal voice]:
Oh, malarkey.
-Yay! He sounds just like you.
Ooh-ooh! Do me! Do me!
-Oh, come on, Chief.
It's so obvious.
Reformed criminal mastermind
who also makes mustaches?
What do I gotta do?
Draw you a picture?
-Well, get this into your head:
it's not Le’Stache.
That guy is aces in my book.
Why, he even gave the department
a whole box of mustaches.
You know, for the guys
that can't grow their own.
[chuckles]
[all laugh]
[explosion, glass shatters]
Detectives...
get me Le'Stache.
-(Midget Apple)
Okay, fellas.
Operation: Smash the Stache
is up and running.
Agent Baby Face, do you copy?
-Guys, I don't want
to go undercover.
I'm not even a cop.
-Sorry, Squash. But we need a
clean-shaven agent for this one.
Besides, it's not like
me and my partner
are in the market
for a flavor-saver.
-Yay! I love flavor!
-[whining]: I don't think
I can do this. Oh-ho-ho!
-(Midget Apple)
Oh, stop being so modest.
I saw the way
you handled huevos.
You're gonna be great!
-And we'll be listening to you
the whole time,
like a fairy godmother.
-[whimpers]
-(Le'Stache)
Why, hello, friend.
Say, don't you look familiar?
-Nope. [laughs nervously]
No, uh, I'm just a squash.
-No, I know you.
You have no self-confidence,
no self-respect,
no je ne sais quoi.
-[whimpering]:
Ohh...
-Ha-ha-ha, do not worry.
That is all behind you now.
Trust me, the right mustache
can turn your life around.
-Really?
-Absolument.
-Good work, Squash.
Just keep him talking.
-Ooh-ooh!
Ask him about rainbows!
Everybody loves rainbows!
-Wow! I do feel better.
-It is my platinum model.
Very, very trendy right now.
Plus, it will not clash
with your funny hanger hat.
-I don't know. It's kinda itchy.
-(Midget Apple)
Now's not the time to bargain.
Just close the deal.
-Ah, ah, I mean...
I'll take two!
-Ho-ho! That's the spirit!
I think you'll be very
happy with this model.
It's made from
genuine C-4 explosive...
or maybe it's mohair.
I always forget.
-Ewww!
-[chuckling devilishly]
[car horn honks]
[crash!]
[tires screech]
Sacrebleu!
-Mango Le'Stache,
you're under arrest!
-Yeah!
Now tell us about the rainbows.
-Ah, les Buddy Cops! I hope
you did not forget to bring...
les backup.
[guns ***]
-[groans]
Well, isn't this just
egg-cellent.
-[worriedly]:
Eh-ha, guys?
I think I'm gonna...
[gears up to sneeze]
Ah-choo!
[whap!]
-Uh-oh...
[ka-boom!]
-We've got your confession on
tape, Le'Stache. It's all over.
-Ho-ho, that is what you think,
les Buddy Cops!
-[slow-motion voice]:
Watch out!
[Gregorian chanting]
-[gulps in slow-motion]
[breaths fire]
-[screams in agony]
[groaning]
-Yay! My mouth tastes like fire!
-Nice work, partner!
-My mustaches.
My beautiful... beautiful...
mustaches.
-Well, when you play with fire,
you're bound to get...
-Squashed!
-Ah-ho-ho?
[squash!]
-Eww! I've got butt-stache.
Captioned by StreamCaptions.com