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So the question is: How to make meditation stick?
You know, for example, you know that meditation is good for you
and you know that you should be doing more of it
but for some reason, you either don't have the time
or you are not in the right space of mind
and you just never get around to meditate.
So the question is: How to make a meditation a good habit
and how to make it stick
so that you do it regularly and in a way that works?
Well there are actually two major reasons I believe
that people give up meditation.
The reason number one is
they think that if they are not meditating for a long period of time
let's say, 15 minutes, half an hour, one hour every day
then they are not meditating.
So they are starting to become critical of themselves
and they give up.
Because like: 'I don't have one hour a day to meditate,
that would be ideal, I'd love to meditate for one hour...'
So they know they benefit of sitting down and meditating for an hour.
But if they can't do it then they are like:
'Oh, this just doesn't work for me, I can't do it.'
So they don't do anything at all.
So that's number one major reason.
Meditation isn't something that needs to be long.
I mean, if you have an hour,
or if you have half an hour,
if you have 15 minutes to sit down and be in a quiet place,
then that's fantastic.
But if you don't
then it doesn't mean you can't meditate.
Because meditation, to me, doesn't mean
sitting down on a meditation cushion in a lotus position
for, you know, 15 minutes.
Yes, that's one style of meditation
and one way to meditate,
but that's not the only way to meditate.
You can meditate while you are washing the dishes, for example.
Do you have time to wash the dishes during the day?
I mean, even if you don't like washing the dishes
sometimes you have to, right?
So... or when you are taking a shower,
or when you are cleaning the house...
You can make any activity a meditation...
Or when you go for a walk on a beach, for example.
So any of those would be a meditation.
And I call them active meditation.
You see, when you are sitting down on a cushion, that's great and that's one style.
But you can bring consciousness into anything you are doing
and that becomes your meditation.
So you don't have to look for an hour in your day
to separate yourself.
You can meditate...
for example, one of my favorite places
to have a little snippet of meditation, so to speak,
is in traffic.
You know, when I'm sitting in traffic or when I'm at the traffic lights.
I don't close my eyes and I don't sit in lotus position, of course, in my car...
But what I do is that
when there is a red traffic light
that reminds me to become conscious of my breath.
Because, what else is there to do?
I can go into my head
and start thinking about all the things that I need to do
today or tomorrow, or think about the past
and all that kind of stuff.
Or I can just become present in my body,
I can become conscious in that moment.
And... even if it's 30 seconds
or a minute,
that's meditation.
Because meditation is all about bringing consciousness to the moment.
Becoming conscious, in a nutshell, that's what it is.
So, you can become conscious in any moment.
Let's say you are standing...
and that's my other favorite place...
is standing in a queue.
Usually what people do is they pull out their phone
and they distract themselves.
So they go in their head
or they look around
or they think about all the things they want to think...
And actually that's an opportunity to go inward again
and to remember the breath.
Someone said once...
I think it's Eckhart Tolle...
He said: 'One conscious breath is meditation'.
So one conscious breath can be a meditation.
How long does it take to take a conscious breath?
It just takes a breath, right?
And that's already medication.
So that's key number one.
Don't make it hard for yourself,
don't think that if you can't dedicate
15 minutes or half an hour in your day
that you can't meditate
or that you are not meditating.
It's bringing consciousness to every moment in life.
You see what happened to me:
Once I went to ashram and I meditated there for 12 hours a day
for a period of time.
And I've got really good at meditating,
it was so easy because...
I mean on many levels it was super hard,
one of the hardest things I had to do in my life...
but on another level it was super easy
because there were no distractions.
Meditation for 12 hours a day - that's all you do.
You get up - breakfast is ready for you,
we didn't even have to cook.
So breakfast is ready for me, I eat,
then I go into meditation,
then I come out, I have lunch,
which was already made,
then we go into another meditation,
then dinner is already made,
then sleep and then the cycle goes on again.
So it's like nothing to think about,
nothing to do apart from meditation.
So in that sense it was super easy.
But then you see what happened:
When I came home I was trying to continue that practice
and meditate one hour in the morning
and one hour in the evening every day.
Which I did.
And then I had an Aha moment:
When I was meditating... in the middle of one hour meditation
I was in that beautiful space, you know,
I was in peace
and I was experiencing that meditation bliss, basically.
And then was a knock on my door
and my mom was saying: 'Yelena!'
And in that moment I snapped inside.
I didn't snap at my mom thankfully,
but I snapped inside,
I got angry inside,
because somebody dared to disturb my meditation.
In that moment I realized:
Meditation wasn't about me sitting on my cushion
without being disturbed.
The true meditation happens in the midst of life.
The true meditation happens when I'm able to maintain
the state of bliss in the midst of life happening around me,
other people talking to me and all the things that I need to do.
Because otherwise:
Okay, I'm a spiritual person
while I'm on my meditation cushion, I'm perfect, you see.
But as soon as one thing... you know, pinches me
then I get out of that state.
And I didn't want that to happen.
So I retrained myself
to meditate throughout the day while I go about my daily business.
And that's a different story.
So now I can be in the meditative state, in that peaceful neutral state
while I'm washing dishes,
while I'm doing something else,
while I'm talking with a person on the phone,
while somebody else is calling my name.
I can respond calmly and with peace.
And I think that's much better then allocating one hour of my time
and be perfect on my cushion.
And then still be angry when I get off the cushion.
Find pockets of time, I call them,
throughout the day
where you can bring more consciousness into your life.
The more you do that
the more conscious you'll start to become throughout the day.
Actually you are bringing consciousness to your daily life,
you are not separating it for specific moments in your life.
So I'm not saying that
you know, having 15 minutes on the cushion is not good...
I'm not saying that at all.
If you have that time - do that, too.
But if you don't
then you can still meditate
while you go for a walk, walking the dog,
while you are washing the dishes,
washing your clothes,
while you are hanging up your clothes,
while you... you know, while you are in the shower...
And any other mundane things are perfect,
perfect opportunities to meditate.
because it would be a shame for us to be living our life which...
mundane things seem to take up a lot of time... Is that right?
They take a lot of space in our daily life.
So the mundane component is quite huge.
It would be a shame
if we were not being able to be present in those times
and only were training ourselves to be present in other times,
in some other special times.
That would be like watching your life go by
and waiting for special moments to be present.
So my thinking is that:
It's really important that
whatever meditation you choose
you still meditate throughout the day while you are doing your things.
You don't have to close your eyes,
you don't have to sit in a lotus position,
you are just bringing your awareness to your body,
to whatever you are doing
and you are doing it as consciously as you can
and rather than being in your head.
So that's key number one.
The reason number two why people give up meditation
is they have an expectation,
they have an idea of...
whether they read about that idea,
whether they had an experience of that state at some stage in their life,
But they have an expectation of what they supposed to...
what a meditation is supposed to feel like.
They have this idea that
if they are meditating then there's no thinking,
you know, that... their mind will get quiet.
And if you have tried to mediate what happens,
especially in the times when you are stressed or busy,
and you take that time and sit down for a minute or two
and you try to meditate.
It feels like it's not working,
it feels like you are failing
because your mind gets busy.
Suddenly you are sitting down quiet
and your mind just explodes.
And it's like: 'Oh, this is not working'
This is not working.
You know, I can't find... that space without thinking.
Of course you can't.
In that moment, if a person tries a few times
and they can't get to that place where they are not thinking
they are thinking that the medication doesn't work,
they can't do it
and they give up.
But actually what I found is that
our thinking is not a straight solid line,
it's like a dotted line.
So thoughts come... like this.
So it's like a dotted line, not a straight solid line.
And of course we have many thoughts
so they are layered on top of each other.
And that's why it feels like a continuous stream of thoughts.
You see, when you sit down in meditation
and you focus inwardly
you start to notice that stream of thoughts
running through your mind.
And what happens is
the thoughts pull you in.
I'll give you an example:
It's like sitting at the bottom of the tree
and you are in charge of the monkeys.
The monkeys are your thoughts.
So you are sitting at the bottom of the tree and you are in charge of the monkeys
and you are supposed to keep them by the trunk of the tree.
Let's say one monkey, okay?
One monkey would be hard enough already.
And so what happens:
you are sitting for a second,
and then the monkey goes up the tree.
Up the tree on one branch and then on another, another, another...
And five minutes later you think: 'Where is the monkey?'
'How did it get there?'
And you come back, it's like: 'Oh, I was supposed to be meditating.'
But the monkey is gone.
So the monkey is like a thought
that goes from one thought to another to another to another...
And by the time you remember where you are at
it's like: 'How did I even get there?' right?
And so in that moment most people would think:
'Oh, I'm failing, it's not working.'
But actually it is working, it is working perfectly.
Because when you remember
it's like 'Oh, where was I? I was supposed to be meditating'
That's perfect.
That's consciousness.
You bring the monkey back, back to the trunk of the tree.
You sit, one second goes by, and the monkey goes tuk tuk tuk again.
And then maybe this time you remember four minutes later.
It's like: 'Oh, I'm supposed to be meditating'
And you bring the monkey back.
The meditation happens, your practice happens
not in how often you can be in the no-thinking space...
because that comes later.
In the beginning it's all about how quickly you can bring the monkey back,
how quickly you can become conscious
that you floated away,
that you became unconscious
and got lost in your thoughts.
Every time you remember, whether it's five minutes later,
four minutes later, three minutes later,
you become better.
You become better.
It's like training a muscle.
You become better and better at bringing it back
sooner, sooner, quicker and quicker.
And the monkey becomes better trained to stay.
So you notice the monkey goes,
'Oh, supposed to be meditating', bringing it back.
That's perfect. That is your practice.
That is your meditation.
Even when you are washing the dishes,
like we talked about the active meditation, the daily meditation,
So you are washing the dishes and...
off it goes, the monkey.
And then one minute later, two minutes later:
'Oh, I'm supposed to be consciously doing this'
Okay, that's perfect, that's the practice.
Bringing it back is your success in meditation.
Hi, it’s Yelena!
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