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[ STATIC ]
>> OH, NO!
QUASI!
>> [ GRUNTING ]
YES, HEADMASTERS?
>> THERE'S A PROBLEM
WITH OUR SPECTAVISION.
FIX IT NOW!
A LITTLE TO THE LEFT.
A LITTLE TO THE LEFT, QUASI.
PERFECT.
>> WHEN FRIGHTENING FLESHIES,
IT'S FREQUENTLY USEFUL
TO PROVIDE AN UNPLEASANT AROMA.
>> YOU STAYED THERE ALL NIGHT?
>> YES. ALDER AND DASH
LIKE TO USE THEIR SPOOKYVISION
AS A NIGHTLIGHT.
OH, IT'S OKAY.
I DON'T MIND HELPING OUT.
[ YAWN ]
>> AM I BORING YOU, QUASI?
PERHAPS AN UNREASONABLY HARSH
PUNISHMENT WILL INTEREST YOU
MORE.
>> NO. HE'S YAWNING BECAUSE--
>> HOW DARE YOU CONTRADICT ME,
CASPER.
I WANT A 1,000-WORD ESSAY
ON THE MANY VARIETIES OF STINK.
>> YES, PROFESSOR BURNS.
>> AAH!
>> HELP!
>> QUASI, WE NEED YOU TO
ALPHABETIZE OUR SPELL BOOKS NOW.
>> BUT I AM MOPPING.
>> [ BOTH LAUGH ]
I AM MOPPING.
>> QUASI LOVED THAT MOP.
>> HE DOES SO MUCH FOR THE
SCHOOL AND NO ONE
EVEN APPRECIATES IT.
>> QUASI NEEDS TWO DAYS OFF
A WEEK, MORE TIME TO DO HIS
HOMEWORK, AND YOU'VE GOT TO BE
NICE TO HIM.
OH, AND A NEW MOP.
>> [ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> RIDICULOUS!
ANYWAY,
WE CAN'T DISCUSS THIS NOW.
IT'S TIME FOR OUR SHOW.
>> WELCOME TO "WHO'S CRYPT
IS IT ANYWAY."
>> QUASI!
>> QUICK, WE'RE MISSING
OUR SHOW.
>> NO! NOT UNTIL CASPER'S--
I MEAN, MY DEMANDS ARE MET.
NEW MOP, MORE HOMEWORK TIME,
BE NICE.
>> BUT WE'RE
THE HEADMASTERS HERE.
>> WE DON'T TAKE DEMANDS
FROM STUDENTS.
>> THEN QUASI'S ON STRIKE.
>> STRIKE?
>> STRIKE?
>> STRIKE?
YES, QUASI IS ON STRIKE.
>> BUT, I...OH...
AW, WHO NEEDS HIM?
>> DROP AND GIVE ME 20.
MY GYM FLOOR.
QUASI.
>> OH, QUASI IS ON STRIKE.
>> WHAT?
AAH!
>> OH, NO!
>> QUASI'S ON STRIKE.
>> WE NEED A NEW CHORE BOY.
>> UH-HUH. CASPER!
>> NOW YOU HAVE TO DO
ALL OF QUASI'S CHORES?
>> I'M JUST GIVING HIM A BREAK
FROM ALL THE HARD WORK HE DOES.
>> PLUS, ALDER AND DASH
THREATENED TO EXPEL YOU.
>> PLUS THAT.
IT'S NO PROBLEM, GUYS.
I CAN HANDLE IT.
OH.
>> [ SNIFFS ] OH, REPULSIVE.
EXCELLENT WORK.
[ SNIFFS ] OH, MY.
OH, TRULY REVOLTING.
WONDERFUL.
HOW DO YOU DO IT?
>> NO SENSE OF SMELL.
>> WELL?
A SOCK?
>> YEAH. SOCKS ARE STINKY.
>> THIS ONE IS UNWORN,
BRAND NEW, IN FACT.
>> I WOULD HAVE DONE BETTER,
BUT I HAD CHORES.
>> AH-AH-AH. EVEN A ZOMBIE
BURIED WITHOUT ITS BRAIN
COULD DO BETTER.
>> I'LL CHOOSE TO TAKE THAT
AS A COMPLIMENT.
>> I WANT SOMETHING STINKY
ON MY DESK BY THIS AFTERNOON,
AND I'M STILL WAITING
FOR THAT ESSAY.
>> YES, PROFESSOR BURNS.
>> DON'T WORRY, CASPER.
IT'S ALMOST LUNCH.
>> THE BELL!
HOW DOES QUASI DO THIS?
[ DING DING DING ]
[ CHEERING ]
>> A TRIANGLE?
YOU RING THE BELL
USING A LITTLE TRIANGLE?
>> WHY IS CASPER DOING THE BELL
ANYWAY?
>> CASPER IS THE NEW CHORE BOY.
>> REALLY?
>> OOPS. MISSED MY MOUTH AGAIN.
>> THESE GRUBS
ARE PRETTY MESSY, HUH?
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> JUST IGNORE THEM, CASPER.
>> YEAH, THINGS COULD BE WORSE.
>> GRUB FIGHT!
>> SEE? THIS IS WORSE.
>> GRUBS CAN SO EASILY STAIN.
I WISH I COULD HELP, BUT,
YOU KNOW, I AM ON STRIKE.
>> WELL, GUESS I SHOULD GET TO
IT BEFORE ALDER AND DASH SEES--
>> AAH!
>> STANDARDS ARE DEFINITELY
SLIPPING.
>> AND AFTER YOU'VE CLEANED
THIS UP, SEE TO THE CAFETERIA
SINK.
SOMETHING'S STOPPING IT UP.
>> OH.
>> WHOA!
WHOA!
WHOA!
>> HEY.
>> WHOA!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
WHAT'S THE MATTER, CHORE BOY?
HAVING A BAD DAY?
>> WHOA!
>> THE CRYPT
IS FULL OF ROTTING HAIR.
>> THE LABORATORY DRAINS ARE
CLOGGED WITH OLD ECTOPLASM.
>> AND OUR WINDOW
HAS A TINY SMUDGE MARK.
IT'S TRUE. A SMUDGE MARK.
YOU ARE A BAD CHORE BOY.
>> YOU'RE RIGHT. I QUIT.
MEET QUASI'S DEMANDS
AND HIRE HIM BACK.
>> OH, YOU CAN QUIT,
BUT THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND
ANOTHER SCHOOL TO ATTEND.
>> AH, I AM SORRY
YOU'RE IN THIS MESS, CASPER.
LET'S JUST FORGET
ABOUT MY DEMANDS, OKAY?
- OH, NO. LOOK, QUASI,
YOU WANT PEOPLE TO APPRECIATE
WHAT YOU DO, RIGHT?
>> YES, THIS IS RIGHT.
>> IF YOU GIVE IN NOW,
NOTHING WILL CHANGE.
THEY'LL STILL TREAT YOU
LIKE SLUG SLIME.
>> IF THERE IS ONE THING THAT
QUASI IS NOT, IT IS SLUG SLIME.
>> ALDER AND DASH NEED TO
REALIZE THAT WITHOUT YOU,
THE SCHOOL STOPS FUNCTIONING.
THAT'S IT!
>> THAT'S WHAT?
>> YOU'LL SEE.
AFTER WRITING THAT ESSAY
FOR PROFESSOR BURNS,
I'M AN EXPERT ON STINK.
YOU REALLY CAN'T SMELL THIS?
>> [ SNIFFS ]
NO.
NOW WHAT?
>> WE WAIT, PREFERABLY FAR AWAY.
>> WHOA!
[ ALARM BUZZES ]
>> THAT SMELL.
>> IT'S BURNING MY THROAT.
>> AAH, MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE!
>> [ COUGHING ]
>> EMERGENCY!
DO SOMETHING, CHORE BOY.
>> VILLAGERS! VILLAGERS!
WHAT IS THAT BAD SMELL?
>> CAN NO ONE FIGHT
THAT WRETCHED STINK?
>> I CAN DO IT!
>> QUASI, AT LAST
YOU'VE COME TO YOUR SENSES.
CLEAN THE SCHOOL NOW.
>> NO.
>> NO?
>> NOT UNLESS YOU GET ME
A NEW MOP, EXTRA HOMEWORK TIME,
AND BE NICE TO ME.
>> WHAT?
[ COUGHING ]
>> OH, IT'S BEYOND AWFUL.
A-PLUS TO WHOEVER DID IT.
>> OKAY, YOU MADE YOUR POINT.
WE NEED YOU. CLEAN THE SCHOOL.
PLEASE?
>> WHAT ABOUT MY MOP?
>> OH, WE'LL HAVE TO
SPECIAL ORDER IT.
>> HERE, QUASI, USE MINE.
>> AAH!
>> I DON'T KNOW HOW QUASI
CLEANED UP THE SCHOOL SO FAST.
>> WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY?
HE'S GOOD AT WHAT HE DOES.
[ CHEERING ]
>> YOU DID IT!
>> [ SCREECHING ]
>> YOU KNOW, THE CAFETERIA
THING WORKS PRETTY HARD.
SHE SHOULD ASK ALDER AND DASH
FOR A RAISE.
EXCUSE ME, MISS CAFETERIA THING?
>> OH!
>> WHOA! WHOA!
>> TESTING, ARGH, TWO, THREE.
SORRY, SORRY.
[ ALL LAUGH ]
>> AHEM. AHOY, THE NAME'S CAPPY.
MOST OF YOU KNOW ME SEEING ME
MINDING THE WHEEL OF
THE OLD SCARE SCHOOL SCHOONER,
BUT I BEEN WONDERING.
WHAT IF SOMETHING BAD
WERE TO HAPPEN TO ME?
>> LIKE HAVING PATCHES
OVER BOTH YOUR EYES?
[ ALL LAUGH ]
>> I DECIDED I NEED
A FIRST MATE TO WATCH ME BACK.
THE WORK WON'T BE EASY,
BUT YOU'LL GET TO SAIL
LIKE A TRUE PIRATE.
>> OH! OH! ME!
>> WHAT? NO VOLUNTEERS?
>> OH.
>> UH, CAPPY?
>> YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR TUNE
AFTER THIS SHORT FILM.
>> OH.
>> LIGHTS!
AHEM.
THE FIRST MATE ON A SHIP
MUST DO EVERYTHING
THE CAPTAIN SAYS.
>> AWK!
>> FASTER, YOU MOLLY-CODDLED
CIVILIZED LANDLUBBER, YE!
EVERY ORDER FROM YOUR SKIPPER
MUST BE FOLLOWED TO A "T."
SKAGINATE THE MAINSAIL JOISTS!
MIZZLE THE POTSEL!
>> I'M MIZZLING, I'M MIZZLING!
>> NO MATTER THE PERILS OR HOW
EXHAUSTED YE BE, 50 HOURS
A DAY, 90 DAYS A WEEK, YOU'LL BE
PROUD TO CALL YOURSELF
A SCURVY SWABBIE.
I'LL BET YOU'LL BE WANTING
TO VOLUNTEER NOW, EH?
>> I'D LIKE TO VOLUNTEER.
>> GLAD TO HAVE YE ABOARD!
WHO ELSE?
>> OH, COME ON, GUYS.
PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN.
YOU ALL KNOW THIS HAS ALWAYS
BEEN MY DREAM.
>> ARGH! THEN CASPER IT BE!
>> ARE YOU CRAZY?
>> DID YOU SEE THE MOVIE?
>> SOMEBODY'S GOT TO BE
FIRST MATE.
BESIDES, CAPPY'S A GREAT GUY.
HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
I'M READY FOR MY TRAINING.
WHAT DO WE DO FIRST?
>> FIRST WE WIPE THAT SMILE
OFF YOUR UGLY MUG, SAILOR.
NOW SWAB THIS DECK!
ARGH. CASPER'S A GOOD MATEY,
BUT THIS JOB NEEDS SOMEONE
AS TOUGH AS A DECK NAIL.
I'LL HAVE TO DRIVE HIM
EXTRA HARD FOR HIS OWN GOOD.
NOW I WANT YOU TO CRUNKLE
THAT SLIPKNOT.
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR,
YOU MIZZY DOBKNOBLER?
HORN THE SWAGGLE!
JIB THE PLEATING!
>> WHICH ONE DO I DO FIRST?
>> BOTH OF THEM! GO, GO!
>> FORGET EVERYTHING
ON MY BIRTHDAY LIST.
THIS IS ALL I WANT.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH THAT SLOBBER?
GET UP THAT MAST AND LUP THE
SMUGGLER NOW, YOU LAZY BILLET!
>> AWK! HOW LONG YOU GONNA
KEEP PRETENDING TO BE MEAN?
>> WELL, WHEN I WAS IN FIRST
MATE TRAINING, THEY KEPT ME ON
FOR, OH, 400 YEARS.
BUT, YOU KNOW,
I SKIPPED A GRADE.
>> HOPE YOU'RE NOT GIVING UP
YET, CASPER.
I'M REALLY ENJOYING THIS.
>> MAYBE I SHOULD GIVE UP.
EVERYTHING I DO IS WRONG.
>> IT WAS JUST YOUR FIRST DAY.
TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER.
>> CLAB THE MONIKERS
AND HOIST THE HUMPSTRUMPER.
DID YOU EVER SEE
SUCH A HOPELESS EXCUSE
FOR A FIRST MATE?
>> ACTUALLY, HE'S REALLY GOOD.
>> I KNOW, BUT WE CAN'T GO SOFT
ON HIM NOW.
IT'D RUIN THE TRAINING.
>> AWK! STORM CONDITIONS!
>> PORT! GET TO PORT,
YOU SCURVY SEA BASS!
WHERE YOU GOING,
YOU LAZY BILGE MONKEY?
STARBOARD! STARBOARD!
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU WANT ME TO...WHOA!
>> ARGH! THIS BE THE GPS,
THE GHOUL POSITIONING SYSTEM.
NO MATTER WHERE YE MAY BE,
IN WHATEVER WORLD OR WEATHER,
IT HELPS YE PLOT A SAFE COURSE.
>> IT LOOKS COMPLICATED.
>> QUIT YOUR BELLYACHING,
SAILOR.
TAKE THIS MANUAL AND LEARN IT
INSIDE OUT.
OH, I DON'T KNOW IF THIS
BE HARDER ON HIM OR ON ME.
>> AWK! DO YOU EVEN KNOW
HOW TO USE THIS THING?
>> DON'T NEED TO.
ME MIND'S ALREADY
A PRECISE NAUTICAL INSTRUMENT.
THIS CHEESE IS STALE.
>> CASPER?
>> 9.9 STARBOARD, SIR!
>> CASPER, WAKE UP.
IT'S ME AND MANTHA.
>> WHAT? OH! I DON'T THINK
I CAN KEEP DOING THIS.
I'M DISAPPOINTING CAPPY.
>> THEN QUIT. WE ALL LIKE CAPPY,
BUT HE'S BEING
WAY TOO *** YOU.
AHEM.
>> SORRY, CAPPY.
>> SLEEPING IN?
GUESS YOU COULDN'T TAKE IT.
>> SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT,
THATCH.
I'M TOO TIRED TO CARE.
>> HEY, I'M GLAD YOU QUIT.
THE FIRST THING CAPPY'S
GONNA DO IS ASK WHO'S NEXT
ON THE VOLUNTEER LIST.
>> WHO WAS IT, THATCH, HUH?
OH, DON'T LEAVE ME HANGIN'.
>> NOBODY, YOU IMBECILE!
AND IT'S GONNA BREAK
HIS BIG SALTY HEART.
>> SCHOOL TRIP TODAY.
WHERE BE MY FIRST MATE?
>> HERE, SIR.
>> AWK! AWK!
>> REMEMBER, DON'T PUSH RECORD
ON YOUR CRYPOD
UNTIL THE FLESHIE SCREAMS.
>> 100,000 BARNACLES TO GO!
AH, BRINY GOOD.
WHOA!
OH. OH.
>> YOU DIDN'T MISS MUCH.
>> WOW, THAT WAS GREAT!
I NEVER HAD SO MUCH...
OH, HORRIBLE TIME IN MY LIFE.
IT WAS AWFUL.
HI, CASPER.
>> WHAT WAS THAT?
>> AWK! IT LOOKS LIKE A VORTEX
AT THE JUNCTION OF THE FLESHIE
WORLD AND THE UNDERWORLD.
>> IMPOSSIBLE! I'VE NEVER SEEN
A VORTEX AT THE JUNCTION.
OH, THERE'S ONLY TWO CAPTAINS
IN THE UNDERWORLD WHO CAN STEER
AROUND A VORTEX, ME AND...
>> CAPPY! CAPPY!
HE'S PASSED OUT!
HE MUST HAVE EATEN
A BAD BARNACLE.
>> YOU THINK?
>> [ SCREAMING ]
>> WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
STEER AROUND IT.
>> I CAN'T. I'M ONLY THE FIRST
MATE AND I'M A TERRIBLE SAILOR.
ALL CAPPY DOES IS CRITICIZE ME.
>> [ CRYING ]
>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU
THIS, BUT HE THINKS
YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
>> REALLY?
>> REALLY.
>> THEN I BETTER GET TO IT.
>> NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO USE THAT,
NOT EVEN CAPPY.
>> CASPER'S BEEN STUDYING IT
ALL WEEK.
>> MANTHA, RA,
DROP THE MAINSAIL.
DUMMY GIRL, MOSSHEAD,
GET EVERYONE ON THE PORT SIDE.
THAT'S THE LEFT.
ALDER AND DASH, MOVE ALL
HEAVY BALLAST TO PORT NOW!
WE GOTTA SLINGSHOT
AROUND THE VORTEX.
FLYBOY, QUASI, FIRE THE
STARBOARD CANNONS ON MY COMMAND.
>> OOH, WE GET TO FIRE CANNONS?
>> MICKEY, MONICO,
CLOSE THE HATCHES.
>> MM-HMM.
THOSE ARE THE LITTLE
DOOR THINGS.
>> AYE-AYE, SIR.
>> THATCH, SIT ON THAT BUCKET
OVER THERE.
>> SITTING ON BUCKET, SIR.
>> HANG ON!
FIRE CANNONS.
[ CHEERING ]
>> ARGH! YOU KNOW, IT WEREN'T
THE BARNACLES MADE ME SICK.
IT WAS HAVING TO BE UNKIND
TO SOMEONE I'M SO FOND OF.
LET'S HEAR IT FOR CASPER!
HIP-HIP...
>> HOORAY!
>> HIP-HIP...
>> HOORAY!
>> AND NOW MAY I PRESENT YE
WITH THIS MEDAL.
>> WHERE'S MY MEDAL?
DIDN'T I HELP?
>> UH, NOT REALLY, THATCH.
>> BUT I SAT IN THAT BUCKET
OF FILTHY WATER.
WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
>> I WAS AFRAID IT'D TIP OVER
AND I'D HAVE TO SWAB
THE DECK AGAIN.
[ ALL LAUGH ]