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When I was nine years old I was a very devoted catholic
at the time I thought I was going to be a priest
I had three brothers and three sisters
it was wild I was a middle child right int he middle and it was kind of chaotic
I imagine for my parents they both worked
Ray and I were best friends - we both came from these big Catholic families
we were going to catholic school together that we carpooled together
every day,
It was at the end
of the school day and the streets were lined with
station wagons all the moms that were picking up their kids after school
Ahh, uniforms you know those white shirts everybody...and those
salt and pepper pants that we had (cords)
I was walking down the sidewalk with my friend
Peter
and he was telling me about
the fact that he was taking judo lessons. He had learned how to flip
his opponent
over his shoulder and lay them prone on the ground
and I thought..
"Very cool!"
Ray was intrigued you know..."Oh, cool Judo, show me!" Peter
took me and he rolled me over
his shoulder but he didn't know what he was doing.
Instead of me rolling over I went down head-first a hit
my skull on the sidewalk hard!
He landed smack on his head on the asphalt
I remember seeing the
look on the face of Peter and he was horrified this poor kid he was so
afraid because you could tell Ray was really hurt.
I became pain from the tip of my skull down to my spine
to my toes. It was an explosion
and
it rocked me to my core. There was all this talk about
don't let him swallow his tongue because he was going into convulsions and choking
The blow to my head was so hard it caused my brain to misfire
and I went into seizures and my tongue
buckled back in to my airway. I
couldn't breath and
I died.
and my body went into
convulsions and my tongue
buckled back into my airway and I suffocated.
I found myself
suddenly
in a place
that was not a place
it was nothing
it was
there was no gravity,
there was no color, no
darkness, no light
no sensations...I didn't know
how I got there
where i was
what was happening. I didn't remember the accident. I was utterly
terrified
and i remember thinking that you're
losing your mind
that's what's happening you've lost your mind
I remember the panic and the fear and the concern and I felt frightened for him
I remember thinking
if you're losing your mind if you're going crazy
there isn't diddly squat you can do about it
and I released at that point I let go
and soon as I released
the pleasurable sensations began
Staring with something simple like contentment
and peace gradually
transforming into feelings of utter
bliss. I became aware of a bright point of light a brilliant
tiny pinpoint of
brilliant light that was
ten million times brighter than the sun
As I approached it it got bigger
and more intense
and more
beautiful and it
pulled me in and
accelerated and I got
spit out! at the other end
The blow to my head
was so hard it caused my brain to misfire
and I went into seizures I couldn't breath and I died
In front of me were these giant
ha
in front of me with this
titanic golden columns rising up into like jack and the beanstalk
and they were stacked in such a way that
it felt like it was a gate or an entrance to something
I was
greeted by a being or a spirit I don't know what this thing was. He said "Raymond I want to show you some things" and
there was this
what I could only call a download
it was like
billions of questions were answered in just a moment.
All of creation opened up
and shimmered
and I understood
heavy stuff for a nine year old!
The adults were in charge now there were
people gathered around Ray on the asphalt and kids hovering around in the background watching
After the big
download
this being said to me... " I want to show you
who you really are"
and he introduced me to God face to face. What
God looked like was
when you look at
like a photograph of a galaxy
each one of those little pinpoints of light
was God and each one of those little points of light was worshiping saying " We love you, I love you" It
was beautiful, blissful
unconditional pure love.
He had introduced me to God face to face heavy stuff for a 9 year old
I was told by the God
that it was not my time and I had to go back and I just said
no, no, no, you got this all wrong I'm not going back
and once again
it was..
"It's not your time you have to go back"
I was sent back to my body
Getting stuffed back into my body was
painful
and gross
like putting on an old crusty pair of socks
and then I remember what had happened
and it was...(groans)
I don't want to be here
I don't want to be here
I told my mother what happened
and you know she was a good catholic mother
and she was very concerned
she just said
I'll set up a meeting with
the priest, the parish
priest and we'll
work through this stuff.
He told me that
since I didn't meet Jesus
I couldn't say that Jesus was there
that it had probably been
a trick of
Satan. I was crushed I remember thinking
If the Devil is that good I don't have
a chance
when Ray came back to school i remember all of the
kids milling around him before school in the parking lot
There was a
sizable red mark on his forehead and he was
dazed I mean he was still kind of dazed
I psychologically packaged it up
and put it away
and I didn't process it
Then in my early 20's
I read
a story
about a near-death experience that was remarkably similar to mine
and I remembered it coming gushing out
and it was a huge relief because
I realized it was real and it was not the devil and
I was really that important!
He doesn't have any
fear of dying
in fact he said he can't wait
but he also
knows you can't cheat
you can't cut it short
that was made very clear in the experience he had
I probably think about this
twenty thirty times a day maybe more. I wan't to go back (laughs)
I just do!
now now! I mean I'm here to dance I'm in no hurry
I'm having a good time but
you know when I die I'll have a big smile on my face
cause I know what's coming!