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I travel all over the country doing this. It's really fun.
And you always, like after a show, you always end up in a bar in youknow, Podunk, Idaho,
or whatever.
Ohh, somebody in Idaho is get really pissed when I say that.
But uh, bars always get really interesting about 5 minutes to closing.
You know, when there's that last guy. And that last girl
She's about a four or a five. And he's...
Aiming way to high.
He's trying to impress her by using big words, messing it up.
Going, "Baby, you're magnanimous tonight!"
You'd be surprised how many audiences don't get that joke.
They're like, "Yeah?..."
Anyway, I thought that guy needed a song.
[music]
I saw a lady by the bar, didn't look half bad
She only had one eye, baby that's my bag
I never know what I'm gonna get
Might get lucky and get a hairlip
Yeah her hair is held up with a roach clip
Damn that's classy
I like 'em five and below
Get 'em drunk and their good to go
Back at my place it's time to show
What a two can do for you
I spot a little hotty with her leg in a cast
I think I got a chance cuz she can't run that fast
But what do you know, she's drunk too
She might not even wake up before I'm through
A little snoring won't keep me from what I do
I like 'em five and below
Like a fifty cent stripper show
I'll do you then quid pro quo
Was that word too big for you?
Let me show you what a two
What a two can do for you
Ooh baby that moo-moo's hot
You'll get your turn if you play my flop
That's a poker reference right there. Did you guys get that?
I was pretty proud of that one.
I like 'em five and below
Oh by the way, this is not a *** song.
No no, that's bad.
You were looking excited. I'm just saying, you know...
I like 'em five and below
I like a girl who does the hammer throw
A hairy back makes my hammer grow
Just as long as she ain't a dude
Let me show you what a two
What a two can do for you.