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[MUSIC PLAYING]
FELICIA DAY: What the [BLEEP].
[MUSIC PLAYING]
RYON DAY: Welcome to "Co-Optitude," a show where me
and my sister, Felicia Day, play video games very poorly--
FELICIA DAY: Good.
RYON DAY: --To great comedic effect.
FELICIA DAY: That was a really good-- you resonating.
RYON DAY: Thank you.
FELICIA DAY: Have you ever taken speech class--
speech lessons?
RYON DAY: It's good.
Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: You have taken speech lessons?
RYON DAY: Two semesters.
Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: You did?
RYON DAY: Mhm.
FELICIA DAY: Really?
RYON DAY: It's good.
FELICIA DAY: That's really--
I need to do that.
Have you ever taken speech class-- speech lessons?
We're going to play a Sega game today, a Genesis?
RYON DAY: Back to the 16-bits.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
Guess what it is.
"Revolution X." Strangely enough, this
game is based on Aerosmith.
RYON DAY: It's very weird.
It's the last ditch attempt by an aging band to remain
relevant in the age of computers.
FELICIA DAY: No.
Because no, in the '90s they were the [BLEEP].
RYON DAY: Thanks to Liv Tyler, really, because she was like
being all hot and such.
FELICIA DAY: No, she was-- that was pre-Liv
Tyler, wasn't it.
RYON DAY: You know every teenage boy at [INAUDIBLE]
was like--
FELICIA DAY: Don't--
RYON DAY: --had Liv Tyler in the spank bank.
You knew I was going to go there.
FELICIA DAY: I knew you were going to go there.
I just tried to stop you.
I'm really excited to see how Steven Tyler can, I guess,
lead a revolution.
RYON DAY: How he can tie-in to being a video game.
FELICIA DAY: But it says music is the weapon.
I mean, I don't know what we're doing.
It's featuring Aerosmith.
So basically Aerosmith is just a supporting player in this
global revolution.
All right.
RYON DAY: All right.
All right, let's play this [BLEEP]
then.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
RYON DAY: All right.
This is what $0.99 gets you.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
By the way, this game costs $0.99.
RYON DAY: All right.
Here it is, here it is right here.
FELICIA DAY: I wonder if Aerosmith provided the
soundtrack to this.
RYON DAY: It would make-- it would stand to reason--
FELICIA DAY: It would be very odd if they didn't.
RYON DAY: --that it wasn't Bon Jovi or something like that.
FELICIA DAY: That would be really bad.
RYON DAY: Especially if it wasn't David Lee Roth.
FELICIA DAY: Whoa.
What the--
RYON DAY: That's not what I want to see.
Who's the woman in front?
It's like "Labyrinth"?
I thought it was like "Labyrinth."
FELICIA DAY: Holy [BLEEP].
So much hair.
RYON DAY: And David Bowie is going to do like contact
juggling or something like that.
We should reset it and look at that picture again.
FELICIA DAY: All right.
Reset it.
RYON DAY: Let's do it.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
Watch this.
And boom.
RYON DAY: Oh man, there's no way that's real hair.
FELICIA DAY: That's not his hair.
RYON DAY: We are going to see the back story.
FELICIA DAY: You have no choice.
RYON DAY: For once I'm not going to skip it.
FELICIA DAY: (SINGING THE BACKSTORY) You have no choice.
You have no voice.
The New Order Nation has taken over.
Everything you like is wrong.
RYON DAY: I thought they were going to rhyme.
FELICIA DAY: Right.
That's how they sing.
"Corrupt neo-industrial-government
militaristic--" whoa-- that was a-- that was a handful.
RYON DAY: "Club X, LA's hottest night
spot." Night spot?
FELICIA DAY: "At the same time, New Order Nation's
evil--"
RYON DAY: Is that really a term?
FELICIA DAY: "And you are stuck in the middle." This is
too fast. "One of the last surviving free youth."
RYON DAY: All right.
FELICIA DAY: You gotta get backstage.
RYON DAY: So we are going to stick it to the man.
FELICIA DAY: We're going ***
people to get backstage.
RYON DAY: We're going to kill people to get
backstage to see Aerosmith.
FELICIA DAY: What are the options?
Let's make sure there's no option.
RYON DAY: Is there an option to make the band Bon Jovi or--
wow.
LOL.
FELICIA DAY: What the [BLEEP]?
RYON DAY: All right.
Let's put it on easy.
FELICIA DAY: What's easy?
RYON DAY: Super cool.
FELICIA DAY: Practically impossible is not easy.
RYON DAY: Super cool.
FELICIA DAY: All right.
Super cool.
RYON DAY: Let's go backstage to see Aerosmith.
FELICIA DAY: We will kill anybody in our way.
RYON DAY: Let's kill--
FELICIA DAY: Because you know what, priorities and [BLEEP].
November 11--
BOTH: 1996.
FELICIA DAY: I think that was our first year of college.
RYON DAY: Oh, we're shooting like CDs.
FELICIA DAY: What?
RYON DAY: Oh, oh, CDs are the powerful one.
So we just have to use, just hold down B.
FELICIA DAY: Oh yeah.
RYON DAY: Just hold down B. And now just kill
all of these people.
Just kill them all.
FELICIA DAY: God, we really want to get to this concert.
I'm just pressing A.
RYON DAY: Oh man, I died already.
This game is impossibly hard.
FELICIA DAY: No, no, it's not.
The revolution's worth it.
RYON DAY: Oh look, shoot the--
shoot the--
FELICIA DAY: Shoot the cat.
RYON DAY: Shoot the cat?
FELICIA DAY: No, I don't like shooting the cat.
What are we supposed to be doing?
RYON DAY: Shoot the garbage can.
Shoot the garbage can until CDs come out.
Oh [BLEEP].
FELICIA DAY: What the hell?
Whoa.
RYON DAY: Wow.
What?
FELICIA DAY: All right, this is--
RYON DAY: Really?
FELICIA DAY: This is no walk in the park, I guess.
RYON DAY: All right, sure.
Whatever.
Look at how fast my health is going down.
FELICIA DAY: No, this is no joke.
We are [BLEEP].
People do not want you to enjoy tunes.
RYON DAY: Wow, they really do not like Aerosmith, do they?
We got to get healths or something.
Like this is insane.
This game is crazy hard.
FELICIA DAY: This is really hard to--
RYON DAY: What?
FELICIA DAY: This is really hard to steer.
No, you got to get your [BLEEP].
RYON DAY: Oh, I got a gun now.
FELICIA DAY: You think the stakes are--
RYON DAY: Super gun!
FELICIA DAY: You think in '86 they threw beta tapes at
[INAUDIBLE].
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS]
Cassettes?
FELICIA DAY: New Order.
RYON DAY: Ah, my super gun ran out.
FELICIA DAY: How'd you get a super gun?
RYON DAY: It was on the ground, and I
shot it like you do.
FELICIA DAY: Disc--
I have 74 discs.
RYON DAY: Whoa.
Well, I just made a choice for us.
I don't know what I was doing.
FELICIA DAY: CD disc.
It's not even a-- it's a CD disc.
RYON DAY: CD disc.
FELICIA DAY: That's what they call them, CD disc.
RYON DAY: It's a compact disc disc.
FELICIA DAY: CD disc.
RYON DAY: I died again.
FELICIA DAY: I mean, honestly.
I feel my priorities as a citizen are bad.
Well, remember that other game we played on the Amiga,
"Techno Cop?"
RYON DAY: Oh, "Techno Cop" was great.
FELICIA DAY: That's a great game.
RYON DAY: What the hell?
FELICIA DAY: What the [BLEEP]?
RYON DAY: It's like there's nothing you can do.
It's like you're on a timer.
In or out?
I want to go in.
FELICIA DAY: Let's go in.
Let's go over here.
RYON DAY: OK.
FELICIA DAY: Oh god, we made the wrong choice.
RYON DAY: Those are the biggest lava
lamps I have ever seen.
FELICIA DAY: No, there's a woman in there.
RYON DAY: Oh.
FELICIA DAY: Get your cursor off her please.
There's work to be done.
You have to kill revolutionaries.
Oh god, we got to go back.
RYON DAY: Oh, we got to go back.
I don't want to go back really.
FELICIA DAY: We have to use the bathroom.
The bathroom was in the other direction.
RYON DAY: So this is probably about as hard as the arcade
game was, and it's just a way to get quarters.
FELICIA DAY: Jesus.
RYON DAY: I imagine we would have spent $0.75 already.
FELICIA DAY: Already.
RYON DAY: Each.
FELICIA DAY: Well, we played $0.99 for this.
Do we have any guarantee that we're going to get in this
concert, because that would [BLEEP]
suck.
RYON DAY: Like oh, I forgot my tickets.
She's just dancing away.
She doesn't care.
FELICIA DAY: She's not fazed.
She's not fazed.
Can we go in here?
RYON DAY: Ah [BLEEP]
me.
FELICIA DAY: Oh good.
RYON DAY: Whoa.
Look at those speakers.
FELICIA DAY: This is awful.
[HUMMING].
RYON DAY: I have like 420 CDs.
FELICIA DAY: Well, you need to [BLEEP].
RYON DAY: One iPod.
FELICIA DAY: Are you saving them?
God, [BLEEP], I'm bad.
RYON DAY: Oh, look at that.
Tonight.
Hold on, Steven Tyler.
FELICIA DAY: Tonight.
Who is that guy?
RYON DAY: That's Steven Tyler, I bet.
FELICIA DAY: It's not Steven Tyler.
Is it?
I can't tell.
RYON DAY: He just doesn't look old enough or what?
Oh, there they are.
FELICIA DAY: Don't kill them.
Don't kill them.
RYON DAY: Don't kill Aerosmith.
FELICIA DAY: Don't kill them.
I'll throw CDs at them, because I love them so much.
Whoa!
Get off the stage.
RYON DAY: Whoa.
What are you doing?
Oh no.
FELICIA DAY: No, they took them away.
Look at her.
RYON DAY: What's up, girl?
FELICIA DAY: Oh, no.
She did not.
RYON DAY: What in the world?
What is this?
FELICIA DAY: We got to go up the ladder to find the heart
of rock and roll.
RYON DAY: I don't recognize this from any of Aerosmith's
catalog really.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, I don't.
[HUMMING].
I don't think they actually composed this.
I'm just going to go out on a limb.
You know, Stephen didn't put his artistry into this.
God, they are just [BLEEP]
me though.
RYON DAY: I got to confess this is actually pretty fun.
FELICIA DAY: It is pretty fun.
RYON DAY: All right.
Oh, Steven.
FELICIA DAY: Steven.
[BLEEP].
We're going to do coke with him and have
sex with some ***.
You know we are.
RYON DAY: We're going to do some blow, bump some rails.
FELICIA DAY: Do some blow.
Bump some rails.
Come on, Steven.
Talk to us.
He's like, I'm on the TV, man.
RYON DAY: I think is he supposed
to be saying something?
STEVEN TYLER: Music is the weapon.
RYON DAY: What?
That's not possible.
Breaking the fourth wall.
FELICIA DAY: Whoa.
He was talking to us.
And we were just [BLEEP].
RYON DAY: He pushed some keys out from the [BLEEP]
TV screen.
FELICIA DAY: Steven Tyler can do whatever the hell he wants.
RYON DAY: "Find Aerosmith's car."
FELICIA DAY: What are we, his valet now?
I know you killed about 400 civilians.
I need you to do something else.
He's going to sign one or two of these.
You know he will, right?
RYON DAY: We're just [BLEEP]
up downtown LA though, aren't we?
FELICIA DAY: Well, I mean, Steven Tyler says it's cool.
What's a good New Order song?
RYON DAY: "I Just Can't Get Enough." Oh, that's [BLEEP]
Depeche Mode.
FELICIA DAY: I know, I can never.
Whenever I have to think of something musical--
RYON DAY: I either think of Depeche Mode or The Cure.
FELICIA DAY: [SINGING "FRIDAY I'M IN LOVE"]
Was that New Order?
RYON DAY: That's The Cure.
That's The Cure too.
FELICIA DAY: [BLEEP]
it.
RYON DAY: Oh, oh, oh--
FELICIA DAY: Hey, guys--
RYON DAY: [HUMMING AND SINGING "REGERT"]
BOTH: [SINGING "REGERT"]
FELICIA DAY: No, we're turning to the dark side.
Stop.
RYON DAY: Don't let Steven King hear us singing.
FELICIA DAY: Steven King?
Steven Tyler.
RYON DAY: Or Steven King.
[LAUGHS]
Don't let Steven King hear it either.
FELICIA DAY: He's going to be angry.
He's going to write a book.
RYON DAY: What are these guys?
Who are you?
FELICIA DAY: I'm going to be honest with you.
I kinda love New Age songs way better than Aerosmith.
RYON DAY: New Age songs?
FELICIA DAY: I mean New Order songs.
RYON DAY: Like Enya?
FELICIA DAY: No.
Well, I like New Age songs too.
Not really.
God, are these Roller Derby people?
Aggressive.
RYON DAY: Boy, The New Order is pretty cool.
Oh god, I died again.
FELICIA DAY: We have infinite continues, and like all your--
RYON DAY: Imagine how much money we would have spent.
It's like $20 by now.
FELICIA DAY: $20 bucks already.
I don't know.
Arcades were fun, but.
RYON DAY: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: I liked watching people play like "Mortal
Kombat" the most.
I like played "Tetris." One time, I played "Tetris" and it
rolled over.
RYON DAY: You rolled over the score, didn't you?
I remember.
I was there.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, and then it went to zero.
I cried.
Oh god.
RYON DAY: Oh, the chopper.
Get to the chopper.
All right.
You want to shoot the missiles?
And I'll get the chopper.
FELICIA DAY: No, let's not plan anything.
RYON DAY: Kill the engine.
Kill the pilots.
Kill everybody.
FELICIA DAY: Steven Tyler needs his car.
RYON DAY: Steven Tyler [BLEEP].
FELICIA DAY: He needs to make babies who are beautiful we
want to look at.
RYON DAY: Aerosmith said they'd
listen to our demo tape.
FELICIA DAY: God, this is a very persistent vehicle.
RYON DAY: This chopper is just nuts.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, oh.
I don't even notice when we die.
RYON DAY: Look.
We killed the pilots.
And the chopper is still like a--
FELICIA DAY: This is why The New Order is bad.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
FELICIA DAY: You know what it is the grossest thing?
Imagining Steven Tyler eat pudding.
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS]
With the gigantic lips.
FELICIA DAY: I don't want to think about it.
I don't want to think about it.
RYON DAY: (BRITISH ACCENT) I like me pudding.
FELICIA DAY: He's not British.
RYON DAY: Is he British?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
RYON DAY: Oh.
All right.
No more pudding for you, Steven Tyler chopper.
FELICIA DAY: Holy [BLEEP].
RYON DAY: Oh, there's the Aerosmith-mobile.
FELICIA DAY: Is that a Delorean, or a Ferrari, or a
Lamborghini?
RYON DAY: It's a Lamborghini.
FELICIA DAY: Cool.
We murdered hundreds of people to get--.
RYON DAY: Oh, Steven Tyler.
Wait.
Wait.
He's got something to say.
STEVEN TYLER: From here, it's up to you.
FELICIA DAY: We keep talking.
We got to go to the jungle.
RYON DAY: We have to drive the Lamborghini to the Amazon
jungle from LA.
FELICIA DAY: And we got to do it.
We got to do that.
RYON DAY: We--
whoa.
JOE PERRY: These guys are maggots.
They're putting chemicals in all our food.
FELICIA DAY: Something about maggots in our food.
RYON DAY: They're putting chemicals in our food.
He's like Alex Jones, like on the [BLEEP]
[INAUDIBLE].
FELICIA DAY: They're going to let us in the concert if we do
all these things.
So here's what you need to do.
RYON DAY: Putting chemicals in our food.
FELICIA DAY: Kill thousands of people.
Get my car.
RYON DAY: The vapor trails, man.
The vapor--
whoa, this is not cool
FELICIA DAY: This is not cool.
So we're killing all the natives, because Steven
Tyler's bandmate thinks there's like some
chemicals in the food.
RYON DAY: There's chemicals in the food.
FELICIA DAY: Let's make sure they can never have
ecotourism.
RYON DAY: To make sure that Aerosmith can
have all their additives.
Oh look, more ***.
Come on, New Order.
FELICIA DAY: Come on.
RYON DAY: You and your [BLEEP]
Brit pop.
FELICIA DAY: I love Brit pop.
RYON DAY: Come on, Morrissey.
FELICIA DAY: I love Morrissey.
I'm on the other side.
I'm only doing this for you, because your dream is to party
with Steven Tyler.
That's my back story.
Question.
Is there a band that you would actually create
a revolution for?
I kinda like Tegan and Sara.
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS]
FELICIA DAY: They're sisters, but they're lesbians.
They're not lesbians together.
I just found that out, man.
RYON DAY: Thanks for clearing that up.
FELICIA DAY: Whoa, there's [BLEEP]
in the wall.
There's [BLEEP]
in the wall.
You didn't pick a band.
Would it be Mumford & Sons?
RYON DAY: My friends, I got to give a shout out.
My friends said they're were going to open a food truck
called Mumford & Buns.
[LAUGHTER]
FELICIA DAY: And the mascot is just a bun and a beard.
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS]
FELICIA DAY: Oh god.
It's Tegan and Soft Serve.
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS]
FELICIA DAY: They could team up really.
RYON DAY: Here's where they're putting the
chemicals in the food.
FELICIA DAY: Oh god.
This is it.
RYON DAY: What is that?
FELICIA DAY: Go back there and see if you can blow up.
Oh ***.
RYON DAY: Tegan and Soft Serve.
[LAUGHS]
FELICIA DAY: You didn't pick a band.
It's not Aerosmith, is it?
RYON DAY: No, it's definitely not Aerosmith.
I think maybe Iron Maiden.
That would be--
FELICIA DAY: What?
RYON DAY: I would be all over the Iron Maiden.
FELICIA DAY: Are you kidding?
RYON DAY: No, seriously.
FELICIA DAY: That is w--
why?
RYON DAY: Because they [BLEEP]
rock.
What?
Wow.
What in the world?
FELICIA DAY: Wow, you do not want to have ***
relations with that.
RYON DAY: Wow.
They transform strippers into old hags.
FELICIA DAY: They're taking strippers away from the world.
No wonder we're [INAUDIBLE]
here.
RYON DAY: No, they create old hags from strippers just like
strip clubs do, so.
FELICIA DAY: No, no.
They were taking hot girls and turning them into old hags.
Oh, [BLEEP].
What's going on?
RYON DAY: Oh what in the world?
This is Steven Tyler's chemicals, right here.
FELICIA DAY: Right here.
This is Stevia.
No, Stevia's that chick.
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS]
FELICIA DAY: Stevia.
He wants.
Steven Tyler.
RYON DAY: You're rather witty today.
This is good.
FELICIA DAY: Steven Tyler wants to replace the world
with Stevia.
He invented it.
It's his sweetener.
RYON DAY: High fructose corn syrup.
FELICIA DAY: Aspertane.
Are we doing any damage whatsoever on this guy?
RYON DAY: It feels like we're doing pretty good.
I mean, there's really no indication that we're doing
anything, but we just have to have-- there we go.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, OK.
RYON DAY: Sweet.
The chemicals are out of our food.
FELICIA DAY: [SINGING]
22 wiped out.
Accuracy terrible.
Zero rescued.
We rescued zero hot women.
I feel awkward about it.
RYON DAY: Oh, let's invade the Middle East.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, let's do that.
RYON DAY: That seems like a good idea.
TOM HAMILTON: Stop the New Order bus.
FELICIA DAY: That was it.
RYON DAY: He was paid $500,000 for that.
FELICIA DAY: God, so many hot strippers.
This is the weirdest game.
This is weirder than "Moonwalker."
RYON DAY: This really is bizarre. "Moonwalker," what an
amazing game!
FELICIA DAY: Nope.
Nope.
You know what's vulnerable, the back.
RYON DAY: Oh, whoa.
I, I--
FELICIA DAY: Censored?
RYON DAY: I think I ran out of continues.
FELICIA DAY: Are you kidding?
RYON DAY: No.
FELICIA DAY: Why are you censored?
RYON DAY: How can you roller blade at all through the
desert, much less at that rate of speed.
FELICIA DAY: How is it possible?
We went through so many continues.
There's no way.
Steven Tyler, why did you--
why did you rip us apart, Steven?
RYON DAY: Hit the Speed Up button.
FELICIA DAY: Oh.
RYON DAY: There we go.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, got you.
RYON DAY: Oh, hit the Slow Down.
Whoa, you're going much faster.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, there we go.
They're actually--
RYON DAY: Oh.
FELICIA DAY: Oh man.
RYON DAY: Wow.
FELICIA DAY: That's disappointing.
RYON DAY: So you get a ton of continues, but not that many.
FELICIA DAY: So we got like 20 million continues, and then
they're like you're done.
RYON DAY: Wow.
FELICIA DAY: God.
Look at this.
CP.
RYON DAY: [BLEEP]
explodes like [EXPLODING SOUND].
FELICIA DAY: You were number one, dude.
You had twice my score.
Well, guys, it's a disappointment, but they
decided to cut us off.
RYON DAY: Yep, sorry.
FELICIA DAY: We will not party with Steven Tyler.
I would rate this.
This is awesome.
RYON DAY: 10 million frizzy strands of mid '90s band
member hair pointing in various directions.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, 10 bags of blow.
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS]
If you have any favorite Aerosmith songs or mid '90s
heartthrobs, be sure and share them
inside the YouTube comments.
FELICIA DAY: Or any band pun food trucks.
RYON DAY: Any good food truck band puns you want.
FELICIA DAY: That's my favorite.
RYON DAY: That'd be good.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, that'd be great.
RYON DAY: See you at Mumford & Buns at some point.
FELICIA DAY: Or Tegan and Soft Serve.
That's awesome.
All right.
Subscribe.
Well see you next week.
RYON DAY: Share.
FELICIA DAY: Bye.
[MUSIC PLAYING]