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Hi, my name is Ariel, and I'm a mermaid princess. And I also collect human artifacts!
Ariel is a hoarder.She used to do this back when she lived at home, but now that she's
back, it's been much worse. When I was younger I used to keep all of my
human artifacts in a really cool cavern, but then Daddy found it and he destroyed everything.
But now... Daddy's gone... The girl is crazy, mon. We all warned her
not to get involved with humans, but she didn't listen. I can't put up with this much longer.
She wound up marrying this prince, and they had a kid together, and he kicked her to the
curb last year. When I first met Ariel, I thought she was
hot. But it was kind of a pain with her not talking. And THEN I met Vanessa.. whoo! Who
I thought saved me from drowning, but then I find out ON MY WEDDING DAY, that she's this
big old sea witch! So then I have to fight this sea witch, and
she became all gigantic. It was really messed up.
Anyway we ended up defeating the sea witch, and I married Ariel, who could talk by then.
And, uh, and that was really exciting... at first... and then it got a little... annoying.
And I don't just mean annoying the way it's annoying when normal women talk. Like, really
annoying.
Woops! I dropped my dinglehopper. Fork.
What? That thing you dropped. It's called a fork.
It's a dinglehopper. It's a FORK. God, we've been over this like
a thousand times since we got married. It's a fork! You know it's embarrassing when people
come over! But scuttle said-
SCUTTLE IS A SEAGULL! I AM A MAN! A HUMAN MAN! I KNOW MY UNTENSILS! IT'S A FORK! god,
I'm tired of being corrected by something a freaking SEAGULL told you! Hey, do you know
what MAX, my DOG told me? Nothing, because he's a DOG, and I'm a MAN! That's it. I'm
leaving.
You forgot your snarfblat!
On top of ALL this, ANOTHER sea witch lures my daughter away, and then I have to go fight
HER! TWO sea witches? Really? That's just way too much baggage for me. So then I got
this great idea. I got my parents, who are royalty, to instate divorce! Hah? I kicked
her to the curb, I got custody of our daughter, and no more crazy ocean crap!
I mean, what did I know, I was 16 and I was naive. But I mean, you know a guy is full
of himself when, for his birthday, he gets a statue of himself from his manservant.
After Eric divorced me, I moved back to the palace, and then Daddy got in a fight with
a giant squid, and he didn't make it. All of my sisters have moved to other seas, and
I haven't seen Flounder in years, the castle just eventually got too big for me. So I moved
into this abandoned shipwreck, and now I'm here!
I used to keep minnows in here, but they swam away.
(Ariel is singing) ARIEL! STOP IT! She's driving me crazy.
Hi Ariel, my name is Coralinda, your friend Sebastian called me because he was concerned
about your home situation and wanted me to meet with you.
I collect human artifacts! Do you wanna see everything?
Ariel, you can barely swim in here! Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?
Ariel, that's a chamber pot. Humans use it!
Ariel, humans poop in that! There are barnacles on it! There are barnacles everywhere!
There is actually coral reef forming on this... oh my gosh!
What is it? There's a clam bed under here! Ariel, this
is so unsanitary. I didn't realize how bad everything had gotten.
Well it's ok, I'm here to help you sort everything out.
I don't want to give up my human things! I have even more than when Daddy destroyed them.
Well you don't have to give up everything. But maybe you don't need so many of the same
thing. This, for instance, this here, how many of these do you have?
Thingamabobs? I've got 20... See, that's more than enough-
thousand. Oh my.
No, not that it's my favorite! You have 20 thousand of these! You just told
me. I NEED THEM ALL!
You can do without this one. We'll start with one and then-
But I named it! What did you name it?
Fred. Ok, well Fred's gonna have a new home from
now on, we're gonna put him over here, and Fred's gonna make someone very happy.
It's ok, it's just one, you have several... thousand... others.
And this Oh no no no no!
I can see you have several! I FOUND THIS!
But Ariel you don't need this one. Oh but..
It's for candles! I do need it! Look at it!
It's for candles, you can't even light candles in this Ocean!
Ariel, be realistic! I know you can do this. This is-
NO! Ariel!
NO! Come on! You know, you can't!
Come on Ariel, you can do this, you're strong. And this is gonna go too. I mean you don't,
I mean I know you have two right here. There's two right here in front of you. You don't
need this one. But.. but that's a chamber pot and that's
a cooking pot!