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>>> WELCOME TO "RED EYE."
I'M GREG GUTFELD.
OR AS I WAS KNOWN IN THE
90s, BELINDA CARLISLE.
ANDY, WHAT IS COMING UP ON
TONIGHT'S SHOW?
>> OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT,
THANKS TO THE COOL LONDON
WEATHER, OLYMPIC BEACH
VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS WILL BE
FORCED TO WEAR FULL BODY
SUITS.
PLUS, A GREEK ATHLETE BECOMES
THE FIRST EVER OLYMPIAN TO BE
KICKED OFF A TEAM OR A TWEET.
FINALLY SUING A SCHOOL OVER A
BAD GRADE?
THE SHOCKING STORY I WISH I
HAD KNOWN WAS AN OPTION.
>> THE GO GO'S GOING TO BE IN
NEW YORK IN OCTOBER.
>> WHO ARE THEY?
>> A LITTLE BAND YOU USED TO
BE IN APPARENTLY.
>> OH THEM.
WE DON'T TALK MUCH.
MY SOLO CAREER WAS MUCH
BETTER.
>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THEY KEPT ME DOWN.
>> I DON'T THINK THAT'S TRUE
EITHER.
>> GO AWAY.
LET'S START THE SHOW.
LET'S WELCOME OUR GUEST.
SHE IS SO CUTE THAT BABIES
CARRY PICTURES OF HER IN THEIR
WALLETS .
IF HILARITY WAS A
ROLLERCOASTER I WOULD SCREAM
MY HEAD OFF WHILE RIDING HIM.
IT IS THE FATHER OF GAVIN WHO
WAS TALKING WITH STREET
CARNAGE .COM.
THE BOOK IS CALLED HOW TO
BLEEP IN PUBLIC.
AND HE HAS BEEN BANNED FROM
EVERY PETTING ZOO ACROSS THE
COUNTRY.
IT IS MY SIDEKICK, BILL
SCHULZ.
AND HE IS SO BRITISH HIS STIFF
UPPER LIP HAS A STIFF UPPER
LIP.
AND HE WOULD LOVE TO END HIS
DAYS BY SETTING HIM ABLAZE.
GOOD TO SEE YOU, PINCH.
>> IN THE PAPER OF RECORD,
STEVE ARRIMGER LOOKS AT THE
POLITICAL MAKE UP OF FRANCE
AND ASKS THE QUESTION, WHAT
EXACTLY IS A SOCIALIST?
>> PINCH?
>> YES, INTERN PORCH.
>> SOMETIMES ME THINK YOU IS A
SOCIALIST.
>> IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK?
>> SOMETIMES I THINK YOU CHUG
DRAINO IN YOUR LUNCH BREAKS ?
>> WHAT IS DRAINO?
I TRY IT WITH BLUEBERRY
JUICE.
NUMMY IN MY TUMMY.
>> GET HIM OUT OF HERE.
HELLO, MR. HUNT.
>> HE JUST SEEMS HAPPY TO BE
HERE, GREG.
>> HE DOES.
>> AFTER SUCH A WONDERFUL
DISCOURSE.
>> IS IT A SPORT MINUS THE
SHORT?
VOLLEYBALL ON SAND WILL BE
SUPER BLAND AT THIS YEAR'S
OLYMPIC WITH LONDON'S DREARY
WEATHER FORCING THE WELL ABED
ATHLETES OUT OF THEIR BIKINIS
AND INTO FULL BODY SUITS.
TERRIBLE.
SAYS ONE AUSSIE PLAYER, QUOTE,
WE NEED IT TO KEEP OUR MUSCLES
WARM.
LIKE WE CARE.
A LONDON COMPANY SAYS
AMERICANS AMERICAN FLOODING
THE CITIES SAYING I AM RENTING
MY FLAT TO FAT AMERICAN
FAMILY.
LONDON, YOU ARE FAT TOO.
LET'S GO LIVE TO MIKE MICHAELS
IN LONDON.
I MUST WARN VIEWERS THAT THERE
IS A SLIGHT TAPE DELAY BEING
LONDON.
SO MIKE, HELLO.
WHAT IS THE VIBE OUT THERE?
>> GREG YOU CAN GET A BIG
SENSE OF THE EXCITEMENT IN
LONDON.
>> HAVE YOU HAD A CHANCE TO
TALK TO ANY OF THE ATHLETES?
>> THANKS, GREG.
THIS FEELS LIKE A MASSIVE
EVENT.
IT IS ALL VERY EXCITING.
>> WELL, WHAT STORIES ARE YOU
WORKING ON?
>> THANKS, GREG.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT
OLYMPIC STORIES TO BE TOLD THE
NEXT FEW WEEKS.
>> MIG ELSE WE SHOULD KNOW --
ANYTHING ELSE WE SHOULD KNOW?
>> THAT'S IT FROM LONDON.
BACK TO YOU, GREG.
>> WELL, THAT WAS DEFINITELY
WORTH THE MONEY WE SPENT ON
THAT.
WE WILL BE CHECKING IN WITH
MIKE THROUGHOUT THE OLYMPICS.
JONATHON, YOU HALE FROM THE
OLYMPIC CITY OF LONDON.
DO YOU CARE NOW TO APOLOGIZE
TO AMERICA AND TO THE AMERICAN
MEN IN GENERAL FOR WHAT YOU
ARE DOING TO THE VOLLEYBALL
PLAYERS ?
>> IT IS APPALLING AS SOMEBODY
WHO GREW UP IN LONDON DOING
YARDWORK WITH MY FATHER
DECEMBER OR JULY WEARING
NOTHING BUT MATCHING LEOPARD
PRINT SPEEDOS -- DAD TOLD ME
IT WAS NORMAL.
I HAVE NO SYMPATHY.
DO THEY HONESTLY THINK WE
WATCH IT FOR THE SPORT?
COME ON.
>> THEY ARE MARVELOUS
ATHLETES.
WHY NOT HAVE BOTH?
IT IS A PEANUT BUTTER CUP OF
ATHLETICISM.
>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
IT IS AN ABSOLUTE HONOR.
I DON'T SPEAK -- [BLEEP].
SEAN CONNERY DOES IT.
I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT.
>> WILL THIS SPORT LOSE SOME
OF ITS INTEGRITY IF THE
PLAYERS COVER UP?
>> OH YES, IF THE PLAYERS I
WILL LOSE SOME.
EVEN JOHN AGREES.
THE BLOOD EMUS LIMBS HAVE
TAKEN IT OVER.
NOW THE ONLY GOOD THING WITH
THE OLYMPICS IS THE NICKERS
AND NOW THEY ARE WEARING A
BIKINI AND THAT IS THE END OF
THAT.
THESE PEOPLE ARE TOURISTS.
THE ATHLETES ARE TOURISTS.
WEAR YOUR LOCAL [BLEEP].
>> I COULD UNDERSTAND ONE WORD
IN THAT.
>> GAVIN DIDN'T FILL HIM IN ON
THE NO SWEARING.
JEDEDIAH, A LOT OF CITIES TRY
TO CHANGE THE WEATHER.
CHINA HAS DONE IT.
RUSSIA HAS DONE IT.
WHY SHOULDN'T ENGLAND TRY TO
DO IT SO THEY CAN COMPETE
UNI'M COME BETTERED.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHY.
WE HAVE A WHOLE PANEL OF
GUYS.
FITTED LONG SLEEVED BODY SUIT
SHOWS THE CONTOURS.
IS THAT NOT A LITTLE SEXY
STILL?
>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT?
>> THE *** GET COLD, BUT
IT COVER ITSELF UP AND LEAVES
A LITTLE TO THE IMAGINATION.
>> NOBODY HERE KNOW WHAT'S THE
WORD CONTOUR MEANS.
KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE BEFORE YOU
TURN US ON.
>> NOBODY HAS AN IMAGINATION
EITHER.
>> I KNEAD TO SEE EVERYTHING.
BILL, YOU WON SEVERAL GOLDS IN
THE HOMELESS VOLLEYBALL.
DO YOU CARE TO COMMENT ON
THIS?
>> THE BOTTLE WAS THE BALL,O
WE ALL WON IN THAT SENSE.
THIS SPORT STARTED IN 1996 FOR
ONE REASON AND ONE REASON
ONLY.
NOT COINCIDENTALLY, IT
HAPPENED TO HAVE BEEN THE PEAK
OF ALL THINGS BAYWATCH.
THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE
DOING.
THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE
DOING.
THEY HAVE REDPRESSED FOR
GOD -- REGRESSED FOR GOD KNOWS
WHY.
NOW I AM REALLY NOT GOING TO
VIEW.
>> DO DO YOU THINK I AM SEXY
BECAUSE I AM WORKING OUT?
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME
BECAUSE I AM PERFECT?
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT.
THAT'S LIKE PANTS SAYING WHY
ARE YOU STARING AT ME WITH MY
WE BLACK AND GOLD.
IT HAS AN AMAZING.
CAN WE NOT LOOK AT THEM?
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
SAYING.
>> IT SOUNDED LIKE A BLACK
PANTHER.
>> IT IS LIKE A BUG GOING,
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
A GIANT WINGSPAN?
>> I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE
BAG, JONATHON.
DO BRITS HAVE SOMETHING
AGAINST AMERICANS ?
>> YES.
>> ARE BRITS THAT SLIM,
REALLY?
>> I WOULD MAKE ANY BRIT
CARRYING THAT PARTICULAR BAG,
THEY SHOULD BE THE ONES
WALKING AROUND IN A MANKINI
FOR THE ENTIRE DURATION OF THE
OLYMPICS.
AND SHOW US YOUR TEETH,
BRITS.
>> BELOW THE BELT.
>> JEDEDIAH, PRESIDENT OBAMA
HASN'T RESPONDED.
>> HE NEEDS TO BE RESPONDING
TO THIS.
>> SHOULD AMERICA RESPOND TO
THIS HANDBAG AS AN ACT OF
WAR?
>> LOOK, I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS
FOR YOU.
THE ENTIRE WORLD IS MAKING
JOKES ABOUT HOW FAT YOU ARE.
YOU GO TO SLEEP AND YOU SHOUT,
IT SAYS MISSION IMPOSSIBLE AND
I HAVE THESE TWO FAT AMERICANS
FACING EACH OTHER AND YOU SAID
NO.
YOU SAID NO.
THEY ARE NUDE, AND THAT IS NOT
GOING TO HAPPEN.
AMERICANS DON'T KNOW THEY ARE
FAT.
YOU ARE HUGE.
>> WE CAN AFFORD TO BE HUGE.
AMERICA IS A BIG COUNTRY.
>> SORRY.
>> WHAT IS WITH THE AMERICAN
ECONOMY CRITICIZED.
OHIO SUCKS.
DON'T MAKE FUN OF OHIO.
>> BILL, LAST WORDS?
>> FIRST OF ALL, I SUBSCRIBE
TO A WONDERFUL SCOTTISH
EXPORT, ***, AND I AM THE
OPPOSITE OF FAT.
>> ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
WE HAVE TO MOVE ON.
FROM BEACHES TO BIGOTS, THE
CONTEST TO BECOME THE FIRST
OLYMPIAN KICKED OUT OF THE
GAMES BECAUSE OF TWEET IS
OVER.
AND YOUR WINNER IS GREEK
TRIPLE JUMPER AND HERE IS THE
TWEET THAT GOT HER BOOTED.
PUT THAT IN ENGLISH, PLEASE.
WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT,
GRECCO?
WEST NILE MOSQUITOES WILL EAT
HOMEMADE FOOD.
HE LATER APOLOGIZED ON TWITTER
AND FACEBOOK CALLING HER
COMMENT A TASTELESS JOKE.
SHE LOOKS CUTE THERE.
I NEVER WANTED TO OFFEND
ANYONE OR TO ENCROACH HUMAN
RIGHTS.
MY DREAM IS CONNECTED TO THE
OLYMPIC GAMES I COULD NOT
POSSIBLY PARTICIPATE IF I DID
NOT RESPECT THEIR VALUES.
THIS WASN'T ENOUGH.
APPARENTLY GREECE DROPPED HER
FROM THE TEAM QUOTE, FOR
STATEMENTS CONTRARY TO THE
VALUES AND OLYMPIC MOVEMENT.
WHAT IS THE LATEST ON THIS
ISSUE.
>> DID YOU GET THIS E-MAIL
ABOUT THE TRIPLE JUMP?
I DON'T KNOW WHY WE ARE
COVERING IT.
I DON'T CARE.
I AM TRYING TO GET PASSES FOR
THE TIE QUAN DO STUFF.
>> MIKE, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
>> HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO ANY
WORK FOR.
IT.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
WE WILL FIGURE IT OUT.
WORST COMES TO WORSE WE CAN
PAY SOMEBODY OFF AND GET IN.
JUST DON'T BRING THE CAMERA.
I DON'T CARE, WHATEVER.
>> MIKE?
>> IT IS GOING TO BE A LONG
SUMMER.
>> IDIOTIC TWEET, BUT SHOULD
SHE HAVE BEEN KICKED OFF THE
TEAM?
>> I THINK IT IS IDIOTIC TO
THINK THE PUBLIC TWITTER TIME
LINE IS SOMETHING THAT IS
PRIVATE.
THERE IS NO PRIVACY THERE.
IF YOU ARE GOING TO REPRESENT
THE ORGANIZATION OR GROUP OR
WHATEVER YOU NEED TO ABIDE BY
THEIR VALUE SYSTEM OR
RECOGNIZE THEY COULD GET
CANNED.
THAT'S A POSSIBILITY.
I AM A SUPPORTER OF PRE
SPEECH, BUT YOU ARE
REPRESENTING THE OLYMPICS.
DON'T PUT SOMETHING OUT THERE
THAT COULD BE MISCONSTRUED
UNLESS YOU DON'T CARE.
>> MISS MISCONSTRUE OR JUST
PLAIN STUPID.
>> IT IS ENGLAND SO IT IS
PRIVACY.
>> SINCE YOU H TALKING, YOU
ARE ACTUALLY IMMUNE FROM THE
DISEASES.
THEY DRINK YOUR BLOOD AND DIE
IMMEDIATELY.
>> IT IS AMAZING.
>> WHY DID I GET A FREE
TICKET?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT -- NO
WHERE WAS RACE -- SHE WAS
TALKING ABOUT AN AREA THAT
PEOPLE LIVE IN.
SHE WAS TRYING TO OFFEND
PEOPLE FROM WEST AFRICA.
IT IS RIGHT THERE IN BLACK AND
WHITE.
SHE WAS TRYING TO OFFEND THEM,
MAYBE APOLOGIZE TO THEM, BUT
THIS POOR, REALLY HOT GIRL HAS
BEEN TRAINING HER ENTIRE LIFE,
AND FOR A TWEET, SLAP HER ON
THE WRIST.
MAYBE NOT LET HER GO TO THE
OLYMPIC CAFE, BUT DON'T KILL
HER OLYMPIC GOALS.
AS LITTLE AS THEY ARE.
>> HERE IS THE THING.
I SAW GAVIN'S FATHER SAY IT
WASN'T RACIST, AND IT WASN'T
OFFENSIVE.
WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS THERE ARE
LOTS OF THEM IN ANYWAY, SHAPE
OR FORM, THAT'S NOT A POSITIVE
THING.
>> THIS THERE IS A
CONGREGATION THERE THERE WILL
BE A LOT OF CARAVANS IS THAT
RACIST?
CAN'T YOU MAKE A
GENERALIZATION?
THERE WILL BE A LOT OF ALCOHOL
CONSUMED.
THAT'S NOT BLOOD ERASIST.
BLOODY RACIST.
STEP BACK.
A JOKE IS A THING THAT IS
BASED ON THE TRUTH WITH A WEE
TWIST.
>> THE TRUTH IS --
>> SHE WASN'T JOKING.
>> OF COURSE SHE WAS.
IT IS OBVIOUSLY A BLOODY
JOKE.
SHE SAID THE WEST NILE VIRUS,
CLEARLY ASSOCIATED WITH
AFRICA.
AFRICANS ARE OVER THERE.
OH THE BUGS ARE GOING TO BE
EATEN HOME FOOD.
IT IS TOTALLY DEVOID OF
PHOBIA.
YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON WHAT IS
IMPORTANT.
RACE IS INSANE.
>> I HAVE NO IDEA.
>> IT WAS THE MOST STUPID
TWEET TWEET -- STUPID COMMENT
FROM A WOMAN WHO PARTICIPATE
IN THE MOST STUPID SPORT IN
THE OLYMPICS.
LET'S EXPEL THE TRIPLE JUMP,
PLEASE.
>> REALLY, THE GREEKS HAVE
LAUGHED AT ANYBODY.
YOU NEED TO BAIL OUT FROM ALL
OF THIS?
>> THE MORAL TO THIS STORY IS
NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM
TWITTER, BUT THE ULTRA MORAL
IS NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM
TWITTER PLUS JOCKS.
HOW MANY ATHLETES WHEN THEY
GET ON HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY
ARE DOING AND WHAT THEY ARE
SAYING AND WHERE IT GOES.
IF I WAS RUNNING A COMPANY,
AND I HAD AN EMPLOYEE THAT
SAID SOMETHING REALLY STUPID
--
>> WOULD YOU STOP IT WITH
THAT?
IT WAS MEED YOLKER.
EVERY TIME SOMEBODY SEES
SOMETHING THAT IS CONSIDERED
RACIST, ALL OF THE PEOPLE THAT
DON'T AGREE, THEY SAY THAT
WASN'T RACIST.
IT WASN'T STUPID.
IT WAS A REASONABLE JOKE.
IT WAS A PERFECTLY OKAY JOKE.
>> WOULDN'T YOU THINK THOUGH
BEFORE YOU MADE A JOKE, TAKE A
MINUTE -- EVERY TIME WE THINK
OF SOMETHING AMUSING WE SAY
--
>> WELL BECAUSE SHE IS MAD SHE
MIGHT GET EXPELLED.
>> YOU HAVE TO GO SHOULDN'T
TAKE A [BLEEP] HERE.
YOU CAN'T LIVE LIKE THAT.
YOU HAVE A GOOD JOKE, LET IT
OUT.
YOU YOU CAN'T BE WORRIED ABOUT
THE ASSOCIATION.
>> HE'S OLD SCHOOL.
>> STOP SAYING IT WAS STUPID.
IT WASN'T STUPID.
>> YOU ARE LUCKY THIS IS NOW
SEALED.
>> CAN I MAKE ONE FINAL
POINT?
I WILL SACRIFICE MY POINT.
CAN WE HAVE A PICTURE OF HER
ON ALL FOUR'S AGAIN?
>> THERE WE GO.
YOU ARE WELCOME, AMERICA.
>> THAT WOULD SOLVE ALL
PROBLEMS.
THEY ARE WEARING A CONTOURED
SUIT.
>> IT IS POLITICALLY CORRECT.
>>> COMING UP, WHAT DOES
JEDEDIAH BILA DO TO BLOW OFF A
LITTLE STEAM?
WE DISCUSS HER MINI STEAM
BLOWER SHE PURCHASED FROM QVC,
BUT FIRST, WHAT?
BABESBABES IN BIKINIS?
IT MUST BE A STORY ABOUT THE
EURO ZONE DEBT CRISIS POSES A
RISK TO CHINA.
>>> THE SPAT OVER THAT
CONTINUES.
WAS THE PRESIDENT TALKING
ABOUT BUSINESSES OR ROADS AND
BRIDGES?
PERHAPS DIEWLG CAMPAIGN ADS
FROM OBAMA AND REPUBLICANS CAN
FINALLY SETTLE THIS.
ROLL TAPE, ROLL TAPERS.
>> TAKING MY WORD ABOUT THE
SMALL BUSINESS OUT OF CONTEXT,
THEY ARE FLAT OUT WRONG.
OF COURSE AMERICANS BUILD
THEIR OWN BUSINESSES.
EVERY DAY THEY MEET TO PAY
PAYROLL.
WE NEED TO STAND BEHIND THEM
AS AMERICA ALWAYS HAS.
>> ON WEDNESDAY THE GOP, NOT
SURE WHAT THAT IS, UNVEILED
THIS.
>> THERE WAS A GREAT TEACHER
SOMEWHERE IN YOUR LIFE.
SOMEBODY HELPED TO CREATE THIS
UNBELIEVABLE AMERICAN SYSTEM
WE HAVE THAT ALLOWED YOU TO
THRIVE.
SOMEBODY INVESTED IN ROADS AND
BUSINESSES.
AND BRIDGES.
IF YOU HAVE A BUSINESS, YOU
DIDN'T BUILD THAT.
SOMEBODY ELSE MADE THAT
HAPPEN.
>> I THINK HE STOLE THAT FROM
ME.
I SAID THAT.
WHICH AD MAKES A MORE
COMPELLING CASE?
BETTER QUESTION, WHAT IS IN
THIS DRAWER?
>> SORRY.
DIDN'T MEAN TO WAKE YOU.
>> THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO
WHEN I GO HOME.
>> DREAM NOW AND NIGHTMARE.
>> JEDEDIAH, YOU ARE NODDING
IN AGREEMENT WITH OBAMA.
WHY?
>> THIS PORTRAYS HIM IN HIS
OWN WORDS.
THIS IS WHAT HE SAID.
THERE IS NO BETTER AD THE GOP
COULD HAVE CREATED THAN TO
JUST PRESENT HIS OWN WORDS AND
SAY ACTUALLY YOU DID SAY
THAT.
HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT ROADS
AND BRIDGES.
HE WAS TALKING ABOUT
BUSINESSES AND IT IS AS PLAIN
AS DAY TO ME.
>> JONATHON YOU CLAIM TO BE A
PRESIDENT ARER.
>> WELL, SOMEBODY WHO IS --
WHO NEVER WORKED REMOTELY
HARD, NEVER OWNED A BUSINESS,
NEVER BEEN SIGNIFICANTLY
EMPLOYED AND NEVER BUILT
ANYTHING MORE THAN THE LE EM O
DINASAUR.
I AM UNIQUELY UNQUALIFIED TO
TALK ABOUT THIS.
I DO BELIEVE WE WOULD TALK
ABOUT REAL ISSUES, BRIDGES,
ROADS.
>> I LOVE THIS.
SUMMER THIS IS GREAT TO TALK
ABOUT BECAUSE IT FILLS BUCKETS
OF TIME.
YOU BUILT A COUPLE OF
BUSINESSES .
>> DID YOU SEE MY SON?
HE HAS SOLD DOZENS OF
COMPANIES.
HE SOLD AT LEAST TWO START
UPS, AND THAT'S WHAT OBAMA
DOESN'T GET.
WHEN YOU ARE A SUCCESSFUL
BUSINESSMAN YOU GET A SLEW
BEHIND YOU.
WHAT IS THAT COMPANY, SILL
LINDA?
IT IS ALL OF THESE STUPID
IDEAS.
THEN HE GOES BANKRUPT AND
REMORTGAGES THE HOUSE.
HAY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT
THE SECRET TO GETTING RICH, IT
SUCKS.
IT IS BLOODY HARD.
THE REASON IT IS A POLARIZING
QUOTE, IT IS EVERYONE WHO HAS
MADE SOME MONEY.
HE SAYS SEE YOU, YOU [BLEEP].
THEY MORTGAGED THE HOUSE FOR
THE PET ROCK IDEA.
SO IT TOOK OFF.
>> ANYONE IN GOVERNMENT WHO
HAS SPENT SEVERAL RIGHTS JUST
GOES, SEE, HUN, SHE IS RICH.
SEE ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE, THEY
ARE MAKING HIM RICH.
>> THE GUY FROM WAL-MART WENT
DOOR-TO-DOOR SELLING CRAP.
THAT'S NOT JUST AMERICA.
[INAUDIBLE].
>> IF WE TURNED THE VOLUME
DOWN PEOPLE WOULD THINK THIS
IS HITLER.
>> HITLER NEVER MADE A DIME,
BY THE WAY.
>> I KNOW WHO TO COMPARE IT
TO.
I HAVE SEEN HOW THAT GOES.
>> I WANT TO GET BILL IN
BEFORE WE TAKE A BREAK.
THE CANDIDATES ARE NOT TALKING
TO EACH OTHER.
IT IS ALMOST LIKE THEY ARE IN
A THERAPY SESSION WHERE ONE
CANDIDATE SAYS, WELL HE SAID
THIS.
AND THEN HE SAID -- SOMEBODY
ELSE, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
I SAID THIS.
THE OTHER CANDIDATE SAYS,
HUH-UH.
IT IS THEM TALKING TO EACH
OTHER.
THEY TALK THROUGH ADS.
IT IS LIKE BEING IN MARRIAGE
THERAPY.
>> BUT IT IS WORSE THAN THAT.
BICKERING CAN BE ENTERTAINING
IF IT IS CLEVER.
THIS IS JUST AWFUL.
I SAY THAT BECAUSE I HAVE
PBS.
DON'T WATCH IT, BUT I HAVE
PREVIEWS.
IT SOUNDS SO SIMPLE THAT A
THIRD GRADER COULD SEE IT.
A THIRD GRADER WROTE IT.
ONE OF THE ROMNEYS IS OUR
GRANDKIDS AND ONE OF THE
500,000 ACTUALLY WROTE THAT.
A FUN FACT, ALL ARE NAMED
MITT.
EVEN THE CHICK.
YOU CAN LOOK THAT UP.
>> I WANT TO GO TO A BREAK AND
CLEAN UP THIS MESS.
>> SOMEBODY HAS TO CLEAN IT
UP.
>> YOU CAN USE AN UMBRELLA
TOO.
>> IT IS A GOOD POINT.
>> WE DON'T USE UMBRELLAS.
>> WHAT DO YOU USE?
>>-
Q. I NOTHING.
--
>> NOTHING.
>> ARE YOU KIDDING?
>> DO YOU HAVE A COMMENT ON
THE SHOW?
E-MAIL US AT RED EYE AT FOX
NEWS.COM.
TO LEAVE A VOICEMAIL
212-462-5050.
STILL TO COME, THE HALF TIME
REPORT FROM TV'S ANDY LEVY.
>> TONIGHT'S HALF TIME REPORT
IS SPONSORED BY BEES, THOSE
FLYING INSECTS WITH FURRY
BODIES THAT MAKE BUZZING
SOUNDS AS THEY FLY.
THANKS, BEES.
>>> WELCOME BACK.
LET'S SEE IF WE HAVE ANYTHING
WRONG SO FAR.
LET'S GO TO ANDY LEVY.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M GREAT.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I KEEP ASKING
HOW ARE YOU?
>> IT IS NOT LIKE YOU CARE.
>> SO INSINCERE.
>> OLYMPIC BEACH VOLLEYBALL
TEAMS MAY HAVE TO WEAR A FULL
BODY UNIFORM.
YOU SAID YOU GREW UP DOING
YARDWORK WITH YOUR FATHER.
WAS IT MATCHING LEOPARD PRINT
SEE DOUGHS ?
>> ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
>> NO.
I BELIEVE WE HAVE A PICTURE.
CAN WE PUT THAT UP?
WE DON'T HAVE THE PICTURE.
>> DISAPPOINTMENT.
>> YOU TRICKED ME.
>> YOU SEEM TO THINK THERE IS
NO CHANCE ANYBODY WATCHES
BEACH VOLLEYBALL BECAUSE THEY
LIKE THE SPORT?
>> NO CHANCE.
>> I DO.
>> NO.
>> YES, I DO.
>> YOU ARE A LIAR.
YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE LIAR.
>> NO, AND I WILL GO FURTHER.
IT IS AN INSULT TO THE
ATHLETES YOU SAID WHAT YOU
SAID.
>> IT IS AN INSULT TO THE
TRUTH YOU SAID WHAT YOU SAID.
>> I ENJOY BEACH VOLLEYBALL.
>> I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU.
>> I DON'T CARE IF YOU BELIEVE
ME OR NOT.
IT IS TRUE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THIS COMES
DOWN TO?
SOMEBODY ON THE U.S. GIRL'S
TEAM IS FOLLOWING HIM ON
TWITTER.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THIS IS.
EXACTLY.
>> A, THAT'S COMPLETELY NOT
TRUE.
B, THEY ARE WOMEN, BILL.
THEY ARE NOT GIRLS.
>> HAVE YOU NO CHANCE WITH
THAT GIRL, GABBY.
>> IT IS 2012.
COME ON.
FEDERATION OF VOLLEYBALL RULES
SAY IF THEY WEAR SHORTS THEY
CAN HAVE A MAXIMUM OF THREE
CENTIMETERS SSMENTS THEY
CLEARLY KNOW -- THEY CLEARLY
KNOW WHAT THEY ARE SELLING.
>> I DON'T THINK THERE ARE
PIECES OF CLOTH THAT SMALL.
>> THAT BARELY COVERS THE FAN
KNEE.
>> WHERE IS GLOBAL WARMING IN
ALL OF THIS?
THE ONE TIME YOU WANT GLOBAL
WARMING AND IT IS NOT THERE.
THAT'S HORRIBLE, ABSOLUTELY
HORRIBLE.
>> AND A CHEAP SHOT AT BRITISH
TEETH, MAN.
>> I AM NOT SHARING MINE.
>> I BELIEVE WE HAVE A
PICTURE.
>> WHAT IS YOUR TEETH DOING IN
THAT THONG?
>> GREEK TRIPLE JUMPER KICKED
OFF THE TEAM FOR THE TWEET.
I DON'T THINK SHE REALIZED
WHAT SHE WAS SAYING.
>> MAYBE ARE YOU ABOUT TO DO
SOMETHING PRETTY MAJOR.
TAKE A MINUTE AND THINK ABOUT
WHAT YOU ARE WRITING.
>> I COMPLETELY AGREE.
>> YOU BOTH THINK THE TWEET
WASN'T RACIST.
I AGREE ON THE FACE IT COULD
NOT BE RACIST, BUT TAKEN IN
CONTEXT WITH THE FACT THAT SHE
HAS ALSO TWEETED VIDEOS FROM
THE GOLDEN DAWN PARTY --
>> COME ON, THAT'S UNFAIR.
>> SHE IS PRETTY MUCH -- SHE
SEEMS TO BE A SUPPORTER --
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
SEEMS TO BE.
>> I AM NOT GETTING IN HER
HEAD.
I AM RESPONDING TO WHAT SHE
HAS TWEETED AND RETWEETED.
GOLDEN DAWN IS A FASHIST
PARTY.
IN 2012 THEY CAMPAIGNED ON AN
ANTI-IMMIGRANT PLATFORM.
IT WAS, QUOTE, SO WE CAN RID
THIS LAND OF FILLET.
PILTH.
BRIAN -- FILTH.
CAN WE PUT THE FLAG UP?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD A FLAG
LIKE THAT?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> V, THE MINI SERIES.
>> YOU HAVE TO GET BACK TO
GREEK IMMIGRATION ISSUES.
JUST FORGET THAT.
TREAT THE TWEET AS A TWEET.
>> I DON'T THINK IT WAS A
SIMPLE JOKE.
LET ME FINISH.
NOT NECESSARILY RACIST, BUT
ANTI-IMMIGRANT.
>> THE BLOODY ATHLETES ARE
DOING THE BLOODY GAMES.
>> THE GAMES AREN'T IN
GREECE.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW MANY
AFRICANS ARE IN -- NOT
ATHLETES.
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH
ATHLETES.
>> WAS SHE NOT TALKING ABOUT
THE AFRICAN ATHLETES ARE GOING
TO BE IN LONDON?
>> NO.
SHE SAID IN GREECE, NOT
LONDON.
>> IN YOUR DEFENSE, I HAD THE
SAME -- WHEN I FIRST READ THE
TWEET I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT
ATHLETES.
THEN I REALIZE SHE WAS TALKING
ABOUT IMMIGRANTS.
THAT'S WHEN I GO, SHE'S
PROBABLY A JERK.
>> THAT'S STILL NOT BAD.
ALL SHE SAID WAS THEY WILL BE
EATING HOME COOKING.
IF YOU SAID THERE ARE IRISH IN
BAR SAW LOAN GNAW AND THERE IS
A HUGE POTATO BEATLE BITING
PEOPLE AND THEY WON'T SAY THEY
ARE EATING HOME COOKING.
YOU WOULDN'T SAY, TAKE IT
EASY.
>> I THINK IF YOU SUPPORT A
PARTY THAT CALLS IMMIGRANTS
FILLET, AND THEN YOU TWEET
SOMETHING LYINGS THAT --
>> YOU DON'T KNOW THE
IMMIGRATION RULES.
THAT IS A WHOLE OTHER BALL OF
WAX.
>> GREECE IS A MESS BECAUSE OF
THE GREEKS.
I DO THINK GIVEN THAT GREECE
IS THE BIRTHPLACE OF THE
OLYMPICS IT IS FITTING THE
FIRST PERSON TO GET KICKED OFF
FOR TWEETING IS GREEK.
>> GOOD POINT MY FRIEND.
>> WHY ARE YOU NOT MAD ABOUT
THIS?
YOU SHOULD BE FURIOUS, BY THE
WAY.
>> AND YET I AM NOT.
>> IT IS AN ABSOLUTE TRAVIS
STEY.
>> I AM A LIBERTARIAN AND I
DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO REFER TO
IMMIGRANTS AS FILTH.
>> IT IS HIPOCRITICAL SAYING
NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM
TWITTER PLUS JOCKS.
WE ALL REMEMBER WHEN THE
OLYMPIC SWIMMER TWEETED,
QUOTE, HAVE TO SHAVE FOR
TOMORROW, BUT CAN'T SHAVE MY
BACK.
LOL.
YOU WERE ON THE FIRST PLANE TO
THE TRIAL.
>> YOU KNOW THAT'S TRUE.
>> DON'T SAY NOTHING GOOD
COMES FROM THIS.
>> APPARENTLY THEY WERE AFRAID
IT WOULD CONFLICT WITH THE
SPONSORS.
>> ROMNEY OBAMA ADS.
THE BELIEVE ONLY THING I HAVE
ABOUT THIS -- THE ONLY THING
HAVE I IS THEY DID A STUDY
ASKING PEOPLE TO WHAT EXTENT
THEY THINK THEIR CANDIDATES --
IT IS OKAY TO BE DISHONEST IF
IT PROMOTES THE POLITICAL
AGENDA.
PEOPLE WERE OKAY FROM THEIR
OWN PARTY BEING DISHONEST TO
HELP THEM FROM GETTING
ELECTED.
JAY THAT'S SAD.
>> HE DID -- THIS IS A
SLIGHTLY MORE ENDORSED
POSITION.
IT IS A SLIGHTLY MORE ENDORSED
POSITION FOR DEMOCRATS AND
REPUBLICANS.
THE DEMOCRATS ARE MORE WILLING
FOR THEIR POLITICIANS TO LIE
THAN THE REPUBLICANS.
>> THEY LOVE THE ENDS
JUSTIFYING THE MEANS.
>> SEE THIS IS THE THING WITH
THE LEFT.
THEY GET A THING OF CARDS AND
THEY GO, I WANT THIS TO BE A
ROYAL FLUSH.
>> THEY SAY, OH THAT IS AN
ORDINARY FLUSH.
>> A ROYAL FLUSH, HERE WE GO.
>> I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE A
SHOUT OUT FOR THE PERSON WHO
HAS TO DO THE CLOSED
CAPTIONING FOR THIS PROGRAM.
>> THAT IS GOING TO BE
AWESOME.
>> IT IS A BLOOD ERASIST.
>> MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE
WITH YOU SIR AND/OR MA'AM.
>> THE SCARY THING IS I AM
BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND
EVERYTHING HE SAYS.
>> IT IS LIKE SHAKESPEAR.
YOU GET INTO THE --
[INAUDIBLE].
>> AS LONG AS YOU WATCHED "SO
I MARRIED AN AX MURDERER"
THERE IS NO PROBLEM.
>> THANK YOU, ANDY.
COMING UP, WHAT DO KITTENS
DREAM ABOUT?
>> IT IS NOT A STORY.
IT IS JUST SOMETHING SHEP
TEXTED ME TODAY.
>> WHAT IS THE LATEST IN
POTATO SHIP PACKAGING?
THE STORY PRESIDENT OBAMA
DOESN'T WANT YOU TO HEAR.
>>> DOES A QUESTION TO AN
ADVICE COLUMN COUNT AS NEWS?
ON ON "RED EYE" YOU ARE DAMN
STRAIGHT.
THEY WROTE A COLUMN ABOUT
AWKWARD SOCIAL SITUATIONS WITH
THIS PRESSING MATTER.
SHE WRITES, EVERY SUMMER OUR
CHAIRMAN GIVES A POOL PARTY
WITH RELAY RACES AND OTHER
WATER CONTESTS.
BUT I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE
GETTING INTO A BATHING SUIT IN
FRONT OF CO, WOULDERS.
WILL MY -- OF CO-WORKERS.
WILL MY ABSENCE BE MISS CON
VIEWED?
I BELIEVE SPECIAL REPORT LEAD
WITH THIS TO.
>>>.
LEAD WITH THIS TONIGHT.
LET'S DISCUSS THIS IN THE --
>> LIGHTNING ROOOOUUUNNNDD.
LIGHTNING ROUND.
>> THIS IS UNIVERSAL, BOSSES
THROWING POOL PARTIES JUST TO
SEE THEIR EMPLOYEES HALF
NAKED?
>> THAT'S BLOODY RID --
RIDICULOUS.
IT IS A TRAVIS STEY.
IT IS A CRIME.
I WAS AT A BLOODY WATER PARK.
>> ROLLER PARK?
>> WATER PARK.
I WAS INDOORS.
YOU DON'T GET SUN MUCH, AND
THESE GUYS HAVE WATER SHORTS
ON BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT YOU
TO SEE THEIR ***.
IT IS IN AN AGE OF VANITY.
ALL I DID WAS MAKE THREE HUMAN
BEINGS OUT OF MY *** AND I
DON'T HAVE A SIX PACK.
HOW DID WE GET HERE?
WHO CARES, BY THE WAY?
I AM COMPLETELY NUDE AT ALL
TIMES.
I DON'T CARE.
>> JEDEDIAH, WHAT ADVICE WOULD
YOU GIVE IN THIS SITUATION?
SHOULD FEMALE SPORT BIKINIS AT
WORK POOL PARTIES ?
>> I AM ALWAYS PRO BIKINI NO
MATTER THE JOB OR THE PLACE.
I WOULD BE WEARING ONE RIGHT
NOW IF YOU DIDN'T TELL ME NO.
>> HAVE I NOTHING TO SAY.
I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.
DO BOSSES CARE IF YOUNGER
EMPLOYEES DON'T SHOW UP?
>> I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AN OLD
EMPLOYEE.
I SWAYS BORN 50.
WE ARE BACK TO CONTOURED BODY
SUITS.
IT IS THE ANSWER TO
EVERYTHING.
>> THAT IS TRUE OF THE.
>> IT IS NOT LIKE YOU SEE
SOMEBODY FAT AND YOU SAY, THEY
MIGHT BE SLIM.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE HUGE.
>> YOU ARE NOT HIDING MUCH.
BILL, AS YOUR BOSS I REQUESTED
NUMEROUS TIMES TO SEE YOU IN A
BIKINI.
WHAT GIVES?
>> YOU NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO
THE MAN ON THE STREETS.
I WHACK FOR YOU.
>> I'LL STOP THE WORLD AND WAX
FOR YOU.
JAY OH, THE B SIDE.
THIS GIRL DOES NOT WORK IN THE
MEDIA.
IF SHE WORKED IN MEDIA SHE
WOULD KNOW THERE COULD BE A
PARTY AT THE WALDORF AND
SOMEBODY IN MEDIA WILL BE
WEARING A BIKINI.
SO THIS IS CLEARLY A WALL
STREET-TYPE GIG.
>> I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYBODY
I KNOW IN THE SWIM WEAR.
>> BUT IT IS A POOL PARTY.
>> I WANT TO SEE YOU IN THE.
>> I AM INTERESTED.
>> DO IT AS A PAL.
>> NEXT STORY, A TEAM OF
DESIGNERS, ARE THERE ANY OTHER
KIND, SOLVING THE PROBLEM OF
EATING PRINGLES POTATO CHIPS.
IT IS ONE OF THE GREATEST
PROBLEMS FACING OUR PUBLIC
TODAY.
THE CONCEPT TRANSFORMS THE CAN
INTO A SNACK BOWL ONCE THE
PAPER SLEEVE IS REMOVED.
IT IS LIKE THE POLIO VACCINE,
BUT WAY MORE HELPFUL.
DOES THIS MAKE YOUR DAY?
>> THIS IS BRILLIANT.
THEY JUST NEED A LITTLE
MECHANICAL HAND TO REACH IN
AND PUT THE CHIP IN MY MOUTH,
AND WE WILL BE GOOD TO GO.
>> JUST HIRE A KID.
>> I HIRE CHILDREN BECAUSE
USING THE CYLINDER, I HAVE A
KID'S HAND GO IN THERE AND GET
IT.
>> THEN YOU HAVE THE GERMS.
>> JONATHON, OBAMA WON A NOBEL
PEACE PRIZE WITHOUT DOING
ANYTHING.
>> AND BY THE WAY, THEY ARE
THE INVENTORS PROVING
PRESIDENT OBAMA'S POINT, THEY
DID NOT BUILD IT THEMSELVES.
>> JIMMY, WHY DID IT TAKE SO
LONG TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING
THIS BRILLIANT?
>> A -- B, THEY ARE ALL UPPER
CLASS.
THEY DON'T WANT EASY ACCESS.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT EASY ACCESS
WHEN YOU HAVE HUGE BAGS?
THIS IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF
PEOPLE -- THE ELITE NOT
KNOWING WHAT THE WORKING MAN
IS DOING.
WORKING MAN DIGS IN AND CHOPS
A POTATO, BY THE WAY.
>> YOU EAT THE CHIPS, DON'T
YOU?
YOU THROW THEM IN THERE.
>> WE NEED STARCH.
WE ARE DRINKING!
>> IT EXPLAINS THE SKIN TONE.
>> I USE EMPTY PRINGLES CANS
OUT BY THE HIGHWAY WHEN YOU
CAN'T FIND A BATHROOM.
>> I USE THEM AS PLATFORM
SHOES AFTERWARDS.
TWO THINGS, FIRST OF ALL I WAS
WONDERING WHO WOULD BE THE
FIRST ONE TO USE THIS STORY TO
BASH OBAMA'S NOBEL PEACE
PRIZE.
IT IS A GIMME.
>> IT WASN'T ME.
>> MY MONEY WAS ON JED.
SECONDLY, WHO USES BOWLS?
I DON'T KNOW ONE PERSON EVEN
IF THEY HAVE A ROOMMATE THAT
DOES PRESIDENT REACH INTO THE
BAG AND GET IT ALL OVER THEIR
RESPECTIVE SCOTT PUNISH
BEARDS.
AND THEN YOU CAN EAT IT ONCE
AGAIN.
>> WHY IS YOUR WALLET ON THE
TABLE?
ARE YOU TRYING TO TEMPT ME?
>> WHAT IS GOING ON?
>> FEED ME.
I ONLY HAVE $1.
>> HERE IS THE PROBLEM WITH
THIS WHOLE STORY.
WHEN YOU OPEN THIS CAN, YOU
CAN'T CLOSE IT.
YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO
RESTACK THE CHIPS.
IT IS A PANDORA'S BOX OF
PRINGLES.
>> THAT'S WHY YOU ARE FAT.
>> YOU ARE A DEEP THINKER.
>> HAVE I TO SAY I DIDN'T COME
UP WITH THAT ON MY OWN.
>> DID YOU CALL POTATO CHIP
CORPORATE?
>> THEY SENT YOU TALKING
POINTS.
>> AND I DID IT WITHOUT AN
ACCENT.
I FELT GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
>>
>> HE IS GETTING SURLEY.
>> I'M SURLEY.
>> WHO GOT THE WHISKY?
>> I HAD TO WRITE THAT ONE
DOWN.
WHEN WE RETURN, ANOTHER
HELPING OF MAIL TIME.
>>> IT IS MAIL TIME.
THE ADDRESS IS RED EYE AT FOX
NEWS.COM.
SEND ME SOMETHING TO READ AND
I WILL READ IT.
HERE WE GO, MAGGIE LEADS
THINGS OFF.
YOU MAY REMEMBER SHE WROTE
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED SOON.
SHE WRITES, REGARDING THE
PRIMANOCTUS THING -- PRIMA.
>> DOES THAT APPLY TO ME OR MY
FIANCEE?
JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, THE
PRIMI DOESN'T FIT EITHER OF
US.
SO YOU ARE SAYING THE THING I
REQUESTED DOESN'T APPLY TO YOU
OR YOUR HUSBAND?
DO YOU MEAN PRIMI FOR
EVERYTHING?
JOE FROM SAN FRANCISCO SAYS
YOU ARE WONDERFUL.
I HUMBLE -- I LOVE HOW YOU
HUMBLE YOURSELF BY STANDING
WHILE EVERYBODY ELSE SITS.
JM A 40 -- I AM A
FORD-YEAR-OLD SAW MILL WORKER
AND NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD AT
THE TV.
WELL, NEXT TIME TURN IT ON.
STEVEN SAYS, I GUESS THE ONLY
PEOPLE WHO E-MAIL YOU KNOW
THAT YOU ONLY DO THIS ONE ONCE
EVERY SIX MONTHS.
WE DO IT EVERY NIGHT.
BUT WE EDIT A VERSION OF IT
EVERY NIGHT TO YOU AND YOU
ALONE.
ALL OF THE GOOD JOKES.
WE REPLACE IT WITH CAT VIDEOS
AND BILL.
WELCOME.
>> FROM SOMEWHERE OUT THERE A
FRIEND ASKED IF I WOULD LIKE
TO PARTAKE IN A GREEN
SUBSTANCE THAT WON SMOKES.
IT WAS AS DELICIOUS AS YOUR
SHOW.
>> HERE IS HOPING YOU ARE NOT
MISS PIGGY.
>> FINALLY, A DISTURBING,
CONFUSING LETTER FROM JAMES.
I HAVE BEEN WATCHING "RED EYE"
FROM THE START.
BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO.
BOUGH -- BRAVO, BRAVO.
THAT CAN ONLY MEAN IT IS TIME
FOR ME TO MARRY THE LEAD
SINGER OF MATCH BOX 20, ROB
THOMAS.
WHEN I AGREED TO DO THIS SHOW
THEY TOLD ME THIS LETTER WOULD
COME, BUT THEY NEVER SAID
WHEN.
>> GREG.
GREG, COME BACK.
>>> I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW
FOR "THE FIVE."
WE WILL HAVE I'M MA -- IMOGEN
LLOYD WEBBER.
BACK TO TV'S ANDY LEVY WITH
THE POST GAME WRAP UP.
>> IT IS PRIMAE.
>> IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY.
WHAT CAN WE GET ?U.
>> I WILL BE 30 AND I WOULD
LIKE NOTHING MORE THAN FOR
GREG TO HOST WEARING A
MANKINI.
>> I WILL DO THAT FOR YOU.
>> ARE YOU REALLY 30?
>> OKAY, 32.
YOU GOT ME.
>> ARE YOU SERIOUSLY 32?
WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?
>> THERE IS A LIST.
>> I WAS RHETORICAL.
>> HAVE YOU GOT AN HOUR?
>> JEDEDIAH, YOU HAVE A NEW
COLUMN COMING OUT?
>> YES AT BRIGHT BART.COM.
I PROMISE I MAKE IT
INTERESTING.
CHECK IT OUT.
>> GAVIN AND/OR JIMMY, I DON'T
KNOW WHO THIS QUESTION IS
FOR.
DO YOU HAVE A BONE TO PICK
WITH THE STATE OF IOWA?
>> IT IS OTTAWA.
>> THEY ARE MAKING ME MAINTAIN
A PIECE OF PROPERTY IN FRONT
OF A HOUSE THAT IS NOT EVEN
MINE.
THE CITY INSISTS I WILL CHOP
IT DOWN.
IF I DON'T, I WILL GET A
FINE.
IS THAT BLOODY INSANE?
>> WHAT IS A HOUSE?
>> A HOUSE, SORRY.
>> YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER
OFF IN IOWA.
>> BACK TO YOU, GREG.
>> THANK YOU, ANTE.
JEDEDIAH, ALWAYS A PLEASURE.
JIMMY, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
ALWAYS A PLEASURE.
THAT DOES IT FOR ME.