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So how can you do it ? What are the activities that you could do that would
help you to feel good about yourself? I've got a friend here today that's
going to help us figure that out.
I love that you're watching Live On Purpose TV
because that's one of the best ways to feel good about yourself. At least I hope
you're getting to feel good from all of this. I've invited my friend, Brett
Williams. This is Brett to join us here today. Brett is a merchant family
therapist, he's been practicing therapy, counseling, helping people to have a more
excellent life now for 25 years or so? So you've got some experience doing this
and as I was thinking about what are some of the activities that we can do to
help us feel good about ourselves on a more consistent basis and you came to
mind. So can you address that here? - Yeah. - I thought you could.
Awesome. What comes to your mind first? What activities will help you to
feel better about yourself? - One of the favorite things people do is
affirmations. People love affirmations because they're super easy, you could be
in your car, you could be at home, you could be anywhere and practice an
affirmation. The only trouble with an affirmation, you know what trouble is?
- I can probably guess.- They don't work. - Right. Not in the way most people practice it.
- Yeah. - because traditionally, it's like well, I'm awesome. You know, you say these
affirmations. My life is amazing, my life rocks and it feels like and as soon as
you do that you've got a fight on your hands, inside of your own mind.
- Because you're arguing with yourself, you're trying to convince yourself. Now
if you already believe it a little bit, it's easy but then you don't
need the affirmation, it's the people that don't believe my life is amazing or
things are great that need the affirmation. So what we're going to do
today is kind of like an affirmation, we call it a consideration.
Now consideration takes the best of affirmation and the best
of a meditation and creates a kind of this powerful exercise. - It's like a
possibility, we're creating a new possibility. - Right. - So your mind is more
open to it? - Absolutely. The way things work in your brain is that neurons that
fire together wire together, neurons that are together wire together so what we want to do is
get an idea in your head that you can play with and the longer you know can
play with this idea, the stronger the idea grows, it gets a momentum to it.
If I have an idea and then I'm fighting with it, it's not going to grow
so consideration allows us to play with an idea for a long time and by playing
with the idea for a long time, it helps that idea grow. it's like planting a
seed, we want it to grow. - And you're creating. I've done another video or a
couple of videos where I reference neural pathways and this is the way
your mind, your brain really, this is a physiological thing that happens.
When you say they're all set fire together, wire together, your brain
will create shortcuts, cruise control, autopilot for anything that is repeated
and meaningful so as you create this new consideration, what would it sound
like? - So listen, let's start with an affirmation. A basic affirmation would be
I am enough right. That would be kind of a basic affirmation. - Right, that's kind of
old school. - I am enough. I am enough and we just kind of chant that.
- Say it mirror. - Write it, you know, put it on the sticky note. What
would happen if we change that affirmation to a consideration of what
if, what if I was enough? What if I was? Now that saying I am because I don't
want to get in a fight with myself, I don't want to harm myself.
- That was my observation, I'm not fighting with that. As I'm sitting I'm
just considering this idea. So the first day what I'll typically do is I'll
just think of the words and that helps the idea go to my left neocortex. What if
I was good enough? Second day, what I want to do is I want a picture. What would
that look like if I was good enough? What would my day look? - Okay so you're
bringing some imagery into this. - Exactly. I want to create some pictures
- Picturing what it's going to be. - To have a good day or have a good enough day.
Third day, what I do is I ask myself what would it feel like if I was good enough?
There, I want to bring in my Olympics system.
I want to stimulate my emotional mind and just feel the energy around that.
What would it feel like to be good enough? The last, we're not even last day but the next day.
- This is powerful. Can I just acknowledge this? Because there's more.
There's more. What Brett is laying out for
you here is completely consistent with everything that we've learned about
psychology right and how our mind creates. Do you remember one of the first
videos that I put out when we launched this daily content? Was how to be
positive no matter what. You can link to it right up there in that corner of the
box. In that video, we talked about two processes, evaluation and creation. - Good.
Okay and you know about this because I've shared it with you, Brett. Evaluation
of what it is and then creation of what is to be. What Brett's been sharing with
you here today is so consistent with the way our mind allows us to create
something that didn't even exist before and it's natural for us to feel a little
bit of resistance to kind of argue with ourselves sometimes about well, I don't
know if that's possible. The way you're setting it up is actually putting our
mind in a position to be open and receive that as a possibility
which we can then move forward and create. - We've changed the question
in your head from, is that true, that's analysis and analysis always
creates paralysis so you ain't going anywhere on that one. We're changing it
- It's easy to argue this ain't true. - Yea,h is this true? We're changing the question to
what if this was true? - What if it was? - What if it was? Now the next day is so
important because the next day what I want to do is get that thought out of my
head and into my body, into my urology. So the next day I
ask myself, well what if I was good enough? What would that what would that
be like? How would I act? What would my body language be? What
would my shoulders do? How would I breathe? How would I talk to people?
- How I handle that phone call. - If I felt good enough, what would
I do? What would that what the actions the behaviors behind that be? And as I
start to act as if I'm good enough, that again reinforces the neural pathways.
- And that word act can sometimes trip people up. You've heard of the fake it till you
make it kind of thing? I'm not a huge fan of that because I don't think it's that
kind of acting. - But I'm putting it in that whole context of the brain.
- Right and putting it into a physical manifestation of an idea and this is
when thoughts become things, this is where it actually starts to show up
in our life. I love that. So let me see if I've got the days straight so
on day one, I want to consider what if this were true? On day two, we're going to go
to some imagery. What would it look like if it were true? Inviting yourself to
actually start imagining that. Day three, what would it feel like if and
you know what, on this one, just pretend for a minute that you actually believe
it and then see what that might feel like and you're like, well I don't believe it. Yeah, right.
What if you did? How would it feel if you really believed it? If you knew that it
was a possibility. So we're going to get into the feeling and then I love
this because it can be in your heart and in your head all day long but until it
gets in your shoes and starts walking around in your life, it doesn't really
change anything so that fourth step is, how would I show up? What would act
I like? What would I do differently? How would I handle that specific situation
if this were true if I really weren't good enough? - I know what my body
language looks like, when I'm in a bad day. What would my body language be if
I was in a good day? Hmm.. - If you really owned it. - Yeah, what would that feel like?
You just feel yourself starting to take that on. - Yeah, exactly.
- Wow. Alright so, you got it from the master himself, Brett Williams here today,
author, powerful therapist, he's your family shrink and and this might have
surprised you but we're telling you today, two shrinks in front of the camera,
forget about affirmations. - That's right. - They don't work. - Use a consideration.
- That's going to change the game. Thanks, Brett.
- Thank you. - It was awesome.
Wow. Thanks, Brett. That changes the game, not
affirmations, considerations. Share that with someone today.