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That was very nice singing, Amy. Very nice.
It's your turn, Alexander.
( indistinct laughter )
( clears throat )
♪ Roll, roll, roll your boat, gently down the stream ♪
♪ Mary Lee, Mary Lee, Mary Lee, Mary Lee ♪
♪ Life is but a dream ♪♪
Yes. Well...
I'd like to make a few suggestions, Alexander.
- Okay. - Okay.
So... first of all, it isn't roll. It's row your boat, Alexander.
♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪
Right. And second of all, it isn't Mary Lee. It's merrily, Alexander.
♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily merrily ♪
Right.
And third of all, third of all...
Third of all what?
- And third of all, - ( excited laughter )
maybe when the whole class sings this together, you should sing softer, Alexander.
Much, much, much, much softer.
( children laughing )
What's yellow, has four legs, and weighs a thousand pounds?
Simple, two 500 pound canaries.
That's dumb!
Lemon icing. I love cupcakes with lemon icing!
How about trading one cupcake for half my chocolate bar?
It's a really good chocolate bar. It's got almonds and everything.
- Maybe. - What did your mother give you for dessert?
She gave me a piece of jelly roll with little coconut sprinkles on top.
What's your dessert, Alexander?
I've got a riddle for you. Guess whose mother forgot to put in dessert?
I'm having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
- Twenty-four. - Twenty... three?
- Twenty... two. - Twenty-one?
Hmm... twenty.
Come on, faster! You can do it.
- Nineteen. - Eighteen.
- Seventeen. - Fifteen. - Fourteen...
MRS. DICKENS: No, wait, Alexander. You left out sixteen.
- Who needs sixteen? - ( laughter )
Hey, anyone seen my yo-yo, the purple one that glows in the dark?
- Are we playing ball down at the park? - Yeah, we are.
- You wanna play, Alexander? - I gotta go to the dentist.
( all moaning and groaning )
( nervous chuckle )
I'm having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
( drilling )
Open a little wider.
And, Alexander, don't do that.
A little wider.
Alexander. Alexander, don't touch that, please.
( buzzing noise )
Alexander! Alexander, please sit still!
( noise stops )
Wider, please, Alexander.
Alexander, can you possibly sit still for thirty seconds?
There you go.
( mumbling )
I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. What were you saying?
I'm saying, how come you have all that hair growing out of your nose?
Ha, well, I've got to grow it somewhere, I guess.
Now how about opening your mouth super wide.
Well, Anthony and Nick look fine.
But I'm afraid Alexander has a cavity there on the upper left side.
Look, it's no big deal. I promise we'll get you all fixed up...
...when you come back next Thursday.
See you next week, Alexander.
Next week I'm going to Australia!
I'll pick you up in a few minutes.
On the way downstairs the elevator door closed on my foot.
And while we were waiting for Mom to go get the car,
Anthony made me fall where it was muddy.
And when I started crying because of the mud,
- Nick said I was a... - Crybaby!
And while I was punching Nick for saying crybaby,
my mom came back from the car and scolded me for being muddy and fighting.
♪ They say I'd be lonely if I were an only child ♪
♪ I doubt it ♪
♪ They say I'd be begging my mom and my dad to do something ♪
♪ About it ♪
♪ But I think I'd really enjoy ♪
♪ Being their favorite boy ♪
♪ Without any others, especially brothers ♪
♪ To annoy me ♪
♪ If I could be ♪
♪ The only child ♪
♪ Mom and Dad would think I was the best ♪
♪ I'd be the tallest, the neatest, the bravest, the sweetest ♪
♪ The son who got the highest marks on every test ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ No big brothers pickin' on me in the morning ♪
♪ No big brothers pickin' on me at night ♪
♪ I think it would ♪
♪ Suit me just fine ♪
♪ If all the toys and games ♪
♪ Could be just mine ♪
♪ If I could be ♪
♪ If I could be ♪
♪ The only child ♪
♪ If I could be ♪
♪ The only child ♪
♪ Mom and Dad would love me most of all ♪
♪ I'd be the brightest, most funny ♪
♪ Most careful with money ♪
♪ Supremest soccer player, watch me kick that ball ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ No big brothers always beating me to it ♪
♪ No kid brothers always acting so spoiled ♪
♪ I think it would ♪
♪ Suit me just fine ♪
♪ If from now on the TV set could be just mine ♪
♪ If I could be ♪
♪ If I could be ♪
♪ The only child ♪
♪ If I could be ♪
♪ The only child ♪
♪ Mom and Dad would treat me like a king ♪
♪ I'd make them happiest and proudest ♪
♪ They'd brag on me loudest ♪
♪ And everything I did would be the greatest thing ♪
♪ No kid brothers always messing with my tape deck ♪
♪ No kid brothers always getting in my face ♪
♪ I think it would ♪
♪ Suit me just fine ♪
♪ If from now on my socks and shirts could be just mine ♪
♪ If I could be ♪
♪ If I could be ♪
♪ The only child ♪
( together ) ♪ Wouldn't have to share the last scoop of the ice-cream ♪
♪ Wouldn't have to share the last piece of the pie ♪
♪ I think it would ♪
♪ Suit me just fine ♪
♪ If from now on my mom and dad could be just mine ♪
- ♪ If I could be ♪ - ♪ If I could be ♪
♪ The only child ♪
Except who would I have to play monopoly with?
And who would help me feed Tim all those meals?
And who would teach me to stand on my head and hold a basketball right...
...and ride a bike with no hands and two wheels?
- ALEXANDER: Brothers. - ANTHONY: Brothers. - NICK: Brothers.
( together ) Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em!
♪ If I could be ♪
♪ Could sometimes be ♪
♪ The only child ♪♪
( laughing )