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I have been always unique.
Uniquely lazy, uniquely dozy, uniquely...
Hey! Joey! Wake up!
That's not a lullaby, that's kickass story about me and my wonderful day!
So pay attention, past version of myself, you might be useful.
Where was I...
well, better start from the beginning.
I was just staring at an opposite wall,
thinking about chocolate.
And then I said: "I'm bored."
C'mon, Joey, cooperate!
And then I said: "I'm bored."
Wait, that doesn't make any sense,
why would I talk to myself?
Ha-ha-ha... silly me...
I was in front of a mirror!
Go, go!
And I said to my reflection: "I'm bored."
Yeah, that sounds cool, let's say it again.
"I'm bored."
Ha... are we sure I didn't say it with a Russian accent? No, no, okay...
So I was bored and didn't know what to do.
But then I realized... I could do anything!
I could chase a dragon!
I could climb a tree!
Or fall from it and promise to myself to never do that again...
I could prepare a ritual meditation for communication with the tree!
After a few minutes of awkward silence
I could stand up and go to do something more rational...
like slaying a dragon!
Or... you know...
at least some ugly bug...
don't judge me... all heroes started somewhere...
*song*
But still, to make a day amazing, we miss something.
Of course! We miss some lovely miss!
But how to catch one?
Obviously, on the rod! But what would I use as bait?
Hmmm... I think the best would be some pretty shining dress.
Luckily, we are under the nut-tree! I hope that there is something left after Cinderella...
Ah! I've found something!
Wait... that's... not a nut...
Ou... ou god! What is it even doing here!
Joey: What have you done? Tree: Actually, I'm an apple tree...
Joey: Oh... that's embarrassing... guess I should think of another way...
*heavenly choir*
T: Hey, Joey... J: Hey, Tree, I'm glad to hear you again!
T: What are you doing out there?
J: Catching a girl, why? T: With a nut?
J: Yeah. Well, you from all the beings should know best, that it's the one from which you can pull of the wedding dress.
T: Well... I don't want to interrupt, but... I think it was the fairy godmother who helped her.
J: No, that's just the feministic version... they wanted more female characters in it when father is not dead...
T: I know another version when dove was actually...
J: Shut up, hazelnut version would work anyway!
T: But that's not a hazelnut, you know...
J: Oh... oh, crap... and how am I supposed to catch a girl now?
T: And why do you need a girl in the first place?
J: I'll use her as bait for dragon of course.
T: Ah... well... and do you really believe they will appear? J: Dragons?
T: Girls. J: Ah, yes...
T: How it's going with a dragon hunt? J: Ah, good, it's only a matter of time.
T: Ermmm... and what about that sleeping bag on your rod?
J: Yeah, well... despite positive presumptions, girls doesn't want wedding dress anymore!
T: And you think this would lure them out?
J: Nah... I think that when dragon flies really high, he can't possibly recognize girl from a sleeping bag, hah.
J: Was that a dragon?
*scream*