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"Are you the runt of the litter?"
"Wasting away doing nothing with your poor, pathetic, weak life?"
"How'd you know?"
"Well, you are sitting alone, "
"...in a field, "
"...in the winter, "
"....alone..."
"...by yourself..."
"Okay, uh, anyways...
"You need the all new gum that's sweeping the nation! POWERRR UPP!!!!!"
"Wow. What does it do?"
"A better question is, What doesn't it do?!"
"Using patented technology, Power Up gives you super powers,"
"Beyond your WILDEST DREAMS!"
"There's a super power for all of your little boy needs!"
"Having trouble with your math homework?"
"Boy howdie mister!"
"Well, Brainiac Blue has got your back!
"Eating Brainiac Blue, will triple your IQ!"
"Making all of your homework problems a snap!"
"Wow!"
"Oh! Wow! I see now..."
"Constantly being beat up by the local bully?"
"NOOO!!!!"
"Yeah......"
"How about trying Gigantic Green?!!!"
"It'll give you the strength you need to take out any bully!"
"Lunch money. NOW!"
"I hope $300.00 is enough..."
"Wait, you know what?"
"I want that back!"
"Gimme that money...."
"Need to get out of a sketchy situation?"
"Kind of, not really... I mean"
"I guess, but they would just find me,"
"and run, and gun me down anyways, so..."
"Then you need Be Gone Black! As the name may suggest, "
"Be Gone Black makes you teleport, useful for nearly any situation!"
"I got the stuff. You got the money?" "Yeah, here you go."
"Oh wait, I need-
"Woah, WHERE'D YOU GO??!"
"I don't know where he went!"
"This next flavor is pretty nifty."
"Where Are You White gives you the ablility to disappear!"
"You can turn invisable, useful for nearly anything!"
"Also, the gum itself invisable! (Don't throw it out)
"Ohhh..."
"Yep. I'm still here!"
"Owwww!"
"Ever wanted to turn into an armadillo?
"No.." "Me neither!"
"Ever wanted to turn into a dog?"
"YEAH!"
"Well now you can with the power of Octagon Orange!"
"You can shape shift into anything you want!"
"I AM DOG"
"Ever wanted to incinerate something or someone?"
"YES!"
"Well now you can! With Laser Lemon,"
"You can melt things, just by looking at them!"
"Have you ever dreamt of being lightning fast?!
"Yes!"
"Well now you can do just that with the new Rocket Red!"
"It'll give you the speed of a thousand bajillion fast people!"
"Oh my gosh! I'm going to run up three flights of stairs, outside, run around the watertower, and come back!"
"That. Was. Awesome!!!!!!!!!"
"Sponsered by Thor. "
"Brother of Loki, Mightiest Avenger,"
"..and... teenage heartthrob!"
"LIGHTNING!!!!!"
Special Thanks To:
Robbie McManus
Jeff Deisting
Molly Rausch
Jenny Keller
Thor
and Rudy