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C: I got Parasite. I found it in soft cover. It’s gonna be awe-some! Life is soo good!
A: Jesus you are excited.
C: It’s Mira Grant. The cover is so pretty. Look at the cover, look at the cover. It’s
got parasites instead of zombies. Nothing can go wro-ong!
C: Something went wrong.
A: Something went wrong.
C: I’m not sure what I expected, but I can tell you that I didn’t get it. Feed was
so fast paced, the characters were like your best friends, and the detail that was put
into the media and society was incredible. Instead…
A: You got more zombie.
C: The title said Parasites.
A: But it’s more zombies.
C: We are introduced to Sal (God I hate that name), who is still recovering from a major
car crash she was in. She woke up in the hospital after the crash, with no memory, no motor
skills, and zero knowledge of the english language.
A: Her family is shocked that she recovered, but everyone credits her amazing recovery
to the Symbogen parasite implant, called the Intestinal Bodyguard.
C: Sal spends years being rehabilitated, but by the time we meet her she is ready for her
own independence, which her parents refuse to give her..
A: But her life is good. She has her handsome doctor boyfriend Nathan, her job at the animal
shelter, and regular checkups at Symbogen where she is personally checked on by the
CEO and creator of the Intestinal Bodyguard, Steven Banks.
C: Her life is pretty normal, until the world goes nuts. People start changing…
[music]
C: Right before her eyes people start going crazy. They stop responding to their environment,
animals hate them, they shamble along, and then they get violent. No one knows why. It
could be some sort of terrorist attack or it could be something else.
A: Obviously, it’s something else. And Sal and her boyfriend Nathan are determined to
find out. Their search leads them to Dr. Shanti, a crazy mad scientist who has relocated her
lab to a rundown bowling alley and provides Sal with some of the answers she has been
looking for.
[music]
A: Before we get this review started I just want to get this out of the way.
C: What?
A: Everytime I heard Symbogen all I heard was Timosil.
C: What?
A: Teamosil
C: Nope.
A: Teamosil:
[music]
A: Was that just me?
C: Yup.
A: Huh…I don’t know where that came from.
C: I want to go into this book without comparing it to Feed, but it’s impossible, because
now I know what this writer is capable of. And instead of unique and fascinating characters
I got Sal.
A: Sal isn’t Shaun and definitely isn’t George. Waking up with no memories has made
her hesitant and she is terrified of being in another car crash. She takes care of carnivorous
plants, and doesn’t have any friends besides her boyfriend. She’s like some warped crazy
cat lady.
[music]
C: Sal isn’t particularly whiney, but she’s not particular anything else either. After
Shaun and George her perspective was kind of like taking a sip of your drink, expecting
Coke and getting diet instead.
A: Her boyfriend Nathan is the exact same kind of bland. Mostly he is just steadfast
and responsible and… steadfast and responsible. He has a “tragic” past, but we don’t
find out about it until it hits us in the face.
C: His big secret is that Dr. Shanti, the woman who helped Steven Banks create the Intestinal
Bodyguard, is his mother. Wooo.
A: Snape kills Dumbledore. Sorry, I thought we were just shouting spoilers.
C: And characters that don’t come off as bland fly off the crazy scale. Characters
like Tansy, a repeat of Foxy from Blackout, and Dr. Shanti who is like another Dr. Abbey.
Grant writes her crazies well and you can tell she is a big fan of characters with multiple
screws loose but they aren’t as flushed out I would have liked.
[music]
A: Some things are done well in this novel. For one thing, instead of a faceless villain
we have someone to blame the parasite zombies on. Someone we can really hold accountable.
C: And then there is Don’t Go Out Alone, a fictional children’s book that Sal encounters
on her quest for answers. The characters use the book as a sort of code and metaphor for
what’s going on.
A: But this fictional book is more interesting than the rest of Parasite. It’s about two
children who had a monster under their bed, but their parents scared it away. Then they
receive a letter from the monster urging them to both come find him and don’t go out alone,
eventually turning into monsters themselves.
C: It feels like if it were real it would have been my favorite book as a kid. Don’t
Go Out Alone is to Parasite what Tales of Beedle the Bard is to Harry Potter.
Overlay Tales of beedle the Bard
But it’s good points don’t overshadow the flaws. It’s easily pre-
A: dictable. Within the first tw-
C: enty pages you can guess the big twist at the end.
A: And the twists that you can’t guess
C: Come out of left field. Things like Sal meeting and falling in love with Nathan by
coincidence and his mother just happens to be the exact person who can tell them what
is going on.
A: Even the premise that you can eat a parasite and have it administer you designer drugs
like it spent seven miserable years in med school is stretching it. It doesn’t strike
me as believable as the origins of the zombie plague in Feed, or at least, wasn’t explained
as well. Grant spends too much time setting up her
world not enough time actually letting her characters run around in it.
C: You need to remember this book is the first in a trilogy. We might get to the good stuff
later on.
A: But I want the good stuff noooooow
C: The fact that this is the first book in a trilogy is what saves it. The entire book
is hinging on a twist that the reader can call in the first few paragraphs. It takes
the entire book for Grant to get the exposition out of the way, so her crazy train can go
direction her heart desires. And we all know just how easily Mira Grant
can descend into crazy town.
[music]
A: You’ve already spoiled enough today.
C: Come on it’s not really a spoiler! It’s so ridiculous it’s like how in Deadline-
[music]
A: Parasite is an interesting premise with poor execution. If I hadn’t read any of
her previous books I expect that this one would have impressed me more. But that being
said it’s nice to have a book where the romantic sub plot never interferes or causes
tension. Parasite shows promise and I (looks over to Read possibly duck taped mouth closed?)
will definitely be picking up the sequel.