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??
My Name Is Bree,
And I Am An Alcoholic.
Bree Put Her Problem
Behind Her.
(Camera Shutter Clicks)
There's At Least One Employer
Who'd Love To Hire Me.
Who?
Orson Asked For A Job.
You.
Dave Lost His Temper
Damn It, Edie! I Said No!
And Aroused The Suspicion
This Guy
Is Up To Something.
Of His Neighbor.
It Was
All Karen Mccluskey's Fault.
She Kept Asking Me All This
Stuff About Your Background.
She Reminds Me Of My Grandmother
When We First Started To Notice.
The Dementia, That Is.
You Think
Karen's Going Senile?
(Mary Alice)It Could Have Been
Such A Lovely Evening.
You See, The Idea Was To Have
A Surprise Birthday Party.
People Would Bring
Food And Gifts
And Wait In The Dark
For The Guest Of Honor
To Arrive.
But It Turned Out To Be
A Night Full Of Surprises--
The Kind
Most People Don't Care For.
Damn It, Lynette.
Why Do You
Have To Be Such A Buzz Kill?
Why Can't You, Just Once,
Give Me A Little Support?
Fine.
(Scoffs)
I'll Get You A Towel.
For What?
If I Was With Another Woman,
That Wouldn't Bother You?
No, It Wouldn't.
I'm Sorry That I Lied,
And For What It's Worth,
The Guilt Has Been
Tearing Me Apart.
Get Your Hands Off Me,
You Selfish Son Of A ***!
(Thud)
Orson, Please.
You're Putting Me
In An Impossible Position.
Then Let Me
Make It Simpler For You.
I Want A Divorce.
Oh, Yes, It Could Have Been
Such A Lovely Evening,
But This Was One Party
That Was Over
Before It Even Began.
(All) Surprise!
You Think
You Can Screw With Me?
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Moments Before She Was To Leave
For The Party,
Gabrielle Solis Was
At Her Mirror,
Halfheartedly Putting
The Final Touches On Her Lips.
You See, A Problem
Had Come To Her Attention
(Whispers) Damn.
One She Couldn't Gloss Over.
Mommy, What Are You Doing?
Uh, Well, Mommy Has A Friend
Who Visits Her Every Month,
And She's Late,
And That's Bad.
Why?
Because She's
The One Who Assures Me
That You Won't Get
A Baby Bther Or Sist.
But I Want A Little Brother.
I Don't Care.
(Sighs) Oh, Sorry.
It's Just
Mommy Really Misses Her Friend,
And Mommy's
Gonna Be Really Sad
If Her Friend
Doesn't Show Up Soon.
Now Go Downstairs And Play.
Mommy Has Some Praying To Do.
Well,
I Have Your Test Results.
Congratulations.
You're Pregnant.
Mrs.
Solis.
I Don't Care.
You Told Me
This Couldn't Happen.
You Said It Was Impossible!
The Human Reproductive System
Is Complicated
And Often Unpredictable.
Sometimes Miracles Happen.
This Isn't A Miracle.
This Is A Disaster.
My Husband's Blind.
Neither One Of Us Have Jobs.
My Husband's Blind.
Trust Me.
Children Are A Blessing.
You'll See.
It'll All Work Out.
Well, I Hope To God
You're Right.
And What Does
This Number Mean Anyway?
That's Your Beta Number,
And It's High, Which Indicates
The Possibility Of Twins.
Gaby, Relax.
This Baby Is
Gonna Be The Best Thing
That Ever Happened To Us.
I Am So Sick Of Everybody
Looking At The Glass Half-Full.
The Glass Is Empty, People,
And So Is Our Bank Account.
Is That What
You're Worried About--Money?
Look, I'll Get A Job.
What Are You Gonna Do,
Take Up Piano And Get A Contract
With Motown?
Actually, I Was Thinking
About Becoming A Masseur.
You Don't Need Your Eyes For
That.
It's All About The Touch.
Well, I Guess That's Not
The Worst Idea You've Ever Had.
But It's Not Just About
The Money, Carlos.
It's (Sighs)
Oh, After My Miscarriage,
I Gave Up On This Dream.
I Just Figured God Decided
I Couldn't Possibly
Be A Good Mom,
So He Didn't Make It Happen.
Well, He Obviously
Changed His Mi.
Well, I Wish
He'd Stop Doing That.
Nobody Likes A Fickle God.
Babe, Believe Me.
You Getting Pregnant Is--Is--
Is A One-In-A-Million Shot.
It's A Miracle.
Now Let's Embrace It
And Celebrate.
Hello, Mrs.
Solis.
I Have Your Test Results.
Great.
So Do I Have Anemia?
Is That Why
I've Been So Tired?
No.
Not Exactly.
And Please Don't Slap Me.
I'm Pregnant!
Oh, My God.
It's Another Miracle.
Yeah,
We're Up To Two Miracles,
And If You Come Back
From The Dead After I Kill You,
It'll Be Three.
(Laughs)
W-Why You Mad At Me?
"Oh, Gaby, Why Do I Need
To Wear A ***?
There's No Way Lightning's
Gonna Strike Twice.
"
Well,
I Didn't Think It Would.
Put The Baby Down, Carlos.
I Don't Want To.
Do It.
I Need To Hit Something,
And It Needs To Be You.
You Are Looking At This
All Wrong.
This Is One-In-A-Million.
We Should--We Should
Celebrate And Embrace--
Oh, Cram It,
You Fertile Freak.
You're Getting A Vasectomy.
I Can't Do That.
We're Catholic.
It's Against Our Religion.
I Got News For You.
We Just Converted To Judaism.
Problem Solved.
Mazel Tov!
Gaby, It's Not Just That.
There Are Other Reasons--
I Am Done Fighting Off
Your Bionic ***.
You're Getting Snipped,
And That's Final.
You're Awfully Quiet
Tonight.
Got A Lot On My Mind.
I Think I'm Pregnant.
What?
I Know.
It's Crazy.
You Had
A Vasectomy.
It's Impossible.
Yeah.
So What Makes You Think
You're Preant?
My Period's Late,
And That Never Happens To Me.
I'm Like A Swiss Clock.
Oh, Come On.
There Could Be
A Lot Of Reasons For That.
So Let's Not Worry About It
Right Now.
We're Going To A Party.
You Gotta Lighten Up.
Okay.
But I'm Gonna Talk To Bob.
Bob? Why?
Because He And Lee Are Here.
Bob's An Attorney.
I'm Gonna Get Him
To Sue The Qck
Who Obviously Botched
Your Vasectomy.
Oh, Gaby, Let's Not Go There.
Hiring An Attorney's Expensive,
And I Don't Know
That We Can Prove Anything.
Well, I'm Gonna Find Out.
Fine.
But
Let's Not Talk To Bob.
I Don't Want Our Neighbors
Involved In Our Business.
(Rings Doorbell)
Oh, Don't Worry.
He's A Professional.
He'll Keep It Confidential.
Gaby, No.
You Can't Talk To Him.
Why The Hell Not?
I Never Got A Vasectomy.
Hi, Guys.
Welcome To The Party.
Earlier That Evening, As She Waited
For Her Guests To Arrive,
Susan Mayer Took A Moment
To Do Her Eyebrows.
Of Course,
She Had No Way Of Knowing
Just How Hh Those Eyebrows
Sorry I'm Late.
Would Soon Be Raised.
What Took You So Long? People
Are Gonna Be Here Any Minute.
I Need You To Pour
The Cheap ***
Into The Expensive Bottles.
I Couldn't Find My Pants.
I'm Here So Much That
When I Go Back To My Place,
I Can't Remember
Where Anything Is.
Well, Just Please Change
Your Shirt.
You Know, I've Been Thinking
That I Spend So Much Time
With You Now Anyway That--
Fine.
You Can Have
A Little Space In The Closet.
I Think I've Got
Some Clothes From The '80s
I'm Ready To Part With.
Actually, I'm Talking
About Moving In.
Moving In? Here?
Yeah.
That's Where We're Headed.
We Should Take The Plunge.
What Do You Think?
So Obviously,
This Is The Bedroom.
Right.
So Do You Want
To Stick With This Color
Or Switch It Up Or What?
I Don't Know.
Um
I'm Sort Of Going Through
A Difficult Transition
In My Life Right Now.
I Need A Change.
Uh, I Was Thinking.
Taupe.
Sounds Good.
You Know,
I Like This Place.
It's Got A Good Vibe.
Uh, Thanks.
And A Nice Scent.
What Is That, Your Perfume?
Get Ou (Sighs)
Excuse Me?
I Was Not Born Yesterday, Pal.
You're Coming On To Me.
No, I'm Not.
Oh, Please.
Telling Me I Smell Good?
(Sniffs) I'm Not
Even Wearing Deodorant.
I Said The House Smells Good.
Semantics.
And Then The Not So Subtle
Sit-On-The-Bed Maneuver?
You Know, Why Not
Just Ask For A Massage?
I Sat Because My Feet Hurt
From You Dragging Me Around
For An Hour, Telling Me You Want
To Paint Every Room Taupe.
You Said You Liked It.
Look, You're Obviously
Going Through A Rough Patch.
I Was Afraid If I Suggested Anything
Outside The Beige Family,
I Might Send You
Over The Edge.
I'll Let Myself Out.
No.
No, Don't Go.
That Was Very Sweet Of You
To Consider My Feelings.
You Know What?
You're Hired.
Uh, Thanks
I Think.
So Do You Need To Look
These Over One More Time?
Okay, Then Just Sign Them,
And You'll
Be Officially Divorced.
You Know What?
We Need A Minute.
Take Your Time.
(Door Opens)
Are We Doing
The Right Thing Here?
You're Kidding Me, Right?
Once We Sign These Papers,
There's No Going Back.
I Can't Believe This.
You Were The One
Who Called The Lawyer.
I Know.
I'm Thinking
That Maybe
That Was A Mistake.
We've Been Separated
For A Year.
All We're Doing Today
Is Making It Official.
We Wouldn't Be Here If It
Weren't For That Accident.
You Know That.
Before That, We Were Good.
(Sighs)
We Could Get Back There.
Susan
It's Nobody's Fault,
But I Can't Do This Anymore.
Oh, Come On!
We Were Mike And Susan,
Remember?
You Only Get One Of Those
In A Lifetime.
We Could Make Things
Right Again.
Yeah.
And Here's How.
(Door Closes)
Hey.
You're Back.
So What Do You Think?
Uh It--It Looks Good.
Yeah, I-I-I Think You Were Right
To Stick With This Color.
It Looks Fantastic.
Thanks.
Do You Like Scotch?
Okay
I Need To Be Honest
About Something.
H-Honest? Okay.
I Don't Usually
Do This Kind Of Thing,
Hook Up Like This,
Out Of The Blue.
Not That It Wasn't Great,
'Cause It Was,
But I'm Not Really Looking
To Start Anything.
Work Is Crazy,
And I Just Got A Dog, And
I'm Just Not In That Place
Right Now.
So Just To Be Clear,
You're Saying You Don't Want
A Relationship?
Sorry.
I Probably Should Have
Said That Right Up Front.
No, Uh (Scoffs)
It's Fantastic.
Really?
I Don't Want
A Relationship Either.
All I Want From You Is
Exactly What We Just Did.
Except Next Time,
It's Susan.
Yeah.
"Mrs.
Mayer" Was Probably
A Little Formal For The Moment.
(Laughs)
So There's Gonna
Be A Next Time?
Unless You're Not Interested.
Are You Kidding?
I'm This Close To Doing
A Victory Lap Around The Bed.
So You're Really Fine
With This,
Just A Purely Physical Thing?
I Gave Romance A Shot And
I'm Ready For Something
A Little More Casual.
I've Heard Of Women Like You,
But (Laughs)
I Thought You Were
An Urban Myth.
Did You Hear What I Said?
Uh, Yeah.
You Want To Move In.
I-It's Just That
When I'm Not With You,
I'm Waiting To Be With You.
I've Never Felt
Like This Before.
So What Do You Think?
Do You Want To
Live Together?
No.
So That's It? Just No?
You're Not Gonna Give Me
A Reason?
What's Wrong
With The Way Things Are?
Why Change Everything Now?
Because I've Fallen In Love
With You.
Hi, Guys.
Welcome To The Party.
The Last Thing Lynette Scavo
Did Before A Party
Was To Check For Gray Hairs.
Penny!
Let's Go!
Time For Bath!
She Had No Way Of Knowing
Before This Evening Was Over,
E Would Have A Few More.
(Knocks On Window)
Penny!
Oh.
Penny.
If You're Thinking
Of Taking That For A Spin,
I've Got Bad News.
You're 9.
Hey, What's The Matter,
Sweetie?
Is Daddy Dying?
What? Of Course Not.
Why Would You Say
Something Like That?
I Heard Porter And Preston
Fighting About Who's Gonna Get
Daddy's Car When He Dies.
Oh.
They're Just Being Silly.
They're Always Silly.
That's Why We Won't Be Sad
When They Move Out Of The House.
Come On.
But Everybody Dies Someday,
Right?
Yes, But Daddy's Gonna Live
To A Ripe Old Age
Unless He Doesn't Get Home
In Time
For Mrs.
Mccluskey's Party,
And Then All Bets Are Off.
Oh, Daddy's Gonna Be Fine.
Come On.
Hi.
My Husband--
I'm Lynette Scavo.
Dr.
Baron Called Me--
I'm Dr.
Baron.
Oh.
Hi.
What Happened?
Your Husband Was Working
On An Electrical Panel At His Restaurant
Uh-Huh.
And Received A Massive Shock.
Essentially,
His Heart Stopped Pumping.
(Voice Breaks) Oh.
Is He
Fortunately,
There Was A Policeman
Eating In The Restaurant.
He Administered C.
P.
R.
Until The Ambulance Got There.
So He's Okay?
His Heart Restarted.
Now It's A Matter Of Determining
If There's Any Tissue Damage.
We're Optimistic, But The Next
He
Hey.
(Clears Throat)
So I'm Thinking
No More Electrical Work,
Okay?
The Kids Know
Everything's Fine.
They Send Their Love.
Don't Worry About Anything,
Okay? Just Rest.
I'll Come Back Soon, Okay?
You Know What I Thought?
When I Was Lying There
On The Floor,
I Thought, I'm Gonna Die
In A Pizza Place.
I Mean, My Whole Life
Was Gonna Be Summed Up
With This Obituary Headline--
"Local Pizza Shop Owner Dies.
"
But It Doesn't Matter
Because You're Not Dying.
I Need More, Lynette.
I Need--
Th-There's Gotta Be More.
Okay.
Okay.
We'll Find More.
Just Rest Now, Okay?
(Horn Honks)
(Tom) Hey, Sexy.
Drop The Rake And Get In.
What The Hell Is This?
This Is The Car That
I Have Wanted My Whole Life.
When I Was 12 Years Old,
I Had A Poster Of This Baby
Up On My Wall.
And When I Was 12, I Had
A Poster Of Shaun Cassidy,
But You Don't See Me
Driving Around In Him, Do You?
I Want To Show You Something.
What, Do Machine Guns Come Out
Of The Headlights? (Chuckles)
I Carry This Around
To Remind Me
Of The Day
That I Almost Died.
That Day You Promised Me
That We Would Find More.
I'm Keeping The Car.
So Do You Want A Ride?
Where Have You Been?
So Help Me, If Mccluskey
Gets There Before Us,
I Will Brain You.
Sorry.
Let's Go.
Well, Sheesh.
Oh.
Sweetie, We Already
Got Karen A Candle.
An R.
V.
Might Be Overkill.
Yeah, But That's Not For Her.
That's For Us.
I'm About To Blow Your Mind,
Lynette.
(Chuckles) Oh, Don't.
I Like My Mind The Way It Is.
What Would You Say
To The Idea
Of Taking The Kids
Out Of School For A Year
And Bopping Around The Country
In One Of These Sweet Rides?
Well, I Might Not
Say Anything.
I Might Justut My Finger
To My Ear
And Twirl It
In Small Circles.
We Can't Do Something
Like That, Tom.
Yes, We Can.
We Can Do
Whatever We Want.
Life Is Short.
Okay, Let Me Ask You
One Tiny Question
About This Big Adventure Plan
Of Yours
Who's Gonna Be Running
Our Restaurant
While We're Off Doing
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test?
That Won't Be Our Problem.
The Last Few Weeks,
I've Been Talking To A Guy
From Passentino's Pizza.
They Want To Buy Us Out.
(Scoffs)
This Afternoon, I Said Yes.
Hey, Guys.
You Ready To Party?
Moments Before She Was Due
At Her Friend's Party,
Bree Hodge Was At The Mirror,
Applying Her Eyeliner.
Aren't You Dapper?
When I Tell Everyone
I'm Your New Partner,
I Want To Look The Part.
It Would Not Be The Last Time
That Evening
Bree Would Find Herself
Um, Actually, Dear
Drawing A Line.
I'd Rather You Not Talk
About The Job Tonight.
But, Bree, This Is
The First Party In Months
When I Can Answer The Question,
"What's New?"
Without Mumbling
Into My Drink.
Well, It's Just Vulgar
To Discuss Business At A Party.
Mm.
You Haven't Told Katherine
Yet, Have You?
It's Not That Easy.
You Know She'll Be Furious.
Yes, But The Great Thing About
Katherine Is She'll Express It
So Passive-Aggressively,
We'll Hardly Notice.
Look, I Know She's Your Friend,
But She's Also Our Employee.
Why Is This So Difficult
For You?
It's Complicated.
Well Another Dead Soldier.
Careful, Dear.
You Don't Want
To Be Ill Tomorrow.
Yes.
Nothing Like A Headache
To Spoil A Perfectly Nice
First Day In Prison.
Uh, Would Anybody Like
Some More Frittata?
Is My Wife Amazing Or What?
I Mean, How Many Inmates
Get Sent Off
With A Festive Champag Brunch?
Uh, W-When You're In Jail,
You Might Want To Avoid Words
Like "Festive" And "Brunch.
"
They Kind Of Say,
"Hi.
I'm Husband Hunting.
"
Andrew, Please.
It's Fine.
This Is My Last Taste Of Freedom
For Three Years.
I Want Jokes.
I Want Fun, Laughter.
Anyway, Prison Won't
Be Such A Big Change.
You're A Dentist.
You're Used To Cavity Searches.
You Vowed To Me
That You Wouldn't Say That.
(Orson Chuckles)
Bree Tells Me
That You're Going To Make
Very Good Use Of Your Time Away.
Mm.
Uh, Yes.
He's Going To Read
A Lot Of Classic Books,
Maybe Study A Language.
Oh.
Yes, Uh, He Can Learn
The Italian For,
"I Cost Five Cigarettes.
"
(Laughs)
Andrew, Really.
Bree, He's Joking.
Everything's Fine
Except My Glass,
Which Seems To Be Empty.
Bree?
Bree?
Oh, For God Sake.
Get Up.
We Have
The Garden Club Lunch In
You've Been Drinking?
Go Away.
I Don't Feel Well.
We Have A Lunch To Cater.
I'm Too Tired.
Can You Do It?
Get Up.
When Did This Start?
When Orson Left, I
Began Having A Glass
Of White Wine Now And Then.
Then When Danielle
Took Benjamin,
I Didn't See Any Reason
To Stop At Just One.
So Is This Why You Missed
The Lunch Last Week
And The Braverman
Bar Mitzvah?
I Can't Help Myself,
All Right?
My Husband's Gone.
My Son's Gone.
I Have Nothing Left.
No, Actually, You Have
A Lunch For 40 In 3 Hours,
And I'm Not Letting You
Out Of It.
Oh, Katherine, Please.
Okay, So You Have
A Void In Your Life.
Welcome To The Club.
Don't Fill It With Wine.
Fill It With Work,
With Accomplishments.
Just Think About
The Woman You Could Be
By The Time Orson Gets Back.
Or Is This The Woman
You Want Him To Come Home To?
He's Gonna Be
So Ashamed Of Me.
No, He Won't
Because You're Not
Gonna Tell Him.
You Know
He'd Just Blame Himself.
I Don't Know
If I Can Make It This Time.
Yes, You Will,
Because I Am Moving In.
You Would Do That?
When I Had Nothing,
You Made Me Your Partner.
I'm Not Gonna Forget That.
I Am Gonna Get You
Through This.
And When We're Done,
That Scary Woman Over There--
She's Never Gonna Be Seen
In This House Again.
When You Think About It,
Tonight Is The Ideal Time
For You To Tell Katherine.
The Presence
Of The Other Guests
Will Keep Her
From Causing A Scene,
And As Word Spreads
That We're Partners--
And How Is Word
Going To Spread?
I'll Be Spreading It.
People
Will Be Congratulating Me,
And Katherine Will Have To
Join In And Risk Looking Petty.
And She'll Be Twice As Mad
At Having Been Put
In That Position.
I Am Not Telling Her Tonight.
Fine.
Then I Will.
No, You Will Not.
I Forbid It.
You Know, For A Partner, You're
Sounding A Lot Like A Boss.
I Am Telling Her.
Look, If We Can't Agree
On Something This Basic,
Maybe We Shouldn't
Work Together.
What Are You Saying?
I'm Saying, Maybe You Should
Reconsider Joining The Company.
I Have No Intention
Of Reconsidering.
Fine.
You're Fired.
??
The Party Was In Full Swing,
And Everyone Was Waiting
To Surprise The Guest Of Honor.
Little Did They Know,
An Even Bigger Surprise
Was On Its Way.
Sorry I'm Late.
There Was A Line At The Bakery.
Well,
You Really Went All Out.
Yeah, She Deserves It.
Can I Help You,
Mrs.
Mccluskey?
This Letter For Edie
Came To My House By Mistake.
I'm Making Sure That None
Of My Stuff, Uh, Came Here.
Well, It's All Yours.
(Door Closes)
Hey.
Anything Interesting?
Fortunately, No.
I Just Saw
Your Friend Karen Outside.
Is She Still Asking You
Questions About Me?
A Few, But Don't Take It
Personally.
Prying Is What People
Too Old To Have Sex Do
To Keep Life Interesting.
She's Turning 70
Next Week.
No Kidding.
Hey,
We Should Throw Her A Party.
I'm Already Taking Her Out
For A Drink.
That's Plenty.
She'll Be 70, Sweetheart.
Don't You Think That Calls
For Something Bigger?
Look, Karen's A Friend,
But I Don't Like
Having Her In My House.
It Would Be One Thing
If We Had A Bathroom With
A Window You Could Open, But
Well, Couldn't You Ask
Someone Else To Host It?
Well, I Suppose I Could
Palm It Off To Mayer.
Good.
Tell Her We'll Supply
The Food And Liquor.
You Know,
Karen's Not A Fan Of Yours.
Why Do You Want
To Throw Her A Party?
It's A Big Day For Her.
I Just Want
To Make Sure It's Special.
So
What Do You Think?
I Think That Is
One Hell Of An Outfit
To Wear
To A 70th Birthday Party.
It's My Gift To Karen.
I Figure She'll Get At Least
Five Good *** Jokes Out Of It.
Well, She'll Be Here Soon,
So Let's Go Over This
One More Time.
Okay.
I Take Her Home,
Then I Come Up With Some Excuse
To Get Her Over To Susan's,
Where Everyone Jumps Out
And Yells, "Surprise!"
Which I Still Say
Isn't The Smartesthing To Do
To A 70-Year-Old.
(Knock On Door)
Mrs.
Mccluskey.
Happy Birthday.
Jeez, Edie, Are We Going
For Drinks Or Mammograms?
That's One.
Oh, Let Me Grab My Earrings,
And We're Good To Go.
So
It's Quite A Milestone.
How's It Feel?
No Big Whoop.
Edie Told Me
That She Takes You
Out For A Birthday Drink
Every Year.
I Think
That's A Great Tradition.
Look, I'm Just Trying
To Be Friends Here.
(Edie) All Righty Then.
I'll See You Later.
Mm-Hmm.
Come On.
Let's Go.
I've Got Enough Friends.
Where's Karen?
She'll Be Here As Soon As She
Gives Her Cat Some Medicine.
Mm.
Mm.
Do I You Think
She'll Be Surprised?
Oh, Absolutely.
What The
Dave.
Just So I'm Clear,
You Want Us To Sell
Our Thriving Business
So We Can Live In A Bus,
Like Carnies?
Come On.
This Is Cool.
We Can Go Wherever We Want.
The--The Kids
Could See America.
And When We Start Stealing
To Support Ourselves,
The Ki Can See
The Inside Of A Prison.
You're Right, Tom.
It's A Brilliant Idea.
Damn It, Lynette.
Why Do You
Have To Be Such A Buzz Kill?
Why Can't You, Just Once,
Give Me A Little Support?
Fine.
(Scoffs)
I'll Get You A Towel.
For What?
??
Not After All The Sacrifices
I Made For You.
Orson, Stop Throwing Jail
In My Face.
You Cellmate Was
A Crooked C.
P.
A.
Who Helped You Form A Bridge
Club.
It Wasn't Exactly Attica.
Bree, I Need This Job.
Do You Have Any Idea What It's
Like To Wake Up Every Morning
And Have No Reason
To Get Out Of Bed?
To Smile And Nod
At Neighbors
Who Know
Your Wife's Supporting You
Because No One
Will Hire A Felon?
I Am Drowning, And For You
To Throw Me A Lifeline
And Then *** It Away--
Orson, I Should Have Never
Offered You That Job.
It Wasn't Fair To Katherine.
I Am Your Husband.
Why Are You Putting Katherine's
Feelings Ahead Of Mine?
Orson, Please.
You're Putting Me
In An Impossible Position.
Then Let Me
Make It Simpler For You.
I Want A Divorce.
Hi.
Katherine, Great Dress.
You're Gonna Turn Some Heads
With That One.
I Hope You're Enjoying
This Party, Carlos,
Because You're Not Gonna Live
To See Another One.
Look, I'm Sorry That I Lied,
And For What It's Worth,
The Guilt
Has Been Tearing Me Apart.
You Know What's
Gonna Tear Me Apart?
Another 10-Pound Baby
Shooting Out My Hoo-Ha.
Honey, Look At It This Way,
God Blessed Us Again Because
You Are Such A Great Mom.
Oh.
Get Your Hands Off Me,
You Selfish Son Of A ***.
I Told You I Love You.
Doesn't That Mean Anything
To You?
Yes.
It Means
That Someone Forgot
That We Had An Agreement
To Keep Things Casual.
Wow.
Okay.
So If We're Not
In A Relationship,
If I Was With Another Woman,
That Wouldn't Bother You?
No, It Wouldn't.
Quiet, Everyone.
She's Coming.
Move It.
(All) Surprise!
You Think
You Can Screw With Me?
What Do You Mean?
Karen, What The Hell
Are You Doing?
Ask That Husband Of Yours!
(Edie) No!
Let's Not Be Doing That.
No, That Man Broke
Into My House Tonight!
What?
Yes, And He--
And He Moved Things Around,
And He--And Heook A Picture
Off The Wall,
And Then He Put The Table
Next To The Couch,
And The Dish For The Keys--
It's Always By The
Shh.
It's Always By The Door.
And That's Not The First Time
He's Broken In Either.
He Stole My Cat,
And Then He Put Him Back.
Okay, Mrs.
Mccluskey,
Why Would I Do Those Things?
Karen, I Hate To Say It,
But You're Not Making
A Lot Of Sense Right Now.
Maybe You Need To Lie Down.
You
Hey!
I Think
We Should Call 9-1-1.
Let Go Of Me!
Why Are You All Acting
Like I'm Crazy?
Halle-Damn-Lujah,
I Got My Period!
Oh, Was She Surprised?
She Seemed Totally Disoriented,
Babbling.
I Just Hope
It Isn't Dementia.
She Lives By Herself.
We'll Alert The Hospital.
We're Gonna Need
A Psych Evaluation.
Thank You.
Thank You.
Poor Karen.
I Hope She's Okay.
Yeah, Me, Too.
We Should Probably Talk Now,
Huh?
Yeah.
Let's Talk.
Does This Relationship
Have A Future?
Jackson, What We Have Here
Has Been Working Pretty Well.
Answer The Question.
Can't We Just Keep Going
The Way We Are?
And There's My Answer.
(Siren Wailing)
It Seems Like They're
Taking Good Care Of Her.
I Hope You Didn't Mean
What You Said Earlier.
You Just Don't Understandwhat I Owe To K
You're Right.
I Don't.
You Started The Company
And Gave Her A Job
When She Needed One Badly.
Why Are You
The One Who Owes Her?
You Know That
Brunch We Had For You Right
Before You Left For Prison?
(Whispering)
I Was Very Tense,
And I Was Very Unhappy.
So I Had
A Glass Of Champagne.
She's Tough.
I'm Sure She'll Be Okay.
How About The Crazy
Married Couple Throwing Drinks?
How Are They Gonna Be?
You Know, I Just Thought
That You Got It,
That You Knew What I Was Going
Through After Accident.
You Know,
Obviously I Was Wrong.
No, I Get It.
The Sports Car,
The Garage Band
Maybe What We Need Now, Tom,
Is For You To Get It.
Hey, I Was
The One Laying On The Floor
With A Cop
Pounding On My Chest.
And I Had Cancer.
I Get It.
I Get It.
You Want Your Life
To Countor Something.
Exactly.
I Just Don't Want To
Keep Making Pizzas Every Day
Till I Drop To The Floor
For Real.
I Want My Life To Be Exciting.
You Know, I Need Adventure.
Scavo's Was The Adventure.
We Changed Our Whole Lives
So You Could Live Out Your
Dream, And Now You're Bored.
We Can't Keep Doing This,
Tom.
We Can't Keep Throwing
All The Cards Up In The Air
Every Time You Get
A Little Restless.
Let's Call It A Night.
We Have To Work Tomorrow.
Are You Coming?
I'll Come When I'm Ready.
Did She Really Need
An Ambulance?
I Don't Know.
But You Would Have
If I Hadn't Started My Period.
How Could You
Have Done This?
Isn't It Obvious?
I Want Another Kid.
We Can't Handle Another Kid.
We're Living Hand To Mouth
As It Is.
That's What You Said
Before We Had Juanita
And Before We Had Celia,
And Somehow We Manage.
And Can You Imagine Our Lives
Without Them?
Of Course I Can't.
It's Just
How Could You Have Lied
To Me?
I Just Couldn't Shake
The Idea That Maybe God Had One
More Miracle In Store For Us.
Maybe A Son.
And We Have So Much Love
In Our Lives,
I Got Greedy,
And I Wanted More.
But You're Right.
It Was Selfish And Stupid,
And I Am So Sorry.
I Will Call Tomorrow
And Schedule A Vasectomy.
Or We Use Birth Control,
And I'm Talking
Double-Bagging,
At Least Until We Both Decide
It's A Good Idea.
I Think I Gotta Kiss You.
And Until We Get A Box
Of Condoms In That House,
That's All You're Gettin'.
Orson.
What's Up?
Bree Told Me What You Did
For Her When I Was In Prison.
I Just Want To Thank You.
It's Nothing.
Not To Bree Or Me.
And You Were Dead Right
To Stop Her From Telling Me.
I'd Consider It An Honor
To Work For Somebody That Wise.
Work For?
The Last I Heard,
It Was Partner.
All Right, How's This?
I'll Become A Partner
But Only After
You Decide I've Earned It.
I'm A Patient Man.
I Don't Care
If It Takes Two Years.
Oh, Honey
Working For Bree--
You're Not Gonna Last
Ten Months.
Mind If I Say Good-Bye
To Our Girl?
Sure,
But She's A Little Groggy.
You Planned The Whole Thing.
You're Trying
To Get Rid Of Me.
Yes.
And I'm Sorry
It Had To Be You.
'Cause I Know
You're Up To Something--
Something Awful.
You Don't Know
What "Awful" Is.
You Take Care Of Yourself,
Karen,
And I Mean That.
Yes, It Was A Night
Filled With Surprises.
Some Had Learned Of Their Husband's Plans
For The Future
Others Had Discovered The Truth
Of Their Wife's Past
Some Were Touched By Their
Husband's Secret Longings
Others Were Hurt By
Their Lover's Quick Departure.
But For One Resident,
The Evening
Had Gone As Planned,
And He Now Turned His Thoughts
To His Real Agenda.
It Wouldn't Be Long Now
Before He Destroyed The Man
Who Had Ruined His Life,
But He Knew
He Had To Move Carefully.
After All, He Wanted It
To Be A Surprise.