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Radio astronomers all around the world have intercepted a coded signal coming from outer space.
The message is clear
Nearly 60% of people believe that they will see God on October 3rd.
The rest don't believe or are preparing for the end of the world.
My fellow Americans, this is your President.
We do expect an extraordinary visit on October 3rd and I have taken the following measures.
One, the event will take place in a stadium holding ten thousand of the world's most influential people.
Two, we are blocking all nearby access to avoid chaos.
In God we trust.