Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Bonjourno, bienvenue and wilcommen to This is Genius' weekly Tuesday show. We're still
trying to think of a better name for it. Guess we could shorten it to the Tweesday show.
Coming up this week, Obama says weed is less harmful than alcohol, fails to comment on
crack. Scientists amazed as a jelly donut appears overnight on Mars, disappointed to
discover it's just a rock. Hidden camera films birds - perverts disappointed, and of course
your comments.
And first to Washington DC where Barack Obama has admitted what much of the rest of the
world knows - That cannabis is less dangerous than alcohol. Which, to be fair, is pretty
dangerous. Speaking in the New Yorker, the President said that Cannabis was really just
a bad habit and vice. Like picking your nose. This is a backtrack. A retreat so large you
could make a steretypical French surrender joke about it. The war on drugs has cost tens
of billions of dollars and tens of thousands of lives, to stop something which is, essentially,
cheeky. Obama says it's about as bad for you as smoking. And he should know, because he's
freely admitted he used to do both.
To the president's credit, he said that the legalisation movement was important because
it creates greater legal equality. Essentially, giving poor people who smoke weed the right
not to go for jail for a mostly victimless crime. Which is a right that rich people who
can afford good lawyers already enjoy.
It looks like the US could be about to make the greatest domestic policy U-turn in history.
Roll up. Roll up.
And now it's time for your comments and in our piece on politicians getting hit with
things, you can find that in the annotation here...
Roll on 2015 wrote Funny find some more. The magic word is please. But ok. Here's Russian
nationalist politician Vladimir Zhiri-novksy getting pelted with salad in Kiev, Ukraine.
And in last week's Tuesday show, annotation again. Nick ace lvn wrote Love it ! Finaly
someone who isnt an idiot ! Well done consider me subscribed.
Thanks! I will consider you subscribed. But if you could actually subscribe too that would
be great.
And now to some other nonsense in the news and to Mars, where the opportunity rover appears
to have done some kind of magic trick whilst Nasa wasn't looking. In late December, the
ancient rover, trundling for over 10 years and recently more or less stationary, took
two photos just a few martian days apart of the exact same rocks, in the exact same spot.
Except, ooh, what's this. What's been described by Nasa as a "Jelly Donut" appeared. As if
by magic. Apparently it's made up of unusually large amounts of Sulphur, Manganese and magnesium,
white with a delicious red 'jelly' centre.
Where did it come from? What is it? And why is it a totally different colour to everything
else? No one knows, it really is a mystery. Nasa's best guesses so far are that the rover's
wheels dislodged and flicked the rock out like a tiddlywink, or that it was blown there
by a meteorite impact. Of course, the most likely scenario is in fact that someone in
the lab left a jelly donut on top of the rover that's only just fallen off, or indeed that
Krispy Creme has beaten humanity to the rest of the solar system by a couple of hundred
years, just enough time for the martian population, hidden deep below ground for millions of years
since the scorching apocolyptic destruction of the surface, to be wiped out by an obesity
epidemic.
When we do eventually arrive on the planet, the only sign of a once proud and healthy
Martian civilisation will be giant green blobs riding over the surface of the red planet
on the backs of the old rovers, popping out to the shops for value brand superstrength
beer and checken nuggets before riding their requisitioned mobililty scooters back to their
subterranean caverns, switching Jeremy Kyle back on and moaning about all these human
immigrants taking their jobs.
And finally, what does it look like to fly through the sky pounce on a passing blackbird
and eat its throat whilst its life essence gurgles and sputters out beneath you. Well
for those countless among you who've obviously been wondering, it looks like this. The footage
was provided by Belgian, Eddy De Mol, who strapped cameras to the falcon's backs and
heads and then let them rip on the local bird population.
But this wasn't carnage, it was science. The footage was analysed by Dr Suzanne Amador
Kane, from Haverford College, USA, to learn more about the flight and hunting patterns
of these magestic but totally sociopathic killers. Presumably, we learned that they
like to eat birds.