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Fostering DVD transcript
(Keith Malone) Hello there, I'm Keith Malone and I'm speaking to you on behalf of Bristol
City Councils' Children and Young Peoples Services. First of all I'd like to say a big
thank you for taking the time to watch this film because we really heed people like you
to change a life forever. And that's our message, change a life forever, it's true you will.
In a moment you'll be hearing from some of our foster carriers here in Bristol. They'll
tell you how much fostering mean to them, what a difference it has made not only to
children they help to look after but to their own lives too, and it's all for the better.
So thank you again for watching and here's some background information for you. Bristol
is a thriving city. It's multicultural and prosperous. We think that people here are
generally tolerant caring and like to help whenever they can. It's one of the best places
to live in the UK. But like all cities it has it's share of problems. At any one time
Bristol has around 650 children in care, due to neglect, abuse, family dysfunction and
other reasons. And it's the council's job to insure these children have somewhere safe
to stay whilst problems at home are investigated and solved if possible. But this is never
easy. We currently have around 280 families in Bristol who are our foster carers, but
we do heed more. This will give us more choice when matching children and carers and it will
prevent us having to place some children outside the city, away from friends, school and their
local communities. And we also need more people to join our short breaks team, who provide
regular and flexible breaks for disabled children and their families. So by listening to our
foster carers describing their experiences we hope you'll want to find out more about
how you can help. We hope you find their stories interesting and inspiring.
(Jo Brown) Hi my names Jo, I've been a foster carer for three years. We do short term foster
care for teenage girls. And I got into fostering because mother is a foster carer and has been
for 18 years, my sisters a foster carer and has been for 6 years and my auntie is a foster
carer and has been for nearly 30 years. So I've got a background of foster caring and
that's exactly why I came into it and I'd always wanted to be a foster carer. I just
had to convince the husband to be able to do it as well.
(Steve Brown) I'm a professional darts player for a living, which involves working Saturdays
and Sundays so I get to spend a lot of time helping Jo out with the kids. Monday to Friday
helping cook the tea, looking after the smaller ones when she's on the school run, so it fits
in really nice.
(Jackie Franklin) My name is Jackie and John and I have been foster carers for the last
30 years for Bristol City Council. We first came into fostering because we wanted to expand
our family. I wanted to have another baby, John said he thought three children was enough
for anybody so why didn't we look after other peoples children. So that when the idea of
fostering first sprang into our heads and I've had various ages of children. I've had
sibling groups of three at a time, I've had four sets of twins in that time. And when
I say I, I don't mean only I because my husband is very much involved in what we do.
(Sharon Wilson) Hi my name is Sharon, I am a short-term foster carer and I got into fostering
by watching the African appeals on TV that, you know, earlier on in life. And as I became
settled and had my own family I decided that it was the right time to become a foster carer
and I've been fostering now for three years. I think it's really important for black people
to come forward and foster children from ethnic minorities. It's important for the child some
knowledge of their background, to have some experience of what living in the same sort
of ethnic family that they come from.
(Michael Wilson) Talking about the child that was with us and how she's developed and grown
while she's been with us, seeing a great deal of development. And we've seen her integrate
with our family and become, if you like, a full member of that family. Taking full part
and able to sand up for herself with our children.
(Jackie Franklin) And I remember very well the first placement that we had, it was a
little boy who's mummy was going into hospital for a standard operation but literally had
no extended family to look after the little boy. So he came to us for a month while she
was in hospital and while she recovered from the operation. And although I was very nervous
when he arrived he settled down quickly. He was three and a half and so we were able to
explain to him that mummy was OK and we would be going to visit mummy and my own children
were five, six and nine at the time. So they were very caring of him and wanted to play
with him lots and look after him.
(Kim James) Hi I' Kim, I'm a foster carer for the council with four teenage girls in
place. I came into fostering because I had four children of our own and bought them up
and they turned out OK and I just thought that I could make a difference to other children
and I wanted to bring them into my loving family and help them along and give them that
chance. I think to become a foster carer the first thing I would say you need is a sense
of humour. (laughs) Definitely works, a sense of humour. And then I'd say you need firm,
fair and consistent boundaries. I think once you put all this in place, I find the children
are quit compliant if you keep it firm and you keep it fair. I've always work with these
children the same as my own children always put the same fair rules in place. And I find
that once they learn to respect you, which they do, that's it you've got it then. Once
they respect you, you've got it then and it all home sailing and they do comply and it's
lovely, they feel part of your family.
(Jackie Franklin) When we look back, and we finally retire, at all the joy we've had from
the children we've cared for and the knowledge that we've made a real difference in children's
lives. That for me is what gets me onto the next child and picks me up when I'm feeling
a bit sad. Because that's priceless, you can't put a price on that. And, for me, that is
just the joy of fostering really.
(Sharon Wilson) She came to us with practically nothing. When you look back at her now, she
is a bright, intelligent little girl. And she has progressed so much in life. We can
just see the changes that we have helped to make in her life.
(Michael Wilson) The lead person is the partner and they need a lot of support. However, saying
that, we all have a role to play and I find there are thing I can do, sit down and do
homework support, go into schools, meetings and so on. Which I find helps out however
the main player is always going to be my wife and she has a specific role whereas I play
much more of a supporting role.
(Jo Brown) My children have adapted to fostering very, very well. They've always known foster
children to be around because my mum being a foster carer and I spend an awful lot of
time with my mum. I think my children are very, very understanding. Don't get me wrong
we have had our difficulties with my youngest but he's come round and he loves the foster
children, they all love the foster children.
(Andrew Dellenty) Hi my name is Andrew, I'm an emergence reception foster carer, which
basically means I receive kids coming into care in an emergency situation for periods
between a day to twelve weeks. It's 14 plus teenaged boys generally in care for lots of
different reasons really. There's not really any particular reason they're in care but
they come to me first and we try to get them on their way to recovery. I used to be an
IT engineer working for the BBC. They were offering redundancies or early leaving options.
I'd been quite involved with kids before hand, because I was a Sea Cadet before hand, looking
after kids in general doing stuff for them and when it came down to it I was fairly board
with getting up and doing a 9 to 5. So I thought OK just give it a go so I changed career to
a full time foster carer. Obviously at the emergency reception level it's a fee paid
scheme so you get your salary as well as the money for the boys to live on.
(Jo Brown) The assessment process for me was actually quite exciting I was looking forward
to it. Because I've been brought up in a foster family with my mum fostering I didn't think
that I knew it all so I wanted to go into this and I enjoyed do this. It was a good
process meeting other people who wanted to become foster carers as well. In fact I've
seen a few of those people on courses and the training courses you do as foster carers
so you can make friends on those courses as well and have other people to speak to.
(Steve Brown) I have to say the course does put you in really good staid for the challenges
in front of you. I've got to be honest that Joanne surprises me on a daily basis, how
good she is.
(Jo Brown) And like wise.
(Maria Mansari) My name is Maria, alias Florence Nightingale as my friend call me and family.
I'm the sort of person that if anybodies in trouble or needs any help I've got to do it
because it just comes from my heart. It's just something that if I can help out I'll
go and do it. And a lot of people say that's one of my good points and that's what took
me into fostering. Because I care so much and there are so many children out there who
need homes. And I can provide that for a child.
(Marie Bowden) Hello I'm Marie and I'm a short term carer in Bristol and I provide breaks
for disabled children and there families. And this means opening up my home and offering
short breaks at weekends for disabled children and also offering tea visits and time at weekends
and in the school holidays. We had a young boy to stay with us for 10 years and he came
to us from 7. And initially he was quite a challenging little boy, quite physical with
my son and it was offering boundaries to him. But we worked with him and he used to come
on a Friday full of the joys of spring and bouncing around and then on the Sunday we
were all washed out because we were all exhausted as a family so we knew how much the sort breaks
meant to his family. But there have been so many lovely memories with him just watching
him grow into adulthood, seeing him grow into a young man and become independent. He's setup
in his own flat now which we were luck to be involved in helping him move and giving
him a few gifts to decorate his home. And He's all setup with a partner now and he's
very, very happy.
(Hollie Bowden) My mum's been fostering for a while now and it's really fun as you get
to meet lots of new people and every single child is unique. So they all come with their
own particular need and personalities and it's really nice to get to know them. Every
time we get a new child I get excited because it's someone new to get to know and becomes
like your sister or brother. So it's really nice to get to know them and then by the time
they leave your really good friends with them and you stay in touch with them. I've recently
done my GCSE's and I've moved on to do a national diploma in health and social care. And fostering
has made me want to do this because it's made me realise I want to work with children and
I like caring for children.
(Heather Brooks) Hi I'm Heather, I've been a foster carer for 14 years now. I've done
a bit of all sorts of fostering. I've done respite, short term and now I'm long term
for four children. I heard something on the radio about fostering, I thought I'm going
to go for that. I was a bit nervous about ringing up but I thought, no, I will ring.
It's something that's always been on my mind so I rang up and then I had someone come around
and talk about it. And I'm still unsure but I went through with it. No I thought I will
go through with it so I had the assessment then I had the training and 14 years later
I'm still fostering.
(Andy Brooks) Being a fosterer is very rewarding. I do enjoy it more than I did when I first
started. It's just nice to see the sort of changes in a child. You get them when they're
first with you, no manners, no boundaries ect. You see that change in a child and it's
just such a nice thing to see these children grow up in front of you.
(Heather Brooks) The reason I like long term fostering is that you can see the children
right the way through. Each week you see a change in them and they feel, once they've
been there just a couple of weeks, it feels that they've been there forever. And your
just able to give them stability that they would have had if they'd come from a normal
family. I like it when we're away somewhere and somebody compliments them on how well
behaved all the children are and they do not know they're fostered. And it's just a really
rewarding thing to do and it just feels great.
(Kim James) One young lad that came to me. He was 15 and he had problems at home, he
was with me for 6 month, and after the 6 months he came along really well, really excepted
into our family, we were speaking in the garden one day and he said it was his 21st Birthday
coming up and he'd never had a party before. So I said I'd throw a party for him in my
garden, which I did. We had 60 people here for him, he was absolutely over the moon and
at the end of the night, when he'd had a little bit too much to drink, he just broke down
and started crying. I said what's wrong and he said this is the best day of my life and
I'd like to thank you very much I've never had a party before.
(Maria Mansari) It's all about the rice and peas. And why I say that, I know this is ever
so strange and funny, but a little boy that I fostered and the first thing he come through
the door and said, rice and peas he said. And I knew then he was at home because of
the culture differences we just really need mixed heritage foster carers. And so when
your thinking about, oh yea I'm thinking about it but I'm going to do something else now,
pick up the phone you wont regret it. And it's so rewarding, challenging, but rewarding.
Just keep your sense of humour and your kind heart.
(Andrew Dellenty) Being a single guy I think it's a bit of a different environment for
the boys when they get here. Their initial reaction when I open the door and there's
a 6'2" rugby player rather than a nice friendly mummy I think is a bit of a shock to them
but it seems to work quite well. I try to run this as almost more of a big brother situation
and kind of guide and help them. A lot of my work is to do with trying to help them
become individuals, to get out once they hit 18. Out and get their own places, know how
to cook and budget for food not just buy fifteen loaves of bread. You can have them from a
day to twelve weeks and you can see a difference in a few hours sometimes. Sometimes you'll
get one who wont change for a week or so but as long as you keep that kind of safe environment
and don't try to be too much in their faces then they'll come round to, OK this is better
than sleeping on the street or any other things they might be doing.
(Jo Brown) I feel that fostering has changed over the years. When my mum became a foster
carer it was more of a nurturing kind of situation whereas now the focus isn't just on the nurturing,
it's about their education, it's about all of their needs and I thinks that's how it's
changed. That's how fostering has moved on and I think it has to have moved on that way
and it's now become more of a career for us as well. Where as before although it's still
treated as our family life, it's also a career for me now and I can actually get qualifications
in doing this.
(Maria Mansari) You've got plenty of help out there, social worker is so close to you
and you can always ring them and say I need information on whatever and she'll be there
for you. Not only that there is a buddy system, this is with other foster carers, and you're
allocated a special buddy and any time you've got any problems or anything phone up and
she's there for you. So I find the whole process very relaxing, not only that it gives you
confidence in yourself as well. Because you know that the information you're learning
and you know if at the end of the day you'll be fostering, you've got the best information
and training going.
(Kim James) When I go to these training days you don't just learn from what they're training
you, you actually learn from the other carers. Because they all get into conversations with
you and tell you about ways they've handled different things and then you think well actually
I came across that problem and I could have handled it like that and it would have worked
better. So you learn so much more by conversing with the other foster carers.
(Trish Mensah) Hi I'm Trish Mensah, I'm a social worker in the family placement team.
I prepare foster, assess foster carers, help with training foster carers and support foster
carers. And we've got a really good package of support once you've been prepared and approved
officially as a foster carer and that includes offering you a buddy, someone who's more experienced
as a foster carer. They help support you through that first year. Sometimes things you don't
want to ask a social worker and to hold your hand a little. I've been a social worker now
in this team for about 16 years and I've seen some great foster carers in my time, they
have really turned lives around. Children who may be didn't look like they had a good
start in life have gone onto university, they've become really good parents themselves or they've
gone on in fact to become teachers, social workers or other jobs that have the mark of
a good care from a foster carer when they were young. The training offers you really
good grounding so that you feel more confident in the issues that may come up. Because fostering
someone else's child is very different to look after your own child. You get different
issues come up because they may have suffered from neglect or they may have had a parent
with mental health problems, they haven't had that secure background sometimes so you
do need an extra hand about different issues that will come up over time.
(Rebecca Lowe) My name's Rebecca, I've been in foster care since I was 5 years old. I've
been living with foster parents for 11 years now. Since I was 6 years, I'm now 17, they're
like a normal family to me its really nice living with them. If I hadn't been in foster
care I would probable been in a residential unit, which isn't as nice. I was only young
when I came into care, you have to look after yourself, you have to do everything for yourself.
It's nice to kind of have the opportunity to start a new family, to treat everyone like
your own family, it's just really, really nice.
(Mykel Blake) Hi I'm Mykel, I've been in care for about 11 years, I'm at the age of 15 now.
And for me so far care has been very successful. I feel as if I've developed my life very well.
(Rebecca Lowe) For people out there that want to become foster carers I'd really encourage
it because it does change a lot of young peoples lives and just gives them a future, gives
them something to have. I mean it's nice having a family to care for you. Jackie and my foster
carers have really inspired me to become a foster carer when I'm older. I love to do
that because I'd love to make someone's life as happy as they made mine. It's been really,
really nice and a good experience.
(Mykel Blake) I'm mixed race and have a black heritage, Afro-Caribbean, and I do feel that
there aren't enough black foster carers out there. It would be really good if we could
start trying to look for some more black carers to be in the care system so there are more
families for black children in care. Because I think it's very important that if you're
a black child you should have a black mother or father or maybe someone that you can relate
to ethnicity.
(Heather Brooks) If you thinking about fostering don't just think about it anymore, make that
phone call and you will change a life forever and you will find it rewarding. And it may
be the best thing you've ever done, it was for us.
(Marie Bowden) Defiantly pick up that phone. A little bit of time you get a lot of reward
back.
(Andrew Dellenty) If your thinking about it as a career change it's defiantly great. I've
been doing it for six months now and there's not been a day I've thought to my self, Oh
god I miss the office I want to go back to putting a suit on every morning and doing
the whole office thing.
(Sharon Wilson) We decided to do it because we had our family and we felt settled in our
family and I think if your able to give somebody a home, to care for somebody, you should give
it a go. (Kim James) So I'm very lucky and very privileged
to be doing a job that I absolutely love. It makes a big difference to the children
in my care and I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing than this and wish I'd
done it years ago.
(Maria Mansari) I was 24 when I thought about fostering and you talk to people and they
say you'd be really good at that, you could do that, you've got a kind heart, loving.
It took me till my boys grew up and what am I 47! So all those years I could have given
some thing to a child and I missed out on it. Just one big regret I have got.
(Jackie Franklin) So if you're interested make that phone call. There's lots of support,
lot of help, the department do training courses to help you. People like me who are experienced
foster carers help on those courses so we bring a realism to the course, we know what
it's like, we share our experience with you and were there to help you if your struggling.
So your not left on your own, there's lots of help lots of support. So if your thinking
about it don't just think, do it.
(Steve Brown) I had my reservations, I thought we were too young to do it. But to be honest
it suits us really well doesn't it?
(Jo Brown) Definitely, and it's worth it. If you can just change one child's life that's
a good enough reason in it's self. If you can help one child you have done a massive
job.
(Steve Brown) The rewards are as big as the challenges.
(Jo Brown) Definitely, in fact I think they outweigh them. They do.
(Keith Malone) So we hope you found those stories inspiring. And a big thank you to
all the foster carers who took part. If you are interested in becoming a foster carer
you'll get all the support and training you need. Please remember our message, change
a life forever. Do get in touch soon.