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Iris: Oh hey. We wake you?
Cozy: Six hours ago.
Iris: This is Dube. He's African.
Dube: Oobalale.
Iris: Met him last night at the IHOP.
Cozy: Last night.
Iris: He's a tumbler for the Universouuuuull--
Dube: --souuuuuuull--
Iris: --circus. He's a contortionist. Girl, wore my *** out. Show her the thing you do -- with the leg over the shoulder with the --
Dube: Ah -- OOOOOWWEEEEELLLEEEEEEE!!!!
Iris: I don't know what the *** he's saying.
Cozy: Probably that he's comin' back to rob us.
Iris: Awwww, Cozy.
Iris: How is that whole celibacy thing working out?
Cozy: Great. 27 days and counting.
Iris: Mmmmm. You hang in there.
(music playing on the radio) "Birthday Sex..."
"Got sex on the brain..."
"Baby once I get inside..."
"Sex shooter come and play..."
"Hot sex on the platter..."
Cozy: Ahhh.
Clerk: Can I help you?
Cozy: I'm sorry?
Clerk: Were you looking for something specific?
Cozy: No, not really...Well, yes. I need to see what books you have on celibacy.
Clerk: What was that dear?
Cozy: Celibacy.
Clerk: One more time?
Cozy: Celibacy.
Clerk: Spell it.
Cozy: I'll just go look around.
Clerk: Here you go dear. Celibacy. C-E-L-I-B-A-C-Y. A vow or choice not to participate in *** intercourse.
(CONT'D) Most likely based on years of promiscuity, poor choices, violent tendencies, emotional instability, possible veneral diseases or occasional erratic psychological behavior.
(CONT'D) For those with low-self esteem it can be an attempt to regain self control by eliminating intimacy. Is that the type of book you're looking for, dear?
Cozy: Do you have it or not?
Clerk: Oh no. We don't carry anything like that. But I do think you could use something like this.
Cozy: It was like talking to my grandmother. Held captive in the bookstore for over an hour, listening to the error of my past ways.
Cozy: I went to three other stores after that. Found absolutely nothing. Sex is everywhere. But to find info on not having it well that's the task.
Cozy: Where can I go? Who can I talk to? If anyone out there knows, please do tell.