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'Sup internet friend and welcome to HowToNott.
The place where I teach you how not to do stuff. Or, how to not do stuff.
And today I'd like to teach you how not to wear perfume.
You know, perfume? The stuff that makes you smell good, feel pretty.
The stuff that makes the girls go "Ohhh!" and the guys go "Oeehh!"......
I like me some perfume. Love it! Every day a different smell.
Is it a summery day, I like to use some flowery, fresh stuff.
Is it a gloomy winter day I like to wear some earthy warm stuff. Love it!
I also love smelling perfume on other people.
You know, when somebody gives you a hug and you smell their perfume. So nice! (Sniffs and exhales in pleasure)
But there's one thing I don't understand.
Why are there people who douse themselves in perfume?
Like, you can smell them from miles away!
And even though you know the perfume is... you know, supposed to smell good.
A shitload of perfume does not smell good, people!
And I'm not talking about sillage. I love sillage!
You know, when a person walks by and you get a little hint of their perfume. (sniffs and exhales in pleasure)
I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about stepping into an elevator and getting an instant headache
because someone is standing in there with you
who has OBVIOUSLY taken A BATH in perfume this morning!
(Coughs)
I don't get it. What do these people think?
"Hmm, I don't smell so good. Let's spray some perfume!"
"On my neck. Left, right, middle back. On my wrists."
"Hmmm, on the middle of my arms. Oh, and my shoulders need to smell good too!"
"And my chest."
"And of course my back because I want to leave a nice smell."
"Also, my legs need to smell good. And, my feet!"
"My feet need to smell good too!"
"Oh, and my hair! So I can wave it around and have people smell my good smell."
"Ok, and some more on my neck. Left, right, middle, back."
"Just to make sure people can smell it!"
...............
Is that what they do? What...I.... What's happening, what's going on?
Why don't these people have the decency to keep their smell to themselves and their loved ones?
Do these people not realise that people get headaches from their perfume?
That there are people who don't like perfume.
And even, that there are people who are allergic to perfume!
That's not how you wear perfume, ok?
Really, three sprays on your neck and chest and one on your wrists MAX is enough. ENOUGH!
LORD JEZUS HAVE MERCY!
And that's a wrap for today!
Come back next Friday because I upload a video every Friday.
How do you feel about wearing to much perfume?
Do you have some stories about people wearing too much perfume?
Let me know in the comments below!
Thanks for subscribing if you have and I'll see you next week!
And just remember; three sprays really is enough.
You smell good and other people can be happy puppies! WROOF!