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Heya playas, has there ever been a time where you felt so angry that you just didn't know
how to handle yourself? Some times you end up saying or doing something that you regret
but the worst part about it is that the anger goes unresolved. Well after reading Thich
Nhat Hanh's book on anger, I've learn a thing or two about how to cool those flames. This
is The Josh Speaks. You're watching The Josh Speaks. Most people think of anger as a result
of something that happened but I want you to look at anger in a little bit of a different
way. Anger doesn't just stem from a singular action, it's built up from how we choose to
live our lives. The food we eat, the media that we watch and the stress that we put on
ourselves are all part of the process. We live in a culture where we're consuming things
non-stop without taking time to be mindful about each and every one of them. The next
time you sit and eat a meal, try to focus on what your body is doing. Feel the food
in your mouth, your hand on the fork and experience every part of that moment. Being mindful when
you do anything will help calm you down and will help you control your anger. When people
get angry they spend all of their time trying to making their point to the other person
but spend no time listening to what's being said. And I don't mean when you think you're
having a logical argument, I mean actually listening to the words that the person is
choosing to use to express how they feel. When a person is angry, they're suffering.
And your first instinct is to punish them because you feel they've made you suffer too.
Most of the time people fight and then walk away without ever stopping to offer compassion.
This can be one of the hardest things for people to do because they aren't practicing
mindfulness techniques to help them understand what's going on. In this book, Thich Nhat
Hanh shares several different mantras that you and your partner can use to help quell
each other's flames. We often think that anger is something bad and that you shouldn't feel
it but that's simply not true. Anger is same as Happiness or Sadness or Joy. All of these
emotions are real, but it's when we let these emotions get tied up with our ego that we
forget that they are what connects us to the world. By being compassionate with the person
that you're speaking to, you'll help them work on their anger as well. It doesn't always
mean that you have to solve everything in that moment, be aware of what made you angry
and agree with your partner to talk about it when you both feel ready to do so. It could
a day, a week or even a month. Just make sure to set aside that time to work towards hearing
each other out. If you find yourself getting enraged understand those feelings and breath
along with it's rhythm. Thich Nhat Hanh points out that anger is like a fan that's been turned
off. You should allow it to continue to spin until it's finally reached its state of complete
calmness. Once you've recognized your anger and are willing to listen to your partner,
practice active listening which means to just hear them out without saying anything. Some
people think that by yelling or punching a pillow it allows you to release your anger
but it also depletes you of the energy that you need to understand it. Letting out all
that stress feels good but it doesn't let you fix the situation with your partner. Without
communication, no real understanding is possible. Acting out of anger is a sign that you're
suffering, so work with your partner to resolve that anger peacefully. What do you guys think
though, what's one thing that you want to start doing to help you calm your anger? Leave
your creative comments below and we'll talk about it. I think Thich Nhat Hanh really opens
up your mind in this book not just to anger but to bringing yourself to a better state
of enlightenment. To quote Prince Zuko imitating General Iroh from Avatar the Last Airbender,
"You must look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your
true self reveal itself." As always guys, love and peace. Hey thanks for watching. If
you're new to the channel make sure to hit the subscribe button below. I make new videos
every week on a range of different topics including self help, dating, philosophy and
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