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Hey, what's up GG (guys and girls)? CouilleBleu's back today to play...
Here are the runes, masteries, skill distribution and items that you'll need to boom boom chika boom boom the enemy team until they can't handle your milky stick anymore.
The very first thing you must do is show your opponent that you're not scared of wasting all your blue *** just to prevent that fatherfucker from getting any creep kill.
Because of that, the enemy will cry like a baby and she will verbally abuse her jungler until he comes to gank you,
but don't worry about it because your runes and masteries are here to transform you into a tanky *** champion.
And, even if they manage to penetrate your health bar a bit, you can just use your Healing Shout to stay in lane forever, no problem!
However, if you're aiming to get some kills, all you need to do is make your opponent think you're an uber bad noob by missing your Ground Pound and your Headbutt skills on purpose.
After that, you just need to wait until these little influenced kids approach your tower to send them there with your trademark Ground Pound-Headbutt combo.
When you get a few levels and a Sunfire Cape, you can use the previous combo again and again until you send that cute little demon to hell.
Sidenote : that item is excellent to counter take a buff from your teammate by making it seem like an accident.
If he brings his mini facebook fuckfriend to gank you and he tries to hug the wall to avoid you, you have to show him that no one can escape this Dragon Ball Super Cow Machine.
After sending your foe to the graveyard, you can easily destroy a turret by using your Kaioken skill to gain even more attack damage.
And after that after, you can bully the other lanes by buttfucking a little innocent girl and,
of course, to send her knight in shiny armor to the other world like a boss since you only suffer peanut damage from the enemy tower.
Trust me. Not even Miss Jungle 2014 will be able to escape your marvelous foursome because your CC is way too ri-di-***-lus. Get it.
When you get these two items, you will become a huge tank that will be able to receive the love from the whole enemy team for a freaking long time before you take a trip to the steakhouse.
You think that's tanky? Just wait until you use your Kaioken skill and you'll think that the other team is full of little rats that tickle you,
so you can stand between them and your allies to create a meat wall to prevent your babies from getting killed.
The sad thing is, being super tanky is simply stupid because you can't deal any real damage, so you will take a whole year before being able to kill a squishy baby boy.
What's more? If you send a gift to your teammates and they are, like, you know, too slow to react, well you're pretty much *** in the ***.
To rectify this abomination, you must absolutely definitely really take this item combo to wreck the battlefield like a real champion.
See? Not only you can survive the assault of your assailants, but you can also punch them in the face until their mothers can't recognize them anymore.
Once upon a time, a woman tried to suck Alistar's *** to feed her child with milk.
The big cow, a great gentleman, let her do as she pleases.
However, she took way too long to finish the job, and Alistar couldn't take it anymore.
He decided to give her a little lesson.
That's it for today, people!
Don't forget to check out my channel for more boring League of Legends videos.
Feel free to leave a comment in any language you want, but I'll only answer those in English and in French because I'm a racist fuckabish.
Ciaossu!