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Hello and welcome to today's meditation. If you're listening to this than you've
made a match on Tinder
Good job!
Now you're ready to go on your first date. So close your eyes, relax and take a
deep breath in and out. It's important to remember that your date won't look like their picture
and that's OK cause you don't look like yours either.
Breath in confidence.
Breath conversation topics.
Don't try too hard. It will make you seem desperate. Be yourself but be a version of yourself that your
date will like, so maybe try a little. Keep your heart and mind open because this could
be the one. Or they could be a total psychopath so, you know, be careful.
Swipe left
Swipe right.
Congraduations you've matched with the Universe.
Oh, excuse me.
[Checks phone]
Oh, ***!
Not again!
Dammit.
Okay, well sometimes the universe has other plans for you. Maybe your date will cancel
on you and that's OK. Breath in acceptance. Breath out the expectations of ever finding love.
Ignore the nagging voice of your mother asking when you'll get married.
Obviously not today, mom. Picture in your mind the Netflix series that you're going
to be binge watching tonight alone, with your cat. Is it "House of Cards"?
Maybe it's Daredevil.
You won't die alone. You won't die alone. You won't--
Excuse me!
[Crying VERY loudly.]
I'm gonna be on Tinder for the rest of my life! Or worse Coffee Meets Bagel.
So by now you're choosen a series. Oh, Narcos. Good choice!
So put on sweatpants, order a pizza and relax because you're doing you tonight.
Isn't that right, Mister Whiskers?
Cat yelling.
What, no, no scratching.
That's not nice! That's not good behavior.
Just let me love you!