Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
[MUSIC]
BAILIFF, WILL YOU PROCEED?
STATE YOUR NAME PLEASE.
MILO T. LAFFERTY.
MR. LAFFERTY, DO YOU HAVE ANY LEGITIMATE REASON
THAT MIGHT EXCUSE YOU FROM JURY DUTY?
YES I DO, YOUR HONOR.
NOT ONLY DO I SUPPORT MY FAMILY,
BUT MY SISTER AND BROTHER-IN-LAW LIVE WITH US.
BUDDY, YOU GOT A COUPLE NICKELS, A DIME?
SHH.
COURT'S IN SESSION, PLEASE LOWER YOUR VOICE.
OKAY.
DO YOU HAVE ANY CHANGE I CAN BORROW FOR THE PARKING METER,
A COUPLE NICKELS OR DIMES?
WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE?
JUDGE, I NEED SOME MONEY FOR THE PARKING METER
AND MY PARTNER'S DOWN THERE BY THE TRUCK,
AND WE AIN'T GOT NO CHANGE.
I MUST ASK YOU TO PLEASE BE QUIET
OR REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THIS COURT.
GIVE THAT TO THE JUDGE, TELL HIM I CAN'T MAKE IT.
JUST A MINUTE.
ARE YOU FRED G. SANFORD?
RIGHT.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE REPORTING FOR JURY DUTY.
YEAH, BUT SEE, I GOT A BUSINESS TO RUN,
I HAVE A JUNKYARD AND IF I'M NOT THERE IT'LL RUST.
HAVE A SEAT AND WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE CALLED.
OUCH.
MOVE THAT CAST OUT THE WAY.
PST, PST, HEY CAL.
CAL.
DON'T YOU HIT ME, I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT.
BE QUIET.
[SHOUTS]
DON'T SHUSH ME.
YOU BE QUIET.
TRYING TO GET OUT OF JURY DUTY.
YOU AIN'T GONNA GET OUT OF THIS,
AIN'T NO WAY.
SINCE MY BACK INJURY, I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN ABLE
TO WORK FULL TIME.
I UNDERSTAND, MR. LAFFERTY.
THIS MAN IS EXCUSED FROM JURY DUTY.
THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR.
YOU WATCH, I'LL GET AWAY WITH IT.
COURT CALLS TO THE STAND, MR. FRED G. SANFORD.
RIGHT HERE, YOUR BAILIFF-SHIP.
WOULD YOU APPROACH THE BENCH PLEASE?
MAYBE THIS KIND HEAVYSET GENTLEMAN
COULD GIVE ME A HAND.
AIN'T NO WAY, PARTNER, I AIN'T GONNA GET INVOLVED
IN THIS CRAZY SCHEME OF YOURS.
YOUNG MAN.
YO.
ARE YOU REFUSING TO LEND A HELPING HAND
TO ONE OF OUR SENIOR CITIZENS?
NO, SIR, YOUR HONOR.
I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR THIS.
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMS LOUDER]
DON'T TELL ME--
I AIN'T DOING THAT.
DON'T MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF.
I'M AIN'T GONNA MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF. YES YOU ARE TOO.
[GAVEL POUNDING]
THANK YOU KIND SIR.
LEFT HAND ON THE BIBLE, PLEASE, RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND.
DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH,
AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH?
COULD YOU REPEAT THAT?
MR. SANFORD.
I DO.
DO YOU HAVE ANY LEGITIMATE REASON THAT MIGHT EXCUSE YOU
FROM JURY DUTY?
ABSOLUTELY NOT, I'M READY TO GO, YOUR HONOR,
TO DO MY DUTY AS A CITIZEN.
VERY GOOD.
YOU GOT ANY BATTERIES UP THERE, JUDGE?
BATTERIES?
I THINK MY PACEMAKER IS TRYING TO SLOW DOWN ON ME.
THERE IT GOES.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, NEVERMIND.
TO HEAR YOU TELL IT, YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE
IN THE VERY BEST OF HEALTH.
THAT'S TRUE, YOUR HONOR.
I MEAN, I'VE BEEN HAVING HEADACHES, AND BACKACHES,
AND DIZZY SPELLS, AND BLACKOUTS.
AND EARLY THIS MORNING, I COUGHED UP A HAIRBALL.
I'M SURPRISED YOU GOT HERE AT ALL.
ALL RIGHT, MR. SANFORD, I'M GOING TO EXCUSE YOU
FROM JURY DUTY.
[GAVEL POUNDING]
THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR.
OH, MR. SANFORD.
[GAVEL POUNDING]
I SHOULD REMIND YOU THAT IF I FIND OUT
YOU'VE LYING ABOUT YOUR HEALTH,
I'LL LOCK YOU UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY.
--A MIRACLE.
WILL THE PROSECUTION PLEASE EXAMINE
THIS PROSPECTIVE JUROR?
NAME.
HOW IN THE HELL DO I KNOW? I AIN'T NEVER MET YOU.
I HAVE IT HERE, FRED G. SANFORD.
RIGHT.
SELF-EMPLOYED INDEPENDENT BUSINESSMAN.
TYCOON.
AGE 49.
MR. SANFORD, DO YOU BELIEVE IN CAPITAL PUNISHMENT?
ABSOLUTELY.
I BELIEVE EVERYONE IN THE NATION'S CAPITAL
SHOULD BE PUNISHED.
MR. SANFORD, DO YOU THAT A MAN LIKE THAT ONE OVER THERE
COULD STRANGLE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING
WITH HIS BARE HANDS IN COLD BLOOD?
I BELIEVE I'LL BE LEAVING.
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THIS ROOM WAS FULL OF KILLERS.
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS, YOUR HONOR.
I FIND THIS JUROR ACCEPTABLE.
VERY WELL.
THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY MAY NOW PROCEED.
MR. SANFORD, I'M THE ATTORNEY DEFENDING MR. TARGEONI.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING.
MR. SANFORD, DO YOU BELIEVE THAT A MAN'S RACE, HIS RELIGION,
OR THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN HAS ANYTHING TO DO
WITH HIS INNOCENCE OR GUILT?
ABSOLUTELY NOT, I ALWAYS JUDGE THEM BY THE EYES.
IF A MAN'S GOT SMALL BEADY EYES, THEY'RE GUILTY.
SIR, ARE YOU THE KIND OF MAN THAT BELIEVES AT ALL
ORIENTALS ARE SNEAKY?
NO.
THAT ALL POLISH PEOPLE ARE DUMB?
NO.
THAT ALL BLACKS ARE GOOD DANCERS?
YOU DAMN RIGHT.
[GAVEL POUNDING]
ALL RIGHT, YOUR HONOR,
I GUESS I FIND THIS JUROR ACCEPTABLE.
HE SEEMS TO BE AN HONEST MAN.
FINE.
NOW LET'S GET ON WITH THE TRIAL.
MR. SANFORD AND THOSE OF YOU
WHO HAVE ALREADY BEEN SELECTED, YOU'LL REPORT HERE
TOMORROW MORNING.
ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS?
YES, JUDGE, HOW MUCH WE MAKING FOR THIS?
FIVE DOLLARS A DAY.
FIVE DOLLARS A DAY, THAT'S ALL?
THAT'S ALL THE STATE CAN AFFORD TO PAY.
WELL, HOW MUCH YOU MAKE?
MY SALARY IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
YOU MAKING MORE THAN US, AIN'T YOU?
PLUS WE PAY YOUR TRANSPORTATION,
FIVE CENTS A MILE FROM YOUR HOME.
FIVE CENTS A MILE FROM HOME?
WELL, JUDGE, I MIGHT BE A LITTLE LATE TOMORROW,
IT'S A LONG DRIVE IN FROM TIERRO DEL JUEGO.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY,
I KNOW THAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN HERE FOR FIVE GRUELING DAYS,
THEREFORE, I WILL KEEP MY CONCLUDING REMARKS SHORT
AND TO THE POINT.
MR. SANFORD, SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT,
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DOODLE IN COURT.
I NEVER.
HUH?
I NEVER.
NEVER?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY,
NICK TARGEONI IS A KILLER.
I ASK YOU TO RETURN A VERDICT
OF GUILTY OF *** IN THE FIRST DEGREE
AND RID SOCIETY OF THIS MAD DOG KILLER.
IS THAT SPINACH ON YOUR TEETH?
BEFORE THE JURY RETIRES, IS MY DUTY
TO REMIND YOU OF THE LAW.
IF THERE'S ANY REASONABLE DOUBT AS TO THE DEFENDANT'S GUILT,
YOU MUST NOT CONVICT HIM.
BUT WHAT HAPPENS IF HE IS CONVICTED, JUDGE?
WELL, THE GAS CHAMBER IS NOW LEGAL
OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA, SO THAT'S
ONE POSSIBLE ALTERNATIVE.
YOU MEAN BECAUSE OF US, HE CAN EITHER BE SET FREE
OR SENTENCED TO DEATH?
THAT'S CORRECT, MR. SANFORD, YOU ALL FACE A VERY
GRAVE RESPONSIBILITY.
A HUMAN LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS.
THREE GUILTY, FOUR GUILTY,
FIVE GUILTY, I TOLD YOU WE'D BE OUT OF HERE IN NO TIME.
SIX GUILTY, SEVEN GUILTY,
EIGHT GUILTY, NINE GUILTY,
TEN GUILTY, 11 GUILTY,
AND INNOCENT.
INNOCENT?
ALL RIGHT, WHO'S THE PRACTICAL JOKER?
FRED, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
'COURSE I CAN. WATCH THIS.
DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS TARGEONI IS INNOCENT?
I'M NOT JUST NOT SURE HE'S GUILTY.
OH, NONSENSE.
TARGEONI KILLED THAT MAN BECAUSE HE WAS JEALOUS OVER HIS WIFE.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
I SAW HIS WIFE ON THE WITNESS STAND,
NOBODY WOULD KILL OVER THAT MUCH UGLY.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN EVERYBODY.
CALM DOWN.
COME ON NOW, I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT AFTER WE'VE TALKED TO FRED
FOR A FEW MINUTES, HE'LL CHANGE HIS MIND.
NOW, LET'S JUST SIT QUIETLY AND REASON
THIS THING OUT TOGETHER.
GUILTY,
GUILTY,
GUILTY,
GUILTY,
GUILTY,
GUILTY,
INNOCENT.
THAT'S ME AGAIN.
FRED, WE HAVE BEEN OVER AND OVER THIS,
HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK THAT TARGEONI ISN'T GUILTY?
BECAUSE THERE WERE NO WITNESSES.
OKAY, SANFORD, IF YOU'RE SO SURE,
WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED IN THAT BAR?
YOU MEAN YOU WANT ME TO REENACT THE CRIME?
NO.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, I'D BE HAPPY TO.
OH, PLEASE.
YOU GOT TO GET OTHER OPINIONS.
NOW, HERE'S THE WAY I SEE IT.
NOW, LET ME FIX THIS.
NOW JUST SAY FOR INSTANCE, THIS IS THE LITTLE DINGY BAR
IN EL SEGUNDO.
AND TARGENINI WALKS IN
AND MEETS HIS EX-WIFE.
SHE'LL PLAY THE WIFE.
ANYTHING TO GET US OUT OF HERE.
JUST YOU--
I'M TARZENUKI.
WHEN I WALK INTO THIS BAR--
NICE PLACE.
NOW, I TURN AROUND AND I SEE MY EX-WIFE
SITTING IN A BOOTH WITH ANOTHER GUY.
THAT'S WIFE, MR. SANFORD, YOU SAID "EX-WIFE."
AT THE TRIAL THEY SAID HE HAD BEEN DIVORCED TWO YEARS.
YOU'RE RIGHT, FRED, GO ON, GO ON.
SO TETRISINI SITS DOWN IN THE BOOTH
WITH HIS EX-WIFE AND THIS OTHER GUY.
HE SAYS TO HIS EX-WIFE,
"HI BABY, HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN A LONG TIME.
"MAN, I'M REALLY SURPRISED TO SEE YOU WITH ANOTHER GUY,
UGLY AS YOU ARE""
I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS.
NO, NO, LET HIM FINISH, LET HIM FINISH.
THIS OTHER GUY SAYS,
"DON'T YOU CALL MY WOMAN UGLY."
AND TERAFINI SAID,
"IF YOU THINK THIS WOMAN IS GOOD LOOKING,
THEN YOU SHOULD BE A DOG CATCHER."
SO THAT MAKES THE OTHER GUY MAD.
HE SAID, "YOU WANT TO GO OUTSIDE WITH ME?"
AND TERIFUNI SAID, "YEAH, I'LL GO OUTSIDE WITH YOU
"ANYTIME. OUTSIDE, INSIDE, UPSIDE YOUR HEAD
ANY WAY YOU LIKE""
SO THE TWO OF THEM GO OUTSIDE INTO THE ALLEY.
AND WHEN THEY GET OUT INTO THE ALLEY,
TETRIMELLO, HE SAYS,
"LOOK, MAYBE I WAS A LITTLE HASTY IN THERE.
"YOU KNOW, I HADN'T SEEN MY WIFE IN A LONG TIME
AND I WAS A LITTLE JEALOUS""
THE OTHER GUY SAYS, "OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, PAL.
NO NEED YOU AND ME FIGHTING OVER OLD FISH FACE IN THERE""
THAT'S IT.
MR. SANFORD, WILL YOU GET TO THE POINT?
ALL RIGHT.
NOW, TOTARUNI SAID, "IT'S COLD AND I'M GOING ON INSIDE."
AND THE OTHER GUY SAYS, "WELL, I'LL WAIT OUT HERE.
WHY? BECAUSE I GOT TO GO TO THE TOILET."
BUT THERE'S NO MEN'S ROOM IN AN ALLEY.
MISS, WHEN YOU GOT TO GO REAL BAD,
IT'S A MEN'S ROOM ANYWHERE.
SO THIS OTHER GUY GOES OVER TO THE LAMP POST
AND HE'S MAD BECAUSE HIS SHOES ARE WET.
HE'S STANDING THERE ALONE AND A BURGLAR
SNEAKS UP BEHIND HIM.
GRABS HIM AROUND THE NECK AND IS CHOKING HIM,
AND HE'S STRUGGLING.
ACTUALLY HE'S NOT STRUGGLING, HE'S TRYING
TO PULL HIS ZIPPER UP.
THE ROBBER PANICS AND CHOKES HIM TO DEATH.
THEN HE TAKES THE WALLET AND DISAPPEARS
UP INTO THE ALLEY.
NOW WAIT A MINUTE, THEY NEVER SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT HIS WALLET MISSING.
THEY SAID THEY COULDN'T IDENTIFY HIM
SO SOMEONE MUST'VE STOLE HIS WALLET.
MR. SANFORD, ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS LOOK AT HIM AND YOU CAN SEE
THAT HE'S GUILTY.
SEE, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
NONE OF YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
TO BE PUSHED AROUND BECAUSE YOU'RE DIFFERENT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WELL, I'LL TRY TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.
NOW, SAY FOR INSTANCE YOU AND I ARE IN A LIQUOR STORE.
YOU'RE IN THERE TO GET A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAIGN AND I'M IN THERE
TO GET A BOTTLE OF WINE.
NOW, YOU PULL OUT A GUN AND STICK UP THE LIQUOR STORE
AND WE GO OUTSIDE AND THERE'S A COP.
YOU RUN ONE WAY AND I RUN THE OTHER WAY,
NOW, WHO IS THE COP GOING TO CHASE,
ME OR YOU?
I DON'T KNOW.
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.
THE GUY WITH THE PERMANENT SUNTAN AND THE RIPPLE.
COME OFF IT, SANFORD.
YEAH, THAT'S JUST YOUR PERSONAL HANG UP.
I REALLY DON'T SEE WHAT THAT HAS TO DO WITH--OH NO.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
MY PURSE.
IT HAD $200 IN IT, IT'S GONE.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING.
YOUR PURSE IS MISSING?
IT MUST BE, IT WAS UNDER MY CHAIR
JUST MINUTES AGO.
I DON' T SEE IT ANYWHERE.
WELL, THEN THE PERSON WHO TOOK IT HAS GOT TO BE
RIGHT IN THIS ROOM.
WHAT Y'ALL LOOKING AT ME FOR?
WELL, FRED, YOU ARE SITTING NEXT TO HER
AND WE KNOW THE TWO OF YOU
DIDN'T GET ALONG.
AND OF ALL THE PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM,
YOU PROBABLY NEED THE MONEY THE MOST.
I WANT MY PURSE.
WE KNOW YOU TOOK IT.
SEE THERE?
Y'ALL SAYING I'M GUILTY JUST BECAUSE I LOOK GUILTY.
BUT ANYBODY HERE COULD'VE USED THAT MONEY.
NOW, TAKE FOR INSTANCE YOU, BUDDY.
NOW, YOU'RE A MARRIED MAN, BUT ALL WEEK LONG
YOU'VE BEEN MAKING KISSY LIPS WITH, WITH, WITH, WITH HER.
I KNOW YOU NEED THE MONEY 'CAUSE YOU SHOULD
HAVE YOUR EYES EXAMINED.
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU, YOU CROOK?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU TURNING THOSE EXPENSE SLIPS
FOR YOUR AUTOMOBILE.
SO WHAT?
I SAW YOU GETTING OFF THE BUS.
EVERYBODY DOES THAT.
RIGHT ON.
ANYBODY HERE COULD'VE BEEN A CROOK AND IT GOT NOTHING TO DO
WITH THE WAY YOU LOOK.
WELL, MAYBE WE HAVE BEEN A LITTLE HASTY.
I THINK WE ALL OWE FRED AN APOLOGY.
SORRY, SORRY, SORRY.
BUT I STILL CAN'T FIND MY PURSE.
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU APOLOGIZED BECAUSE I WAS REALLY HURT.
BUT I PROVED MY POINT THAT LOOKS DON'T HAVE NOTHING
TO DO WITH BEING GUILTY.
BY THE WAY, HERE'S YOUR PURSE.
E JUY
WE HAVE, YOUR HONOR.
HAS THE JURY BEEN POLLED AND IS THIS VERDICT UNANIMOUS?
IT IS, YOUR HONOR.
WILL THE DEFENDANT RISE AND FACE THE JURY?
HOW FIND YOU, GUILTY OR NOT GUILTY?
WE, THE JURY, FIND THE DEFENDANT NOT GUILTY.
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
HEY, BUDDY, HOW YOU DOING?
HEY CAL.
ON BEHALF OF MY CLIENT, I REALLY WANT TO THANK YOU.
I HEARD THAT YOU WERE THE LONE JUROR THAT HELD OUT
FOR MY CLIENT'S INNOCENCE.
NO KIDDING.
YEAH, MR. SANFORD WAS THE ONE THAT CONVINCED
ALL THE OTHERS THAT PREJUDICE AND BIGOTRY HAVE NO PLACE
IN A COURT OF LAW.
ALL RIGHT, I'M PROUD OF YOU, FRED.
SANFORD.
NICK TARGEONI.
I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME GET OUT OF THIS JAM.
HEY, I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU MY APPRECIATION, HUH?
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO ACROSS THE ALLEY
TO THAT NICE LITTLE BAR FOR A DRINK?
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE HE STARTS AGAIN.
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY PEOPLESUPPORT TRANSCRIPTION & CAPTIONING.