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>>> TONIGHT ON "RED EYE."
>> COMING UP ON "RED EYE,"
WOULD SOCCER BE WATCHABLE IF
YOU FORCED AN ENTIRE CITY TO
PLAY AT ONCE?
WHAT IF YOU COULD USE YOUR
HANDS?
WHAT IF YOU COULD GET AWAY
WITH ***?
WE'LL SHOW YOU ONE TOWN WHO
HAD THE GUTS TO FIND OUT.
AND HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE VICE
PRESIDENT BIDEN ON AVERAGE TO
FINISH A DEEP DISH PIZZA?
>> 3.4 SECONDS.
THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A
MINUTE.
>> AND FINALLY #R BABY RED
SQUIRRELS THE MOST ADORABLE
DRINKING MILK, SLEEPING OR
FROR FROR -- FROLICKING WITH
FRIENDS?
NONE OF THESE STORIES ON "RED
EYE" TONIGHT.
>> LET'S WELCOME OUR GUESTS.
SHE DEFIES ALL LAWS OF SCIENCE
BY HAVING COLD HANDS AND A
COLD HEART.
THERE IS HER COLD HAND.
AND IT IS EXECUTIVE VICE
PRESIDENT OF DILIGENCE, TV'S
ANDY LEVY.
>> WHAT?
>> AND HE IS SO SMART THAT HE
POOPS MENSA MEMBERS.
WEEK NIGHTS AT 9:00 P.M.
EASTERN TIME ON FOX BUSINESS
NETWORK.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE IT.
>> DEMAND IT?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
I FORGOT THE SECOND PART OF
THAT.
HE ONCE KILLED A TERRORIST BY
BLINKING HIM TO DEATH.
IN EXTO ME, MIKE BAKER, FORMER
CIA OPERATIVE AND FOUNDER OF
DILIGENCE, DILIGENCE HAIR PRAY
AND DILIGENCE BRICK A BRACK.
FOR ALL OF YOUR COFFEE,
HAIRSPRAY AND BRICK A BRACK
NEEDS, THEY ARE ALREADY
SCATTERED OVER A BODY OF
WATER.
>> A BLOCK.
THE LEDE.
THAT'S THE FIRST STORY.
HEY, GREG, DO YOU HAVE AN
EXTRA MAT?
>> SO SWEET.
HE WILL PRENE ON A SCREEN.
IT IS DAY 830,SEX 339
>> HAVE TO PUSH THAT BUTTON.
TRAIT RUSS SWINE EDWARD
SNOWDEN WILL MAKE AN
APPEARANCE AT THE INTERACTIVE
FESTIVAL NEXT WEEK.
CHANGE THE NAME.
ORGANIZERS SAY SNOWDEN, IF
THAT'S HIS REAL NAME, WHO FLED
INTO THE ARMS OF HIS BFF,
VLADIMIR PUTIN AFTER
PERMANENTLY HARMING OUR
NATIONAL SECURITY WILL APPEAR
VIA RAW MOAT -- VIA REMOTE
ABOUT SPYING ON THE TECH
COMMUNITY.
UH READY COULD TOGETHER
CONFERENCE WEBSITE, ATTENDEES
WILL HEAR DIRECTLY ON HIS
BELIEFS ON WHAT THE TECH
COMMUNITY MUST DO TO SECURE
THE PRIVATE DATA OF THE
BILLIONS OF PEOPLE WHO RELY ON
THE TOOLS AND SERVICES THAT WE
BUILD.
WONDER IF HE WILL HAVE
ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT KIEV.
I BET OH MY GOD! OH, WE ARE GOG
TO WATCH THIS.
THIS IS SPECIAL.
>> THE TRAIN WAS ACTUALLY
SAYING THAT ABOUT HIM.
BAKER, I GO TO YOU BECAUSE YOU
ARE A BIG FAN OF SNOWDEN.
HOW EXCITED ARE YOU?
HAVE YOU BOOKED A TICKET?
>> I BOOKED A TICKET FOR
MOSCOW.
SUDDENLY SNOWDEN HAS BECOME A
DEEP THINKER, RIGHT?
WE HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT
SNOWDEN WAS BASICALLY A
SYSTEMS ADMINISTRATOR AT
BEST.
HE IS NOT AN ENGINEER.
SUDDENLY HE IS THE TOP THINKER
ON PRIVACY ISSUES TODAY.
YOU KNOW MY FEELINGS ABOUT
THIS AND MY VICE PRESIDENT OF
DILIGENCE SITTING NEXT TO ME.
WE TEND TO DIFFER ON THESE
ISSUES.
I AM GOING TO KEEP A VERY
LEVEL HEAD WHEN HE STARTS
SPOUTING THE PROBLEM BLEEP [.
SPOUTING THE [BLEEP].
>> YOU STILL WANT HIM
EXECUTED, DON'T YOU?
>> I DON'T WANT HIM EXECUTED.
I WANT HIM TO FACE JUSTICE FOR
WHAT HE HAS DONE.
>> HE HAS GOTTEN SOFT.
>> ALL OF THAT TALK, THE GUY
DESERVES TO BE IN COURT HERE
IN THE U.S.
>> I HAPPEN TO AGREE WITH
YOU.
A FOOD COURT MAYBE.
MIKE HAS A POINT.
HE IS REALLY NOT AN EXPERT AND
THAT MEANS THEY ARE HAVING HIM
ON FOR MORE OF A NOVELTY
ASPECT.
>> WHEN I HAVE HEARD THE GUY
TALK, HE IS PRETTY
INTELLIGENT.
IF IN FACT HE IS ALL OF THESE
THINGS AND THE FACT THAT HE
APPARENTLY SNUCK OFF WITH THE
CROWN JEWELS IS AN DEMENT OF
THE THE -- AN INDICTMENT OF
THE NSA AND THE REST OF THE
ORGANIZATIONS THAT WERE
SUPPOSED TO BE STOPING THEM.
IF HE IS NOBODY AND HE WALKED
OUT WITH THE CROWN JEWELS WHAT
DOES THAT SAY ABOUT THE
COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE?
>> THIS IS BETWEEN HAVING
ACCESS WHICH YOU DO AS A
SUCCESS STEMS ADMINISTRATOR.
>> I DIGRESS.
I DIGRESS.
LET ME TRY THIS OTHER THING.
>> I AM REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE
RIGHT NOW.
>> I DON'T HAVE TO CALL THE
GUY A HERO.
THE REALITY IS I THINK WHAT HE
DID WAS OBVIOUSLY VERY
IMPORTANT.
WE HAD A VERY FUNDAMENTAL --
>> WAS THAT A FUNDAMENTAL
DISCOURSE ABOUT PROGRAMS THAT
NO ONE KNEW ABOUT APPARENTLY
WHICH THE EFFICACY AND THE
EFFICIENCY IS NOW ON THE
TABLE.
DO YOU HAVE A METADATA PROGRAM
THAT COST $2 TRILLION?
>> IS THE SHOW OVER?
WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN WRONG,
SIR?
>> MAYBE I HAVE TO BOW TO YOUR
LONG YEARS AND IN
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPORTANCE
OF SECRETS.
>> YOU ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW
WHAT I KNOW.
>> LEVEL HEAD, LEVEL HEAD.
>> I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO
START.
I AM NOT GOING TO GO DOWN THAT
PATH.
AS I ALWAYS SAY, IT IS NOT
GOOD TO GET A MOTIVE ABOUT
THESE THINGS.
YOU ARE RIGHT AND IT IS -- GOD
BLESS THESE DISCUSSIONS.
I DON'T BUY THE CRAP ABOUT
HOW, HE IS IMPORTANT JUST FROM
THE FACT HE GENERATED THE
CONVERSATION.
>> I WOULD OF ALL OF THE LEAKS
WE LOOKED AT, POINT OUT A
SPECIFIC EXAMPLE.
I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE
CRIMES.
>> POINT OUT WHERE THE NSA WAS
BREAKING THE LAW.
GIVE ME AN INNED CATION OF
WHERE THEY WERE -- AN
INDICATION OF WHERE THEY WERE
BREAKINGHE LAW.
>> WE HAD A COURT JUDGE WHO
SAID THE NSA WAS INVOLVED IN
SYSTEMATIC OVERREACHES.
>> OH MY GOD!
>> THE PRESIDENT AND MANY
OTHER LEVELS OF THE
ADMINISTRATION HAVE SUGGESTED
OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT THE
NSA -- LISTEN, IF YOU DON'T
TRUST THIS GUY, FOR EXAMPLE,
THEN THE NOTION OF GIVING HIM
A MASSIVE ORGANIZATION TO
OPERATE THAT HAS THE ABILITY
TO COLLECT AS MUCH INFORMATION
AS THEY LIKE WITHOUT ANY SORT
OF ACCOUNTABILITY WHATSOEVER
SOUNDS LIKE A TERRIBLE IDEA.
>> WHAT IS A FIZA COURT.
I SPENT 17 YEARS IN AN
ORGANIZATION LONG ENOUGH TO
UNDERSTAND THAT BELIEVE IT OR
NOT, IT IS NOT LIKE THE
FEATURE FILMS.
WE HAVE THE MOST TRANSPARENT
INTEL COMMUNITY IN THE
ENTIRE --
>> WE KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
ABOUT WHAT IT COSTS.
>> THERE ARE THINGS THAT WE
DIDN'T KNOW THE PROGRAM
EXISTED.
>> IF YOU WANT AN OPEN SOCIETY
--
>> I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
>> YOU ARGUED FOR THE FACT
THAT WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT.
>> OF COURSE WE ARE DOING
THINGS WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT.
>> I AM SUGGESTING THEY ARE
DOING PROGRAMS LEAK THESE AND
THEY CANNOT EVEN SUGGEST ARE
EFFECTIVE.
>> YOU KNOW WHY THE CIA IS
SUCH A GOOD SCAPEGOAT?
>> THEY GO ON 60 MACHINES 1K3*
HOST INFOMERCIALS?
>> YOU CAN'T HAVE A
CONVERSATION WITH SOMEBODY WHO
IS NOT UNDERSTANDING HOW
OPERATIONS WORK.
>> HANG OUT FOR 15 MINUTES
AFTER THE SHOW.
>> THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC.
>> INVITE ME ON TO YOUR SHOW.
THAT WOULD BE A GREAT TIME.
>> I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE YOU.
>> BUY A REMOTE.
>> WE DON'T GO OUT.
WE DON'T TALK ABOUT OUR
SUCCESSES.
YOU KNOW WHY WE DON'T TALK
ABOUT OUR SUCCESSES?
YOU DON'T REVEAL THAT
[BLEEP].
WHEN SOMEBODY SMACKS YOU
AROUND, THERE IS A PATH
BETWEEN THE AGENCY AND CAPITOL
HILL.
IT IS UP AND BACK AND ALL OF
THE [BLEEP] THAT PELOSI, DO
YOU KNOW HOW WELL BRIEFED THEY
ARE?
IT IS LIKE THE IDEA THE
UKRAINE WAS A CIA UH FAIL YET
BECAUSE -- AFFILIATE BECAUSE
OF ALL OF THE INFORMATION IN
THE DAILY BRIEF.
>> I AM NOT RESU WHAT THIS HAS
TO DO WITH THE PARTICULAR
CONVERSATION.
>> I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS A
LONGTIME.
I TEND TO RAM BELL.
>> HE IS OLD.
>> WHO GETS THE POINT THERE?
>> THAT WAS FUN.
>> I AM GOING TO MAKE ONE
POINT.
>> THAT WAS LIKE A MORE TON
DOWNEY EPISODE YOU SEE ON
YOUTUBE.
WE ARE ALL FRIENDS HERE.
>> I AM COMPLETELY SPENT.
SHOULD WE DO ANOTHER SEGMENT
ON SOMETHING ELSE?
>> I CAN KIND OF MAKE THIS
WORK.
SO THE THING ABOUT THIS
MEETING THAT IS HAPPENING IS
NONE OF THIS IS GOING TO BE
BROUGHT UP.
THE PEOPLE WHO ARE THERE ARE
GOING TO GO WHAT IS IT LIKE TO
BE IN RUSSIA?
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?
ARE YOU LONELY?
>> HOW IS THE WEED THERE?
>> YOU KNOW THE THING THAT
KIND OF GETS ME --
>> HE IS A CELEBRITY.
>> THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
IT IS NOT ABOUT WHAT HE DID.
IT IS ABOUT WHO HE IS.
SOUTHWEST SOUTHWEST WILL
CONSIDER ANYTHING THAT
UNDERMINDS AMERICA AS COOL.
THEY WOULD NEVER HAVE SOMEBODY
FROM THE MILITARY THERE, BUT
THEY WILL HAVE SOMEBODY WHO
UNDERMINES --
>> HE IS QUITE CONFIDENT.
I WILL BE AT SOUTH BY
SOUTHWEST.
I AM HEADED OUT.
I WON'T BE SPEAKING, BUT I
WILL BE THERE, AROUND.
>> INTERESTING.
>> IS IT TOO LATE FOR YOU AND
I TO BE THERE AT THE SAME
TIME?
THEY WILL LOVE ME.
>> YOU CAN ACTUALLY START
KILLING HIPSTERS.
IT IS LIKE IT GETS SMALLER AND
SMALLER AND YOU CAN SEE MIKE
BAKER WANDERING AROUND WITH A
GRIN ON HIS FACE.
>> IT IS LIKE EPISODE WHERE
THEY GO AFTER THE HIPPIES.
>> ARE YOU TAKING THE DAY OFF
TO FLY TO AUSTIN?
>> WELL, WE WILL GATHER AROUND
THE COMPUTER AND WATCH THE
LIVE STREAM.
LOOK, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER
SNOWDEN IS PART OF THE
DISCUSSION AND I SORT OF AGREE
WITH YOU THAT MAYBE HE IS NOT
THE MOST QUALIFIED PERSON TO
BE PART OF THE PANEL.
IT IS AN IMPORTANT TOPIC AND
WE NEED TO HELP AVOID MASS
SURVEILLANCE AND NOT TECH THAT
MAKES US MORE EASILY
SURVEILED.
>> COULD WE DO BOTH?
>> I DON'T WANT MORE MASS
SURVEILLANCE, MIKE.
>> THIS IS WHERE YOU AND I
DIFFER ABOUT THE DIRECTION TO
TAKE DILIGENCE.
>> YOU ARE SO EMOTIONAL THAT
YOU DON'T KNOW I AM KIDDING.
>> WE PASSED THINGS OUT AT
BOARD MEETINGS AT DILIGENCE
AND AT SOME POINT YOU HAVE TO
UNDERSTAND THAT I AM THE
FUTURE.
RUT PAST, OLD MAN.
>> BEFORE WE MOVE ON BECAUSE
THEY ARE TIRED OF THIS TOPIC,
AREN'T YOU WORRIED THAT THE
PEOPLE YOU AGREE WITH ARE
PEOPLE WHO ARE NOTORIOUSLY
CRITICAL OF AMERICA IN ALL
FACETS?
THEY DON'T LIKE ANYTHING WE
DO.
THEY WERE CYNICAL AND
SKEPTICAL OF THE ANTI-TERROR
STUFF WE DO.
AREN'T YOU WORRIED THEY DO IT
FOR DIFFERENT REASONS?
>> AND I WON'T SPEAK TO THOSE
PEOPLE.
ANYBODY CAN BE RIGHT
SOMETIMES.
IF THEY AGREE WITH ME THEY ARE
LIKELY RIGHT.
>> THAT'S A GOOD ANSWER.
>> I AM GOING TO STEAL IT.
>> THEY ARE USING POT TO TIE
THE KNOT.
IT IS DAY 420 OF --
>> EVERYBODY IS YELLING AT
EACH OTHER.
THERE IS CRAZINESS GOING ON
HERE.
I KNOW I AM ON.
THAT'S PART OF THE CHARM IS
THAT YOU --
>> DID SOMEBODY JUST SAY YOU
ARE ON?
>> YES, ARE YOU ON CAMERA.
I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR ONE
DAY.
>> I CAN'T BELIEVE THE SHOW IS
NOT OVER.
I THOUGHT THE SHOW WAS OVER.
>> ARE WE TWO HOURS TONIGHT?
WHAT IS GOING ON?
>> COLORADO -- FOLLOW MY
FINGER.
YES, ARE YOU -- YOU ARE FINE.
COLORADO LEGALIZED MARIJUANA
ON JANUARY 1st AND NOW
COUPLES ARE INCLUDING WEED
WHEN THEYED WITH.
SOME ARE CONSIDERING HAVING
VAPING STATIONS OR DRUGGEN
FUSED EDIBLE TREATS.
ONE PLANNER IS HAVING THE MEN
REPLACE THEIR FLOWER IN THEIR
LAPEL WITH A CANNIBUS BUD AND
A PIPE BEING GIVEN AS A GIFT
TO THE WEDDING PARTY.
TOASTS AND OPEN BARS ARE
STANDARD AT A WEDDING.
NOW WE CAN CONSUME CANNIBUS AS
LONG AS THE EVENT IS PRIVATE.
>> SHE TRASHED.
MIKE, YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED
SEVEN TIMES.
FOUR WOMEN AND TWO MEN AND A
PARRAKEET.
DOES THIS MAKE YOU WANT TO GO
FOR NUMBER 8?
>> WHAT WOULD NUMBER 8 BE?
IT WOULD BE LIKE A CAMEL.
>> IT WOULD BE A HALF ROBOT
AND A HALF CHIN CHILL LAW.
>> A ROCHILLA.
HERE IS WHERE I STAND ON THE
WHOLE POT THING.
I BELIEVE THIS IS LEGITIMATE
MEDICAL USE.
IT IS IMPORTANT THAT BE
AVAILABLE.
I AM NOT A BIG FAN AND I WAS
JUST OUT IN NORTHERN
CALIFORNIA AND WE DID A STORY
FOR MY SHOW ON THE TRAVEL
CHANNEL.
>> WHAT IS IT CALLED?
>> "AMERICAN CLASSIFIED."
WE ARE GETTING READY TO DO THE
SECOND SEASON.
WE WERE OUT THERE DOING A
STORY ABOUT THE COMMUNITIES.
THEYAV HE BASED SO MUCH OF
THEIR ECONOMY ON POT FOR SO
LONG.
I CAME AWAY WITH THAT WITH
REAL CONFLICTED VIEW ON THE
WHOLE IDEA.
FOR AWHILE WHEN COLORADO WAS
GOING THE DIRECTION THEY WERE
GOING I THOUGHT, WHO CARES?
THERE ARE BIGGER ISSUES TO
DEAL WITH.
I THINK WE HAVE TO WAIT AWHILE
AND SEE HOW IT PLAYS OUT IN
THE COMMUNITY.
AS FAR AS WEDDINGS GO, YOU
WANT TO SMOKE POT AT YOUR
WEDDING GO FOR IT.
>> THAT WAS A LONG WAY TO GET
TO SURE, WHY NOT?
JOANNE, ONE DAY YOU ARE GOING
TO FIND THAT SPECIAL MAN AND
HE WILL COME ALONG AND SWEEP
YOU OFF YOUR FEET.
WILL IT EXCITE YOU TO KNOW HE
WILL WANT TO BE *** AT YOUR
WEDDING?
>> I WILL BE RIGHT THERE WITH
HIM.
NOTHING SAYS LOVE LIKE THE
GANGE.
THEY HAVE LIKE THE HAND ROLLED
CIGARS AND A LOT OF PEOPLE DO
THAT AT WEDDINGS.
NOW A ROLLED JOINT STATION CAN
BE THERE.
IT IS YOUR WEDDING.
DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.
UNDERSTAND THAT MAYBE SOME
PEOPLE WON'T WANT TO COME TO
YOUR WEDDING WHICH WILL BE
GREAT.
YOU WON'T SPEND AS MUCH
MONEY.
>> THEY WILL LEAVE THEIR KIDS
AT HOME.
>> I WORRY ABOUT THE PHOTOS.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
>> THE WEDDING PHOTOS YOU WILL
SHOW YOUR KIDS.
>> IT IS LIKE, I DON'T
REMEMBER THIS AT ALL.
>> YOU CAN SAY THE SAME THING
ABOUT OPEN BARS.
PEOPLE GET WASTED AT
WEDDINGS.
>> THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING
TO REGRET WHEN YOU DO
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
I CANNOT IMAGINE HAVING A
CHRONIC-THEMED WEDDING AND I
SUSPECT WHEN YOU LOOK AT THOSE
PHOTOS AFTERWARDS YOU WILL
REGRET SOME ASPECT OF THAT.
I HOPE THIS DOESN'T CATCH ON
AND I SUSPECT IT IS AN EXOTIC
NATURE OF A SMOKING WEED AT
THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT.
>> THAT'S WHAT GETS ME CRAZY
ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING.
I KNOW YOU ARE NEVER GETTING
MARRIED.
IT IS NOT IN THE STARS FOR
YOU.
DYING LONELY IS WHAT YOU WANT
TO DO.
THIS MAKES WEDDINGS ABOUT POT
SMOKING.
IT IS WHAT POT SMOKERS ALWAYS
DO EVERY ENDEAVOR THAT POT
SMOKERS GET INVOLVED WITH THEY
MAKE IT ABOUT THE POT
SMOKING.
>> YOU HAVE TO LEARN THROUGH
PROHIBITION YOU SHUT UP ABOUT
THE *** AND YOU DRINK.
THE POTHEADS HAVE TO SHUT UP
ABOUT THE POT.
>> THIS SOUNDS AWFUL JUST
BEING AROUND A BUNCH OF
STONERS.
WHETHER IT IS A WEDDING OR
ANYWHERE ELSE.
>> IT IS THE SAME THING WITH
DRUNKS.
>> AGREED.
AND IT WILL KILL THE TRADITION
OF THE BRIDE AND GROOM GETTING
TO TAKE HOME THE WEDDING
CAKE.
>> SO TRUE.
>> THE REAL VICTORY FOR POT
LEGALIZATION IS GOING TO BE
WHEN STONER CULTURE GOES
AWAY.
NOBODY HAS ***-THEMED
WEDDINGS.
IF YOU ARE BASING YOUR LIFE
AROUND A DRUG, YOU PROBABLY
HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT
DRUG.
IF YOU ARE ENJOYING THAT DRUG
SOCIALLY, YOU ARE PROBABLY NO
DIFFERENT THAN A SOCIAL
DRINKER.
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU.
THIS IS A NOVELTY THING.
IF POT LEGALIZATION BECOMES
MORE POPULAR THIS STUFF GOES
AWAY.
WILL IT GET RID OF THE STONER
CULTURE?
>> TO AN EXTENT IT WILL.
YOU WILL HAVE PEOPLE THAT JUST
LIKE TO SMOKE WEED SOMETIMES.
>> THE REAL DOWNSIDE OF THIS
IS THAT JAY LENO NO LONGER HAS
A SHOW.
THAT WEDDING CAKE JOKE WILL BE
USED TOMORROW.
>> HOW COME NOBODY BAKES
NICOTINE INTO FOODS?
YOU HAVE POT BROWN --
BROWNIES, WHY NOT NICOTINE
BROWNIES?
>> WELL CHOCOLATE HAS
CAFFEINE.
DO IT IN MODERATION.
>> I AM NEVER GETTING MY OWN
HEALTH SHOW.
>> YOU ARE SAYING IT IN A
MISERABLE WAY.
JUST EAT VEGETABLES.
EVERYTHING IN MODERATION.
>> I AM STILL WORKED UP ABOUT
THAT SNOWDEN THING.
I WANT TO HAVE THE JUICE NOW
BECAUSE I WANT TO BE BOUND
UP.
>> THESE CLEANSES, AREN'T THEY
REALLY JUST STARVATION?
AND ISN'T THAT WORSE THAN
TOXINS?
>> YES.
MY MOM IS ACTUALLY ONE OF
THESE PEOPLE.
I THINK
IDIOT.
>> A A MORON.
>> WE DISAGREE ON THIS.
IT IS BIZARRE TO ME.
WE LIVE IN AN ERA WHERE EVERY
SINGLE QUALITY OF LIFE
INDICATOR IMAGINABLE SUGGESTS
THAT LIFE IS KIND OF AWESOME.
WE LIVE A LONGTIME AND A VERY
HEALTHY LIFE.
HAVE A COOKIE.
I DON'T WANT ALKALINE WATER.
I DON'T WANT THIS NONSENSE
EXTRACT OF GRAPE NUT.
I AM GOING TO HAVE A CRONUT.
LEAVE ME ALONE.
>> PEOPLE ARE SO OBSESSED WITH
THEIR POOP NOW.
I HAVE TO HAVE MY BOWELS
CLEANED.
THEY THINK IT IS LIKE A
BASEMENT.
YOU KEEP STUFF IN YOUR
BASEMENT.
>> YOU CLEAN IT ONCE A YEAR.
TWICE A YEAR TOPS.
>> IT FEELS GREAT WHEN YOU
WAIT A LONGTIME TO CLEAN THAT
BASEMENT.
IT IS LIKE GIVING BIRTH TO A
CHOCOLATE MOUNTAIN.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT
MEANS EXCEPT, JOANNE, I FEEL
WEIRD GOING TO YOU.
>> HAVE I A CRAVING FOR
CHOCOLATE RIGHT NOW.
>> I HAVE JUST THE RIGHT
FILM.
HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?
WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THESE
CRAZES?
WOMEN ARE VULNERABLE ABOUT
THIS STUFF.
>> I AM ALL ABOUT THE
CLEANSE.
YOU KNOW HOW I DO IT?
ALCOHOL.
ALCOHOL KILLS EVERYTHING,
RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> GIVE ME, GIVE ME AND IT
WORKS ITSELF OUT.
YOU KNOW LIKE THE NEXT MORNING
AFTER BINGE DRINKING.
>> NO, ACTUALLY.
>> DOESN'T ANYBODY ELSE?
>> DOCTORS SAY SPIRITUAL
TOXINS LIKE LONELINESS AND
HOSTILITY ADD TO OUR WORSENING
HEALTH.
SO YOU ARE HOSTILE AND LONELY
WHICH MEANS ARE YOU A TOXIC
CESSPOOL.
>> I AM NOT HOSTILE.
>> A LITTLE JUICING WILL GET
THAT.
>> THE PROGRESSIVES ARE
USUALLY THE ONES TALKING ABOUT
THE CLEANSES.
I AM NOT ANTI-SCIENCE SO I
WILL SIDE WITH THE DOCTORS ON
THIS ONE.
THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF
ASTROLOGY AND IT IS JUNK.
>> YOU WILL GET A LOT OF
CHIROPRACTORS.
>> DID YOU CALL IT
CHIROPRACTY?
>> THEY ARE SENSITIVE --
>> I KNOW BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT
DOCTORS.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT IS
INTERESTING?
YOU NEVER HEAR ABOUT ORGANIC
FOOD FROM LIKE A HISPANIC BUS
DRIVER.
YOU HEAR IT FROM THE WHITE,
RICH BOARD HOUSEWIFE OF A
STOCKBROKER.
THOSE ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT
CAN AFFORD THE CRAP.
>> THE ACTOR.
>> I SAW ONE LADY AT A PARTY I
WAS AT.
>> GOOD FOR YOU.
>> EXACTLY.
>> DOES YOUR WIFE NOW?
>> SHE WAS STANDING RIGHT
THERE.
THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT THE
CLEANSING PROGRAM.
THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT THEY
GO SEVEN DAYS IN A ROW
DRINKING NOTHING BUT I FORGET
WHAT IT WAS.
WATER AND MAPLE SYRUP.
I REMEMBER LOOKED AND SAID
MRS. BUTTORSWORTH?
>> THEY SAID AFTER DAY THREE
YOU FEEL SPIRITUAL. NO, YOUR
BODY IS DYING.
YOU ARE SHUTTING DOWN.
YOU ARE HALLUCINATING.
>> SUCH A GOOD FEELING.
>> REMEMBER WHERE WE DID THAT
DIET?
GITMO.
>> WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK.
IT IS SILLY, JUST SILLY.
AND I WAS THE HEALTH EDITOR.
I EDITED MEN'S ALHETH.
I AM LIKE A DOCTOR.
>> MORE OF A DOCTOR THAN A
CHIROPRACTOR.
>> I HAVE MY BUSINESS CARD AND
IT ALLOWS ME TO CHECKUP ON
ANYBODY.
>> WHO HAS BT -- WHO HASN'T
BEEN NUDE?
>> HOW HARD IS IT TO FAKE YOUR
OWN DEATH TO CHEAT ON YOUR
TAXES?
MIKE BAKER, HOW I FAKED MY OWN
DEATH TO CHEAT ON MY TAXES.
AND A NEW REALITY SHOW, THE
STORY OF MIKE BAKER HE
INSISTED WE COVER.
>>> HE NOW LOOKS DOWN ON
SLEEPING AROUND.
ACTOR ASHTON KUTCHER HAS -- AS
OPPOSED TO THE ASHTON KUTCHER
WHO IS NOT ONE.
HE HAS CAUGHT A CASE OF
MONOGAMY AND NO LONGER ENJOYS
ONE NIGHTSTANDS.
IN AN INTERVIEW WITH "MEN'S
FITNESS" HE SAID FOR EVERY
GIRL YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH
FOR ONE NIGHT.
IF YOU WANT TO STAY SINGLE IT
IS THE SAME GIRL YOU HAVE TO
NOT CALL BACK.
TRAGEDY.
AFTER BEING THE ONE NIGHTSTAND
GUY IT IS ALSO JUST A LITTLE
GROSS.
HOT MODELS WANT TO SLEEP WITH
YOU AND ARE REPULSIVE.
HE IS RUMORED TO BE ENGAGED TO
KUNICH.
THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH
WHAT HE SAID I'M SURE.
I WILL GO TO YOU, JOE --
JOANNE.
ARE YOU HAPPY FOR MILA OR SAD
FOR YOURSELF?
>> COMBINATION OF THE TWO.
I WANT TO BE HER BODY DOUBLE
IN FILMS, SO IF SHE GETS
PREGNANT THEY WILL NEED ME ON
THERE MORE.
I'M ALL FOR THE MONOGAMY.
>> RIGHT NOW YOU ARE DOING IT
A LITTLE BIT.
>> WHO SAYS I AM NOT.
>> YOU HAVE SIX YEARS ON HER,
RIGHT?
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE AGE.
>> SHE IS 30.
>> SHE IS MOVING ON.
>> THIS GIRL IS BRILLIANT.
SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS GETTING
HERSELF INTO.
SHE KNOWS HE IS A CHEATER.
SHE SAID YOU WILL PUBLICLY SAY
AS MANY TIMES AS I TELL YOU TO
THAT YOU ARE ALL ABOUT
MONOGAMY AND YOU ARE A CHANGED
MAN.
>> IS HE SAYING THIS BECAUSE
HE HAS HAD 16,000 ONE-NIGHT
STANDS?
IS IT LIKE SAYING DON'T DO
DRUGS BECAUSE BETWEEN 20 AND
40 I DID THEM.
>> IT IS LIKE A BILLIONAIRE
WHO COMPLAINS THAT PEOPLE ARE
NOT GIVING ENOUGH.
>> OR MONEY WON'T BRING YOU
HAPPINESS.
>> REALLY?
IT WON'T?
I DON'T KNOW THERE ARE A LOT
OF GUYS THAT A ARE SINGLE THAT
UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL HE IS
SAYING.
I WILL SAY THIS MUCH, THERE IS
NOTHING BETTER THAN BEING
MARRIED.
IT ABSOLUTELY IS THE HONEST TO
GOD'S TRUTH.
MAYBE HE HAS GOTTEN TO THE
POINT WHERE HE REALIZES THAT.
>> AND YOU LOVE MARRIAGE SO
MUCH THAT YOU HAVE DONE IT A
COUPLE TIMES.
>> THIS ONE IS FOR THE REST OF
MY LIFE.
>> THIS ONE IS GOING TO
STICK.
I FEEL IT.
>> HIS WIFE IS HERE WITH US IN
THE STUDIO, BY THE WAY.
>> SHE IS THE WORLD'S MOST
WONDERFUL WOMAN.
NO OFFENSE TO THE UKRAINIAN.
>> I AM OFFENDED.
>> OR ANDY'S CATS.
THAT HE DRESSES UP AS A
UKRAINIAN MODEL.
WHO CARES IF HE GOT TO THIS
POINT LATE IN LIFE.
DO YOU AGREE WITH WHAT HE IS
SAYING?
>> LOOKS LIKE HE FOUND
RELIGION.
GOOD FOR HIM.
HOPE IT WORKS OUT.
HOPE IT IS FOREVER.
MONOGAMY IS THE WAY TO GO.
IT IS CREEPY TO BE THE GUY WHO
HAS TO SNEAK OUT.
IT IS KIND OF GROSS.
>> IT IS GROSS.
I WOULDN'T KNOW THAT FEELING
THOUGH.
I AM ALWAYS THE GUY WHO WAKES
UP AND THERE IS LIKE SOMEBODY
CRYING GOING WHAT WAS I
THINKING?
I AM SMEARED WITH JELLY.
>> IS THAT JELLY?
>> ANDY, DO YOU THINK ASHTON
SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO THE ONE
NIGHTSTAND GUYS OUT THERE?
HE HAD TO HAVE OFFENDED THEM.
>> HE ABSOLUTELY SHOULD.
I ACTUALLY AGREE WITH HIM.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN A ONE
NIGHTSTAND BAY.
GUY.
IT IS NOT FOR ME.
>> YOU STICK TO ONE HAND.
>> I PROMISE NOT TO CHEAT ON
YOU.
>> THAT WAS UNNECESSARY.
>> THAT WAS TERRIBLE.
>> I APOLOGIZE.
I AM APOLOGIZING FOR BEING SO
OBVIOUS A JOKE.
I AM NOT REALLY SORRY I SAID
IT.
>> THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANT
YOU TO APOLOGIZE FOR.
>> WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK.
MORE STUFF IS ON THE WAY.
IF YOU HAVEN'T BOUGHT MY BOOK
YET, I AM ANGRY.
I HAVE TO REWRITE THIS.
31 CITIES AND 11 DAYS. HERE
IS A LOOK AT WHERE I AM GOING
TO BE.
STOP BY AND MEET ME.
I WILL BE IN KNOXVILLE,
TENNESSEE.
I WILL BE IN NAPE PELLS,
FLORIDA.
I WILL BE IN FORT MEYERS.
CHECK OUT G GUTFELD.COM FOR
THE ENTIRE TOUR SCHEDULE.
31 CITIES.
>>> HOW LOW CAN LILO GO?
FORMERLY RELEVANT ACTRESS
LYNDSAY LOHAN IS IN A NEW
REALITY SHOW ON THE OPRAH'S
NEVER BEEN RELEVANT NETWORK.
THAT'S MEAN.
WHICH BEGS THE QUESTION --
SHOULD WE CARE SOME -- CARE?
HOW DO I DO THIS?
OH YEAH.
FLIP THIS AND THEN TURN IT
OVER LIKE THIS.
>> THAT LOOKS GREAT.
SOMEONE SPENT WAY TOO MUCH
TIME ON THAT ONE.
>> WASN'T ME.
I HAD A TECH DO THIS FOR ME.
HIS NAME IS VIC.
VIC THE TECH.
>> VIC THE GRAPHIC DESIGNER.
>> HE DID A GOOD VERSION -- A
BETTER VERSION THAN I DID
WHICH BUGS ME.
HIGH IS AFTER MY JOB.
SORRY, VIC.
THE SHOW CHRONICLE THE
THICK-LIPPED WRETCH'S MOVE TO
A HOTEL AND HER SEARCH FOR AN
APARTMENT AND STRUGGLE TO STAY
READY.
>> YOU NEED THE CUT THE
[BLEEP].
YOU REALLY DO.
>> I AM OKAY WITH THAT.
WILL ANY OF US GIVE A DAMN?
I HAVE GUESTS SITTING NEAR
ME.
I LOVE THAT OPRAH IS UNHAPPY
ABOUT THIS.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE
WANTED.
SHE WANTS TO FILM A TRAIN
WRECK.
YOU DON'T TRAINS.
YOU FILM TRAIN WRECKS.
>> SHE LOOKED DEEPLY
AFFECTED.
IT WAS WELL SCRIPTED.
I DO NOT CARE AT ALL.
I DON'T KNOW WHY LYNDSAY --
ANYONE CARES ABOUT LYNDSAY
LOHAN.
SHE WAS NEVER IN A FILM.
>> "THE PARENT TRAP"?
COME ON.
>> "MACHETE."
QUALITY FILM MAKING.
>> IT IS CALLED SHOULD WE
CARE?
>> THAT'S A GOOD POINT.
>> THE ONE THING I LIKE ABOUT
HER IS SHE IS EXCEL RATING THE
KATHLEEN TURNER VOICE.
SHE IS 25, BUT SHE SOUNDS LIKE
A SEXY 60-YEAR-OLD.
>> I HAD NO IDEA SHE ACTUALLY
HAD THIS SHOW.
I WILL SAY OPRAH WINFREY IS IF
NOT THE SMARTEST, PROBABLY THE
TOP THREE SMARTEST
ENTERTAINMENT EXECUTIVES AND
PRODUCERS OUT THERE.
THE IDEA SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT
WAS GOING TO HAPPEN IS
INCONCEIVABLE.
I AM RIGHT ON BOARD.
I DON'T REALLY CARE.
I HOPE SHE DOES WELL.
JUST LIKE I HOPE EVERYBODY HAS
A GOOD LIFE.
AT THE END OF THE DAY, I JUST
DON'T CARE.
I AM TOO BUSY WATCHING HONEY
BOO BOO.
THAT'S TWO NOS TO SHOULD WE
CARE?
THIS IS EXCITING.
SOME MAY SAY SHE IS LOSING HER
LOOKS.
YOU SAID WE SHOULD ONLY CARE
ABOUT HOT PEOPLE.
DO WE HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO
HER OR NOT?
>> I CARE.
I CARE DEEPLY.
I SEE MYSELF IN THIS POOR
GIRL.
IT IS 10 YEARS DOWN THE ROAD.
I MODEL MY LIFE CHOICES OFF OF
HER.
WE SHOULD ALL TAKE A LOOK AT A
THIS AND REFLECT ON OUR OWN
CHOICES AND ACT ACCORDINGLY.
I MEAN REALLY THOUGH --
>> I WAS ABOUT TO BE
COMPLAINANT.
>> IT IS CRAZY BECAUSE SHE HAS
HAD SO MANY UPS AND DOWNS AND
THEN TO HAVE THESE CAMERAS IN
YOUR FACE, AND IT IS ONLY
GOING TO UP THE ANXIETY AND UP
THE STRESS.
ISN'T THAT WHEN PEOPLE CRACK?
WE WILL JUST SEE ANOTHER TRAIN
WRECK.
YOU CAN'T LOOK AWAY.
I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO
WATCH.
>> I THINK A LOT OF WOMEN SEE
THEMSELVES IN HER AND A LOT OF
MEN HAVE SEEN THEMSELVES.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
IT WAS A VERY AVAILABLE
POINT.
THEY MAKE A LOT OF GOOD POINTS
HERE SURPRISINGLY.
>> DESPITE HER CLEANSING.
>> TELEVISION DOES NOT MAKE
ANYTHING BETTER.
WHEN YOU HAVE PROBLEMS YOU
DON'T DO A TV SHOW.
>> OPRAH IS AN ENABLER.
PART OF LOHAN'S ADDICTION
PROBLEM WAS BEING ADDICTED TO
FAME.
>> A SHOW?
>> MORE THAN -- MORE THE
MOVIE.
SHE WAS DOING A DECENT JOB
STAYING OUT OF THE PUBLIC
EYE.
>> EXCEPT FOR THE BREAKOUT HIT
"CANYONS."
>> SHE PLAYED ELIZABETH
TAYLOR.
>> IN TERMS OF HER LIFE ITSELF
WAS OUT OF THE PUBLIC LIFE.
OPRAH IS DISGUSTING.
CAN WE SAY THAT?
>> YOU DO NOT GET A CAR.
>> I DON'T CARE.
>> SHE IS EXACTLY DISGUSTING
BECAUSE SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT
IS GOING ON. SHE IS SITTING
THERE WITH HER PRETEND UPSET
STUFF.
>> SOMEBODY IS NOT GETTING A
SHOW ON OPRAH'S NETWORK.
>> I HAVE TO STAND UP FOR
OPRAH TOO.
>> CELEBRITY REHAB HAD NOBLE
INTENTIONS.
THEY WOULD LOSE ONE PERSON A
SERIES UNTIL THEY SAID, YOU
KNOW WHAT, MAYBE WE SHOULD
STOP.
TV IS NOT MAKING THEM BETTER.
YOU LOSE THE GUY FROM TAXI.
>> AND THAT WHAT IS SO SAD.
YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER.
>> I WAS SO HIGH WATCHING THE
SHOW.
JOKING PEOPLE.
DON'T GET HIGH AND WATCH TV.
SHOULD WE CARE?
NO.
>> WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT OPRAH
BEING STUPID.
>> NO.
>> THAT MAKES ME THE
TIEBREAKER.
THAT IS WE SHOULD CARE.
DO YOU HAVE A COMMENT ON THE
SHOW?
THERE SHOULD BE A WHOLE SHOW
CALLED SHOULD WE CARE?
E-MAIL AS YOU RED EYE AT FOX
NEWS.COM.
GO TO FOOKS NEWS.COM -- FOX
NEWS.COM/RED EYE.
OUR LAST STORY WHICH IS ABOUT
SOMETHING.
ANDREW JACKSON.
>>> COMING UP TOMORROW ON THE
NEXT "RED EYE" WE HAVE
JEDEDIAH BILA AND SONNY
JOHNSON AND, CAN I TALK
STILL?
SHERROD SMALL WILL BE HOSTING
BECAUSE I WILL BE IN COLORADO
GIVING A SPEECH.
INTERESTING.
ANYWAY, SHOULD HE STILL BE ON
OUR BILL?
THAT'S THE TOPIC OF TONIGHT'S
"RED EYE" DEBATE 2014 LIVE
FROM THE" RED EYE" DEBATE
CENTER.
>> BACK TO "RED EYE" DEBATE
CENTER.
I'M GREG GUTFELD, HOST OF THE
"RED EYE" DEBATE CENTER.
SHOULD ANDREW JACKSON BE
REMOVED FROM THE $20 BILL?
HE WAS OUR SEVENTH PRESIDENT,
BUT THEY SAY HE KILLED TONS OF
PEOPLE AND MADE A FORTUNE AS A
SLAVE TRADER WHICH IS BAD.
HE THINKS HAVING HIS FACE ON
THE 20 OBSCURES THE LEGACY
WRITING.
NO HISTORICAL FIGURE IS
PERFECT.
I VOTE FOR GARY COLEMAN.
BAKER, I WILL ADMIT JACKSON
DOES SEEM LIKE A SCARY DUDE,
BUT WEREN'T WE ALL SCARY BACK
THEN?
JAY EVERYBODY WAS SCARY.
IT WAS A TOUGH TIME.
YOU HAD TO BE SCARY OUR DIDN'T
SURVIVE.
>> EXACTLY.
>> EXCUSE ME WITH THIS TRAIL
OF TEARS.
IN THINKING ABOUT IT, MAYBE
THERE SHOULD BE A ROTATION.
LET'S PUT TEDDY ROOSEVELT.
HE WAS TERRIFIC.
HE WAS A GREAT PRESIDENT.
HE DID A LOT FOR
CONSERVATION.
LET'S GET HIM ON.
I WOULDN'T MESS WITH THE
ICONS.
I WOULDN'T MESS WITH
WASHINGTON OR LINCOLN.
MAYBE WE CAN SHIFT IT UP A
LITTLE BIT.
I HAVE THIS THEORY THAT ANDREW
JACKSON WAS LIKE THE TRAIN
SPOTTER.
WHEREVER HE WENT PEOPLE GOT
HURT.
SOMEBODY GOT MAD AT SOMEBODY
SO HE STABBED HIM WITH A
CANE.
MAYBE THEY HAVE A POINT HERE.
>> THAT'S A DEEP INSIDE.
I MEAN THAT.
I AM NOT BEING SARCASTIC.
I WONDER IF WE START
DISQUALIFYING PRESIDENTS
BECAUSE THEY HAVE DONE
DEPLORABLE THINGS, I COULD
PROBABLY FIND A REASON TO
DISLIKE JUST ABOUT ANY
PRESIDENT YOU PUT IN FRONT OF
ME.
HOW ABOUT WE PUT REGULAR
PEOPLE ON THE MONEY?
PEOPLE LIKE KANYE WEST, GREAT
AMERICAN HEROS.
WE COULD PUT HIM ON THE 20 OR
50.
>> I THINK HE WOULD LIKE TO BE
ON THE HUNDRED.
>> WE COULD PUT HIM ON EVERY
DENOMINATION.
>> ACROSS THE BOARD.
>> HE IS A MAN OF MANY FACES.
HE HAS A NEW BABY.
>> I WOULD LIKE TO BE ON THE
$5.
>> DO YOU THINK HE IS WATCHING
RIGHT NOW?
>> HE MIGHT BE.
>> HE WOULD BE VERY ANGRY
RIGHT NOW.
HE ALWAYS IS.
JOANNE, ANDREW JACKSON AS YOU
NOY WAS NOT ON THE JACKSON
FIVE, JUST SO YOU KNOW THAT.
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?
>> THEN I HAVE NONE.
I WAS GOING TO GO ON ABOUT HIS
BRILLIANT CAREER ON THE
DRUMS.
SO, I'M SURE ANDY WAS GOING TO
MENTION THIS AND I'M GOING TO
JUMP THE GUN.
HE WAS OPPOSED TO PAPER
MONEY.
>> REALLY?
>> YES.
DID YOU KNOW THAT?
>> NO.
>> I DID SOME RESEARCH.
THIS IS HIS ETERNAL PUNISH
MINT -- PUNISHMENT FOR BEING A
TERRIBLE MAN.
THIS IS THE AMERICAN WAY.
THIS IS JUSTICE.
>> HE IS TRAPPED.
IT IS LIKE A "TWILIGHT ZONE."
HE HAS BECOME WHAT HE HAS
HATED.
YOU ARE USED TO THAT.
>> I ONLY CARRY HANDIES.
-- HUNDIES.
WE CAN'T TAKE PEOPLE OFF THE
BILLS.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE TO STOP.
OUR RACIST PRODUCER WANTS
LINCOLN OFF THE 5.
>> I WANT LINCOLN OFF THE 5
TOO.
>> SHOULD WE PUT SNOWDEN ON
THE 5?
>> MAYBE SO.
>> SNOWDEN GOES ON BIT COINS.
>> UNTIL 1928 GROVER CLEVELAND
WAS ON THE 20.
THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT
CHANGED IT.
THEY CLAIM THEIR RECORDS DON'T
REVEAL WHY THE CHANGE WAS MADE
WHICH IS CODE FOR THE MASON
TOLD THEM TO.
GUESS WHAT, NONE OF THIS IS
CHANGING BECAUSE THE MAY SONS
AND THE ILLUMINATI DON'T WANT
IT TO.
>> YOU KNOW WHO MY FAVORITE
MASON IS?
MASONRIES. -- MASON REECE.
THE LITTLE RED HEADED GUY.
MASON REECE.
THE LITTLE RED HEADED KID.