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Good morning its Melody Brooke. Okay, today I want to talk about how things go wrong when
we communicate. I've talked about this often, before, but one of the things that I've noticed,
even with myself is that when someone says something that um, triggers something in me
that makes me feel like I'm being attacked, or like I'm not being heard, that's really
hard for me. Whenever I say something and somebody says something back where they haven't
heard me at all, I tend to get a little reactive. So what we have to do when we feel ourselves
starting to be defensive, when we feel that tension coming up, its really important to
slow down and count to ten. Yea! That's right, count to ten! Remember when we were kids we
were told to count to ten? It's true! It works! Slow down, count to ten, it gives your old
brain that old lizard brain, a chance to settle down, and puts your new brain back on board.
Then we can respond back with a little bit more of our self on board. Our new rational
mind the part I'm talking with right now, has a chance to come on board when we count
to ten. So slow it down, count to ten. And if you can, repeat back what it is you are
hearing your partner say because, when they said something, sometimes they don't even
realize what it was they said that set you off! The truth is, you may not have heard
it the way you intended it! Sometimes they will be saying one thing and we have heard
something completely different! So if we can say back what we hear them say, then we can
have a chance to really clarify what it is they really meant. And we can only do that
if we slow down, count to ten and give ourselves a chance to put that new brain back on board.
That's my little tip for today. My book is called Oh wow this changes everything, its
available on amazon and audible and even on kindle so check it out! You can find out more
about me at Melodybrooke.com Talk to you later! Bye!