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Hello again and welcome back to Backyard Football Hardcore!
I'm 1216 Hurricane and after a three and a half hiatus –
...three and a half month hiatus I should say from this let's play, I've finally gotten back to this old Backyard Football classic.
Since it's been a while since Episode Ten...
...I'll just recap what we're doing.
We're playing Backyard Football, the original version, on hard mode...
...with the worst players possible in the worst positions possible.
For example, Kimmy Eckman...
...the redhead, sugar addict on the lower row...
...on this bleacher picture is extremely slow.
So as a result we're putting her in the runningback position.
Here's who we'll be facing today... the Lions!
Which feature the OP and overpowered runningback Barry Sanders.
We're also a mediocre six and six for the season so far...
...pretty good for a Suckers team...
...so that ranks us fourth in our conference.
Hopefully we can win our final two games to clinch the playoffs.
That's it for our old recap...
Let's get right into the game, right away.
Let's play some football... for Episode Eleven...
...against the Detroit Lions.
Should be interesting...
...and we're at Metro Civic Playfield.
Let's start some football up.
We're the away team, so we'll be kicking it off and...
...we'll just be kicking off to the side since I don't want...
...Barry Sanders, the OP running back to return the ball.
He's back over there.
We'll use this weak kick...
That slides over there, and just let everyone just tackle.
Pretty good!
Uh... behind the fifty yard line – that's pretty good for a Suckers team.
Uh... what I want to do is Chain Link.
...and... sort of like block these guys off.
Um... op, Barry's coming through!
...and looks like... on the first offensive movement, or play of the game...
...looks like we're having trouble defending them.
...and since it's been a three and a half month hiatus since I last played this game...
Um... I'm not very used to the game as I was before so I might... be off my game a little bit.
...but that's something that's hard to defend when you just can't tackle anything.
Um... so let's do the onside return.
...and... let's see how strong they kick and...
...Mr. Crap will be back here, and...
...we'll just run him off to the side so he doesn't fumble it.
...and let them have another goal – I mean touchdown.
...and... what should we start off with?
I'll do... onside – outside handoff
...and if you don't remember, I'm not going to run with the Outside Handoff.
I'm actually going to drop back to pass since the computer does not recognize running routes as passing routes.
...so I can throw it to a wide open running back.
...and... this time they don't make the best out of the situation and fail to do anything.
Let's do Lunch Pail... pretty good play...
It sort of puts everyone off to the outside... as you can see here.
...and let's throw to Kimmy... who, bounces – oh Jorge got it!
Looks like our center actually caught a ball because...
...apparently Kimmy Eckman's off her game today.
Hasn't caught a single pass – uh, let's try Outside Handoff again.
Uh... hopefully we can wish for the best; she's wide open but you know her –
...her pass catching ability is very bad.
...and looks like she almost dropped it there but luckily she's... gained her consciousness or something and caught the ball again.
Uh... let's do a run play. Let's actually use Outside Handoff as a running play.
Um... well if... nope. They're going to do that...
So... before he tackles me I'm just gonna throw to Kimmy Eckman for a wide open pass.
Uh... she just stalled there and started running in her place for no reason.
But um... uh... positive yardage.
It's always a good thing.
...and Inside Out. Well it depends on what they're doing.
I'm just gonna drop back and do this.
...and throw to Kimmy right at the line of scrimmage so she'll get the yardage.
Making a safe page – play – play so she doesn't fumble it.
As you know with this Suckers team everyone just fumbles everything.
So.. fumbles always cause this team to lose... so...
...so... ooh! Angel Delvecchio; I barely throw to her.
...because she sucks at catching but this time...
...she flips the ball in the air and catches it...
...and runs it in for a touchdown.
Uh... and... since we can't kick – oh we got Leap Frog.
Le – it's the most... guaranteed super play in the game.
...and there we go... we get the conversion...
...and if you're wondering why I'm not doing an extra point and you're just joining us today...
Um... it's because... uh...
Mr. Crap is the worst player on the team so he's also the kicker.
...and since he sucks at kicking, he – it's pretty much a hundred percent guarantee that he'll...
...miss the extra point.
Ooh we got a fumble! We got a fumble! Yes!
Um... yeah... so that's what I do... but uh...
With that fumble, the reason I ran out of bounds is so I don't fumble it myself...
...which tends to happen a lot.
Normally we'd get a fumble – I mean they fumble a ball, but then we'd then – we'd recover it but then we'd fumble the...
Well looks like that was a wasted fumble opportunity because the ball just bounced off their helmets.
Um... due to this – Mr. Crap's high firing angle.
...and... nope... uh... yeah.
...and that's a good play.
Um... if you're not noticing, I'm...
If you're not noticing when I'm – when they're passing to make up for the suckiness of this team...
...I'm actually using pass interference...
Um... surprisingly about this game there's no penalties...
...and... you would think there would be penalties since this is a football game and penalties are a very –
...play a very important role in football.
...and... but they're on fourth down, which is good.
It's really good, or rare, I should say, for the Suckers team to actually make someone go fourth and out.
That was a field goal apparently and... they made it.
Uh... I thought that was a punt. But... uh... yeah.
I don't have any all-blitz plays anyways so I guess that was fine.
...and Mr. Crap... just bring him out to the twenty like a touchback, or a little further than that.
...and let's get right on our feet!
Um... I'm starting with a Lunch Pail play.
You know... some safe plays... down the middle...
Hopefully she catches this one... and she does and...
Mr. OP Barry Sanders is right on her back and we get uh... pretty good yardage.
I don't know how many was that... that was like thirty, forty yards?
I don't know, thirty yards, and obviously in this game all the yards are exaggerated.
...like you wouldn't really see this in real life...
...because it's always first and twenty since it's so easy to uh...
...whatever, I should say um...
...see this Trolling play... and let Kimmy Eckman, because, what happened there was like I got all our receivers downfield on that play, and...
Kimmy Eckman actually does a comeback on that play you see over here, so...
Um... yeah. Eh... pretty comfortable right now.
We're making all the plays that we need to play...
...and we're making our rounds.
Um... reason why I passed out there is because no one was open and I was gonna get sacked, but...
I did get sacked eventually.
Ugh... sigh... third and twenty-four.
Get wide open Kimmy Eckman... gonna get a wide – all damn I missed it.
Uh... well, it's the second half; we get the ball back anyways.
Uh... we're behind eight and ten!
Uh... so let's do the onside return.
...and... let's see... depending on how – ohp, they kicked it pretty strong.
Medium-strong. Uh... Mr. Crap... Oh... look how – look how long it takes just for us to do this.
Uh... Amir Khan! He's the best player on our team, but he's in –
...since he's in bad skill positions we barely even feature him on the offense or defense.
So... well he's – I think he's on our defense but not on our offense for sure.
...and let's not get a safety. Oops, I thought – I didn't think Ronny Dobbs was open, but...
Eh... we get some yards.
Uh... always good, to move forward.
Like I said before, what a wonderful concept...
I believe it was in episode two where I said, moving downfield is such a wonderful concept.
And getting – scoring points. That's such a wonderful concept.
...and we're getting the yards; that Outside Handoff actually worked that time.
Uh... oh we have leap frog. We'll save that for later.
Um... let's do the Outside Handoff again. Just get – make some safe plays.
Uh... and we're moving downfield! That's pretty good.
Uh... oh no shoot. Oh shoot.
Ugh... they actually recognized the uh... running route that time so let's uh... do some Hocus Pocus shall we?
Muahahahaha... Uh hopefully they're not – yes this is – this is perfect.
Hopefully he catches the ball. Hopefully he catches the ball. Yes!
Look at that: Ronny Dobbs, with his skinny legs, up against Barry Sanders.
Running – running out of bounds. There we go!
And... that was one heck of a play.
Uh... luckily he caught the ball; normally he'd just bounce it on his helmet...
...uh... with no real regard for what he should do.
...and... something like that. That's usually what happens with uh... his Hocus Pocus plays so it's always a risky move...
...but when it works, it works beautifully.
...and let's throw to Kimmy Eckman again.
...and this time she's gonna make a touchdown and we're in the lead!
Uh... and that Leap Frog play – the reliable Leap Frog will get us the extra point unless of course...
...they have, you know, uh... the linebracker – linebacker springer whatever it's called.
...and... but then they don't and... we make the extra point conversion.
So we're six points ahead!
Uh... pretty good! Pretty comfortable.
And... do I want to kick it strong? No, I don't want Barry Sanders to return it anyways.
So let's just kick it to... Judy over here.
Heh... and Chain Link is – Chain Link would be the most reliable.
Let's do this.
Ohp, they're doing a run up the middle... and... looks like we tackled 'em.
I thought – I was thinking he was gonna move through since we had so many people close to the line.
But... apparently that's not the case.
Um... rush these two guys in... and... it's a run.
...and... Barry Sanders is, like I said!
Before the game I said he was OP and here's why. He can just run back, run past, especially against the Suckers team.
...and... we're tied up. They might go for the extra point, so we'll do...
...oh, they don't. And... there we go. I believe we haven't blocked –
...oh, t-that almost went out, but, I believe we haven't blocked an extra kick, uh, extra point, in the entire duration of this, uh, season...
...of this sucky team.
Well I'm just running out to the side because you know, you don't wanna fumble it either.
...and let's take some time because we do have a quarter of play.
Let's make some safe plays... t-t-that gets us downfield.
Let's just run out of bounds so we don't fumble it, because we need to conserve our play time.
Um... so yeah.
Outside Handoff. Let's hope – hopefully they don't cover Kimmy like the did last time.
That was... odd. Normally you don't see that.
Uh... Barry Sanders moving through!
Uh... okay. Here we are, uh... let's see what other plays we have.
We have Hocus Pocus, good enough. Uh...
'Cause we need to make the extra point.
That's... all that matters. Um... okay.
Uh... [unintelligible speech] let's... and hopefully she catches it.
...and... sort'a skim around and there we go! We got thirty-seven seconds left.
Um... we have to make the extra point though.
...and... I'm not going to use Hocus Pocus – we have Sonic Boom, okay, good.
Uh... because if you use Hocus Pocus on an extra point play or a conversion...
...they're just gonna run out here and they won't be able to catch the ball there, and defenders will be all around here.
So... it's sort of a waste, and... don't – and uh... for anyone who's suspecting Super Punt does not work on field goals...
...you'll just completely miss. Um... and it'll actually be a weak kick.
...and I want a weak kick on this one too, so that they don't return it all the way back.
...and thirty-four seconds! Let's see what they'll do.
We do have that Hocus Pocus play.
...and we're just saving that up.
...and I know this play by heart. But you – yes! Mr. Crap tackles the OP; the underpowered player.
...and this is gonna be a run play for sure.
I'm just gonna do this just to make sure.
...and there we go!
See when you study your playbooks you know exactly what they're up to.
...and that was the Quick Draw play.
...and let's do Chain Link, just for being safe and sound.
Let's move Mr. Crap back, I don't know why I was...
That was one heck of a sack!
Uh... Spring Loaded, definitely. Definately Spring Loaded.
...and let's see if we can block this one!
Aw... come on. I almost blocked that punt. And hopefully they don't recover it back and...
Here we go! Eighteen seconds left in the game.
You wanna make sure you make some safe plays.
Don't wanna fumble it, don't wanna let them intercept it.
Let's just keep throwing behind the line of scrimmage. Uh... there we go.
Just gain some minimal yardage... and that one she didn't catch it!
Uh, that's okay, because we have fifteen seconds left...
The more time we burn, the better we go.
In this one she's wide open so there's no risk of interception.
...and let's run out of bounds before Barry Sanders tackles her.
Um... and let's do that again before we do a – we end up with a final salute, with our Hocus Pocus play.
...which we s-saved up for last.
...and let's throw it to her, and just run out of bounds.
...and let's use some Hocus Pocus!
Uh... we also have the Sonic Boom, which I'm not using.
Uh... so Hocus Pocus it is.
Let's just throw downfield because I don't care about life anymore.
...and we failed that one, but, we do have on pass play left.
Oh, it's a turnover on downs, nevermind.
Uh... oh shoot, we gotta – gotta defend this one.
No... no... no... NOOOO! No!
No, this is – this is – this is s-stupid. No. No.
No. No I don't want a last – a last second play. No. T-that – this isn't – this isn't fair.
Uh we gotta use all of'our power.
Oh, they wanna bring this to overtime, don't they!?
They wanna bring this to overtime. This is our overtime match!
[Heavily sighs] Okay. Well since I'm running out of my... time here I'm gonna save our overtime play for later. That's it for... episode eleven... in regular time.