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WILL!
WILL, WOULD YOU HURRY UP ALREADY?
IF YOU CAN DO IT ANY FASTER, THEN YOU COME IN HERE!
STOP YOUR SQUAWKING.
WE ONLY HAVE 15 MINUTES.
I JUST AIN'T TRYING TO BE OUT THERE LOOKING STUPID, ALL RIGHT?
LET'S DO THIS.
♪ NOW THIS IS A STORY ALL ABOUT HOW ♪
♪ MY LIFE GOT FLIPPED ♪
♪ TURNED UPSIDE-DOWN ♪
♪ AND I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE ♪
♪ JUST SIT RIGHT THERE ♪
♪ I'LL TELL YOU HOW I BECAME THE PRINCE ♪
♪ OF A TOWN CALLED BEL-AIR ♪
♪ IN WEST PHILADELPHIA, BORN AND RAISED ♪
♪ ON THE PLAYGROUND IS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS ♪
♪ CHILLIN' OUT, MAXIN', RELAXING ALL COOL ♪
♪ AND ALL SHOOTIN' SOME B-BALL ♪
♪ OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL ♪
♪ WHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD ♪
♪ STARTED MAKIN' TROUBLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
♪ I GOT IN ONE LITTLE FIGHT ♪
♪ AND MY MOM GOT SCARED ♪
♪ AND SAID YOU'RE MOVING WITH YOUR AUNTIE ♪
♪ AND UNCLE IN BEL-AIR ♪
♪ I WHISTLED FOR A CAB ♪
♪ AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR ♪
♪ THE LICENSE PLATE SAID FRESH ♪
♪ AND IT HAD DICE IN THE MIRROR ♪
♪ IF ANYTHING, I CAN SAY ♪
♪ THAT THIS CAB WAS RARE ♪
♪ BUT I THOUGHT, NAH, FORGET IT ♪
♪ YO, HOMES, TO BEL-AIR ♪
♪ I PULLED UP TO A HOUSE ABOUT 7 OR 8 ♪
♪ AND I YELLED TO THE CABBY ♪
♪ YO, HOMES, SMELL YOU LATER ♪
♪ I LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM, I WAS FINALLY THERE ♪
♪ TO SIT ON MY THRONE AS THE PRINCE OF BEL-AIR ♪
AND ACTION!
HI. AS THE KING OF POULTRY,
I KNOW WHAT GOOD CHICKEN SHOULD TASTE LIKE,
AND IF YOU--
HOLD UP, CARLTON. WAIT A MINUTE.
A CHICKEN EATING CHICKEN?
THAT'S JUST SICK.
HILARY'S GOING TO NEED HER STAGE IN FIVE MINUTES.
OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
HEY, GIRL! WHAT'S UP? HOW YOU DOING?
HEY, WHAT PART OF THE CHICKEN YOU LIKE?
EXCUSE ME. BREAK IT UP.
YOU, OUT. BIG BIRD, BACK TO WORK.
MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M DOING THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T,
I'LL FIRE YOU, YOU'LL DROP OUT OF SCHOOL,
AND SOON YOU'LL BE WRESTLING FOR SCRAPS
IN A DUMPSTER BEHIND THE SIZZLER.
BUT, HEY, YOU HAVE TO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE.
HI. AS THE AIN'T- GOT-NO-DAMN-CHOICE KING OF POULTRY--
CUT!
I AM NOT EXPERIENCING HAPPY CHICKEN HERE.
BUKAWW!
NOW I'M A HAPPY CHICKEN.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
WE HAVEN'T FINISHED YET, MISTER.
CARLTON, I HAVE HAD IT.
I'M 20 YEARS OLD AND IN A CHICKEN SUIT.
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THESE STUPID JOBS.
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, WILL,
YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY OVERQUALIFIED.
READ MY BEAK--I QUIT!
YOU CAN'T QUIT, WILL.
GET BACK HERE.
I'M YOUR BOSS!
GET BACK HERE!
WILL, YOU BETTER--
NO. I'M DONE.
I NEED YOU ON THE SET--
WHAT'S GOING ON?
IT'S HIM!
IT'S HIM!
HE STARTED IT!
HE STARTED IT!
LOOK, HIL, DO YOU HAVE ANY JOB OPENINGS?
ASK WERNER. HE'S THE PRODUCER.
WELL, DO YOU?
UH, WELL, YEAH.
WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR AN ASSISTANT TALENT COORDINATOR.
IT'S HARD WORK, BUT THERE'S ROOM FOR ADVANCEMENT.
ALL RIGHT.
ASSISTANT TALENT COORDINATOR.
I MEAN, I CAN ASSIST, I'M TALENTED, AND DEFINITELY COORDINATED.
HEY, CARLTON BANKS HERE. I'M HILARY'S BROTHER.
I'VE CONSIDERED A VOCATIONAL CHANGE FOR SOME TIME--
WHOA, WHOA, WAIT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU ALREADY GOT A GOOD JOB.
THIS JOB'S BETTER, SO STEP ASIDE.
AS I WAS SAYING--
I MAKE IT A RULE TO STAY CLEAR OF DOMESTIC DISPUTES,
SO, UH...HILARY?
HILARY, I NEVER ASKED YOU FOR NOTHING--
O.K. YOU'RE HIRED.
YES!
WHAT ABOUT ME? I'M YOUR BROTHER.
O.K. THEN YOU CAN HAVE THE JOB.
[GIGGLES] THIS IS EASY!
H-HILARY, YOU J-JUST SAID--
O.K. YOU CAN HAVE THE JOB.
BUT YOU GAVE ME THE JOB!
I'M GETTING A HEADACHE!
WERNER, HANDLE THIS, PLEASE?
I'VE WORKED IN MANAGEMENT FOR TWO YEARS.
I CAN TYPE 100 WORDS A MINUTE.
I TAKE SHORTHAND. I SPEAK FRENCH AND SPANISH.
I'M PRELAW WITH A 4.0 AVERAGE.
HMM. AND YOU?
WELL, YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE TO BRAG...
BUT...
THAT'S IT. I JUST DON'T LIKE TO BRAG.
PAY NO ATTENTION TO HIM.
HE'S A CHICKEN.
IT WAS YOUR IDEA FOR ME TO BE IN THIS STUPID SUIT!
THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'VE GOT IT.
HE'S A FOLLOWER, NOT A LEADER.
NO, SIR. I'M YOUR MAN, WERNER.
WHY DON'T WE GRAB LUNCH,
AND YOU CAN BRING ME UP TO SPEED?
YOU REMIND ME OF MYSELF.
I USED TO BE AN ENTRY-LEVEL BUTT-KISSER, TOO.
HA HA HA HA HA!
JAZZ, I WOULD'VE BEEN PERFECT FOR THAT JOB.
THAT BIG BLOW-POP HEAD SWINDLED HIS WAY IN
AND TOOK WHAT WAS MINE.
THAT'S EVEN WORSE THAN GETTING BEAT UP BY A GIRL.
BUT ANYWAY, THIS OUGHT TO CHEER YOU UP.
"COME GET YOUR FREAK ON AT CLUB FREAK ON."
TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO FIND A RHYME FOR "FREAK ON."
HEY, HEY!
OH, WELL, WELL!
M.C. STEAL-A-JOB IS IN THE HOUSE!
DO I DETECT A LITTLE HOSTILITY, WILL?
SOUR GRAPES, PERCHANCE?
FACE IT,
YOU COULDN'T HANDLE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF A REAL JOB.
LEAVE THE HANDLING OF MAURICE PERRY TO PROFESSIONALS.
MAURICE PERRY, THE COMEDIAN?
THE ONE AND ONLY.
HE'S COMING HERE WITH HILARY AND WERNER
TO DISCUSS THE POSSIBILITIES OF BEING ON MY SHOW.
YOUR SHOW?
IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.
ANYWAY, WE'LL NEED THE HOUSE,
SO IF YOU TWO DON'T MIND--
EVEN IF YOU DO MIND--GO AWAY.
MASTER CARLTON, YOUR GUEST HAS ARRIVED.
LOOK HERE, THUMBELINA--
PAY NO ATTENTION TO MY UNEMPLOYED FRIEND.
YOU OUGHT TO BRING MAURICE PAST THE CLUB TONIGHT.
HE WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED.
BESIDES, I HAVE THE PLEASURE
OF ESCORTING HIS SISTER AROUND TOWN TONIGHT.
THE TWO OF Y'ALL CAN FIT ON A BIG WHEEL?
YOU WERE FUNNIER WITH YOUR BEAK ON.
THAT'S IT-- BEAK ON!
"COME GET YOUR BEAK ON AT-- "
SHUT UP.
AND THEN THIS CHINESE GUY COMES IN
AND SAYS, "SUPPLIES! SUPPLIES!"
OH, THAT IS SO FUNNY.
I DON'T GET IT, BUT YOU ARE SO FUNNY!
THANKS A LOT.
CARLTON BANKS. PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
I ENJOY YOUR COMEDY.
I'M SOMEWHAT KNOWN FOR MY BON MOTS MYSELF.
EXCUSE ME, BON BON?
WE'RE NOT FINISHED TALKING YET.
MAURICE, THIS IS MY COUSIN.
ALTHOUGH WE NEVER REALLY DID A BACKGROUND CHECK.
HA HA HA!
OH, PLEASE, SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.
WILL, THIS IS A BUSINESS MEETING.
WHY DON'T YOU PLAY WITH YOUR FUTURE CELLMATE?
MAURICE, HILARY AND I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR GIVING US THE OPPORTUNITY TO SIT AND CHAT.
WE'RE SYNDICATED IN ALL MARKETS,
AND WE'RE SCHEDULED TO EXPAND IN--
OH, SPEAKING OF SCHEDULES, CARLTON.
THE CLINIC CALLED.
YOU'RE STILL ON FOR YOUR IMPLANT TOMORROW.
UH...ANYWAY, OUR DEMOGRAPHICS AT THE MOMENT--
OOH, CARLTON, WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR LIP?
WILL, THERE'S NOTHING ON MY LIP.
OH, NOTHING, BUT THE ROTTING RESIDUE
OF THE LIES YOU TOLD TO STEAL MY JOB.
WILL, ACCEPT IT-- THE BETTER MAN WON.
THE BIGGER, BADDER MAN'S
ABOUT TO BEAT THE BETTER MAN INTO OBLIVION!
HELLO?
SORRY, HILARY, BUT THIS HAS TO BE SAID.
I'VE HAD ABOUT AS MUCH LIP
AS I'M GOING TO TAKE FROM YOU.
YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE
HIGH-PROFILE CELEBRITIES?
YOU THINK IT'S EASY CATERING
TO A LOW-RENT MARTIN LAWRENCE WANNABE? HUH?
I WON'T SIT HERE AND BE INSULTED BY SOME BLACK POTSIE WEBER.
I'M OUT OF HERE, O.K.?
WERNER, DO SOMETHING!
EH...UH...
WILL, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
ALL RIGHT. HEY, HEY, MAURICE! HOLD IT. HOLD IT.
HEY, LISTEN, MAN.
THIS REALLY DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
YOU KIND OF DRIFTED INTO A NO-FLY ZONE.
LOOK, POTSIE DON'T KNOW
WHAT HE TALKING ABOUT. ALRIGHT?
LOOK, YOU ARE ALL OF THAT.
THE TRUTH IS MY COUSIN HILARY'S SHOW IS REALLY COOL.
THE AUDIENCE IS GROWING EVERY DAY,
AND YOU'D HAVE A GREAT TIME DOING IT.
I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
I'M TELLING YOU, THE HONEYS IS BUZZING AROUND THERE
LIKE IT'S A BEEHIVE, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT.
ALL RIGHT!
BUT KEEP THE SMURF AWAY FROM ME.
THAT'S DOABLE.
YOU'RE FIRED.
AAH!
WILL...YOU'RE HIRED.
AAAAH!
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
YOU'RE FIRED AND I'M HIRED.
DID YOU HEAR THAT RUMOR
THAT CARLTON WAS FIRED AND WILL WAS HIRED?
AAAAAAH!
A COURT DATE HAS BEEN SET
FOR THE LONG-AWAITED TRIAL OF TANYA BANE,
THE INFAMOUS SHOW BIZ MADAME.
IT IS RUMORED THAT MISS BANE'S PRICEY CALL GIRLS
COUNTED SOME OF HOLLYWOOD'S TOP LEADING MEN AS CLIENTS.
THE HIGH-PROFILE CASE HAS BEEN ASSIGNED
TO THE PROMINENT JUDGE PHILIP BANKS
WHO IS SHOWN HERE THIS MORNING LEAVING THE COURTHOUSE.
I CANNOT DISCUSS THE CASE.
I'M SORRY. NO COMMENT.
THANK YOU.
IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY.
TV REALLY DOES ADD 10 POUNDS.
MMM. WHAT WOULD ACCOUNT FOR THE OTHER 250?
YOU'RE NOT A MAN WHO ENJOYS EMPLOYMENT, ARE YOU, GEOFFREY?
YOU LOOKED WONDERFUL.
NICKY. LET'S GO IN THE KITCHEN AND GET SOME--
FOOD?
EH-HEH-HEH. SHUT UP.
HEY.
HEY, HEY!
I'M OFF TO STUDY.
DON'T STAY OUT TOO LATE, HONEY.
OOH. I'M SORRY, ASHLEY.
OH...
WHOA.
STUDYING? WHAT IS THIS, YOUR GEOMETRY DRESS?
UM...ELLEN WANTS TO BORROW IT.
OH.
WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE WISECRACKING, JOB-TAKING,
SISTER-STEALING SLUG HIMSELF.
WOO! WHO'S SUCKING ON THEM SOUR GRAPES NOW, HUH, CARLTON?
SURE, YOU LOST YOUR JOB AND CAN'T GET YOUR OLD ONE BACK,
BUT WE'VE ALL GOT PROBLEMS.
I'VE GOT TO TAKE OUT A FAMOUS COMEDIAN'S BEAUTIFUL SISTER,
AND I'M OUT OF BINACA,
BUT YOU DON'T HEAR ME CRYING. BOO-AAH!
[DOORBELL RINGS]
PROMISE ME YOU'LL BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR.
AREN'T I ALWAYS?
IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT THAT MAURICE APPEAR ON MY SHOW.
EVERYTHING HAS TO GO SMOOTHLY WITH HIS SISTER.
ALL KIDDING ASIDE,
I KNOW HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO YOU.
I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.
O.K. THANK YOU.
MAY I PRESENT MISS JASMINE PERRY?
NOW, WHICH ONE OF YOU HANDSOME MENS IS BIG WILLY?
HE IS.
HE IS.
HE IS.
I'M READY TO GET MY FREAK ON.
LOOKS LIKE YOU ALREADY GOT IT ON.
LISTEN, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO GO SOMEPLACE A LITTLE QUIETER,
MAYBE DARKER?
YOU'RE MOVING A LITTLE AHEAD OF ME,
BUT I'M GAME. LET'S DO THIS.
WAIT, UH... Y-YOU KNOW WHAT?
ON SECOND THOUGHT, THIS PLACE WILL BE JUST FINE.
[LE FREAK PLAYS]
HEY, HEY...
OOH, OOH!
OH, I'M SORRY.
ARE YOU O.K.?
NO. IT'S MY STOMACH.
I SHOULD HAVE WAITED AN HOUR BEFORE WE DANCED.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I SHOULD TAKE YOU BACK TO YOUR HOTEL.
WHOO!
HEY, GIRLS, HERE I GO.
ALL RIGHT!
WHERE'S THE TROLL?
I PUT HER BACK UNDER HER BRIDGE.
NO--I DROPPED HER OFF.
READY TO KICK OFF ROUND TWO.
WHOO!
DING-DING!
HURRY UP AND WRITE YOUR NUMBER DOWN BEFORE I DON'T WANT IT NO MORE.
WANT TO DANCE, GIRL?
HEY, WHAT'S UP, ASH?
ASHLEY!
OH, WILL, I CAN EXPLAIN.
I CAN'T EXPLAIN.
WHAT HAPPENED TO STUDYING?
WELL, WE DID STUDY... REALLY FAST,
AND THEN WE CAME HERE.
YOU'RE LEARNING ENTIRELY TOO MUCH FROM ME, YOUNG LADY.
WILL, IT'S JUST GINGER ALE.
COME ON, LET'S GET SOMETHING TO DRINK.
UH...
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL, ARE YOU?
BEHAVE YOURSELF.
YOU, TOO.
HEY...
HA HA...
HEY, YOU WANT TO GET A DANCE ON?
UM...
WHY DON'T YOU GET MAURICE SOMETHING TO DRINK?
WHOO! LIKE THAT, HUH?
WHOO!
OH!
OHH!
HEY!
HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
WHERE'S JASMINE?
UH, WHO?
JASMINE!
OH.
YOU SAID JASMINE.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID "JAZZ, MAN."
YOU DUMPED HER, DIDN'T YOU?
HEY, DON'T GO CONCLUSION JUMPING.
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
WHAT HAPPENED WAS--
YOU GAVE ME YOUR WORD.
YOU-YOU'RE RIGHT.
UM...
I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS, HIL.
OH, MAN. HEY, G., DID JASMINE CALL?
NO, I'M AFRAID NOT, SIR.
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
SHE'S NOT AT THE HOTEL OR THE RESTAURANT...
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
IF SHE TELLS HER BROTHER I DUMPED HER,
AIN'T NO WAY HE'S GOING TO DO HILARY'S SHOW.
I--I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I BLEW THIS.
FIRST CHANCE I HAVE TO PROVE I'M NOT A JOKE...
AND I AM.
PERHAPS YOU MIGHT ENJOY A BOWL OF SOUP, SIR.
MISS JASMINE BROUGHT IT BY FOR YOU.
SHE WAS HERE?
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
YOU ASKED IF SHE CALLED, SIR.
G., COME ON, WHERE IS SHE?
I DON'T KNOW.
I BELIEVE MASTER CARLTON
TOOK HER TO CLUB FREAK ON.
WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?
DON'T KNOW, DON'T CARE.
JAZZ, YOU SEE THAT GIRL I WAS WITH EARLIER?
COME ON, MAN. I'M STILL TRYING TO FORGET.
STOP PLAYING. WHERE IS SHE?
GONE.
BOY, YOU GOT IT BAD.
ALL RIGHT--WHATEVER.
ASHLEY?
YES, DADDY?
HOW WAS STUDYING?
UM...FINE.
UH, YOU KNOW, THE FUNNIEST THING HAPPENED.
YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE--
UH-HUH.
WILL A WEEK COVER IT?
BETTER MAKE IT TWO.
TWO'S GOOD.
HEH HEH HEH...
AHH...
SO...
DID YOU DO IT?
WELL, HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW.
YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED. I'M OUT, YOU'RE IN.
IS THAT ABOUT IT?
OH, NO, SIR!
I HAVE ONLY BEGUN.
YOU KNOW WHAT KILLS ME?
I WAS LAUGHING WALKING HOME. IT'S FUNNY.
YOU KNOW, HOW WE CAN LIVE TOGETHER ALL THESE YEARS
ALMOST LIKE BROTHERS,
AND YOU CAN STILL LOW-BRIDGE ME LIKE THAT.
ARE YOU ABOUT DONE?
OH, NO, SIR!
FURTHERMORE, YOU...LITTLE...
SNAKE? WEASEL?
OOH, YES.
NERD?
OH, YES.
SQUARE-HEADED SHORT STACK?
THIS ISN'T HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE GOING.
YOU'RE MAD I STOLE YOUR JOB?
DAG-GONE RIGHT.
YOU KNOW I WANTED THIS JOB.
YOU DEMONSTRATED THAT BY DITCHING YOUR RESPONSIBILITY--JASMINE,
WHO MAY NOT BE A LOOKER,
BUT IS QUITE AN ENTERTAINING GAL.
FINE. BE THAT AS IT MAY,
IT DOES NOT CHANGE WHAT YOU DID.
MAN, YOU ARE JUST SO SELFISH.
YOU GOT EVERYTHING, BUT ON TOP OF THAT,
YOU GOTTA TAKE EVERYTHING EVERYBODY ELSE HAS.
ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. CARLTON, CARLTON, CARLTON.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?
YOU'RE A SLACKER.
YOU WANT THINGS, BUT YOU'RE NEVER WILLING TO WORK FOR IT.
YOU THINK YOU'LL JUST CHARM YOUR WAY THROUGH,
JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
I AM NOTHING LIKE MY FATHER, ALL RIGHT?
AND I DIDN'T STEAL YOUR JOB.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
JASMINE CAME BY TO SEE HOW YOU WERE,
AND I COVERED FOR YOU.
HER BROTHER'S GOING TO DO THE SHOW.
REALLY?
WELL, WHY? I THOUGHT YOU WANTED THAT JOB.
I DID.
BUT HONESTLY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER FOR IT.
YEAH?
AND BESIDES,
THE IVY LEAGUE LOOKS DOWN ON THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.
I MEAN...
YOU HAD A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO SPLIT MY WIG TONIGHT, MAN.
YOU USUALLY DON'T PASS UP OPPORTUNITIES LIKE THAT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS TIME FOR A CHANGE.
DAMN, MAN,
YOU GONNA MAKE CHANGES IN OUR RELATIONSHIP,
YOU GOTTA LET ME KNOW.
I COULD HAVE BEEN DOWN AT THE CLUB.
THERE'S SOME 100% USDA PRIME CHOICE DOWN THERE
I COULD BE TENDERIZING RIGHT NOW,
TENDERIZING AS WE SPEAK.
HEY.
THANKS A LOT, MAN.
LOOK, I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
YOU'RE GOING TO FIND SOMETHING THAT'S BIGGER AND BETTER.
I HAVE NO DOUBT.
HEY, I OWE YOU, MAN.
BELIEVE ME-- WE'RE EVEN.
NO, NO. I OWE YOU.
TRUST ME. WE ARE DEFINITELY EVEN.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
UH, LISTEN, UM...
CAN YOU GET THAT FOR ME?
YEAH. NO PROBLEM, BUDDY.
I GOT TO THINK OF SOMETHING FLY TO DO FOR HIL,
GET ME AND HER BACK EVEN AGAIN.
CARLTON WAS RIGHT.
IT WAS ONLY A 3 1/2 HOUR VIRUS.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO TAKE ME
TO SANTA BARBARA FOR THE WEEKEND.
I HEAR THEY HAVE NUDE BEACHES.
CARLTON!