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YALE HAS RESCINDED YOUR ACCEPTANCE
DOESN'T HURT NEARLY AS BAD AS WAKING UP THAT MORNING
THAT NIGHT WASN'T EXACTLY WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR EITHER.
WHEN YOUR FATHER ESCAPED TO DOMINICA, HE COULD ONLY GET
WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
BUT WHY WOULD MY GRANDPARENTS PAY US TO GO LIVE WITH HIM
ISN'T IT JUST BREATHTAKING?
YOU'VE GOT A GOOD HEART.
MISS BLAIR IS OUT, MR. CHUCK.
CARTER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
BUYING YOU A DRINK.
AND WHO AM I?
THAT'S A SECRET I'LL NEVER TELL.
YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME.
X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.
SPRINGTIME ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE,
WHERE THE WINTER CHILL IS SUPPOSED TO BE SO LAST SEASON.
BUT WHEN MITTENS AND SCARVES ARE STILL ALL THE RAGE,
THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS JUST BUTTON UP
AND HOPE FOR WARMER DAYS,
BUDAPEST, BUCHAREST, DUBROVNIK...
AH, THERE'S NOTHING LIKE SUMMER IN THE EASTERN BLOC.
JUST A EURAIL PASS AND A BACKPACK
FULL OF FAILED SOCIALIST POLICIES.
(laughs) AND NATE. THE VIENNA STATE OPERA ONE DAY,
PIEROGIES IN POLAND THE NEXT.
NO MAP, NO RESERVATIONS, JUST TOTAL FREEDOM,
PROBABLY NOT AS EXCITED
AS HE IS ABOUT OUR DAY OF COLLEGE BASKETBALL.
HEY, GUYS. HEY, THIS IS MY COUSIN TRIPP.
HI.
HI. DAN. NICE TO MEET YOU.
I'M TRYING TO CONVINCE NATE HERE TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE
AT THE FAMILY HOODOO THIS WEEKEND--
LUNCH TODAY, COCKTAIL PARTY TOMORROW.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. THAT'S FANTASTIC.
YEAH, WELL, YOU MISSED A LOT.
HEY, WHY DON'T YOU DROP BY?
GRANDFATHER WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU, TOO.
YOU KNOW, I APPRECIATE IT, TRIPP.
OKAY, I CAN TAKE A HINT.
CALL ME IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, ALL RIGHT?
THANKS, MAN. IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.
NICE TO MEETING YOU, TRIPP.
YOU--YOU'RE GONNA SKIP OUT ON YOUR FAMILY REUNION?
NO, LISTEN, MAN, I'M NOT GONNA GO PRETEND TO BOND
WITH THE PEOPLE WHO SHUT ME AND MY MOM OUT
WHEN MY DAD GOT BUSTED. LET'S GO INSIDE. THE GAME'S STARTING.
(phone vibrates)
HELLO, SWEETHEART.
CHUCK, I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR MY PHONE ALL MORNING.
WELL, IF SHE'S NOT CALLING YOU BACK,
I WENT TO SEE HER LAST WEEK. SHE NEVER CAME HOME.
IT'S NOT LIKE OUR GIRL TO BE OUT ALL NIGHT.
I KNOW SOMETHING'S GOING ON.
THIS IS MORE THAN HER HAVING HER DIRTY LAUNDRY
AIRED ON "GOSSIP GIRL."
SHE, UM...
SHE GOT REJECTED BY YALE.
THE ONLY THING SHE WANTED MORE THAN ME.
THAT WOULD BE PAINFUL.
CHUCK, SHE'S EMBARRASSED, SO WE JUST NEED
UGH.
(phone beeps)
BLAIR, HEY, IT'S ME.
NOW HERE'S AN EXTRAORDINARY NEW PIECE
I CAN GET FROM A PRIVATE COLLECTOR--
I THOUGHT PERHAPS FOR THE BEDROOM.
OH, I AGREE. IT'S PERFECT.
OH, EXCUSE ME ONE MOMENT.
HELLO, RUFUS.
OH, I WISH I COULD TALK, MY DARLING,
BUT I'M RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING.
OKAY. BYE.
LILY... I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR HANDLING THIS SO GRACEFULLY...
THE WHOLE RUFUS THING...
THE WHOLE "RUFUS AND I USED TO DATE" THING?
OH, GOD. PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M NOT PUTTING
AN ENORMOUS FOOT IN MY MOUTH.
WELL, OF COURSE HE DID. IT'S FINE.
SO YOU WERE THINKING ABOVE THE BED?
I THINK IT'LL LOOK FANTASTIC THERE.
I FIGURED OUT THE SPLIT SCREEN.
ALL RIGHT. NOW WE CAN WATCH ALL FOUR GAMES AT ONCE.
(man speaking indistinctly on TV)
WHAT WERE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?
ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO YOUR FAMILY REUNION?
WE KNOW THEY WEREN'T COOL TO YOU AND YOUR MOM, BUT, I MEAN,
YEAH, WELL, UNLESS HE'S ARMED WITH AN ENGRAVED APOLOGY
NATE, THEY'RE MAKING AN EFFORT.
YEAH, SURE THEY'RE MAKING AN EFFORT NOW.
YOU'VE TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR SUMMERS WITH YOUR COUSINS,
ABOUT YOUR GRANDFATHER TEACHING YOU TO SAIL,
HOW MUCH YOU USED TO LOOK FORWARD TO CHRISTMAS.
YOU LOVED THEM. NOW IF YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO, FINE.
BUT DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T CARE.
SHE WASN'T MY GIRLFRIEND.
WE JUST WENT OUT A FEW TIMES.
YOU MIGHT HAVE MENTIONED THAT,
CONSIDERING THAT SHE WORKS FOR ME.
IT WAS HUMILIATING.
WELL, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU.
YOU KNOW, IT'S A SHAME WE NEVER SEE EACH OTHER.
ARE THERE ANY OTHER EXES I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT--
I'M SORRY. BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I EVER ASKED YOU TO MAKE A LIST
YES, WELL, I'D BE HAPPY TO MAKE ONE.
DO YOU THINK I WOULDN'T?
I DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. I THINK WE SHOULD JUST DROP IT.
LILY.
LOOK, YOU CLEARLY HAVE SOME IDEA ABOUT MY PAST
AND I'D PREFER TO DISPEL, AND THIS WAY I WON'T BE
BLINDSIDED AGAIN UNLESS, OF COURSE, THERE'S SOMETHING
THAT YOU DON'T WANT KNOWN.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY. TONIGHT, THEN, AT DINNER.
BE READY.
THIS HAS DISASTER WRITTEN ALL OVER IT.
(Jonathan Korszyk) ♪ TRYING NOT TO FALL APART ♪
HEY.
(sighs)
OH! WHAT?
NATE, YOU SAID IT WAS A MANSION, NOT A COUNTRY CLUB.
NATE... CHANGED YOUR MIND.
SIX TIMES, ACTUALLY.
HI.
HEY, TRIPP.
(helicopter whirring)
IT'S FLYING LOW. THERE MUST BE A HOSPITAL NEARBY.
IT'S NOT A MEDEVAC. IT'S, UH, GRANDFATHER'S RIDE.
WAIT. I THOUGHT THIS WAS HIS IDEA.
NOT EXACTLY.
SO I CAME TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE,
AND HE DIDN'T EVEN WANT ONE?
NATE, WAIT. YOU'VE COME THIS FAR.
COME ON.
(speaks indistinctly)
NATHANIEL.
I'M SO DELIGHTED YOU'RE HERE.
MY BOY!
(laughs)
WE'VE MISSED YOU.
LOOKS LIKE V. IS LEADING A LOST LAMB BACK TO THE FLOCK.
AND C. IS COMING TO B., SHEEPISHLY BEARING GIFTS.
I WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE SOONER.
I STOPPED TO PICK UP A LITTLE SOMETHING.
HOW THOUGHTFUL.
SERENA THINKS YOU'RE IN SOME KIND OF TROUBLE.
SEEMS TO ME YOUR ONLY PROBLEM IS HAVING A PARTY
ALL BY YOUR LONESOME.
EXCEPT SHE'S NOT ALONE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS INSECT?
HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELL, AS MUCH AS I ENJOY BURSTING YOUR BUBBLE,
HE'S JUST USING YOU TO GET AT ME.
ASK HIM ABOUT HIS ROLE AS A KIDNAPPER
FOR A CERTAIN SECRET GENTLEMAN'S CLUB.
I SHOULD KNOW. I HAD HIM EXPELLED.
OH, PLEASE. ALL I DID IS BRING THAT GIRL
TO A WAITING PILE OF CASH, WHICH I UNDERSTAND
SHE GLADLY TOOK BEFORE LEAVING TOWN...
WITHOUT YOU.
BLAIR... THIS GUY--
WHAT? DISHONEST?
BAD NEWS?
I'M THE ONE TRYING TO HELP YOU.
HELP ME? IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE DOING
AT YOUR LITTLE GENTLEMAN'S CLUB
WHILE MY LIFE WAS GOING UP IN FLAMES?
I'D RATHER TAKE CARTER'S HELP.
WE HEAR CARTER BAIZEN'S DEALT CHUCK ANOTHER LOSING HAND.
BUT REST ASSURED, UPPER EAST SIDERS,
CHUCK ALWAYS HAS A CARD UP HIS SLEEVE.
GOVERNOR HAMILTON VAN DER BILT.
A FAMILY HISTORY OF DISTINGUISHED PUBLIC SERVICE.
AND IT ALL BEGAN WITH JOHANNES VAN DER BILT.
HE CAME TO AMERICA 250 YEARS AGO.
YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHY WE'RE PROUD TO BE CELEBRATING
OUR FAMILY'S ANNIVERSARY THIS WEEKEND.
WE STARTED WITH ALMOST NOTHING.
FINALLY SOMETHING I CAN RELATE TO.
AND NOW ALL THIS.
OR NOT.
NATHANIEL, LET'S SHOW YOUR FRIENDS
THE PRESIDENTIAL MEDALS OF FREEDOM.
(whispers) FINALLY!
SO TELL ME, NATHANIEL, WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS NEXT YEAR?
WELL, I'M WAITING TO HEAR BACK FROM COLLEGES.
THE ONLY THING IS, WHEN EVERYTHING WENT DOWN
WITH MY FATHER, IT WAS AROUND THE TIME APPLICATIONS WERE DUE.
SO I DIDN'T EXACTLY KNOCK THE ESSAYS OUT OF THE PARK.
HMM. ANOTHER UNFORTUNATE BY-PRODUCT
OF THAT REGRETTABLE SITUATION,
WHICH, I MIGHT ADD, YOU HANDLED ADMIRABLY.
ADMIRABLY?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASHAMED OF ME.
OH, ON THE CONTRARY. I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD.
YOU STOOD BY YOUR MOTHER.
YOU GOT YOUR FATHER TO DO WHAT WAS RIGHT.
I USED TO WORRY THAT, UM, YOU GOT HER LOOKS AND HIS BRAINS,
(chuckles)
YOU'RE A PART OF THIS LEGACY, TOO, NATHANIEL.
SO... WHO'S UP FOR SOME TOUCH FOOTBALL?
COME ON.
♪♪
DO YOU KNOW HOW EXHAUSTING IT'S BEEN
BEING BLAIR WALDORF FOR THE PAST 18 YEARS--
YOU MEAN PLOTTING?
YES, EXACTLY. I'M GLAD IT ALL BLEW UP IN MY FACE.
IT WAS A WAKE-UP CALL. I WAS SUCH AN OVERACHIEVER,
I WAS HEADED FOR A QUARTERLIFE CRISIS AT 18.
OH, B., YOU'VE HAD A COUPLE OF SETBACKS,
BUT THERE MUST STILL BE A WAY TO GET INTO A GREAT COLLEGE,
NO, S., I'VE LEARNED THE HARD WAY.
I CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING, PLAN EVERYTHING.
NOW WITH CARTER'S HELP, I'M TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
IN FACT, IF I'M SOMEWHERE, AND I CAN SAY,
"BLAIR WALDORF WOULD NEVER DO THAT,"
GUESS WHAT?
I'LL DO IT.
B.? B., YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THOSE.
SO CALL SECURITY.
(sighs)
(beeping)
HEY. WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
LET ME GUESS--CARTER BAIZEN?
AS USUAL, YOU'RE A STEP BEHIND.
True.
UNFORTUNATELY, MY P.I. HAS YET TO DIG UP AN UNPAID CREDITOR
TELL HIM YOU WANT TO SEE HIM.
WHY? WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
JUST DO IT.
(Lily) DID YOU AND BLAIR FIND ANYTHING YOU LIKE AT V.B.H.?
WELL, BLAIR CERTAINLY DID. ARE YOU REORGANIZING?
OH, NO. JUST REMINISCING.
WHY IS BART'S NAME NEXT TO TRENT REZNOR AND THE KLAUSES?
IT'S, UM--
IT'S--
IT'S A LONG STORY BETWEEN ME AND RUFUS.
WELL, WE AGREED TO BE UP-FRONT WITH EACH OTHER.
UP-FRONT? OKAY, BUT, MOM, IT'S GONNA TAKE HIM 20 MINUTES
TO GET THROUGH THE '90s ALONE.
I KNOW. I KNOW.
WE GOT INTO THIS TIFF BECAUSE HE HADN'T TOLD ME HE DATED BEX.
AND THEN THE NEXT THING I KNOW, I WAS SAYING YES TO LISTS.
AND HOW AM I GONNA BACK OUT NOW?
BESIDES, I'M NOT ASHAMED OF MY PAST...
MOST OF IT, ANYWAY.
DO YOU THINK HE'LL JUDGE?
I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST SNEAK A PEEK AT HIS LITTLE BLACK BOOK
BEFORE YOU DROP THE YELLOW PAGES ON HIM.
OKAY.
SLASH? SERIOUSLY?
(MGMT's "Kids" playing)
(grunts)
♪ YOU WERE A CHILD ♪
♪ CRAWLIN' ON YOUR KNEES TOWARD HIM ♪
WHAT, THERE'S NO PENALTY?
YOU WANT ME TO CALL THAT?
I THOUGHT THIS WAS TOUCH, NOT RUGBY.
I FORGOT HOW THE VAN DER BILTS LIKE TO PLAY FOOTBALL.
NO. NO, NO, NO. PLAY.
♪ WE LIKE TO WATCH YOU LAUGHIN' ♪
♪ YOU'RE PICKIN' INSECTS OFF PLANTS ♪
♪ NO TIME TO THINK OF CONSEQUENCES ♪
I REMEMBER MY FIRST TIME HERE.
INTIMIDATING.
I'M MAUREEN, TRIPP'S FIANCéE.
VANESSA. NICE TO MEET YOU.
AND "YES" ON THE INTIMIDATING FRONT.
I FEEL LIKE A REPUBLICAN AT THE KENNEDY COMPOUND.
OH, DON'T FRET. EVERYONE LOVES YOU.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I ASSUME YOU SAW THE HALL O' GOVERNORS?
POLITICS IS A VAN DER BILT BIRTHRIGHT.
AND WITH NATE'S CHARM AND YOUR BACKGROUND...
NATE MENTIONED YOU'RE KIND OF AN ACTIVIST IN YOUR COMMUNITY--
A DOCUMENTARY FILMMAKER?
OH, YEAH. WELL, I THINK YOU'VE BEEN MISINFORMED.
TRIPP WAS THE SAME WAY.
HE WANTED TO BE AN ARCHAEOLOGIST IN COLLEGE,
LIKE INDIANA JONES.
NOW HE'S LAW REVIEW AT YALE
AND ABOUT TO CLERK FOR THE SUPREME COURT.
GRANDFATHER CAN BE VERY PERSUASIVE.
♪ A FAMILY OF TREES WANTIN' ♪
♪ TO BE HAUNTED ♪
♪ CONTROL YOURSELF ♪
♪ TAKE ONLY WHAT YOU NEED FROM IT ♪
(speaks indistinctly)
WELCOME TO THE NEXT 30 YEARS.
♪♪
(chuckles) I'M SURPRISED.
YOU WAVED THE WHITE FLAG SO SOON.
AH. GOES DOWN ALMOST AS EASY AS YOU DID.
(puts down glass)
INITIALLY, YES. THOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT, BLAIR SURPRISED ME.
(chuckles) THAT GIRL CERTAINLY KNOWS HOW TO LET LOOSE.
VICTORY NEVER TASTED SO SWEET.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, DO YOU MIND IF I TAKE THIS?
BLAIR'S MEETING ME AT A PARTY, AND IT'S NOT THE KIND OF PLACE
ACTUALLY, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE MAKING THAT.
WHAT'S THIS? GOOD COP/BASS COP?
BLAIR NEEDS TO REGROUP, SO YOU NEED TO BID ADIEU.
DUBAI AGAIN?
(laughs) NICE TRY, BUT I'M HAVING TOO MUCH FUN.
NOTHING'S GONNA GET ME TO LEAVE TOWN.
WHAT ABOUT SANTORINI?
DO YOU THINK BLAIR WILL WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THAT?
THE GREEK GUY--SPIROS? THE GREEK POLICE?
I STILL HAVE ALL OF THEIR PHONE NUMBERS
FROM WHEN THEY QUESTIONED ME.
YOU WOULDN'T.
I WOULD,
BUT I WON'T IF YOU LEAVE TOWN NOW,
THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I COULD HOLD OVER YOUR HEAD
FROM THAT TRIP.
BUT CONSIDER US EVEN.
IF THE TWO OF YOU THINK THAT GETTING RID OF ME
IS GONNA MAGICALLY CHANGE BACK YOUR FRIEND, THINK AGAIN.
I'M JUST A SYMPTOM OF THE DISEASE, NOT THE CAUSE.
WHAT HAPPENED IN SANTORINI?
LET'S FIND BLAIR. I WANT TO MAKE SURE SHE'S OKAY.
SPOTTED--B. TAKING ONE SMALL STEP FOR NEW BLAIR...
(buzzes)
ONE GIANT STEP TOWARDS A STRANGE TOWNHOUSE.
ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK, B.
HELLO.
WE'VE TOUCHED ON THE WEATHER.
I THINK WE'VE MADE A CLEAN SWEEP OF ALL POSSIBLE SMALL TALK.
(clears throat) I THINK WE SHOULD JUST GET IT OVER WITH
I WILL, UH, GO FIRST.
IS IT ALL RIGHT?
YES, OF COURSE. UM...
AND... THIS IS THE WHOLE THING?
THAT'S IT.
OKAY. WELL, THEN, THAT'S JUST, UH...
OKAY, I'LL JUST GET MINE.
(clears throat)
OH?
(chuckles)
OH, HERE I AM.
(exhales) I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST, WELL, I'M-- I'M RELIEVED...
OH, NO.
IT'S JUST YOU'VE DATED MORE PEOPLE THAN I HAVE,
AND I WASN'T SURE THAT WE'D BE IN THE SAME BALLPARK.
ME, TOO. I'LL GET DESSERT.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
IT'S CALLED, UH, GETTING TO KNOW THE VAN DER BILTS.
TURNED OUT TO BE LESS "GATSBY" AND MORE "FIGHT CLUB."
OOH, OOH. OOH, OOH. DON'T WORRY. I'M OKAY. I'M FINE.
WELL, YOU'D BETTER RECOVER BY TOMORROW.
NATE TOLD HIS GRANDFATHER
OH, RECEPTION AT THE COUNTRY HOUSE.
THAT'S VERY BLAZER AND CHINOS. DO YOU WANT ME TO OVERNIGHT YOU
THANKS, NO. COULD YOU GET ME SOMETHING FOR MY ANKLE?
SURE.
SO? SPILL IT.
SPILL WHAT?
COME ON, THE MINUTE WE DROPPED NATE OFF, YOU JUST--
WHAT LOOK? I DON'T HAVE A LOOK.
HE'S RIGHT. YOU DEFINITELY HAVE THE LOOK.
YOU'RE RIGHT. THANK YOU.
FINE. WHEN I ENCOURAGED NATE TO RECONNECT WITH HIS FAMILY,
I HAD NO IDEA IT CAME WITH SUCH EXPECTATIONS.
AND IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE NATE'S GRANDFATHER
THEY'RE THE VAN DER BILTS, NOT THE CORLEONES.
THIS MAY SOUND SILLY. IT'S JUST I DON'T WANT NATE
TO GET PUSHED IN TO THE FAMILY SAUSAGE GRINDER
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL HIM THAT?
BECAUSE HE JUST GOT HIS GRANDFATHER BACK IN HIS LIFE,
AND HE SEEMS REALLY HAPPY.
AND THE LAST THING I'D WANT TO DO IS SAY SOMETHING
NATE'S A PRETTY UNDERSTANDING GUY
WHEN HE'S NOT MAIMING PEOPLE ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHE'S NOT HERE?
LOOK, YOU HAVE TO TELL US WHERE SHE IS.
I AM SORRY, BUT MISS BLAIR VERY SPECIFIC--
NO TELL MISS SERENA, NO TELL MR. CHUCK.
BUT IF MR. CHUCK COME, TELL HIM MR. CARTER
ENOUGH. I'M NOT GOING TO PLAY WHERE'S WALDORF? ALL NIGHT.
HOW MUCH?
(speaking Polish)
DOROTA, DOROTA, PLEASE.
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT BLAIR HAS CHANGED?
YES. IT IS OLD MISS BLAIR THEN NEW MISS BLAIR,
LIKE IT WAS OLD MISS SERENA, NOW NEW MISS SERENA.
OKAY. OKAY. BLAIR IS AT A PARTY RIGHT NOW ALONE
WITH SOME VERY BAD PEOPLE. WE JUST WANT TO HELP HER.
PLEASE.
I KNOW GRANDFATHER'S PRETTY STRONG-WILLED,
BUT IF YOU'RE WORRIED I'M GONNA BE PUSHED INTO ANYTHING,
BECAUSE I AM REALLY HAPPY
THAT YOU'VE RECONNECTED WITH YOUR FAMILY. JUST--
HEY, HEY, HEY. NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE.
(One Silver Astronaut) ♪ IT'S JUST THE FAULT OF MAN ♪
(cell phone vibrating)
HOLD ON JUST ONE SECOND. HEY, TRIPP. WHAT'S GOING ON?
WAIT. WHERE, IN THE CITY?
I'D LOVE TO, BUT I'M ON A DATE RIGHT NOW.
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, JUST TELL GRANDFATHER I SAID I'M SORRY.
ALL RIGHT, THANKS, MAN. BYE.
YOU SHOULD GO MEET THEM.
BUT WE'RE EATING PIEROGIES.
WE'LL DO THE REAL THING THIS SUMMER IN WARSAW
SUMMER PIEROGIE TOUR '09.
(laughs) I CAN'T WAIT.
♪♪
OKAY.
♪ 'CAUSE WE AREN'T LISTENING ♪
DON'T FORGET WE HAVE THE PARTY TOMORROW.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
HAVE FUN.
(girl) MAY I HELP YOU?
GREAT.
LOOKS LIKE POLANSKI'S IN TOWN.
BLAIR.
CHUCK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MISS WALDORF, AS I WAS SAYING,
I MET WITH YOU AS A FAVOR TO YOUR HEADMISTRESS.
BUT SARAH LAWRENCE CANNOT ACCEPT SOMEONE WHO HAS HAZED A TEACHER.
(lowered voice) DEAN WHEELER?
(lowered voice) LOOKS LIKE WE MAY HAVE MADE AN ERROR.
COLLEGES STOPPED ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS MONTHS AGO.
PLEASE? I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER OPTIONS.
I'M SORRY, BUT YOU HAVE MY ANSWER.
B. B., WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?
WHAT, THAT I WAS COMING TO DEBASE MYSELF
BY BEGGING TO BE ACCEPTED AT SARAH LAWRENCE?
GEE, YOU'RE RIGHT. WHY DIDN'T I UPDATE MY FACEBOOK PAGE?
I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T GIVE UP.
YOU'RE WRONG. I JUST DID. DON'T FOLLOW ME!
POOR B. COULDN'T SPIN THIS ONE IN HER FAVOR.
LOOKS LIKE NOW SHE'S SPINNING OUT.
♪♪
(Serena) WHY ARE WE CRASHING NATE'S FAMILY REUNION?
AND WHY WOULD BLAIR BE HERE?
WELL, DOROTA TIPPED ME OFF. SHE'S COMING.
MAYBE SHE'S READY TO RELAUNCH HERSELF INTO BLUE BLOOD SOCIETY.
BLAIR!
I FEEL GREAT.
WHY?
BECAUSE I REALIZED THAT WHILE WE CAN'T TEAR OUT
A SINGLE PAGE OF OUR LIFE,
WE CAN THROW THE WHOLE BOOK IN THE FIRE.
GEORGE SAND. SHE UNDERSTANDS ME.
AND WHAT BETTER PLACE TO GO UP IN SMOKE
THAN IN FRONT OF THE CRèME DE LA CRèME
BLAIR WALDORF.
HOW ARE YOU, DEAR?
I HEARD YOU'VE REJECTED THE COLONY CLUB.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR TASTES INCLUDE SLEEPING
WITH YOUR DRIVER AND POPPING PRESCRIPTION MEDS.
NOT GOOD--LIKE DAN HAVING SEX WITH RACHEL CARR
IN THE COSTUME CLOSET DURING THE SCHOOL PLAY, NOT GOOD?
BY THE END OF TONIGHT, THE OLD BLAIR WALDORF
WILL BE DEAD AND BURIED WITH NO CHANCE OF RESURRECTION.
HEY, YOU, GARçON WITH THE BUBBLE BUTT. ARRêT!
OH, WOW. THAT WAS...
YEAH. GO FIND DAN.
I'LL MAKE SURE THIS SOCIAL EULOGY DOESN'T GET OUT OF HAND.
THANKS, CHUCK.
♪♪
SECURITY CHECK? I CAN'T EVEN PUT MY LIPSTICK IN HERE.
WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY BE TRYING TO SNEAK IN?
I DON'T KNOW. LIBERAL AGENDA?
UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE? EDUCATION REFORM?
INCREASE IN THE ESTATE TAX?
(camera shutter snaps)
WELL...
AH, YES, I DID. THANK YOU. IT FITS PERFECTLY.
OF COURSE IT DOES. GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US AGAIN, DANIEL.
OH, NO, NO. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A FOOTBALL INJURY
TOUCH FOOTBALL INJURY?
WOULD YOU TWO MIND IF I BORROWED HIM FOR A WHILE?
NO, YOU TWO GO AND TALK AND WE'LL, UM,
CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER.
DRINKS.
MM. YOU THINK THE HUMPHREYS HAVE A CREST? MAYBE SOMETHING
JENNY COULD STITCH ON TO ONE OF MY CARDIGANS?
AND, UH, DON'T FORGET THE EGG ROLLS.
VERY IMPORTANT.
ALL RIGHT, THANKS.
LIL?
DO YOU HAVE, UH, CASH FOR TIP?
(Lily in distance) RUFUS, DO YOU NEED SOMETHING?
(sighs) HOW ABOUT THE TRUTH?
VANESSA.
HEY. HEY.
TRIPP. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE HAVING FUN.
TOP-SHELF ALL THE WAY.
(chuckles)
SO YOU EXCITED FOR NATE'S BIG ADVENTURE THIS SUMMER?
HE TOLD YOU ABOUT OUR BACKPACKING TRIP?
I WAS TALKING ABOUT
THE INTERNSHIP AT THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.
IT'S WHY WILLIAM WANTED NATE TO MEET HIM LAST NIGHT.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
THERE MUST BE A MISUNDERSTANDING.
NATE AND I ARE TRAVELING THIS SUMMER.
YEAH.
I-I GUESS THERE MUST BE.
♪♪
HEY.
(kisses)
ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO ME?
WHO TOLD YOU?
TRIPP.
(scoffs)
NOW HERE'S THE PART WHERE YOU TELL ME
THAT YOU TOLD YOUR GRANDFATHER
YOU ALREADY MADE PLANS FOR THE SUMMER.
NO, YOU HAVEN'T.
IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.
THEN TELL ME WHAT IT'S LIKE, BECAUSE TWO DAYS AGO
YOU WERE SO EXCITED TO GET AWAY FROM EVERYTHING,
I KNOW, AND I STILL AM, OKAY?
BUT IT IS AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY.
FOR WHAT? TO TURN INTO TRIPP?
IS THAT WHO YOU WANNA BE IN FIVE YEARS?
I DON'T KNOW WHO I WANT TO BECOME IN THE NEXT FIVE YEARS.
IF THIS IS SOMETHING I HONESTLY THOUGHT YOU WANTED,
I'D BE HAPPY FOR YOU. BUT CAN YOU REALLY TELL ME
AS OPPOSED TO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO?
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
IT'S JUST...
MY GRANDFATHER BELIEVES IN ME.
(indistinct conversations)
OH!
WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
NO. IT'S A SHAME, THOUGH.
(clink)
OH, YOU MUST HAVE HER CALL ME. GERALD AND I JUST GOT ENGAGED,
AW. SURE.
THOUGH, I THINK SHE DISCONTINUED HER "THIRD-TRIP-DOWN-THE-AISLE-
OH, BLAIR. I THINK YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK.
OH, YOU WOULD KNOW. THREE D.U.I.s NOW, IS IT?
NOW THAT I BLAME YOU.
HER WAY TO ESCAPE THE WHISPERS THAT YOU MADE YOUR MONEY
IN ADULT ENTERTAINMENT WEB SITES.
BYE.
(lowered voice) BIG FAN OF YOUR SITES.
YOU ABOUT DONE?
NO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
TRYING TO DESTROY THE OLD YOU, BURN EVERY BRIDGE?
IT WON'T HELP. BELIEVE ME. I'VE TRIED.
WELL, MAYBE I SHOULD HEAD UP TO THE ROOF,
THIS ISN'T YOU.
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU BETTER THAN I KNOW MYSELF.
OH, RIGHT.
YOU CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME...
CAN'T YOU, CHUCK?
RIGHT TO MY CORE.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW THE REAL ME?
THE BLAIR THAT DANCED FOR YOU THAT NIGHT AT VICTROLA?
THE BLAIR WITH NONE OF THE HANG-UPS,
NONE OF THE FRUSTRATIONS--
THAT'S THE BLAIR RIGHT HERE.
(whispers) TAKE ME NOW.
WHY?
TO PROVE THAT NOTHING MATTERS.
NO.
THIS ISN'T YOU.
IT'S NOT THE BLAIR I WANT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THE DANGER WITH CALLING SOMEONE'S BLUFF
IS THAT EVEN IF YOU WIN...
GOOD-BYE, CHUCK.
YOU RISK THEM WALKING AWAY FROM THE TABLE FOR GOOD.
AND WHO LIKES TO PLAY WITH THEMSELVES?
HEY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, HERE.
TAKE THAT.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU BROUGHT ME HERE?
WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING?
WE WERE, LIKE--
12 OR 13.
(chuckles)
(voice breaking) WE USED TO TALK ABOUT OUR FUTURE.
HOW PERFECT EVERYTHING WOULD BE.
REMEMBER?
YEAH.
(whispers) WHAT HAPPENED?
(crying) WHEN DID....
EVERYTHING GET SO SCREWED UP?
THIS ISN'T HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE.
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE,
WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO.
I FEEL SO...
LOST.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU USED TO MAKE US
WATCH YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES OVER AND OVER AGAIN?
LIKE "TIFFANY'S" AND "HOLIDAY"?
IT USED TO DRIVE ME NUTS.
IS THIS A PEP TALK?
WELL, I FINALLY ASKED YOU
WHY YOU LIKED WATCHING MOVIES YOU'VE ALREADY SEEN,
AND YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID?
I LIKE KNOWING HOW THINGS ARE GONNA TURN OUT.
EXACTLY.
YOU KNOW, GROWING UP, I NEVER KNEW WHO I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE...
SO I'D SPEND ALL MY TIME APOLOGIZING FOR THE PRIVILEGE
AND THE WEALTH
AND THE OPPORTUNITIES
I FELT OTHER PEOPLE DESERVED MORE THAN I DID.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M FINALLY LEARNING?
YOU CAN'T FIGHT AGAINST WHO YOU ARE.
AND YOU ARE BLAIR WALDORF.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE NATE ARCHIBALD
WHO JUST WANTED TO GET HIGH AND PLAY "HALO"?
(laughs)
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, I BETTER, UM,
I BETTER HEAD INSIDE.
NATE.
DON'T FORGET YOUR JACKET.
THANK YOU.
(slap)
WHOA. UH... (chuckles) WHOA. WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
I DON'T KNOW, NEWLAND ARCHER. TRY TO RACK YOUR BRAIN A LITTLE.
BLAIR TOLD YOU ABOUT ME AND RACHEL.
WELL, YOU AND I WERE BROKEN UP.
SHE WASN'T MY TEACHER.
NO, SHE WAS MINE, AND YOU SLEPT WITH HER AT SCHOOL,
DURING A PLAY, WITH ME PROBABLY 20 FEET AWAY.
OKAY, RIGHT. YEAH.
YEAH, WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT... MM.
WHAT?
(chuckles) WHY ARE YOU SMILING?
I DON'T KNOW. I AM MAD, BUT THAT WAS INVIGORATING.
(chuckles) WELL, THAT'S GOOD. IT'S GOOD TO KNOW
(cell phone camera shutter snapping)
OH, AND LOOK. THAT'S WONDERFUL. I'LL BE SURE TO CHECK THAT OUT
ON BitchSlappedAgain.com LATER.
LET'S GO GET YOU ICE.
THIS LOOKS GREAT. AND YOU REMEMBERED THE EGG ROLLS.
MAKE SURE I ONLY EAT A FEW.
I'M GONNA FEEL GUILTY.
NOT LIKELY.
OKAY. ENOUGH. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?
LET'S JUST PRETEND LIKE THIS NEVER HAPPENED.
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
NO KIDDING, WHICH IS WHY I DIDN'T SHOW YOU
YOUR LIST WAS A DOZEN PEOPLE.
13, AND I'M NOT EMBARRASSED ABOUT MY PAST.
NO, YOU'RE JUST EMBARRASSED ABOUT MINE.
WHEN YOU SAW THE CONDENSED VERSION,
YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE RELIEVED.
SO... I THINK WE FOUND OUT
EVERYTHING WE NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT EACH OTHER.
HEY.
HEY. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.
ABOUT BEFORE,
WHAT I FORGOT TO TELL YOU IS...
I BELIEVE IN YOU, TOO,
JUST... A DIFFERENT YOU.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?
AS WE CELEBRATE OUR FAMILY'S PAST THIS WEEKEND,
WE ALSO LOOK TO ITS FUTURE.
OUR GRANDSON, NATHANIEL,
IS GRADUATING FROM ST. JUDE'S THIS YEAR,
AND, I'M PROUD TO ANNOUNCE,
HAS BEEN OFFERED AN INTERNSHIP IN THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.
I'M SORRY.
WELL, OUR FAMILY HAS MANY TRADITIONS.
SOME, LIKE TOUCH FOOTBALL,
COME AT A STEEPER PRICE THAN OTHERS.
(laughter)
BUT WHAT THEY ALL HAVE IN COMMON
IS COMMITMENT TO BRINGING OUT THE BEST IN YOURSELF,
YOUR POTENTIAL,
EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT IS.
I HOPE TO FIND OUT...
THIS SUMMER IN THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.
YES. THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
CALL YOUR TRAVEL AGENT, KIDDIES.
LOOKS LIKE NATE ARCHIBALD TRADED IN A SUMMER OF LOVE
FOR A ONE-WAY TICKET TO HIS LEGACY.
HEY. YOU LEFT EARLY. WHAT HAPPENED WITH BLAIR?
(sighs)
CHUCK?
OKAY. FINE. HAVE FUN DRINKING BY YOURSELF.
I'M LOSING HER.
WELL, THEN FIGHT FOR HER. SHE DID FOR YOU.
I TRIED.
I FAILED.
WELL, THEN TRY AGAIN.
SHE'S SCARED, CHUCK.
HER PLAN HASN'T WORKED OUT FOR HER,
AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT.
IF YOU WANT TO BE BACK IN HER LIFE,
MAKE HER FEEL SAFE.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS BROKE UP.
WE DIDN'T EXACTLY BREAK UP. OR MAYBE WE DID. I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST LEFT. IT WAS BAD, WHATEVER IT WAS.
WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF UPPER EAST SIDE GRANDPARENTS.
I'VE GONE UP AGAINST THEM MYSELF,
AND THEY'RE A LOT TOUGHER THAN THEY LOOK.
SO WHAT DO I DO?
WELL... (sighs) JUST GIVE HIM SOME SPACE.
I MEAN, HE NEEDS TIME TO WORK THROUGH EVERYTHING.
(sniffles) OKAY.
YEAH, SPACE IS KEY.
I MEAN, YOU GUYS BELONG TOGETHER.
GOD, I'M HUNGRY.
(sniffles) WHY DO RICH PEOPLE INSIST ON TINY FOOD?
WELL, THAT'S HOW THEY STAY RICH. THEY ONLY BUY SMALL FOOD.
(laughs) OKAY, MUSIC.
OH.
HEY, LISTEN.
IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
(elevator bell dings)
I THOUGHT YOU'D LEFT.
I DID.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TRY IT AGAIN?
MAYBE THIS TIME IT WILL TAKE.
I MADE A NEW LIST.
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
MURPHY'S 2-FOR-1 FRIDAYS?
"ROMANCE NOVELS,
SONOMA CABERNETS, CHRISTMAS TREE ORNAMENTS"...
THAT'S THE ONLY LIST I NEED TO KNOW--
THINGS THAT YOU MAKE YOU HAPPY OR SAD OR CRAZY.
ALTHOUGH THAT LAST ONE WOULD BE KIND OF HARD TO CONDENSE.
JUST KNOW THAT I'M--I'M SORRY.
WHY?
THIS WHOLE THING WAS MY FAULT.
I'M THE ONE THAT WANTED TO OPEN THE DOOR TO THE PAST.
WELL, CONSIDER IT CLOSED.
I DON'T GET IT.
I MEAN, I KNOW YOU WERE MARRIED FOR 18 YEARS,
BUT YOU WERE THE LEAD SINGER OF A NOT ENTIRELY UNPOPULAR BAND,
AND I REMEMBER BEAUTIFUL GIRLS
THROWING THEMSELVES AT YOU EVERY NIGHT.
THAT'S TRUE...
BUT THE MAJORITY OF THAT TIME,
I WAS PINING FOR... A CERTAIN BLONDE PHOTOJOURNALIST.
SPRINGTIME--A SEASON FOR REBIRTH AND NEW BEGINNINGS.
FOR SOME, IT'S A CHANCE TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF...
I TOLD DOORMAN NO VISITORS.
MR. CHUCK...
IT'S LATE.
(sighs) I JUST NEED A MOMENT OF HER TIME.
MISS BLAIR ASLEEP.
I'M SORRY.
CAN YOU TELL HER THAT I STOPPED BY
AND THAT I HAVE SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL HER?
I WILL, IN MORNING.
(Home Video's "I Can Make You Feel It" playing)
♪♪
♪ SHE SAYS SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT ♪
THANK YOU FOR MAKING SURE I GOT HOME OKAY.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE FINE,
WHICH YOU ARE, SO...
I SHOULD GO.
WAIT.
FOR OTHERS, IT'S THE SURPRISE OF SEEING SOMETHING BLOOM.
STAY.
♪ I CAN MAKE YOU FEEL IT ♪
♪ MAKE YOU FEEL IT ♪
♪ I CAN MAKE YOU FEEL IT ♪
BUT FOR YOURS TRULY,
IT'S A REMINDER THAT ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE,
EVERYTHING OLD CAN BE NEW AGAIN.
X.O.X.O, GOSSIP GIRL.