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So, I'm happy to be here.
It's very nice to see all of you.
You're all looking well.
Today's a Women in the Workplace thing.
Jan's coming in from corporate,
to talk to all the women about
I don't really know what.
But, Michael's not allowed in.
She said that about five times.
Women today, though we
have the same options as men,
we often face a very
different set of obstacles
In getting there, so
- Hey, what's going on ?
- Michael, I
Yeah, you know what ? I just
I just have a few things I wanna say.
- What are you doing ?
- Just hear me out.
What is more important than quality ?
Equality.
Now, studies show that today's woman,
the Ally McBeal woman,
as I call her, is at a crossroads.
- Michael
- And, no, just
You have come a long way, baby.
But, I just wanna keep it within reason.
- They did this up in Albany.
- You are not allowed,
- in this session.
- And they
Into a lactation room,
which is disgusting.
Now you're really not
allowed in this session.
- I'm their boss, so I feel like
- I'm your boss.
- Anybody want any coffee ?
- We're fine, Michael.
We just need you to leave please.
Women in the Workplace.
Yeah, translation, I have been banned
from my own conference room.
So that Jan can talk in
secret to all the girls.
Oh, sorry, "Women of the Workplace.
"
About what ? I don't know.
Clothes, me
Ladies, I am so, so sorry.
Can we start again ?
- We were on such a roll.
I really,
- Jan.
- apologize for that.
- Yes, Pam.
- Michael's still at the door.
- Michael!
Season 2 Episode 15
"BOYS AND GIRLS"
So, one obstacle is
how assertiveness is perceived
differently in men and women.
Men, who are assertive
tend to be admired.
They're calledanyone ?
That's a terrible idea.
What is ?
Them, in there all together.
They stay in there too long, they're
gonna get on the same cycle.
Wreak havoc on our plumbing.
Everyone, guys.
Circle up, please.
Come on over.
Bring your chairs.
Toby, come on over.
You're a guy too.
Sort of.
Let's do this.
Well, first of all, I,
just wanna warm up a little bit.
Let's just clap.
Let's just clap, ready ?
That's what I'm talking about!
I don't know what you're
doing here, Michael.
Just having a little "Guys in the
Workplace" kind of thing.
Why can't boys play with dolls ?
Why does society,
force us to use urinals when sitting
down is far more comfortable ?
Can you please do this
somewhere else, Michael ?
We have no where else, Jan.
This
We could do it in the warehouse.
Dwigt.
Excellent idea.
Go to the warehouse.
Fine.
Actually Perfect.
Perfect! You know what ?
There is another side to
this place, gentlemen.
And I know we all love our cushy
jobs and our fun, exciting office.
But do you realize that underneath us,
there is another world.
The warehouse world.
A world that is teeming with sweat,
and dirt and life.
Life.
The bowels of the office.
These guys are down there.
They are real men doing real man's work.
We are going to learn
how a warehouse works.
I think this is gonna work out great.
Because managing the warehouse
is a very important part of my job.
And I haven't been there in months.
Remember on "Lost",
when they met the Others ?
I'm so sorry about that.
So where are we ?
Pam, are you okay taking notes then ?
Please ? Thank you very much.
So let's meet the warehouse !
Let's get some shots.
Pan around there.
This is Darryl, one of our
warehouse staff.
- Darryl, what is your biggest fear ?
- My biggest fear is that someone will
distract us from getting
all the shipments out on time.
Darryl is actually the foreman
here, and not Roy.
Which is cool.
There's Roy, ridin' the big rig!
so Roy is actually going to be
marrying Pam sometime this summer.
And, uh, she's our receptionist.
Sort of a BrAngelina thing.
Why ?
BrAngelina is the Brad
Pitt and Angelina.
- I don't understand.
- Roy, Roy and Pam.
It's a Ram.
It's a Ram thing.
I bet Roy heard about you liking Pam.
I bet he'll try to beat you up.
Thanks for the heads-up, Kev.
I got your back if he does.
But try to stay out of it.
Just in case there's somebody down
here who shouldn't be.
A little "Good Will Hunting" situation.
All right, troops.
This is an important day.
A big day.
Now, you may look around
and see two groups here.
White-collar, blue-collar.
But I don't see it that way.
And you know why not ?
Because I am collar-blind.
Why don't we go around
the table and all say
something that we know we're good at.
I will start.
I am good
at public speaking.
Hi, I'm Meredith, and I'm an al
Good at supplier relations.
Great.
Phyllis.
I'm good at computer stuff.
E-mails, spreadsheets, all that.
Really ?
- I don't know.
I thought that
- No, okay, stop.
You know, I've seen some of your
spreadsheets.
And I almost always
I don't know how I fit
in with these women.
Here.
Or with Jan.
I mean, we get along great.
Fine.
I guess the person I have the
most in common with is.
Jim.
Halpert.
Heard there's a rumor
going around about, you know
you used to have a crush on Pam and
- Oh, no, no, no.
- No, no.
It's cool.
'Cause I know you're a good guy,
and I know that that crush
ended a long time ago,
so, you know.
We're cool, right ?
Yeah.
No, yeah, definitely.
You know, it's great with
me, 'cause that way
I'm glad she has a friend at work
she can get through the day with.
That way she's not all, "Bah, bah,"
you know, when she gets home.
- I like talking to her too.
- So, we're cool, right ?
- Yes, yeah.
- Good.
All right.
- Cool, man.
- Sweet.
Hey, Mike, look.
How about
we go upstairs, too ?
- Learn how an office works.
- Oh, well
We can both switch places for the day.
Yeah, you know what ? I don't, you're
My job sucks compared to this.
I don't think you'd like it up there.
Guys !
You wanna start unloading the truck ?
Okay, let's go.
Step up.
Check this out.
Look at that.
Look at that.
"Hello, how are"
O-kay.
That's great.
That is good stuff.
In five years, I'd like to be,
five years sober.
That is an excellent goal.
Four and a half.
I'll tell you one thing.
I am not
going to be one of those women
schlepping her kids around in a minivan.
Great.
I want an SUV with three rows of seats.
Well, I'll be honest.
One of the
goals of these women seminars
is to feel out if there's any standouts.
Women who could be valuable
addition to our corporate life.
Michael wants us to bond.
So we need topics for conversation.
- Ponies.
- No.
How about rainbows ?
- No.
- Flowers.
- No.
- Make-up.
Hey.
You're gonna hurt yourself.
- Stand clear.
- Mike, get off of the lift, please.
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
I m' fine
- Come on, now.
Would youlook.
Michael.
We'll get somebody
to clean that up.
We're da ones that gotta clean that up !
Damn it, Michael !
We have to have this thing serviced.
So, guys gripe session.
Here we are.
Now, we definitely live
in different worlds,
but we have a lot in common.
We even like the same girls, some of us.
And that's gonna happen.
You know, we're guys.
So
Hey do you want me to go ?
No why would I you could.
- I'll go.
- Stay, or
And a big, walk-in closet.
- That's part of my dream too.
- Oh, me too.
Great.
Great.
And, Pam, what about you ?
What is your dream ?
Well,
I always dreamed of a
house with a terrace upstairs.
Plant flowers on it, stuff like that.
Since I was a girl.
More seriously, though,
a husband that I love.
Roy.
And I love to draw.
And I, I did a little in college.
And I'd still love to do something,
where I could work with art
or graphic design in some way.
She's real good.
You know, the company is offering
a design training program in New York.
I have a job right now.
So I can't really take time off.
It's, it's only on weekends.
And then a few weeks in New York
But I'm sure that I could ask
corporate to help you out.
It's just that the weekends
aren't good because
There's always a million
reasons not to do something.
Let's start with the warehouse.
What bothers you as guys ?
- You know ?
- My priority is safety.
Okay.
So it really bothers me when somebody
comes in here speeding around on a lift,
playing with it like a toy.
It kind of gets under my skin, okay ?
- Don't-don't shush me.
- No, I
- That was just
- That bothers me too.
- Pam shushes me, it drives me crazy.
- I hate shushing, you know ?
That's the thing.
What, okay.
What is our beef as human men.
You know, that's a good
question, Hasselhoff.
- Okay.
All right.
- What bugs us ?
Good.
Guys raggin' on each other.
That's what guys do.
And we love it.
ll right, let's talk about clothing.
I'm excited about today.
I love girl talk.
Dress for the job you want,
not the job you have.
You can use your clothing to send
a message about your ambitions
by wearing clothes that reflect
what you aspire to be.
I'm not gaining anything
from this seminar.
I'm a professional woman.
The head of accounting.
I'm in the healthiest
relationship of my life.
I just think it's insulting that
Jan thinks we need this.
And apparently
judging from her outfit
Jan aspires to be a ***.
I hate it when girls insist
on taking them out
to new restaurants every weekend
night, and then they're like,
"When are we gonna go
on a date date ?"
Exactly !
That's so hard.
Yeah, and then they make you drive
'em to church the next morning.
Like, gas ain't free !
Yeah, on our salaries, man,
what do they expect, you know ?
What, "take us out every weekend" ?
You know what I mean ?
- We're not millionaires.
No you don't.
- I feel you.
You don't feel us.
How can you ?
You-you know what ?
- Not literally.
- You say we're the same,
but we get compensated
very differently.
- Yes.
- We work the same hours as you,
And you just said we work a lot harder.
- Uh, you do, so
- But we get paid a lot less.
- Word.
- Like, next to no benefits.
I know.
God, what is that ?!
- Exactly!
- It blows, it blows, man!
You know, this would not
happen if we had a union.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Yeah, no.
- Absolutely, that's what we need.
- Man, see.
That's what I been sayin', man.
We need to do this finally.
Is that necessary ? 'Cause you already
sort of have a union of guys.
It's more than necessary,
Mike.
We need this
Roy, you still have that card
from the dock workers union ?
- In my truck.
- Man, hook him up.
Come on, man !
Yeah.
You know what, I think the
problem is the chicks.
- Union, yeah !
- The problem is the chicks.
And you gotta blame them.
Are you with us, Mike ?
Welcome to the warehouse.
Another issue is inequality of
pay between men and women.
I'm sure that all of you have
delt with that before.
This is important.
Ladies, take a breather.
Jan I, wanted
Can I help you ?
I wanted to say that the guys downstairs
are thinking about forming a union.
- What ? A union.
I'm not.
- And they have some good points.
Part of my job is knowing
how to talk to women.
Let's be rational here.
What are the pros, what are the cons ?
The cons are that everyone will
lose their job, Micheal.
Everyone.
Office, warehouse.
What do you think the
pros are here ?
Don't talk to me that way,
please.
Just
They're gonna wanna
hear this from you.
You got yourself into
this, Michael, so
- Well, we're bonding down there.
- It's too bad.
I just don't wanna have to tell them
something they're not gonna wanna hear !
Come on, Jan.
After all we've been through.
- Michael, Michael.
- We have a history.
- Michael.
- We have a history.
Between us.
Don't say another word.
Get yourselfdownstairs.
I'm just saying that we have
something okay, whatever.
You know what ?
We could get this done a lot quicker
if we formed a type of assembly line.
This here is a
run-out-the-clock situation.
Just like upstairs.
Sports metaphors are one
of the ways women feel left out
of the language of the office.
Now, I know this might sound silly,
but many women ask to go over it.
So fumble means
- Mistake.
- Slip.
Right.
Par for the course is a golf term,
it means right on track.
Below par means worse.
Wait.
That's doesn't make sense.
What about second base ?
Like if Michael said
he got to second base with you ?
- Does that mean he closed the deal ?
- Excuse me ?
- I mean, that's a baseball term, right ?
- I don't know what.
Michael was talking about
- Hey.
- Hey!
How's it going down there ?
It's a complete.
Well, actually it's
exactly what you'd expect, so
- How are the girls ?
- Good.
We watched a video
about our changing bodies.
- Did you really ?
- No.
Almost.
Something kind of cool.
There's this
internship in graphic design
that Jan was telling us about.
She made it sound, like, really great.
Nice.
Well, what's it all about ?
I think you should do it.
That's great!
It's really cool.
Cold front comin' in to the warehouse !
Better put on your ski boots !
Happy New Year Darryl !
Hey, Darryl!
You ever done this ?
Are you married ?
- I'm divorced.
- That must have been hard.
It was.
Yes.
You were probably feeling
really depressed and sad.
And that's why you did
that thing with Michael.
I think you should all spend a little
more time about your careers
and less time on personal stuff.
I think we're all okay with
the balance we've struck.
At least you don't have kids.
You have no kids, right ?
- Thank God.
- Okay
Let's take five.
I think we could all use five.
How can someone so beautiful be so sad ?
- Hi.
- Did you take care of the situation ?
Yeah, yeah.
Yes.
- I I have essentially
- Excuse me.
- Yes, I've taken
- Excuse me.
I'm told that there's been some
interest in forming a union.
And that Michael supported it.
Obviously he's not a friend of yours,
because he didn't tell you the facts
So let me.
If there is even a whiff of
unionizing in this branch,
I can guarantee you the branch
will be shut down like that.
They unionized in Pittsfield, and we
all know what happened in Pittsfield.
It will cost each of you
a fortune in legal fees.
Union dues, and that'll be nothing
compared to the cost of losing your jobs.
So I would think long and hard
before sacrificing your savings
and your futures just to send a message.
If you have any further questions,
you can direct them to
to Michael.
Dreams are just that.
They're dreams.
They help get you through the day.
Like the thing about
the terrace.
It's nice.
But, um
I don't know.
It was just something
I read in this book when I was 12.
The girl in the book has a
terrace outside of her bedroom
And she planted flowers on it.
And I just loved that.
Just always kind of stuck with me.
So, you're not doing it.
How did you know ?
Why not ?
Just not no big reason.
- Just a bunch of little reasons.
- Come on.
Roy's right.
There's no guarantee
it's gonna lead to anything anyway.
Roy said that ?
What ? You have something
you wanna say ?
You gotta take a chance
on something sometime, Pam.
I mean, do you wanna be a
receptionist here, always ?
Oh, excuse me!
I'm fine with my choices.
You are ?
Yeah.
It's impractical.
I'm not gonna
try to get a house like that.
They don't even make
houses like that in Scranton.
So I'm never gonna
Just gonna push this over there!
This is not a good idea right here.
Easy does it, okay.
Pizza.
Great equalizer.
Rich people love pizza.
Poor people love pizza.
White people love pizza.
Black people love pizza.
Do black people like pizza ?
Hey.
Look guys, I'm sorry.
Sometimes, Jan can be such a ***.
Hey, watch it, watch it.
We have a relationship.
Thank you to our host.
Hey Michael !
This ain't over.
Excellent.
Is it good to be back ? Yeah.
I mean,
I love the guy stuff, But
To run an office,
you need men and women.
You know why ? Because you need to have
that crazy *** tension
to keep things interesting.
Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam.
Hold please.